Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| college problems |
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| Anonymous |
| 12/14/01 at 01:30:12 |
| Salaam Alaikum, Sisters. Okay, here's the deal. I am 19 and a freshman at community college. I was going to transfer in 2003 but have decided to transfer early. The thing is the only school close to me that has a good communications(my major) program is George Mason University. I live across the street from it. I have no problims with GMU but there are two other schools I would rather go to. They are both in state schools but they are like four or five hours away, so commuting is out of the question. My mom says I, as a muslim woman, should not live on campus but that leaves me with only one option for college. What if I don't get in? I can't go anywhere else to school unless I pay out of state tution, which is several thousand dollars more, and commute to D.C. or Maryland. BTW, I live in Virginia. Anyway, considering all this, is it really wrong for me to live on campus? Thanks in advance. Rahmah P.S. You can also send replies to my e-mail at Sunshyne382@aol.com |
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| Hajreee |
| 12/15/01 at 16:20:46 |
| Hey Salaams Rahmah! what's up? inshaAllah all is well with you :) George Mason University!!!! hehe ALL my friends go there :) you know, it wasn't that good of a university before, but now, alhamdulillah it's getting much much better (even though my dad refuses to believe that) but there are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many muslims there, it's unbelievable, mashaAllah, so i don't think you would have to worry about fitting in or anything....i think i know where you want to go, perhaps UVA, VATECH, UMD, GWU, GTU, JMU, and the list goes on and on, hehe! but if you live in VA, then the tuition for UVA and VATECH is about the same as Mason and i think you would also have instate tuition for William and Mary and JMU.. and i dont think you should have a problem getting into Mason, it's REALLY easy to get into, alhamdulillah :) as for your question about dorming- from what i got about your location, if you wanted to go to UVA or VATECH or JMU or whereever else, you WOULD have to dorm, cause it's pretty far, i don't think it's wrong to dorm, but it's kinda sketchy because it's easy to fall into the bad habits of the environment and also, because you're a girl, safety issues play a role as well my advice- stick to Mason, it isn't that bad and i doubt you would have any trouble finding muslims! and you know, it's undergrad right now, maybe when you do graduate school or something, you can go to some TOP college, inshaAllah! :) don't sweat it, take it easy and trust me, you will end up where Allah wants you to go to, inshaAllah! Take care of yourself! oh, btw, are you at NOVA? ;) that's the community college EVERYONE goes to, hehe Okee, Wa Salaams |
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| Ayla |
| 12/17/01 at 09:43:39 |
| I don't know anything about if it's OK to dorm - perhaps consult with someone at your mosque? I grew up across the street for GMU!! I went to Bonnie Brae and Robinson Highschool! Too funny. I took some classes there and know some of the professors. It's a really great school. I have a friend in the PhD program there for Psychology. The nice thing there is that everyone commutes. If you are thinking of other schools with instate tuition that you could drive to have you looked at Marymount? It's not as good as GMU and I don't know much about their demographics or policitics but I do know that they have some very good advanced degrees - also, don't knock NoVa - the Arlington campus especially is really good. Good luck! |
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| NewJehad |
| 12/17/01 at 10:31:16 |
| I think every one here knows what I think about university education and women seaking university Education. Let alone women dorming, It is not a good idea. I dont think it is a good idea for any one to dorm. I myself have not dormed, but have been a security guard at dorms. I advice every one to stay at home, women in perticuler if you go uni. But think twice about going to university? why would you want to? Considering the role you foresee for yourself as a Muslim women. I feel the over welming majority of people who have gone university have wasted time, women in particuler. |
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| Hania |
| 12/17/01 at 11:30:14 |
| [quote] But think twice about going to university? why would you want to? [/quote] Well if some women didn't go to University there would be no female doctors or teachers. You must be quite happy to allow your wife/sister/mother to be examined and treated by a male doctor rather than a female one! I for one thank Allah for female doctors. Hania. p.s. 'seaking' is spelt = seeking 'perticuler/particuler' is spelt = particular 'over welming' is one word and is spelt = overwhelming 'advice' was used grammatically incorrectly it should be = advise |
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| Anik |
| 12/17/01 at 11:51:23 |
| asalaamu alaikum, Interesting interesting akhee Jehad... Well, she asked, if its alright to board: this is what i say; most technically, no it is not the *best* for woman to be on campuses alone. Even if it is allowed by any strech of the imagination, it cannot be a prime option, and must be remembered as borderline if anything. if you *have* to (have to by Western standards means have to to get what you want) i would suggest seriously looking at the environment: NOTE: lots of muslims on campus doesn't mean diddley-squat- its not a good influence unless the individual finds the right muslims, and that's always a challenge at the university age group. Often, we think "Good, there are muslims, put my kid in that school" But from what I've seen, people are influenced MORE by people who are like them in certain ways, and thus their bad habits slip in easier. Back to the topic: should women be in campuses without mehram? No, not really, but if you are going to *have* to do it (the Western type of *have* to), make sure the rez is strictly females only, security guarded, complete segregation and so on, but don't expect to be Islamically unchallenged while your there. When we choose to do things like this, the fault of a mishap is entirely our own. Be careful ukhtee, Insha'Allah Allah SWT will guide you. asalaamu alaikum. abdullah,. |
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| NewJehad |
| 12/17/01 at 11:54:26 |
| hania what proportion of women who study at university study medician? and how many of women Dr only treat women in state Hospitals? there are loads of women Dr already and they are busy treating men. before you say we need more, we need the ones we have to stop treating men and treat women alone. before you say we need more women students cause we need more women studying medicen, we need to get the ones we have now to stop studying useless degrees and transfer to medicen. Before you can state that there is a need for women dr, we need womens only hospitals for them to work in. else the more women Dr you have, will only mean you have more women treating men. Basicly this argument only holds water in an Islamic state, where you have women only hospitals, schools and universities. |
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| Anik |
| 12/17/01 at 11:59:59 |
[quote] p.s. 'seaking' is spelt = seeking 'perticuler/particuler' is spelt = particular 'over welming' is one word and is spelt = overwhelming 'advice' was used grammatically incorrectly it should be = advise [/quote] asalaamu alaikum, wow, we've got a spellchecker on the board *roll eyes*. give him a break, this is not English class lol. asalaamu alaikum. abdullah,. |
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| explorer |
| 12/17/01 at 13:26:40 |
| [quote] Before you can state that there is a need for women dr, we need womens only hospitals for them to work in. else the more women Dr you have, will only mean you have more women treating men. Basicly this argument only holds water in an Islamic state, where you have women only hospitals, schools and universities.[/quote] Saying we need womens only hospitals first is baloney. Even in the west a woman can request to be seen by a female doctor so whats the big deal? More woman doctors available, the better it is to meet the demands of female patients not comfortable being examined by males. The issue of single-sex hospitals doesn't even come into it to justify not needing female doctors. Its as simple as that. And if a man is not comfortable being treated by a female doctor, or in your theory 'more women treating men', then it is his [i]right[/i] to say so - believe me theres plently of male doctors around. |
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| Hania |
| 12/17/01 at 14:15:37 |
| [quote] asalaamu alaikum, wow, we've got a spellchecker on the board *roll eyes*. give him a break, this is not English class lol. asalaamu alaikum. abdullah,.[/quote] Lol I am just showing off my school skills :D Who says education for women sucks heh ;) explorer I couldn't put it better than you did :) But Jehad I am going to turn 18 pretty soon and I am thinking about going to university next year so could u advise me on: [quote]we need to get the ones we have now to stop studying useless degrees and transfer to medicen[/quote] what is a useless degree and what is a useful one? If I don't go to university what should I do instead? And have you actually studied in a university to pass judgement on one? wa'salam Hania |
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| Saleema |
| 12/17/01 at 17:20:47 |
| hania what proportion of women who study at university study medician? 51% of graduates from Medical schools in the United States are women! :O [wlm] |
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| Ruqayyah |
| 12/18/01 at 01:08:00 |
| [slm] As i was reading the postings about women going to colleges, and living in dorms, and getting their degrees it caught my eye. I went to college and lived in a dorm and alhamdulilah have survived it. I'm now in medschool and inshallah will be a doctor. I could comment on all that, but i think i'll save it for another time. What i did want to say was that i was watching Oprah today, and it was about family. They told a lot of different stories about different people, women in particular, who for whatever reason stopped their career to raise a family. one woman was diagnosed w/ cancer, and dropped her career to be a mom becuase she wanted her kids to look back and be able to say that mom was always there. another lady was layed off from her job and saw it as a blessing in disguise because now she can spend more time w/ her kids. It really struck me how at peace and blessed all these women felt as having their #1 job be being a mother for their children. and i thought, how different the world be if the majority of women stopped their jobs and just focused on raising children. unfortunately, i don't know if this is a realistic option for most families out there for financial reasons. it would be incredibly difficult to survive on the father's salary alone, when you think about how much it costs these days to send your kids to school. You could debate on whether or not it's "the best option" for a girl to go to college and get a degree. i know it's been discussed many times before. [wlm] Ruqayyah |
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| kareema |
| 12/18/01 at 05:11:11 |
| Best thing to do would to see if you can get a dorm or an off-campus apartment with practicing Muslimahs.If there are so many Muslims on campus, this might be an option. That's what I plan to do , Inshallah. |
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| NewJehad |
| 12/18/01 at 08:56:09 |
| slm A useful degree is one which you need for a action that you want to do, like you can't be a Dr without a medicine degree and you can't be a optician without a ophthalmic degree. The fact is that these days many people just study a degree for the sake of having one. Because they seem to think every one has to have one. Often women study one, and once they finish they get married. What use is their degree in changing nappies? So it was just a waste of time and money. Wouldn't it be better for her to study how to cook, clean and look after kids from her mother and other females? Or study Islamic knowledge so her kids would have easy access to Islamic knowledge from her? The question that arises is why would you want to have a carrier? We know why western women want one, but you are not one of them. Western women chase carriers then often decide to start a family when it is too late. Or even worse they decide to do both. They spend their time chasing a carrier while paying some one to look after what really matters (their kids). Is it any wonder that kids in western societies are so messed up? And do we really want to emulate them? What should you do now that you are about to be 18? Get married to a good husband. My mum got married at 16, my friends mum 14, loads of other women even younger. In most of the world women get married as soon as they become women. For some reason when Muslims move to the west, they dump this natural way and adopt what is unnatural, thinking it is superior. I have heard some people say that these days families need double incomes, but the women you see working are mainly middle class women. Most poorer families have only one breadwinner. So its kind of like saying "while I am poor my income is sufficient, but once I become rich, I need to send my wife out to work too". You hear it to do with harram contracts too, like mortgages, most people can't even afford one. But when they get a high paid job, then suddenly they seem to think they can't live without one. Most poorer women can't even afford to work (high cost of child care), and with a lot of women in Europe, working leaves them with less money then not working. Often the reason why people work is the stigma of being a housewife. Do we really think our mothers lived lives that should be looked down on? "Saying we need women's only hospitals first is baloney." "51% of graduates from Medical schools in the United States are women! " This only strengthens what I am saying, there are loads of women Dr, so the argument that more women need to chase carriers cause we don't want our women being felt up by male Dr is not a issue. Cause if most Dr are women this is happening for other reasons. |
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| Hania |
| 12/18/01 at 09:49:01 |
| slm I do agree with you on some points. If your own mother was unable to teach you, then it would be a fantastic idea if women had a place to go where they could learn to be good muslim wives and mothers :) wa'salam Hania. |
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| kareema |
| 12/18/01 at 10:55:36 |
| I don't particularly like going to my secular college, but my parents want me to 'in case marriage doesn't work out and I have something to fall back on"(aren't Muslim women in Islam to be supported by their families, my dad, even then?). They are getting older though, so financially I wouldn't bank on them, and no other relatives I have are capable or desirous of supporting me in such a case. I would love to be a house wife, but it's not like there are any potential spouses round here. My mom doesn't cook, so I could sign up for that, and we don't have any little kids around to babysit, so I could also do that. What would be even cooler is if I could go to a madressa for women and learn Quran and Arabic. Maybe I will actually be able to go to Pakistan and do that, once money gets a little looser around here... |
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| Zafirah |
| 12/19/01 at 17:26:34 |
| NewJehad - Just for the record, I don't know too many educated men who can support their wives in a decent fashion who want to marry an uneducated woman just because she can cook and clean. I am a college graduate and a stay-at-home mother who also homeschools my child. I can assure you that my college degree and the extra hours I spent earning that degree do indeed come in handy when I am the primary educator of my own child. Additionally, the fact that I am a well-educated and highly literate woman is a bonus for my husband who likes having a wife to whom he can speak of matters other than dirty nappies and the price of milk. There is nothing at all contradictory in women having both a college education and fulfilling her duties at home. One does not necessarily preclude the other. Unless of course you prefer your women undereducated and opinionless. Z. |
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| ABD |
| 12/19/01 at 20:28:10 |
| Assalamu Alaikum, The only i can say is wow Sr. Zafirah. YOu really told NewJehad and I'm glad you did - no offense NewJehad. It's nice to have a sister speak so strongly once in a while, nomesayin??? I agree with Zafirah b/c women can also be highly educated and still live up to her responsibilities at home. There are some men who don't work and leave money-making to their jobs. Sad but true, Subhanallah. I'd like to write more but I'm a little short on time. Later Insha'Allah. Wassalamu Alaikum, Betul |
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| NewJehad |
| 12/20/01 at 05:16:29 |
| Zafrah "uneducated women" talk in a intelligent manner to their husbands as well, and can talk about things other then the price of milk and dirty nappies. I think all the really intelligent people I know have no formal education, the reason why they are so intelligent is they had to teach them selves instead of getting spoon feed knowledge from a fixed curriculum as is done in formal education. I think it was a famous American writer who said some thing like "Don't let education get in the way of learning". Formal schooling is not the only source of knowledge. As you can see from my earlier post I am not only against women's education but men's too. What I mean is in Pakistan you may find a carpenter who can make any kind of joint, or a weaver who can produce any kind of carpet, you also find many people with masters degrees who have absolutely no skills except knowledge on how to pass useless exams. Most firms here in the UK are more interested in experience then education, cause some one who has done the job before knows how to do it, while some one who has past a exam only knows how to pass exams. I think you will find that many women who were married straight after school are extremely intelligent, but they just choose not to follow the path of a carrier instead opting for early marriage. It is a well-known fact that dolphins have bigger brains then men. But some people think humans are cleverer because we work long hours, pay taxes and kill each other in wars while all they do is play and have fun, others think dolphins are more intelligent for exactly the same reason. |
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| Zafirah |
| 12/20/01 at 08:29:22 |
| Obviously I did not follow a career path or I wouldn't be at home raising my daughter. I went to college because I didn't get married at 14 (it isn't allowed in the U.S. to get married so young). I went to college because it was something I wanted to do. When last I checked it is allowable for women to pursue knowledge - even in Islam it is encouraged. I studied Microbiology. A subject of little value to me as a wife and mother but of great interest to me and one I could not have studied on my own in a library somewhere. Although, now that I have chosen to home-educate my daughter I can see how my post-secondary education in the sciences is helping me teach my daughter skills such as logic and deductive reasoning. Not to mention it makes working through the science book much easier. I do not believe a college education is necessary. In fact, my husband never even graduated from High School and he is one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. However, if one chooses to pursue knowledge in University - who am I (or you for that matter) to tell them that their time, energy and money are wasted? There are, after all, a good many jobs which one simply cannot do without the prerequisite educational experiences. Doctors, Dentists, Laboratory Technicians, Pharmacists, Nurses, Research Scientists are but a few of those careers in shich people are needed - and so is a college education. I do not believe that anyone should, at any time or for any reason be denied the opportunity of a university education if they so desire one. Z. |
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