Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons

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Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
BroHanif
12/19/01 at 18:11:40
Ok, folks, some of you I've got to know very well over the past few months and I'd like to ask a personal question, how many of you guys are married, if you are not married then why not, whats holding you back from marrige.

I'd like everyone to answer, thats you as well:
bhaloo, saleema, se7en, arsalan, mujahid, newJehad, Jannah, Kashif, Mystic and everyone who isn't on the list.

Whats holding you back.

I was gonna raise this with the bruthas, but due to the high intensity posts that it would have received I thhought its best if I raise it in the bebzi stand. :).

salaams

Hanif
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
shadow493
12/19/01 at 23:12:04
im married... so was that the correct answer?
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
ABD
12/20/01 at 00:37:11
Assalamu Alaikum waRahmatullaHi waBarakatuHu,

I'm not married....
To answer your question as to what's holding me back, I can't really answer that now. To tell you the truth, I haven't really thought about marriage that much. I have thought about it, and I know I'm not too young (so i can't use that excuse, I'm already 18 and i know a lot of ppl get married by 18), but the time just hasn't been right. I just started college this year and just getting used to it Alhamdulillah, and I haven't had the time to think about it. For me, there are other factors as well. For those of you who don't know, I have twin sisters who are 4, and a baby bro who's 3, so I'm helping my mom with them. I don't want to get married now and put the whole stress of wedding planning and stuff like that on her when she has the three young'uns. Also b/c the "right guy" hasn't shown up yet. I know that it's up to Allah-u Subhana Wata'ala and he decides when, where, and who we get married to, but the guys here are not for me, but Allah-u A'lim. And I don't think anyone of them has shown any interest b/c my parents haven't told me anything, but then again, would they? I don't know.
Allah-u A'lim and Insha'Allah i will get married. But for me, it's not the right time.

Wassalamu Alaikum,
Betul
A-Side Humour
Rehana
12/20/01 at 07:37:41
[slm]

...just a little something I came across today...thought some of you might enjoy ;)

When I was younger I hated going to weddings...it seemed that all of the aunts and the grandmotherly types would come up to me, poke me in the ribs, and cackle "You're next... you're next".

They stopped that after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals!!


:)

[wlm]
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
eleanor
12/20/01 at 06:42:55
slm

Although I am already married I decided to reply because the question mildly amused me.

You'd think that there were queues of people outside every single's front door, just waiting to marry them, but something keeps holding the singles back :)

For some people, actually I think for most people, it's not that something is holding them back, but rather that the right person hasn't come along yet. Believe you me, when the right person comes along, then there is nothing in the world that can hold you back.

hmm..maybe I'm wrong, and if I offended anyone then please forgive me :)

wasalaam
eleanor
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
M.F.
12/20/01 at 07:11:30

[quote]slm

I think for most people, it's not that something is holding them back, but rather that the right person hasn't come along yet. [/quote]

Or he has, but it's not the right time, or he doesn't actually have the guts to ask yet, or your family wants you to finish college first, or they think you're way too young, or you don't quite have enough money to invite the 200 people in your families who'd be offended if you didn't.
or all of the above
;)
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Lisha
12/20/01 at 08:05:06
as-salaama alaikum,[quote]Whats holding you back. [/quote]Eeee, i can think of a million excuses; i'll just leave u with the 1;)
...I'm still a baby:)

take care
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Mystic
12/20/01 at 08:56:16
[slm]
Building on my soul as i await the gallant Mujtahid to come riding on a red camel bearing a shining sword :-)

Maliha

[wlm]
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
ahmer
12/20/01 at 09:20:58
[quote]
Building on my soul as i await the gallant Mujtahid to come riding on a red camel bearing a shining sword
[/quote]

wallahi you gotta be in a desert !!!;-):);-)

wlm
ahmer
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
ahmer
12/20/01 at 09:26:57
[color=blue]


was about to be married, but.............over..........due to......
.......culture.......):(.......psuedo islam..............betrayal..:(
...............but...........islam.........hope....so...........
insha'Allah.......soon.....but.....still........heartbroken...:(...
cruel.........heart....sinks...:( :-( :( :(


[/color]
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
kiwi25
12/20/01 at 14:46:35
salam,

no im not married, hmmmm why? im just about to turn 18, i dont know, i think im too young, but i do want to get married young, ('tis sunnah you know :) ),  so maybe in a few years inshallah, Allahu Alim

ok im at sevens house right now, hehe i just asked her why shes not married, and she gave me this funny look :) hehehhehe

wasalam
nouha:)
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Anik
12/20/01 at 15:13:38
asalamau alaikum,

I'm not holding back Insha'Allah :)

Make dua for me Insha'Allah. aslaamu alaikum. abdullah,.
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Moe
12/20/01 at 15:32:49
[slm]
I am not married. cuz...... I am only 18! too young!!!!!!!! hehe
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
BroHanif
12/20/01 at 21:02:42
AWW,

[quote]ok im at sevens house right now, hehe i just asked her why shes not married, and she gave me this funny look [/quote]

Hmm so thats her answer, she must do better than that. If a person can give you a funny look it usually means that they are ready for it.

Salaams

Hanif
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Saleema
12/20/01 at 20:06:01
[slm]

What's holding me back? Nothing. :)

And no more questions.

[wlm]
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Rashid
12/21/01 at 01:32:00
[slm]

no dollars= no wife (refer to ads in magazines "seeking pakistani punjabi phd or md, must be fair skin, must be US citizen, must drive beemer or benz, must make 80k a year or more, no beards please"

[wlm]
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Anik
12/21/01 at 01:43:51
asalamau alaikum,

that's sad Brother Rashid, but that's the duniya... what can you do?

Even some muslims think like that. asalaamu alaikum. abdullah,.
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
kareema
12/21/01 at 03:16:19
Salaams, there are a couple of reasons, one is we live in an area with about 3 Muslim families in our city, which we very rarely ever meet with or talk to , I'm not even sure if they have any eligible guys.

Two, years of slacking off of tae bo and treating food as both hobby and comfort has resulted in unfortunate 30 pound or so weight gain, since I want a guy who's kind of buff, I figure I should whip myself back into shape, its only fair isn't it?That could take up to a year, I figure.

The final and most important reason is similar to Ahmer's,the whole situation in which I was engaged and finally unceremoniously dumped about a week before my wedding. Even though its been almost two years since this happended, self-doubt, lack of confidence and self esteem has proven to be quite resilient. I don't think I'm too young, rather too naive, impulsive. I remain throughly dissapointed with my family, his family, myself and himself and the whole situation, and don't know when to know when I'm ready to marry. How are you supposed to tell when you've found 'the right one'. I deluded myself into thinking that I had done just that.
NS
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Barr
12/21/01 at 07:13:33
Assalamu'alaikum :-)

No, nothing's holding me back. Y I am not married? Allahua'lam... and allahu a'lam indeed. Maybe, Allah wants me to develop with myself alone a while longer  than my peers... before facing a more challenging, yet fulfilling life ahead... Allahua'lam.

Though there are those who say I'm choosy. But I don't think I am.
One must be spoilt for choice, and not choose any, to be choosy. One must have all the roads open, with a blessed jewel ahead, yet choose to remain in situ... is choosy.

I am simply selective...
and when has marrying our soulmate, a choice solely ours, without Divine guidance? 

And dearest Eleanor sums it up well, mashaAllah.

[quote]For some people, actually I think for most people, it's not that something is holding them back, but rather that the right person hasn't come along yet. Believe you me, when the right person comes along, then there is nothing in the world that can hold you back. [/quote]

InshaAllah...when Allah gives us the sign, let nothing holds us back.


For those who have been hurt before... well, this ayah helps me. Hope it does the same to you too.
And Allah never breaks His promise. He never does... :)

[color=blue][center]…Unto everyone who is conscious of Allah (taqwa),
He (always) grants a way out (of unhappiness)
and provides for him in a manner that is beyond all expectation,
and for everyone who places his trust in Allah, He (alone) is enough.
Verily Allah will accomplish his purpose:
(and) indeed, unto everything has Allah appointed its term (and measure) [/center][/color]


In Peace
:::Barr:::

P.S. [color=red] WARNING to Solehah and Eleanor!!! No TEASING!!!! :P[/color]
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
gift
12/21/01 at 07:39:45
[slm]
i'm not married yet either. don't know what's holding me back - haven't had any offers as far as i know.  just waiting for the right time and person (Allahu aalim)

[wlm]
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
eleanor
12/21/01 at 11:42:56
slm

[quote]
P.S.  WARNING to Solehah and Eleanor!!! No TEASING!!!! :P
[/quote]

:o :o :o

Moi?


wasalaam
eleanor
;)

Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Anik
12/21/01 at 13:28:44
asalamu alaikum,

There's our fellow brother Majzoob getting married on Sunday Insha'Allah! Lets all make dua for him! asalamau alaikum. abdullah,.
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
ABD
12/21/01 at 15:57:44
Assalamu Alaikum,

BroHanif, I think you're right, she might be ready for it, Allah-u A'lim.
se7en, everyone's gonna think you're ready, r u???
I told Shadow u were already next month, well that story's for another time insha'Allah.

Wassalamu Alaikum,
Betul
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Laboogie
12/22/01 at 00:12:55
Salaams

[quote]I haven't really thought about marriage that much. [/quote]
ummmmm ok,if thats what u say missy ;)

[quote]ok im at sevens house right now, hehe i just asked her why shes not married, and she gave me this funny look [/quote]
 We have yet to find that br. BOB for the sister ;)

whats holding me back?ummmmm, sr.7, whats holding me back, ma??

peace
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
se7en
12/22/01 at 01:50:29
as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatAllah,

Hmm.. how did this turn into a "why isn't se7en married" thread ???

Maybe my standards are too high.. I'd like someone who's like, male, and a good Muslim.  And likes pepsi.  A lot to ask for, yeah?

To the mafia sisters.. better watch out next time we get together :)

To sister laboogie:

[quote] We have yet to find that br. BOB for the sister [/quote]
:o  That's just *wrong*.  I can't believe you said that!!

[quote]whats holding me back?ummmmm, sr.7, whats holding me back, ma??[/quote]
I know what it is.. it's just so difficult to find a brother with a good pair of timberlands and a nicely ironed abaya these days, you know?  May Allah grant you patience as you wait.. ;)

Hahaha.. I'm soo dead :)

May Allah grant us all awesome spouses that will be the coolness of our eyes :)

wasalaam

ps - brother ahmer and sister kareema, I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you have faced.  May Allah grant you patience, strength, and courage in times of trial and bless you with amazing spouses when the time is right.
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Laboogie
12/22/01 at 01:55:51
salaams

[quote]  That's just *wrong*.  I can't believe you said that!![/quote]
 what, what, what???? what did I do, I just said you need a brother whos name is brother bob but who has those qualities....

[quote]like, male, and a good Muslim.  And likes pepsi.  A lot to ask for, yeah? [/quote]
ummm, like yeah thats a lot to ask for hellllllllllloooo sister, where can u find a good brother who likes PEPSI and whos name is BOB, now thats hard ;) LOVE YOU MA, dont kill me...LOL, LOL,, LOL


---this is like tooooo much posting for me in one day :o and im tired of talking about marriage, ok, ok---tired :o :o

Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
taueeya
12/22/01 at 03:36:30
Assalamu 'Alaikum,

     [quote]if you are not married then why not, whats holding you back from marrige.[/quote]

      Only and Only one thing: I don't earn. I hate this materialistic approach so much! U start earning and u get married the next day, that's what I keep hearing from my parents.

     No money = No marriage is the rule! ( and I hate it).


Wassalam.
     



Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Hania
12/22/01 at 06:21:37
[quote]Assalamu 'Alaikum,

     if you are not married then why not, whats holding you back from marrige.

[/quote]
walaikum wassalam

Fear after seeing my parents fight and have a bad marriage. I am scared of entering an unknown journey. Marriage is something you are committed to for life. What happens if it doesn't work out along the way? I would rather wait until I am ready and be sure the man I marry is the one I want to share the rest of my life with. I need to feel 100% sure because I am so scared.
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Barr
12/22/01 at 06:36:32
Assalamu'alaikum :-)

[quote]No money = No marriage is the rule! ( and I hate it). [/quote]

Hmmm, I hope I don't sound as if I'm for or against you or your parents. I'm sorry if I do. But I think your parents may have some valid concerns, akhi.

Since you're a brother, it is your responsibility to be able to provide for your future wife and family financially as well (amidst many other responsibilities).

You would not only have to provide for your wife, but what if you get a surprise with a baby, suddenly along the way?

Though one can make arrangements with your parents/ wife (etc) in terms of financial help, in the meantime, but how comfortable are you with that, bearing in mind, the direct responsibility is yours, solely? (hmm, I think smt like this was discussed in the Ikhwan Folder?)

It's really up to you. Just thought of bringing up some points up. For sometimes, it's not about being materialistic, but being realistic.

Take care, brother.
Allahua'lam :-)
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
eleanor
12/22/01 at 10:48:32
slm

LABOOGIE :O :O :O

That is *so* weird!! For like the last two weeks I've been thinking "hey I wonder where Laboogie is..she hasn't posted in *months*" I was even going to IM se7en to see what was up!

It's *great* to see you back!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

wasalaam
eleanor

(doh..now I think maybe you'll post and say "I *told* you all I was going away for a few months...if so, sorry I forgot!!)
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Laboogie
12/22/01 at 19:23:25
[slm]

[quote]LABOOGIE :O :O :O

That is *so* weird!! For like the last two weeks I've been thinking "hey I wonder where Laboogie is..she hasn't posted in *months*" I was even going to IM se7en to see what was up!

It's *great* to see you back!!!        
[/quote]

yup its been a hot minute since I posted...Ive been on the down low, plus this semester has beeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnn CRAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZYYYY :O
So now that i have more time on my hands, I'll start posting---before se7en kills ;)
Could this be br. Bob?
bhaloo
12/23/01 at 10:00:47
slm

[quote]
 We have yet to find that br. BOB for the sister ;)

[/quote]

One of many emails someone sent Se7en.

>dear assalam-u-alaikum!
>i am XXXXX 24 male 5 feet and 10 inches tall.my eiys
>are brown and hairs are black,i am al-hamdu lillah
>muslim boy.i am from pakistan.i amlooking an good
>stricket islamic girl for marriey.
>would you like to marriey me?
>for more information please contact me.i don,t know
>your mail address may be you could not recieve this
>mail.
>
>                              your,s friend,
>                              XXXXXX

throwing the cat amongst the pigeons..WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
princess
12/23/01 at 17:37:05
as'salaamualikum ;-D

i'm not married, cuz no 1 is worthy..:) jokes :) i haven't found someone to marry..pretty basically sad ;-D bhaloo, u didn't answer the qqestion ;) do tell :)
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
abdulsamad
12/23/01 at 18:41:38
Assalamu Alaikum,
        I'm not married because I wouldn't be able to support her.
Since that's my responsibility, I'm waiting till I graduate. Besides,
I'm enjoying the bachelor life! ;-) (not that I don't want to get
married.) Also, I guess the right person hasn't come by. Girls like
the one who dies in "The Islamic Bulletin" are probably pretty rare.
I'm hoping they at least exist!

Wassalam
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
siddiqui
12/24/01 at 03:48:45

assalam alikum
#1Every morning a  new mirror cracks (masha allah) in horror just imagine what would the lady's plight be!
#2 live on 350 dollars a  month  (alhamdullilah)that is rent telephone utilities food( a trip to shalimar and 2 to sovrana ) included given a chance i wouldnt live in this penury,marrige is sure a mirrage
#3 The most important is When ever Allah Wills it will happen

















The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched...but are felt in the heart."
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Anonymous
12/25/01 at 13:30:16


"umare - daraaz maangh ke laaye the char din do aarzon mein
kath gaye do intezaar mien"
it's all good..
princess
12/25/01 at 15:33:38
as'salaamualikum ;-D

[quote]"umare - daraaz maangh ke laaye the char din do aarzon mein
kath gaye do intezaar mien"[/quote]

what in the world does that mean? :o all i got was 4 days and something about waiting..;) ;-D translate plz ;-D maybe we should have arshad (bhaloo) translate ;) :)
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Rashid
12/25/01 at 15:57:16
[slm]

yea come on br. bhaloo, help the urdu-impaired...mere ko urdu saada itni natihe...(did I say that right?)  

[wlm]
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
siddiqui
12/25/01 at 16:27:57

assalam alikum

A  Preliminary  transalation, would love it if  some one  could refine  this  further



A'long life 'of four days we came into this  world  with

two were spent in YEARNING (for her ? :) ) and the  other two were

spent in WAITING for  those desires to be  full filled.




This  sher was  written by the  last Mughal emperor Bhadur shah zafar
in 1857 just after he  had  been sent in exile to Burma  by the British

Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
bhaloo
12/26/01 at 00:08:43
slm

I can't be translating all these things in Urdu for you guys, just cause I won the last competition (ok, at least I did better then Princess). :)
Re: Whats holding you back, throwing the cat amongst the pigeons
Hajreee
12/26/01 at 00:16:44
Salaams

M'hmm bhaloo- sure, go ahead and use that excuse, "i can't keep on translating for you guys" WAAH WAAH! you *know* you can't translate it, heheheheheh!

i can't translate it either, it's okay, the first stage is denial, but once you've gotten past that, you're going to be ok!! :D


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