Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Attributes of my dream woman |
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| wsps |
| 12/27/01 at 10:17:54 |
| Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem!! Assalaamuaalaikum Wa Rahmathullah Wa Barakaathuh!! All Praises be to Allah(swt), the Lord of Aalameen who revealed the Quran, a healing and mercy to believers.We Praise Him Alone, seek His Help Alone and worship Him Alone.He guides whomsoever He wills to the right path and accepts the repentence of the repentor but to whom Allah does not guide there is no guide and he is in darkness and shall be in Mighty despair on that Day which none can Avert. I pray to Allah(swt) that this reaches everyone of you in His fear and hope Alone....... Dispute! in all the relationships of our life , well the relationship of a wife and a husband is one of the most stupendous and the feelings that Allah(Swt) has engrained are one of His Signs and the majority of humankind are not deprived of it except if they have chosen the monasticism for themselves which Allah(swt) has never ordained.Even though the relationship to imagine on a paper does not show both its sides and yes, it does have the other side of it which is not just the narrative.The first of them whom Allah(swt) made from His own hands is our father Adam(AS) and mother Hawwa(AS) and Allah says: "(Allâh) said: "O Iblîs (Satan)! What prevents you from prostrating yourself to one whom I have created with Both My Hands. Are you too proud (to fall prostrate to Adam) or are you one of the high exalted?" Surah As-Sad Chapter 38 Verse 75. This was the first of the relationship that Allah(swt) made for humankind and placed affection and mercy between them.The affection and mercy is something natural that Allah(swt) has placed but it is only to sustain the relationship and it carries no meaning if this mercy and affection makes us forget the PROVIDER, His remembrance and the duties that He has enjoined upon us and the mutual rights that we have over each other.This can possibly weaken the bond and consequntly would not allow the couple to REFLECT upon this great Sign of Allah(swt) which He(azwjl) wants us to reflect upon.... "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." Surah Ar-Rum Chapter 30 Verse 21. So the ways in which Allah(swt) wants a person to whom He(swt) sends in this world to reflect and COMPREHEND HIS MAJESTY AND GLORY are infinite and undiscribable but still our knowledge is very limited. If you trace back the history and see the affection and love that remained even after one of the spouse departed anyone would thinkof personalities like SHAH JAHAN who built THE TAJ MAHAL in memory of his wife and you will get many such examples but the purpose is not solved and the criterion for which Allah(swt) has put that CHARECTERSTIC seems to be meaningless!! So who should ask Allah(swt) as to what is the REAL PURPOSE FOR US TO REFLECT? Can we ask Him directly? If anyone has Allah(swt)'s mail-id please do forward it to me!! But He has sent His message, the Book for which there is no substitute which should be coolness to our eyes, should be a MIRROR where we correct ourselves, where we find rest and peace, where we should actually find a means of approach to Him... "It is not given to any human being that Allâh should speak to him unless (it be) by Inspiration, or from behind a veil, or (that) He sends a Messenger to reveal what He wills by His Leave. Verily, He is Most High, Most Wise ." Surah Ash-Shurah Chapter 42 Verse 51. So this should make you clear without doubt that the BEST MODEL WHERE WE SHOULD look to is our Noble Prophet(saws) who has given a practical example and Allah(swt) urges us to follow that in Surah Al-Ahzaab Chapter 33 Verse 21. "Indeed in the Messenger of Allâh (Muhammad SAW) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes in (the Meeting with) Allâh and the Last Day and remembers Allâh much" So how efficient was the effection of the Prophet(saws) to his Spouse Khadeeja(RA) with whom he(saws) spent major part of his life and when she was in his wedlock he did not marry any other and Ayesha(RA) says I was not jealous of anyone as much as that of Khadeeja(RA)... The affection of the Prophet(saws) remained even after she died that whenever someone knocked the door he would pray 'O Allah let it be Hala(sister of Khadeeja(RA))'. Whenever a sheep was slaughtered in his house he would send it to her. Then what is the difference? Shah Jahan built the Taj for his wife then there looks not to be any difference...? But no, the emotions that he(saws) had for his wives was explicitly due to the HUKM of Allah(swt) !! Volume 1, Book 2, Number 53: Narrated Sa'd bin Abi Waqqas: Allah's Apostle said, "You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for Allah's sake even if it were a morsel which you put in your wife's mouth." So the intention is solely to please Allah(swt) and not just because of the mere mutual dependence and this intention to please Allah accompanied by sincere actions so as to fulfill the mutual duties with due regard for each other will surely not only strengthen the very marital bond Insha Allah but also has much more in the HereAfter Insha Allah. But the life is not as potrayed in novels,books etc but the reality is different and one should always be prepared to accept the shortcomings of the other and try to rectify it if it is the Hereafter of the spouse that is more important for the other. If I ask my wife as to what she would do if Allah(swt),on the Day of Ressurrection, admits her to Jannah and suppose if He sends me to the Hellfire then what do you think she will reply ? If she says OK I will fight for you, I will be on your side and I will tell Allah(swt) that O Allah if you do not send my husband then I shall also not go to Jannah and worst case I will also come along with you to the NAAR!! Then if she says so then be sure that she tells so as a result of the MERCY AND AFFECTION that Allah(swt) has placed in this world BUT for sure on the other hand she is not aware of the real PURPOSE and that answer is a mere deception to please me...As Allahu Ta'ala says: "O mankind! Be afraid of your Lord (by keeping your duty to Him and avoiding all evil), and fear a Day when NO FATHER can avail aught for his son, nor a son avail aught for his father. Verily, the Promise of Allah is true, let not then this (worldly) present life deceive you, nor let the chief deceiver (Satan) deceive you about Allah. " Surah Luqman Chapter 31 Verse 33. But if I think of the other side, surely if she likes ma for the sake of Allah and SHE PREFERS my HereAfter to this world then her reply would probably (I am just giving example as I am not married yet)have been.. I will correct you when I find you disobeying your Lord, I will not press you for this worldly things so that you may fall into earning haraam,I will abandon your food if you miss a salaat, I will pour a bucket full of water if you do not wake up for FAJAR,I will go onto an indefinite fast if you do not grow the beard,I shall not wash your clothes if you do not practise Isbaal,I shall not accept any NEW clothes that you bring if you don't pay Zakaah,I will not speak to you for months if you do not stop gheebah,I will take care of your children,my modesty and your property in your absence in the way it befits a Muslimah .............!!! If such is the woman u get who loves your HereAfter more Then do you think will there be any differences UNSOLVABLE and for which they'd need a HAKAM if there is any? Will there be any believing man who'd say 'I still did not find the right person'? No Insha Allah and will there be any worry about disputes after marriage? No, the Book of Allah(swt) is sufficient for solving the mutual disputes which very few follow but Alhamdullah there are couples of that kind in this creation of Allah(swt). A woman came to Rasoolullah(saws) and her name was Khaulah bint Tha'labah; and she said O Allah's Apostle(saws) my body has decayed after fulfilling the needs of my husband and boring his children while today after all this, in this age he says to me that you are like my mother's back! O Allah's Apostle judge between us? Is this the Justice? Allah's Apostle(saws) got up and said: 'I have not recieved anything from Allah concerning this' She was depressed and she said: Insha Allah, Allah(swt) will reveal something for me! I do not know how much she might have cried and begged Allah(swt) to JUDGE but then Allah(swt) revealed those VERSES which are part of the Book on the basis of which we shall be judged on the Day of Resurrection Insha Allah.. "Indeed Allâh has heard the statement of her (Khaulah bint Tha'labah) that disputes with you (O Muhammad SAW) concerning her husband (Aus bin AsSâmit), and complains to Allâh. And Allâh hears the argument between you both. Verily, Allâh is All-Hearer, All-Seer. " "Those among you who make their wives unlawful (Az-Zihâr )[] to them by saying to them "You are like my mother's back." They cannot be their mothers. None can be their mothers except those who gave them birth. And verily, they utter an ill word and a lie. And verily, Allâh is Oft-Pardoning, Oft-Forgiving. " "And those who make unlawful to them (their wives) (by Az-Zihâr ) and wish to free themselves from what they uttered, (the penalty) in that case (is) the freeing of a slave before they touch each other. That is an admonition to you (so that you may not return to such an ill thing). And Allâh is All-Aware of what you do. " "And he who finds not (the money for freeing a slave) must fast two successive months before they both touch each other. And for him who is unable to do so, he should feed sixty of Miskîn (poor). That is in order that you may have perfect Faith in Allâh and His Messenger. These are the limits set by Allâh. And for disbelievers, there is a painful torment. " "Verily, those who oppose Allâh and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW) [] will be disgraced, as those before them (among the past nation), were disgraced. And We have sent down clear Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.). And for the disbelievers is a disgracing torment. " "On the Day when Allâh will resurrect them all together (i.e. the Day of Resurrection) and inform them of what they did. Allâh has kept account of it, while they have forgotten it. And Allâh is Witness over all things. " Surah Al-Mujadilah Chapter 58 Verses 1 to 6. So not only Allah judged but warned those who transgress the limits ordained by Allah(swt) but how important are the mutual rights? As Allah(swt) says "Verily, those who oppose Allâh and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW) [] will be disgraced, as those before them (among the past nation), were disgraced. And We have sent down clear Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.). And for the disbelievers is a disgracing torment. " Then one can imagine that the source of MERCY AND AFFECTION may turn out to be a TORMENT and a reason for dwelling in the NAAR if the mutual rights are not taken due care...and also this world shall be like a thorn-filled bed.. How good were the Sahabas when they would hear the verses of Allah(swt) they would submit to them in humility with complete submission and how many of us judge each other's disputes based on the Book of Allah? This great Sahabiyyah to whom Allah heard and revealed in His Words the decision must have surely been the one who might have constantly fulfilled the rights of her husband and children. One day Umar (RA), in the era when he was Ameer Al Mu'mineen was passing by, he happen to see a thin, weak and old woman, she called him and she started narrating him something to which he listened quite attentively.The time passed and he remained with the same attentiveness listening to her and after she finished he started moving.Those who were with him said that why did you stand listening to that old lady for so long? Umar(RA) replied, had she been continuing narrating to me whatsoever she wanted till FAJAR I would have stood! Who is Umar when her words are being heard by the One who is above the Arsh? Indeed she was "Khaulah bint Tha'labah". "O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allâh through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship)[]. Surely, Allâh is Ever an AllWatcher over you." Wa'assalaamuaalaikum Wa Rahmathullahi Wa Barakaathuhu! wsps Wa'assalaamuaalaikum Wa Rahmathullah Wa Barakaathuh! wsps |
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