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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| I'm back!! |
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| M.F. |
| 03/04/02 at 07:26:21 |
| Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem Al hamdu lillah! We did it!!! :-) Subhan Allah. What an experience!! Where do I start?? I can't begin to describe what it was like. It was the most difficult experience I've ever been through in my whole life, physically and mentally, but al hamdu lillah, I'm SO grateful to have been able to do it. Al hamdu lillah spending that little bit of time there opened my eyes to so many things. I can understand so much better all the references to shade and water in the Qur'an. looking at the Kaaba, I could almost see Muhammad [saw] praying there and the kuffar surrounding him, taunting him. I could feel how ancient this baytul ateeq is, you can feel that it's been there since the beginning of creation. Everyone looking at it has the same look of adoration on their faces. You can see them gazing at it with this faraway look, transported back to the beginning of time, the same look I'm sure everyone who has every looked at the kaaba has had on their faces. When you look at the kaaba, the crowding and the poking and the unpleasantness and the heat all disappear. It's there, stable, powerful, unmoving, you feel safe. There's nothing I can ever say that could describe the kaaba. No photo can ever do it justice nor can any tv camera. The energy and feeling coming out of it is just so powerful. Subhan Allah. To help us understand more, al-Sudais read ayahs about the kaaba in almost every prayer before we started on hajj :) It was amazing. The day of Arafa was when I felt closest to Allah. The kaaba subhan Allah made me feel close to Muhammad [saw] but on Arafa, after dhuhr, I could really feel that Allah had descended to the lowest sky and was boasting about us to His angels. I could feel Him SO close subhan Allah, like he was right there above me, listening to me personally. I left the tent and found a place to stand in the shade of a tree. The sun was on my left, and I closed my eyes and imagined that jannah was on my right and jahannam on my left, and that I was in front of Allah before the Sirat. For the longest time I could actually feel it, and I couldn't stop the tears al hamdu lillah. I just kept making du'a that Allah would help us accross the sirat and protect us from Jahannam. When the sun set, I was sad. That was it, that was the end of Arafa. I hope I didn't waste it. Al hamdu lillah at least that I was able to stand for a long time. A lot of people weren't able to, and many others slept right through it :( Mina was difficult. There's no where to go other than the tents, and the atmosphere in the tents was suffocating. It was difficult to do anything besides sleep. I didn't sleep most of the time but it was hard to stay awake and aware enough to make any kind of dhikr. I really wanted to leave a day early but my husband told me that there was a lot more ajr in staying till the end than there was in praying for one more day in the haram, even though it was difficult to spend the day in dhikr. By that point I was so dirty I couldn't stand myself. I didn't bring any clothes to change into on Eid after the tahallul cause I thought we'd be doing tawaaf the same day and going to the hotel. But we did go the next day after the rajm. The rajm al hamdu lillah was really easy. We'd heard that it was the most difficult part, but we learned how to get right up next to the bowl where the pebbles had to fall and throw them right it. There were lots of sandals in the bowl too and bottles and other stuff as well :) We were only able to spend one day in madina (we didn't spend the night) but al hamdu lillah it was enough to visit the Prphet [saw] and pray at Qubaa and at masjid al qiblatain and to see Uhud. I was able to pray in the Rawda ashShareefa (although the first time I stepped in it was so crowded I thought the life was literally going to be squeezed out of me, and I thought: huffatil Jannatu bilmakarih: Jannah was surrounded by hardships) Seeing Uhud was one of the most emotional experiences for me. First the driver showed us the archers' hill. It's just a tiny little hill, nothing like what I'd imagined, but seeing it, knowing its history, knowing how important it was, I just burst out crying. Then I saw Uhud, and I couldn't stop crying. Rasulullah said about it that it's a mountain that loves and and that we love, and I really did love it, and I felt that it loved Prophet Muhammad [saw], i could really feel it! I thought about Uhud shaking when Muhammad (S) and Abu Bakr and Omar climbed up on it, and the Prophet (S) saying: Uthbut Uhud (be firm, Uhud), for on you are a prophet and a siddeeq and a shaheed. That's the first thing I thought of when I saw Uhud. Al hamdu lillah. I hope Allah accepted it. There were times when I felt my patience was at its limit. Subhan Allah the crowds didn't bother me at all at first. Then, as soon as we did tawaaf al Ifaada, my patience with crowds came to an end, and I couldn't stand being pushed or poked or shoved anymore, that was it! The other huge test on my patience was my sister in law who seemed to me to have become like a child, asking unanswerable questions and being totally dependant on me for finding her way around, it was very difficult to that she got lost every time she went to the bathroom at mina, even though it was very close. Subhan Allah. I don't know why it was so difficult for me to be patient, and I really did try to stay nice the whole time but I know there were times when it was too much. There were several times during tawaaf when I spent a whole shawt asking Allah for patience (I think I did about 7 or 8 tawaafs total al hamdu lillah) It seems like the most common drink there is [] :) I thought of se7en a lot there. The airport where we arrived seems to be completely sponsored by bebzi[] ;) |
| Re: I'm back!! |
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| Kathy |
| 03/04/02 at 09:04:06 |
| [slm] Welcome back! May Allah accept your Hajj! Keep writing- --- |
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| UmmWafi |
| 03/04/02 at 09:58:47 |
| [slm] *wipes away tears* Maybe someday Allah will invite me huh ? Welcome back...hugs |
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| jannah |
| 03/04/02 at 11:50:21 |
| [slm] welcome back m.f. i hope you made dua for us!! :) |
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| Maliha |
| 03/04/02 at 12:30:08 |
| [slm] Welcome back M.F. :) Your experience sounds incredible!!! Mashaallah...Please share more as you are inspired to ;) [wlm] |
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| Noor |
| 03/04/02 at 13:47:29 |
| [slm] [glow=red,2,300]WELCOME BACK![/glow] :-* Hajjun mabroor wa dhambun maghfoor inshaAllah Please do share more. May Allah ta'ala give us all a chance to say "labayk" ammmmeeen wassalamu alaikum |
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| Mohja |
| 03/04/02 at 14:07:27 |
| [slm] Welcome back Sr. Mariam :) |
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| M.F. |
| 03/04/02 at 14:28:58 |
| Assalamu alaikum, in regular life, it would be very difficult for me to spend 10 or 12 hours straight in a masjid, no matter what kind of masjid it was or who was there with me to talk to. In Makkah, we'd spend from about 10:30 or 11 till after isha at the haram ( before hajj) and then again from 3:30 till after fajr, and didn't even feel it. I could read the Quran at a faster pace than I ever had before for longer streches at a time without ever getting tired. We would sit straight on the marble without moving for hours. How did we do it? How did we just stay there reading the Qur'an and praying once in a while and making super long sujoods on the bare marble?? Where did we get the strength to walk for miles and miles in the sun from Muzdalifa to minan and for about an hour looking for our tents in minan? (this was including my sister in law who has sciatica and a a very bad back) how did the rest of us get the strength to walk for several kilometers one night after doing a tawaaf in Makkah and finding the roads to minan blocked, and then how did we do a tawaaf upstairs and sa'y the next day??? How did I get along on max800 calories a day with all that effort? How come a banana was sometimes enough for the whole day as long as I had enough water? I really started to understand that we are a people who do not eat until we're hungry, and when we're hungry we don't fill up. I really started to understand the Prophet's [saw] hadeeth about how it is sufficient for ibn adam to have a few bites to hold up his backbone. I had absolutely no appetite there, and I hardly needed food. Once in a while I knew I needed to eat because I was lightheaded during a salat, but as for feeling actual hunger... nothing. Subhan Allah. How does that happen? Allahu a'lam. The saddest thing there for me was without a doubt the trash. These sacred holy sites were turned into giant piles of trash. I felt ashamed on Arafa. This is the day Allah was boasting about us, and I felt ashamed. What was there for Allah to boast about? All there was was trash everywhere you looked :( My father and I went out walking and he told me to just look up, because looking at the ground was a shock. Minan was worse because by the end the whole place stank even thought they picked up the trash at night. At Muzdalifa, we had to clear away some trash in order to have a place to lie down. It was so shameful. This was our ummah, the people throwing trash everywhere, in these places that have been sacred since the beginning of time, and sleeping through Arafa (I really hope the people that I saw sleeping got up after the sun went a little lower). I can't wait to go on a Umra. My husband is already planning to go next year on hajj as a helper to the travel agent :) There was a brother this who has been twice I think just to help out, and my husband told him that he wanted to take his place next year :) He'd only be paying the airfaire and a few fixed things but not the hotel; they slept just in some beds that were made up for them in a corner of the restaurant in the hotel. Of course I selfishly want him to use that time for a umra for both of us (cause it's going to be his vacation time) but I figure he might as well take advantage of this time as long as we don't have kids :) Yes, I made du'a for everyone, the people who asked me specifically and for everyone else in general. May Allah accept it! |
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| zomorrud |
| 03/04/02 at 17:07:40 |
| assalamu alaikum [color=navy][move][size=8]Hajjun mabroor wa sa3yun mashkoor[/size][/move][/color] Masha'Allah, for your beautiful hajj experienc. I could not hold off tears while reading your account for it... jazaki Allah khair. I hope that I can go next year with my husband - insha'Allah. I'd rather do it earlier than later, before having kids and getting busy with raising them... take care wassalam |
| NS |
| 03/04/02 at 17:14:29 |
| zomorrud |
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| Marcie |
| 03/04/02 at 18:59:23 |
| [color=Teal] [slm]Uhkti Mariam, Insha'Allah your sins have been forgiven and your Hajj has been accepted. [wlm] Marcie :-)[/color] |
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| bhaloo |
| 03/04/02 at 19:18:13 |
| [slm] Welcome back and congratulations on completing the Hajj may Allah (SWT) accept it. :) |
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| BUSHRA |
| 03/05/02 at 09:31:07 |
| [slm] MABROOK !MABROOK!MABROOK! I could hardly hold my tears back while going through your post :'(. So what does it feel to be like a newborn again? :-* May ALLAH give us all the chance to viisit the holy cities again and again . Mabrrok again and please share some more with us. BUSHRA :-) |
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| WhatDFish |
| 03/05/02 at 10:19:59 |
| [slm] MABROUK!! dear sister. May Allah accept ur hajj and bless you with jannah. truly a beautiful experience u had. |
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| BroHanif |
| 03/05/02 at 17:42:03 |
| [slm] Masha-Allah what a beautiful account. May Allah accept you hajj and all the other hajis who have performed it and who are going to perform it. Ameen. I know the problem of trash its quite sad, however if you went back to Arafah and Mina couple of days after hajj you find it hard to notice any litter. Insha-allah lets hope they have more resources to manage natural wastage in the near future. Hanif |
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| AbdulBasir |
| 03/05/02 at 17:43:29 |
| [slm] Welcome back sister and may Allah accept your Hajj as a Hajj Mabrur! :) May Allah reward you for sharing your experiences with us! [quote]I can't wait to go on a Umrah[/quote] It calls you back already eh? :) And it shall do so forever..:) [slm] |
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| explorer |
| 03/05/02 at 19:35:45 |
| [slm] :) Alhamdulilah Mariam sounds like a breathtaking experience, a journey we shall all embark upon some day inshallah. I'm curious, how long did it take to perform tawaaf amidst the swarms of people? You bring up a very important point. On the subject of litter, I recall Sheikh Hamza Yusuf mentioned the Hajj today was a reflection of the state of our Ummah in that lack of respect, care and concerted effort on our half is the reason the ummah being in such disarray -if one cannot demonstarte and take such simple steps in the Hijaz during the most auspicious of occasions, then one wonders if we even bother to exectute this in the very lands we travel from. Food for thought i guess :-[ |
| Re: I'm back!! |
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| M.F. |
| 03/06/02 at 03:59:14 |
| [quote author=explorer link=board=bebzi;num=1015244781;start=15#16 date=03/05/02 at 19:35:45] I'm curious, how long did it take to perform tawaaf amidst the swarms of people? [/quote] It took about an hour if we did it downstairs in the sahn, sometimes less. I did three tawaafs up on the second level and up there it takes about an hour an a half. I'm sure that on the roof it must take two hours but it's a lot less crowded there. That point Hamza Yusuf made about the trash is interesting. I also heard something thought provoking the other day: if removing something harmful from the road is one of the branches of Imaan, as the Prophet [saw] told us, what does that say about people who [i]put [/i] harmful things in the road like trash and razor blades (scary for the men wearing sandals!!) and things like that?? |
| 03/06/02 at 04:03:27 |
| M.F. |
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