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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Newly Converted Roommate |
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| pakiprncess |
| 03/05/02 at 18:31:44 |
| [slm] my roommate just recently converted to islam (subhanallah). she was inspired to change from being a buddhist to a muslim because her boyfriend is a muslim and he wants her to convert. although im a little unclear as to whether thats a good idea (he shouldnt have a gf in the first place), im simply trying to teach her the basics. so far, we have been praying together and i pray aloud while she listens and goes through the motions. ive asked her, and she doesnt pray on the weekends (while i go back home). i dont know how to emphasize to her that this is crucial. any suggestions? also, i want her to accept the religion from inside, because she loves it and because it brings her inner peace. ive tried to ask her various times whether she likes the religion itself (regardless of the push by her bf), and she simply says that she has studied many religions and that all of them are similar, because they all preach good morals and etiquette amongst humankind. what do you think i should say to her, to point out a distinctive characteristic of islam, that will make her embrace the religion at a deeper level than she has already? i would love to hear any other similar stories or experiences from anyone...ive never done this before and it seems awkward to me. on one hand, i dont want to push about the strict requirements on muslims because i dont want to scare her, but on the other i dont want to casually let her live her life the way she did before converting. any suggestions on how to react in this situation would be greatly appreciated. jazakallahkhairin. |
| Re: Newly Converted Roommate |
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| eleanor |
| 03/06/02 at 06:18:07 |
| [slm] hmm.. this is not an easy situation.. for you or for her. This is the danger of converting for the sake of people, instead of Allah. When your heart has accepted Islam and Allah, then you will want to be the best possible Muslim you can be, not just when other people are around. I often worry about people like this sister because time and time again, in cases like this, when the relationship with the Muslim ends, then they usually leave Islam too. :( I would advise you, Sister, to spend time talking to her about Allah and his attributes. To help her realise that Allah is with us all the time, that he is infinitely merciful and loving. I think once she has comprehended the beauty of the Unity of Allah, then her heart will be more receiving towards the practical aspects of Islam. You can explain to her why we believe that Islam is right and other religions are false. How she has made a wise decision, knowingly or unknowingly, and now it is important to follow through on this. I remember the more I read of the Qur'an the more - literally - terrified I was to just reject it all. The warning is repeated over and over again.. those who hear of Islam and reject it will receive the worst punishment. I'm not suggesting for a second that you scare the sister into praying on the weekends, but remember that it takes time and an incredible amount of patience to go through with this. And the rewards are hers, and yours, to reap. I hope I helped somewhat.. If not please ask again.. Anything good or helpful, I wrote by the grace of Allah, if there are mistakes, they are mine and I am ever open to correction :-* wasalaam eleanor |
| Re: Newly Converted Roommate |
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| pakiprncess |
| 03/08/02 at 15:56:45 |
| sister eleanor -- thank you so much for being brave and attempting to help solve my problem!! im ever so appreciative :) yah, i plan on explaining the importance to her, but i cant think of anything outstanding about islam (on a moral level). other religions also preach moderation in many things, preach love and acceptance of others, preach the compassion of humanity, and even the utmost belief in one supreme being. i think shes kinda categorizing islam with those other religions...the sad part is, i cant think of anything incredibly and deeply convincing....its hard for me because ive always grown up with the religion and ive never known any other way nor wanted to know any. i dont question principles of islam because i have a deep conviction that theyre right. but how to explain this conviction to someone else? and how to convince them as well? i mean, i dont want to tell her, 'well, you hafta pray otherwise youre gonna burn in hell'...that sounds very discouraging (to me, anyways). and youre right, this is an awkward situation because she embraced the religion out of the interest of her bf...not neccessarily because the religion marvelled her (YET! inshallah) but i want to approach this as an opportunity to help her begin her new life as a muslima who enjoys the practices and principles of our religion. with your prayers, inshallah, she will be doing so soon. thanks again for your response. i really do appreciate your input. it will probably take time, but inshallah i will post good news soon. jazakallah khairin. |
| Re: Newly Converted Roommate |
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| eleanor |
| 03/08/02 at 17:08:48 |
| [slm] I need to think about this some more... I need to pinpoint what captured me in Islam as compared to Christianity..because I was relatively happy to be a Catholic before... I'll get back to you Insha Allah wasalaam eleanor :-* |
| Re: Newly Converted Roommate |
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| Julie |
| 03/08/02 at 20:54:34 |
| [quote] i cant think of anything outstanding about islam (on a moral level). other religions also preach moderation in many things, preach love and acceptance of others, preach the compassion of humanity, and even the utmost belief in one supreme being. i think shes kinda categorizing islam with those other religions...the sad part is, i cant think of anything incredibly and deeply convincing[/quote] What if you explained to her the status of women in Islam? That's what attracted me to Islam in the first place. Women in Islam are respected for their minds and not their bodies, which is something unique in secular societies. Maybe you could get her involved in the Madina community here. I learn something new each time I logon. Those are just a few suggestions. Hope they help!!!:-* Julie :) |
| Re: Newly Converted Roommate |
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| Marcie |
| 03/08/02 at 21:20:29 |
| [color=Teal] [slm] I think that you don't want to overwhelm her with everything. Make Dua and have faith in Allah (swt) that she will be rightly guided. It does not matter how a person gets to Islam, but that he/she continues down the right path. The best thing that you can do is really to live by example. Allow her to show you directly or indirectly what her interests are. Have you introduced to her other sisters? When I was first a Muslim I really loved the community of sisters. Most people don't change overnight and it can be a slow process with many stalls so just be patient insha'Allah. [wlm] Marcie :-) Ps. What do you know about Texas Tech? [/color] |
| Re: Newly Converted Roommate |
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| momineqbal |
| 03/09/02 at 01:32:49 |
| [slm], May Allah reward you for helping out a muslim sister and don't worry about she becoming muslim just for her bf etc. InshaAllah if Allah has decided to guide her no one can misguide her and she will eventually come to experience and appreciate being a muslim a lot more. It is true that all religions in a broad way teach morality and good behavior etc. but Islam is the only religion that shows you how to achieve good morality, good behavior, build a good society in an easy practical, achievable manner. So this might be a very good learning experience for you as well as you would need to seek more Ilm (knowledge) regarding this matter. It might also be beneficial to ask her to come along with you to some good Islamic speakers' programs, meet other muslims and so on. Also all the advice given by other posts are excellent as well. May Allah help you in this good deed. Wassalam Eqbal |
| Re: Newly Converted Roommate |
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| M.F. |
| 03/09/02 at 15:54:00 |
| The outstanding thing about Islam, to me, is that it teaches more than good behavior and morals: It teaches you how to live your life completely. It doesn't just address your relationship with God or even with other people. What other religion has a complete economic system? A fixed alms system (zakat for those who are able), a way of remembering God in everything you do be it just your mundane every day work or in actual worship. What other religion makes your whole life into worship when you do things the way they were described to us by Rasulullah [saw]? What other religion says more than be good to your neighbors... it defines their rights and who the neighbors are! You should consult with your neighbors before building something that will shade their property! If you cook food and they can smell it then it's their right that you share it with them! What other religion places so much importance on keeping family ties... rights of children and parents... on spreading greetings to those you know and those you don't in order to spread love as Rasulullah [saw] told us... What other religion has such precise rules of war as Islam does? (this is also important for people to know the truth about). What other religion can provide a complete description of what it will be like to stand before Allah? What He'll say to us... what state we'll be in? What other religion says that each good deed is worth at least 10, and if you intend to do a good deed and are unable you still get a good deed written!!! What other religion says that bad deeds can be changed into good deeds with repentance and Allah's mercy!! What other book besides the Qur'an calls for so much reflection on Allah's creation? What other book describes all those astronomical and geographical and biological miracles that we Muslims have known about since the beginning of Islam? There are so many things that are outstanding about Islam Subhan Allah. The main thing is, it's more than worship, it's more than good morals and teachings... it's a whole science and a whole lifestyle.. Al hamdu lillah for it! |
| Re: Newly Converted Roommate |
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| Halima |
| 03/10/02 at 07:35:12 |
| Indeed, Islam is a lifesytle. Islam and the Qur'aan cover a multitude of issues. Our responsibility is to guide and advise. And our biggest responsibility yet, is to shade on the positive attributes of Islam. You all have the right ideas and right approach. Remember this, you can do as much as you can but the Allah is the one who puts Iman and belief in our souls. And converting for the sake of another person is right. Our Rasul (S.A.W.) was at his grandfather's beside when he was dying. His grandfather brought him up after his uncle died. The Prophet, Salalahu Aleyhi Wasalaam, asked his grandfather to say the shahhada on his dying bed. His grandfather refused saying the Qureshi will laugh at him saying that he become a coward at death. The Rasulullahu (S.A.W.) said to him; "just say Alaillaha Ilalahu only grandfather. Don't add Muhamada Rasulullah". But his grandfather refused. Then Allah, Subhanu Wataallah sent Jibril, Aleyhi Salaam and to tell Muhamad; only those that I (Allah) show the right path will convert. You have done all you can Ya Muhamad (S.A.W.) so let him be". Continue doing what you are doing and more if possible, INSHA-ALLAH. There rest, leave to Allah, Subhanu Wataallah. Halima |
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