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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Playgroup Question |
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| Anonymous |
| 03/09/02 at 03:41:00 |
| Assalamualaikum mums or parents. I need yr advise. I've attended an Islamic playgroup. Some mothers love to come to this playgroup because they can meet other mums and chat away and also because their children can play with other Muslim children. The problem is how can I tell mothers without offending them, to supervise their children aged betwwen 2-4 when they are playing outdoors with other kids because I have seen one child biting the other and some putting sand over the other kids. |
| Re: Playgroup Question |
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| eleanor |
| 03/09/02 at 07:11:55 |
| [slm] is anyone in charge of the playgroup or is it like a coming together each week with no real organisation? If there is no organisation, I'd suggest you hold the meeting sometime at your house or at a sister's house and get all the mothers together, while someone else is supervising the children in another room. Then you can discuss the nature of the group, the advantages and disadvantages. You can nominate a leader and an assistant leader who will have this responsibility for say 6 months or a year. Then you can agree on a list of Do's and Don't's (including supervising the kids properly). If you manage this sucessfully the group could go even further, Insha Allah, like having a picnic or trips to the zoo. If you think this is impossible then maybe a quiet word with each of the mothers along the lines of "We shouldn't really let our kids run wild in there.. who knows what might happen unintentionally if we don't watch them and correct them all the time.." Make yourself as much to blame as them and Insha Allah they won't be offended. Good luck!! :) wasalaam eleanor :-* |
| Re: Playgroup Question |
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| Kathy |
| 03/09/02 at 11:11:30 |
| [slm] Wow good topic! I have struggled with this also. From pasts posts many of you know how dismayed I am with the behavior of the children at the masjid. This even carries over to personal visits. So many moms are just thrilled to be visiting and completely forget their children- or worse- ignore their behavior. There are a couple of homes i dread going to. The children are miniture monsters- who love to bully or get into trouble. Almost every visit ends with me being frustrated- with the parent for not stopping her child from mischief. Being from a small town- there are not many muslim children. So I need to make an effort for Ali to get to know them better. (Gotta admit- I Love the Moms too!) But most of the time it is just easier on the nerves to have a school chum who is behaved, come play. Anyone know the best, most sensitive way, to correct another child's behavior when the mom is sitting right there? |
| Re: Playgroup Question |
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| Marcie |
| 03/09/02 at 11:51:06 |
| [color=Teal] [slm] No matter where you go this is an issue. Even in our mosque it is a big problem. My husband and I have a hands off policy, because we don't have children and accusations are made. Eleanor has some great suggestions and in my opinion they are really Islamic. Subhanallah if we were really Islamic this would not even be an issue. The reality is something different though and parents are [i]very sensitive[/i] when it comes to their children. Depending on the make up of the group you could say something, but if the group is made up of different nationalities and cultures it might be better to just accept things instead of stepping on toes and offending others. If you are American, like myself, we tend to be a [i]little[/i] too direct for others and your suggestions or comments may backfire. Maybe you should think about subtle ways for changing the group, so that you don't come on too strongly and risk losing friendships for yourself and your child. Try to remember that while you are watching them thinking that this is not okay, they are also watching you and may also not like all that they see in your childrearing methods. Just my two cents. [wlm] Marcie :-) [/color] |
| Re: Playgroup Question |
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| BUSHRA |
| 03/09/02 at 12:12:38 |
| [slm], ok HERE R MY 2 PENCES, Over here (London) our local school runs a "toy library" session which is similar to a playgroup but it is very well organised. The toys are in good condition , and they also have a huge variety. The children are mainly preschoolers and since the school only runs two sessions per week , it tends to get a little overcrowded. A social worker and a nursery nurse run this and toys can also be borrowed and returned the next week hence the term toy library. There are posters up the walls which contain rules like: parents should supervise their children at all times parents must help out in tidyup time. parents should cooperate with staff during snack time. So it is a discreet way of telling the parents what is expected of them however I have seen a little to snatching here or a little push there but then this would happen when 15-20 toddlers are around at a time. :o However I have even seen parents leave their toddlers running around on the slides and it does not bother them if they push other children and what not >:(. But it also depends upon the children, not all children run around wild. Example my daughter is so different from her elder brother , it only takes me once to tell her gently when something is wrong and she listens immediately.......shes only 2. whereas I keep telling my son over and over untill he gets it ,sometimes I just grind my teeth. :o ;D So I do sympathize with parents of overactive kids in a way, cause it gets embarrasing especially in public places..........and I should know; I'm one of them ::) :-/ BUSHRA :-) |
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