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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Being Single or Marriage? |
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| iimaan |
| 03/18/02 at 14:55:25 |
| Bismillahirahmanirrahiem [slm] :-)s, I'm trying to find out if I'm the only one with this problem (if you could call it a problem) I hope not, maybe y'all could give some pointers on how to deal with these 'emotions' :'(( ;)). Well, y'all know the hadeeth (in my own words) that says that marriage is the half of your believe. So, even though I'm only eightteen I think a lot about marriage not about a particular person I would like to marry, but more in a ... ehm... 'abstract way' . Like: what would it be like to be a wife as a muslimwomen? What kinda of man am I going to marry (In Shaa'Allah) a Dutch, Somali, Pakistani? Etc, etc. Does it really make a difference what his etnicity is? And I'm absolutely so curious about the man that Allah has chosen for me. And these questions make me long for marriage, also because of all the positive things in it (if you look at the Sunnah of the Prophet [saw] and the Qor'aan) and to get the answers. But on the other hand I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRY! As soon as a situation occures in my life where I (could) meet a possible spous, I'm thinking about the things that I'm maybe gonna miss out on or 'how do I know he's the one', 'what if I meet Mr. Right a week later'? Etc, etc. ::) I know all the things in my life are already written down and I only can change by doing dua's. So I'm begging Allah to give me a righteous spous. But still... I wonder.. Salaam, :-* |
| Re: Being Single or Marriage? |
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| Jenna |
| 03/18/02 at 15:44:35 |
| Wa'alaikum Assalaam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh! SubhanAllah Sis, I understand your predicament , I am a young girl of 19 and have been happily married for 5 years now Alhumdulilah! Yes the best thing to do Sis, is to beg to Allah to send you the best Muslim man, a man that is right for you. Because only Allah knows whats best for us. Remember, you want a brother who is serious in the Deen and does his best to better himself Islaamically. Just make sure you try to better yourself as much as possible in the deen, and keep begging to Allah for Mr Right.... LOL Best way to deal with these emotions is du'aa to Allah and talking with friends. :) :) Your Sis in Islaam Jenna :-) Feel free to e-mail me at AMuslimWife@aol.com |
| Re: Being Single or Marriage? |
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| Anonymous |
| 03/22/02 at 02:29:34 |
| assalamu alaikum i want to get married but i don't think Mr Right is out there right now. and some days like today i think about Mr Wrong. God forgive me. i have been fasting and doing dua. as to talking to someone who do you share this stuff with wa alaikum assalaam |
| Re: Being Single or Marriage? |
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| Kathy |
| 03/22/02 at 09:21:55 |
| [quote] as to talking to someone who do you share this stuff with [/quote] [slm] Check out the characters on this message board. Find someone you respect and ask. You could always register with a different name and use it if you fear smudging your name. :-) |
| :-)Re: Being Single or Marriage? |
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| se7en |
| 03/23/02 at 00:44:34 |
| as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatAllah, Sisters, if there is one thing I can tell you, it's that you are *definitely* not alone :) I think *all* sisters our age think about marriage.. because a - we're human beings [i.e, we have a natural, innate attraction and desire for the opposite sex] and b - we're Muslim [and we know that the only relationship in which this affection, attraction, and love can be manifested in a way that Allah will love and be pleased with is marriage] so don't feel alone :) The thing is though, it's very easy for these kind of thoughts and feelings to overwhelm us, to affect our interaction with people and even allow us to behave in ways that are wrong Islamically. So.. if you're not ready for marriage, be careful.. guard your actions and watch your heart. wasalaamu alaykum, sr. "18 going on 40" se7en |
| 03/27/02 at 03:46:32 |
| se7en |
| Re: Being Single or Marriage? |
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| Marcie |
| 03/23/02 at 08:23:57 |
| [color=Teal] [slm] One thing that I have noticed with many sisters, who are not married is that they spend too much time thinking about marriage! :-[ One thing that I have learned is that you should enjoy and appreciate the stage of life that you are in. There are many really cool things about not being married. It is a different sort of cool when you are married. So enjoy what you have got when you have got it. ;) [wlm] Marcie :-)[/color] |
| Re: Being Single or Marriage? |
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| maee |
| 03/23/02 at 13:46:19 |
| [slm] i agree with u Marcie but like Se7en said we're human and these emotions are pretty much human......ne ways..b cool bout it all fellow 'bachelor sisters'.....this is one gr8 enjoyable period of our lives...i know...cos i'm very panicked at the thought of marriage ........ ???whats life gonna b like???? mayb v should all jus forget all this and drink some [] [wlm] |
| Re: Being Single or Marriage? |
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| mujaahid |
| 03/23/02 at 15:21:04 |
| [slm] Jenna Muffin, your 19 and been married for 5 years? :o So you got married when you were 14? :o Anyway to all the sisters who are thinking about marriage, have you guys looked for potential husbands? Or do you just dream all day :-/ I can safely say, most brothers, practising ones are pretty decent, and the sisters now have quite a large number to choose from. You will find all types, white, black, tall, short, fat, skinny, muscular, geeky, nerdy, bad-ass dudes, funky dudes, ballet Dancers, loud, quiet, etc etc. BUT you aint gona find one you want on a plate, so speak to your parents, tell them you wanna get married, tell them the type of guy your looking for, and let the parents do the rest. Also look out yourself, if you see someone you may think is suitable, go and inquire about him, ask your parents to contact his etc. JUST DONT BE SHY WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE!!! Because if you are, your gona end up marrying some slipper yeilding bollywood wannabe with hallitosis who has just got of the banana boat!! Some if you want some YOU feel is suitable, then make the move!! Your young so you got time on your side, start looking as soon as possible, dont put it off for a few years because then you will start puting on weight, and begin to grow a faint mustache, and as we all know, a sister with a tosh aint a pleasant sight :-/ SO at 18, your at the ideal age for marriage. SO make a move sisters, the bro's are thier, they also wanna get married, so show yourselves!! What do big companies do when they wanna sell something? They advertise, i aint saying advertise yourself on TV, but at least be in a position where parents who have sons know that you are looking to get married!!! |
| Re: Being Single or Marriage? |
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| Yasin |
| 03/23/02 at 22:19:15 |
| Assalamu alaikum [quote] BUT you aint gona find one you want on a plate, so speak to your parents, tell them you wanna get married, tell them the type of guy your looking for, and let the parents do the rest. Also look out yourself, if you see someone you may think is suitable, go and inquire about him, ask your parents to contact his etc. [/quote] I agree with bro mujaahid.so, if you're serious about it just tell your parent or your elder sister that you're ready for marriage , insha'ALLAH everything will be fine . Keep in mind that marriage is serious business and you've deal with alot of things so,ask yourself are you really ready for it ? Insha'ALLAH i wish you the best Your bro in Islaam ThE-YaSkA ;-) |
| Re: Being Single or Marriage? |
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| Jenna |
| 03/24/02 at 00:26:16 |
| [quote author=mujaahid link=board=sis;num=1016481326;start=0#7 date=03/23/02 at 15:21:04] [slm] Jenna Muffin, your 19 and been married for 5 years? :o So you got married when you were 14? :o [/quote] [wlm] I can see somebody here, has passed the basic math test... ;) 19-5=14 19 take away 5=...18...17....16.....15....[glow=red,2,300]14[/glow] *counting w/fingers* ;) ;) Your Sis in Islaam Jenna :D :D :D |
| 03/24/02 at 00:29:25 |
| Jenna |
| Re: Being Single or Marriage? |
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| Aneesa_A. |
| 03/24/02 at 05:59:37 |
| [slm] "and begin to grow a faint mustache, and as we all know, a sister with a tosh aint a pleasant sight " LOL :D [wlm] |
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