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Coloring your Hair

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Coloring your Hair
Ruqayyah
03/21/02 at 21:50:42
[slm]

Ok, so I'm gonna do it....I'm gonna color my hair!!  :-/  So what I need is some advice on what works and what doesn't. My hair is dark so i don't think henna is gonna cut it.  I'm looking for a semi permanent dye that will eventually wash out. I'll prolly end up getting one of those boxes from the grocery store, so any brands out there that you sisters have had good experiences with?  

Any things NOT to do? This would be a great time to share some hair dying horror stories  ;D

[wlm]
Ruqayyah
Re: Coloring your Hair
Caraj
03/21/02 at 22:00:00
It's funny you should bring this up.   :-[
I was going to ask the ladies about this henna stuff?

I was real reluctant to dye my hair. I had never done it before and have now done it  twice in the last 4 months, trying the temp color.
It doesn't get totally rid ot the gray. It sort of tints it.

Haven't got much yet, but what I do have is real silvery and shiny not  grayish so with my dark brown hair it kind of sticks out.  ::)

I really don't want to use permante coloring casue if it goes wrong or I don't like it, then it will be years growing out as my hair is almost to my waist.

The one I tried was Clairol Basic Insticnts. (spelling) I liked it cause my hair didn't feel color treated. But the 24 wash one only tinted the gray.
It also has things like aloe and such in it.

How does henna work? Where do you get it and how do you use it?
03/22/02 at 00:19:16
Caraj
Re: Coloring your Hair
jannah
03/21/02 at 22:52:02
[slm]

Ok some sisters in the community have found this to be the only thing that works on dark hair: Feria coloring products.. They are excellent, safe, easy to use and the best thing is that they work!!! Try the auburn or dark red shades....

ps this is not a commercial endorsement ;)
Re: Coloring your Hair
Kathy
03/21/02 at 23:19:09
[slm]

For white girls with "white"  hair(not talking about color- but texture)- Feria can be real intense! :o

just one of my horror stories....  :P

i was glad i was a hijabi! :-)
Re: Coloring your Hair
Caraj
03/21/02 at 23:24:04
ok so based on what Jannah and Kathy said, I have a question for you both Please?

If you want to cover the gray, not tint, and you don't want a lot of redish shades, what do you do?    :(

I thought there was a thread on the old boards about permante color not being ok???

What is this henna thing all about?
Re: Coloring your Hair
Kathy
03/21/02 at 23:28:49
[slm]

8)ahem... are you implying that I have grey hair? [i] i once thought jannah was old too...[/i]

;DLoreal Preference works well for me....[i]( said kathy- not describing her hair)[/i]

:-)About the permanant color- we never did get an answer....a scholarly one...
Re: Coloring your Hair
sunset
03/22/02 at 00:07:08
[slm]

I have colored my hair twice...firstly with Clairol (I think it was medium light brown) and the other with henna.

From my personal experience, Clairol gave even color on my black hair :) but henna doesnt give even color...I colored my hair at a saloon. I asked the owner if I could get even color if use henna . She told henna will never give me even color no matter how long I put it on..if I want an even hair color  I should use coloring like Clairol for eg.

Henna powder can be found from Indian/pakistani shop since its widely used in wedding ceremonies by them. I tried to color my hair at home using henna powder which mixed with water but the result was almost nothing ;D most probably of my black hair.

I think coloring is not so good for hair cause I notice my hair became dry and not as soft as before since it was colored. The saloon owner also told that once you colored your hair, you have to give extra protection to your hair cause it can easily be damaged :( Lately I have been trying to soften my hair with olive oil and it does help.

I dont know if any sisters out there face the same problem with hair coloring.

:-)


:-* ;)Re: Coloring your Hair
Mehak
03/22/02 at 09:51:22
[slm],
  Okay,I got a question too:I have like really dark black hair MaashaAllah and I jsut love the color,but I wanna try putting temporary highlights in it (my mom doesnt like coloring so it has to be temporary ;) ).So,how do u guys think I should go about it. I would like to do my own hair,although I have never done it before 8) but ofcourse there is always a first time for everthing  ;) .SO,waht do u guys say ,whats a good product and the best way to use it??
 ALso,Cara, Henna is a VERY safe way of coloring hair.I used to apply henna every year and since my hair is so dark,I would get a beautiful red tint but not very noticeable. But its a pain to wash it out of ur hair :) It takes normally 3-4 shampoos to finally get rid of the powder and the smell.But I love it so I highly recommend it   :-*
[wlm]
 
Re: Coloring your Hair
Caraj
03/22/02 at 10:49:40
[quote author=Kathy link=board=sis;num=1016765442;start=0#5 date=03/21/02 at 23:28:49] [slm]

8)ahem... are you implying that I have grey hair? [i] i once thought jannah was old too...[/i]

;DLoreal Preference works well for me....[i]( said kathy- not describing her hair)[/i]

:-)About the permanant color- we never did get an answer....a scholarly one...[/quote]

Cara>>>>>>> wonders how she can back peddle out of this one  ;D

OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO  Kathy    :o  I would neeeever  imply you have grey  hair    ;D     :D

Actually cause you and Jannah offered some imput I just assumed you may have learned from an 'OLD' friend or elderly relative  

Cara's innocent look >>>>>    :)

shhhhhhhhhhhhhwwwwwww   ::)   (hope I got out of that one)

03/22/02 at 10:54:49
Caraj
Re: Coloring your Hair
Barraa
03/22/02 at 11:57:31
i have coloured my hair red. i used clairol, herbal essences.
it doesn't damage your hair and my hair is the light damage quickly kind so i think that clairol is fine. my hair is almost black and now its soo red
Re: Coloring your Hair
Ayla_A
03/22/02 at 18:57:08
[slm]

I too am a huge fan of Feria, :-X but it is permanent hair color  :'(.....I have been dying my hair for so long that I didn't realize how many gray hair I had until it has now been about 7 weeks, and  :owow, :o there is alot of those shiny hair strands in my head now:)

It is very very important when dying your hair that you only go two shades lighter/darker than your natural color.  Otherwise your roots will look awful when it starts to grow out  ::)

Also henna is not very good for "white" people hair....it tends to cause it to be very dry and brittle afterwards.  Also be very careful if you henna your hair that you get absolutely no kinds of treatments done to your hair until it has grown out (ie perms, coloring semi or permanent)  This is mucho important!!!!!  It even says on the boxes of dye it will tell you that.  Henna leaves a metallic coating on the hair which reacts with the perm/coloring solutions :o

[wlm]
:-) Ayla_A  :-)
Re: Coloring your Hair
Ruqayyah
03/22/02 at 20:08:06
[slm]

Yea, i might have forgotten to say that i'm looking for something temporary, just in case i end up not liking it. :P
I'll try asking my roomie too when i go back to school, she dyed her hair and it looks great  :-* I don't want to do henna, because I don't really want my hair to be [glow=red,2,300]red[/glow]. I'm thinking of going a shade or 2 lighter, so something dark brown.

[wlm]
Ruqayyah
03/22/02 at 20:10:48
Ruqayyah
Re: Coloring your Hair
Kathy
03/23/02 at 10:24:06
[quote author=Caraj link=board=sis;num=1016765442;start=0#8 date=03/22/02 at 10:49:40]
Actually cause you and Jannah offered some imput I just assumed you may have learned from an 'OLD' friend or elderly relative  
Cara's innocent look >>>>>    :)
[/quote]

Nice Save..... wonder if jannah bought it?

You are right, I learned by experience!
Re: Coloring your Hair
se7en
03/23/02 at 13:14:58
as salaamu alaykum,

one suggestion I can give you is to put vaseline *all* around your hairline.. forehead, ears, back of the neck, etc.. otherwise the the skin in these areas will get dyed also, and you'll look sort of freakish.. (not that I would know anything about this ;))

wasalaam :-)
Re: Coloring your Hair
Laila
03/23/02 at 16:25:57
  [slm]
   Could someone clarify for me why we can color our hair, yet wearing of wigs or hairpieces/weaves is prohibited? I can remove the gray every few weeks, but not the thinning area?
  [wlm]  :-) Laila
Re: Coloring your Hair
Lovin_Niqaab
03/25/02 at 20:41:47
:-* [slm]

:-/  
Here are some tips:

Want to get rid of gray hair without actually changing hair color? Find a permenant hair dye that is VERY close to your hair color, if not the same shade and only dye the areas that have white hair. It works well if you pick a very close color to your natural hair color. If your not sure, do a test strand by dyeing a piece of hair from somewhere that the hair can't be seen from. Like the color? Then go for it...
:-*

Highlighting Hair: Do not use the commercial highlighters as they come in very limited colors and since you have very black hair (mashallah) the colors on the market wouldn't work with you. So buy a Temprary hair dye in a color the you like and do a test strand to make sure you like the color and then pull out strands from your hair that you want highlighted. Hold back the rest, cover the strands in dye, leave it in for the prescribed time, wash out, and voila!! Inshallah beautiful highlights....   8)

Now I have a question:
I have mid-back length hair. It's curly, and nothing near straight, which I wish it was but Alhamdulillah anyway. I usually rap it up in a bun and leave it at that. I need a NEW hairstyle. Any ideas anyone????

Re: Coloring your Hair
M.F.
03/26/02 at 08:12:44
Bismillah
[slm]
If I may, I'd like to
1- reply to a question
2- make a remark

1- the question being: why are we allowed to dye hair and not wear wigs: because we not only were NOT prohibited from dying hair, but the sahaba and rasulullah  [saw] actually used to dye their hair and bears with henna or other plants.  The only restriction was using black dye, which, wallahu a'lam, is for the same reason as wearing wigs is not allowed: it's deceitful and makes people thing you're younger than you really are (this goes for ppl with black hair). Allahu a'lam but maybe the restriction is on using dye the same color as your hair to completely hide the fact that you have white hair.  With henna and other dyes, you can still tell.

2- I'm a little perturbed by some of the sisters describing their hair... if you wear hijab I wouldn't recommend it even though nobody knows you.

Wow I sound really serious don't I?
lemme liven this up a little  :-*  :-*  :-*  :D :D :D  ;)
Re: Coloring your Hair
Kathy
03/26/02 at 08:40:58
[slm]

::)Back in my glamour type magazine days I came across an article about black hair dye.

:oThe article warned women not to use black dye because it contained certain chemicals that were harmful that are not present in other hair color dyes.

:oWomen who used black hair dye for 20 years had 4x higher than normal chance of dying from multiple myeloma cancer. [i]( for you young'ins- if a woman started dying her hair in the 30's, she would only be 50 when this may begin)[/i]It was in Working Mother 8/1994.


:(In another article that I saved- [i] l(looks like a cosmo)[/i] They go into other depths- saying that beauticians also get non-hodgkin's lymphoma cancer as well as the women wearing the dyes.

:-[I remember thinking of the hadith and clipped these articles.

:-)
03/26/02 at 09:19:35
Kathy
Re: Coloring your Hair
zomorrud
03/26/02 at 22:43:57
assalamu alaikum,

i am of the view that natural looks best! really, your natural  hair colour is probably the best for your complexion and you'd find that you only need to take good care of it by eating well and trimming it every once and a while.
 
if you're really really looking for a change, go for some foil highlights.  there is a girl at my work who was obviously bored for a while- at a monthly rate she would change her hair highlights, from blue, to green, to gold on her ink black hair  :D

for those going grey, i would just use a dye that closely matches natural hair colour.  

 
Re: Coloring your Hair
M.F.
03/27/02 at 06:31:39
[quote author=Kathy link=board=sis;num=1016765442;start=15#17 date=03/26/02 at 08:40:58] [slm]


:oWomen who used black hair dye for 20 years had 4x higher than normal chance of dying from multiple myeloma cancer. [i]( for you young'ins- if a woman started dyinc her hair in the 30's, she would only be 50 when this may begin)[/i]It was in Working Mother 8/1994.
[/quote]

Wow!!!!!! :o  :o
Subhan Allah!!!!!

Re: Coloring your Hair
Laila
03/27/02 at 11:38:56
  [slm]
  If we cannot dye the hair to change [glow=red,2,300]colors[/glow]OR hide the gray, then what is the purpose of coloring at all ???
I need another decaf diet  [] ::)
   [wlm]  :-) Laila
03/27/02 at 11:40:47
Laila
Re: Coloring your Hair
Mehak
03/30/02 at 15:05:49
[slm],
 I thought I would keep u guys posted on my hair-coloring plans. :-*
Well,I am ofcourse not going for permanent but perhaps the Level one stuff which stays on for like 6-12 shampoos. Also,I talked this friend of mine and her teenage daugter into it too. ;D
 Today we are going to buy the color InshaAllah and then do it tomorrow. If I decide to do the whole hair thing, might go for burgundy ,or reddish shade .Else,if i think I want to do higlights only,I think I will go for a lighter brown maybe. I dunno,I have never done it before and jsut had to share it with eveyone since I have never done it before. :-)
[wlm]
Re: Coloring your Hair
Ruqayyah
03/31/02 at 13:20:03
[slm]

Thanks Mehak for keeping us updated! Inshallah i'm going to try dying my hair soon too. I went to the store and did some research and found a couple dyes that i think might work. I was looking at the Level 2 Permanent dyes by L'oreal and Clairol. Those had some dyes for
black hair-->brown hair   ;)  

Another idea i heard that sounded neat was if you use blond highlights in dark hair, and then dye your whole head a dark brown, the highlights themselves become a little darker, and look nice w/ the dark brown.  I don't think i'm that adventurous yet  ;D

[wlm]

Ruqayyah
03/31/02 at 13:21:10
Ruqayyah
Re: Coloring your Hair
Madinat
03/31/02 at 18:37:37
[slm]
i'm 20, and i just found my first gray hair.  if this trend continues, and it is not permissible to dye the hair black, am i to just live with the gray hair then?  i feel i am too young to have a lot of it, but if it stays unnoticable, then it will be no problem for me.  thoughts?
[wlm]
Re: Coloring your Hair
Kathy
03/31/02 at 23:15:24
[slm]
You can always dye it dark brown.

:-)
Re: Coloring your Hair
Mehak
03/31/02 at 23:22:41
[slm],
 Ok sisters!!!!!!!! ;D I actually dyed my hair using Clairol Level 2 &qukt;Egyptian Plum". Its like a burgundy color. If u have dark hair like I do ,its not really noticeable unless u r in sunlight or at a distance from the observer. But I think it worked out pretty good Alhamdulillah. :-*
  Ruqqayah,do let us know how it goes for u,InshaALlah. :-)
[wlm]
Re: Coloring your Hair
Anonymous
04/15/02 at 03:05:19
asalam aleikum. i am thinking about getting my hair straightened for a change.
i've heard that perms can be damaging and that your hair will never go back to its
original texture. what do you all know from experience?

so yes. like, so urgent.
Re: Coloring your Hair
Dawn
04/15/02 at 04:39:52
[quote author=Anonymous link=board=sis;num=1016765442;start=15#26 date=04/15/02 at 03:05:19]i've heard that perms can be damaging and that your hair will never go back to its original texture. what do you all know from experience? [/quote]
Well, from my experience, perms can be damaging, after all, you are adding chemicals to your hair which are designed to change its shape.  But as my perms grow out, the new growth is always the original texture.  So, if I want to get wavy hair again (mine is really straight) I need another perm.  To handle the damage, which is split ends in my case, I just get regular trims (every four weeks or so) and use a fairly rich conditioner.  That prevents the damage for me.  Oh, and I don't perm again until the old perm is [i]completely[/i] grown out.  I did that once, and the damage was really bad -- hair breaking all over the place.  

Hope this helps!
Re: Coloring your Hair
Shahida
04/16/02 at 07:12:06
[slm]

Lemme just please interrupt here for some clarification:

so, its OK/Halaal to dye your hair, as long as you dont dye it black?  This goes for women who are single, married, etc?  Just want to know cuz one sheikh kinda made the distinction between married women and unmarried sisters, saying that the unmarried ones should not change their hair colour, cuz when a brother comes to propose, we should not "cheat" him into thinking our hair is light brown, when we have naturally black hair...or something like that...what do you think?

a sis asked me yesterday about another "colour change" issue...does anyone know what the ruling is about wearing different colour contact lenses?  

jazakumAllahu khairun
Salam
Shahida
Re: Coloring your Hair
Kathy
04/16/02 at 08:41:06
[quote author=Shahida link=board=sis;num=1016765442;start=15#28 date=04/16/02 at 07:12:06] [cuz one sheikh kinda made the distinction between married women and unmarried sisters, saying that the unmarried ones should not change their hair colour, cuz when a brother comes to propose, we should not "cheat" him into thinking our hair is light brown, when we have naturally black hair...
jazakumAllahu khairun
[/quote]

hmmm.  re ask the sheikh because a brother would not get to look at her hair before marriage.  From what I have heard - they guys check out the girl's eyebrow to get a guess at the color of hair.
Re: Coloring your Hair
Shahida
04/16/02 at 09:25:35
[slm]

[quote author=Kathy link=board=sis;num=1016765442;start=15#29 date=04/16/02 at 08:41:06]

hmmm.  re ask the sheikh because a brother would not get to look at her hair before marriage.  From what I have heard - they guys check out the girl's eyebrow to get a guess at the color of hair.
[/quote]

Kathy, there are some men who want to see a girl without hijaab (as she normally appears before her mahram male family) before marriage.  This is apparently allowed under the whole "seeing what you like of her that would cause you to like her"...sorry about the bad wording of the implied Hadith...

I will check with the Sheikh...thanks:)

Wasalaam
Shahida
Re: Coloring your Hair
Kathy
04/16/02 at 15:15:42
[slm]

wow. Never heard of that hadith. (doesn't mean it doesn't exist)
When you find it will you post it please?

I wonder what my reply would have been if a perspective husband would have asked me to unveil my hair just so he could approve of it- or not!

Re: Coloring your Hair
se7en
04/16/02 at 15:54:42
[quote]I wonder what my reply would have been if a perspective husband would have asked me to unveil my hair just so he could approve of it- or not! [/quote]

"hope the door doesn't hit you on the way out bro"   ::)
04/16/02 at 16:21:12
se7en
Re: Coloring your Hair
Kathy
04/16/02 at 20:26:28
[slm]

LOL- you know me too well....

Of course I would have said this after I got up off the floor....
Re: Coloring your Hair
Barr
04/17/02 at 01:23:52
I've heard about the above opinion; that a brother can see his prospective wife's hair. Read it somewhere in one of those munakahat books (Fiqh on Marriage).

Interestingly, it happened once to a sister. But the brother was really smart and respectful when he asked her.  

He asked her about the opinion, and said smt along the lines of, [color=red]would you consider it inappropriate if a potential husband asked you of such?[/color]

I wonder what Kathy's answer would be, now ;)

Wassalam

04/17/02 at 01:25:58
Barr
Re: Coloring your Hair
Jenna
04/17/02 at 03:15:17
Wa'alaikum Assalaam wa Rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
~~~~~~
Question:

I am engaged to man who i attend to marry in acouple months inshallah. whenever my fiance comes to my house for dinner my parents tell me not to wear my jilbab in front of him, and ot wear normal loose fitting clohtes, because there is nothing wrong with him seeing me without my jilbab because there is intention for marriage. I would like to know, if this is allowed, or am i not suppose to take my jilbab off?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

So long as the nikaah (marriage contract) has not yet taken place, this man is still a “stranger” to you, and you should observe hijaab with him (i.e., wear proper hijaab and avoid contact) just as you would in the case of any other man. He has no right to look at you beyond the look that is allowed by sharee’ah at the time of making a marriage proposal, beyond which no further look is permitted until the nikaah is completed. What you father has told you about it being OK for you to relax the rules of hijaab in front of your fiancé is not correct, and there should be no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator. The mere intention of marriage does not justify uncovering in front of him. And Allaah knows best.
http://63.175.194.25/index.php?formtrans=dgn%3D3%7C&ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=2246
~~~~~~
Here is a more extensive answer InshaAllah:

http://63.175.194.25/index.php?formtrans=dgn%3D3%7C&ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=2572&x=3&y=10
~~~~
Hope this helps InshaAllah
Your Sis n' Islaam
Jenna UmmMuffin  :-)
Re: Coloring your Hair
jannah
04/17/02 at 04:26:36
I have heard from scholars that there is a minority opinion that allows the showing of hair, just so ppl know.. and Allah knows best.
04/17/02 at 04:27:04
jannah
Re: Coloring your Hair
Shahida
04/17/02 at 06:47:24
[slm]

Lol, Se7en, that would probably have been my answer too!  ;)  I do not approve of this practice (personal opinion), but it happens a lot where I come from. My fear is that if we don't end up getting married, then a man somewhere out there knows how I look, and that's just plain scary! Most of my friends have had to take off their hijaab for the man who was proposing marriage.  This is done only once though, thereafter they appear normally (hijaabed) in front of him until after the Nikaah...(kinda defeating the purpose??) but like I said, I would seriously reconsider him after he asked *such* a question... >:(  I mean, thats just about one of the most personal things for a girl, ya know?

I researched this quite a bit a while ago, because I was *not* comfortable with the issue, and found something written by Dr Yousuf al-Qardawi.  I searched for it again just now, and that page is no longer on the internet.

I think I still have a printed copy of it at home, so I will look for it and post what I find here, inshaAllah.

JazakumAllahu khairun to all of you :)

Wasalaam
Shahida
Re: Coloring your Hair
Kathy
04/17/02 at 08:28:32
[quote author=Barr link=board=sis;num=1016765442;start=30#34 date=04/17/02 at 01:23:52]
He asked her about the opinion, and said smt along the lines of, [color=red]would you consider it inappropriate if a potential husband asked you of such?[/color]

I wonder what Kathy's answer would be, now [/quote]

[slm]

I would ask him if he would let the next three men who were interested in marrying his sister- see her hair.

Is there any part of the man's awrah that a woman can check out to make sure it will please her?

I would also be concerned as to why the brother finds this to be so important.  Does he think he can not be a good husband if my hair is brown instead of black?

Yeah- Jannah, I too have read that some say it is ok- I just can't remember where.
Re: Coloring your Hair
Barr
04/18/02 at 06:33:20
Assalamu'alaikum :-)

Ok.. some may find my views a bit radical here...  :-*

If I'm a  ;-) , I'd probably ask the same question as quoted in my previous post. Not because I want to see the sister's  hair, but I think this is a good conversation starter to many other sub-topics.

First, I can get to see her initial response to a *shocking* question. How does she react in such circumstances?

If she is annoyed, then how does she control her anger... bearing in mind that I asked the question respectfully though in a "testing-the-water" manner, and there *is* such an opinion, albeit, a minority one.


Would she jump to the conclusion on the "type" of brother I am (eg. sleezy and shallow)? Or, would she look beyond the question and my manner of asking?

How does she deal with differences of opinions?

How does she feel about the hijab? What does the hijab mean to her?

And many, many more.

Non-verbal behaviours speak louder than verbal ones.. and though I think I may risk excommunication, but I think a lot can be revealed with a 'lil "controversial" question, respectfully and intelligently asked, of course. And certainly in-person and not over the internet.

Allahua'lam :-)

Oh yes! Back to the thread.. I've tried L'oreal Excellence for the past years and just yesterday, I tried Ganier Natea (I dye about once a year only). I think it has a  pretty iuch the same effect, except that the latter has a slighly stronger effect on Asian hair, coz it's specially formulated for Asian hair. Plus, it's got a fruity smell, not a horrible ammonium one.

I'll be testing another brand in 6 months time or next year, inshaAllah. Scouting around for something that works best, inshaAllah.

Wassalam :-)
04/18/02 at 06:39:23
Barr
Re: Coloring your Hair
Shahida
04/19/02 at 06:51:15
[slm]

I found the article by Sheikh Yousuf Al Qardawi about this issue.  It is, I believe, from his book "Halaal and Haraam in Islam".

Seeing the Woman to whom one proposes Marriage

It is permissible for a Muslim man to see the woman to whom he intends to propose marriage before taking further steps so that he can enter into the marriage knowing what is ahead of him.  Otherwise, if he has not seen her before marriage, he may not find her looks to his liking and may have regrets after he is married to her.

The eye is the messenger of the heart; when the eyes meet, the hearts and souls of man and woman may meet as well.  Muslim reported Abu Hurairah as saying that a man came to the Prophet (s.a.w) and told him that he had contracted to marry a woman of the Ansar.  “Did you look at her?” the Prophet (s.a.w) asked.  “No,” he said, “Then go and look at her”, said the Prophet (s.a.w), “for the is something in the eyes of the Ansar,” meaning that some of them have a defect of their eyes.

Al-Mughira ibn Shu’bah said, I asked for a woman in marriage and Allah’s Messenger (s.a.w) asked me whether I had looked at her.  When I replied that I had not, he said “Then look at her, for it may produce love between you.”  I went to her parents and informed them of the Prophet’s (s.a.w) advice.  They seemed to disapprove of the idea.  Their daughter heard the conversation from her room and said “If the Prophet (s.a.w) has told you to look at me, then look.”  I looked at her and subsequently I married her.  (reported by Ahmad, Tirmidhi, ibn Majah, Ibn Hibban, and Darimi)

The Prophet (s.a.w) did not specify either to Mughira or to the other man how much of the woman they were permitted to see.  Some scholars are of the opinion that looking is limited to seeing the face and hands.  However, it is permissible for anyone to see face and hands as long as no desire is involved; therefore, if asking for a woman is an exemption, obviously the man making the proposal should be able to see much more of the woman than that.  The Prophet (s.a.w) said, “ When one of you asks for a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so.” (reported by Abu Daoud)

Some scholars have gone to one extreme or another in relation to this permission, but the best course seems to be the middles one.  One researcher considers it quite appropriate in our time that the man who is proposing be allowed to see the woman as she normally appears before her father, brother, and other muharramah.  He says: in the context of the above Hadith, he may even accompany her, together with her father or some other mahrem as chaperone, on her usual visits to relatives or to public places, while clad in full hijab (Hijab denotes the proper Islamic dress).  In this way he will have the opportunity to get an insight into her reasoning, behaviour and personality.  This is part of the meaning of the Hadith, :…to look at what will induce him to marry her”. (Al-Bahee al-Khooly, Al-Mar’ah Bain al-bayn al-bayt wal-Mujtamah)

If the man’s intention of marriage is sincere, he is permitted to see the woman with or without her and her family’s knowledge.  Jarir ibn ‘Abdullah said concerning his wife, “(Before marriage) I used to hide under a tree to see her.”

From the Hadith concerning al-Mughira we understand that the father of the girl cannot, out of deference to custom and tradition, prevent a suitor who is in earnest from seeing her, for customs and traditions must be governed by the Shariah.  How is it possible that the Divine Law be subjected to the whims of human beings?  On the other hand, however, neither the father, the suitor, or the fiancée can stretch this permission to such an extent that the young man and woman, under the pretext of betrothal or engagement, go to movie heaters, clubs, and shopping places together without being accompanied by a mahram of hers, a practice which has become common today among Muslims who are fond of imitation Western civilization and its customs.

.....
[slm]
Shahida


Re: Coloring your Hair
Kathy
04/19/02 at 08:43:38
[slm]

Thanks for the article Shahida

[quote]One [u]researcher[/u] considers it quite appropriate in our time that the man who is proposing be allowed to see the woman as she normally appears before her father, brother, and other muharramah.  [/quote]

In regard to this article - was  there any reference to whom the reseacher was?
Re: Coloring your Hair
Aneesa_A.
04/19/02 at 09:05:34
[slm]

I've never really used hair dye, my mum doesnt want me to dye it coz of the chemicals in the dye. I do use henna on a regular basis and it gives a really nice maroon colour. Some of you have said that no change in colour was visible, but it also depends on what you put into the henna mixture. Coffee & boiled beetroot juice tends to give a very nice colour, you should also add in yogurt...and  basically anything else from the fridge  ;D

Mostly all hairdyes have ammonia in them, anyone know of those that dont and are rather *safe*? Maybe then i could convince mummy... :-*

[wlm]
:-)
Re: Coloring your Hair
Ruqayyah
04/19/02 at 15:18:32
[slm]

So i finally tried coloring my hair, i think used l'oreal casting color spa or something like that and i tried the espresso  color. it was a level 2 non-permanent dye (it washes out in 24 shampoos). It didn't have ammonia in it either. Except it TOTALLY didn't even work! I was a little upset, so i called up the company asking what i should do, and they sent me a little $10 l'oreal gift certificate. so i'll prolly just give it to my parents to use, hehe  :D  

The lady said the only way to get my dark hair to go lighter is to use a permanent dye w/ ammonia in it. The ammonia is what bleaches it to be lighter, i believe.  The thing is, and this might sound silly, but i don't want to lose my natural color. Not like it's anything spectacular, but it's my very own special hair color, you know?  Sooo, i dunno what to do now.  I'm not sure if i should try henna, i wasn't really going for a red color, but does it even make a dent in darker hair?

[wlm]
Ruqayyah
Re: Coloring your Hair
Shahida
04/22/02 at 07:03:57
[quote author=Kathy link=board=sis;num=1016765442;start=30#41 date=04/19/02 at 08:43:38] [slm]

In regard to this article - was  there any reference to whom the reseacher was?
[/quote]
[slm]

Sorry Kathy, but that's all I had saved at home.  I know that I read many articles on this issue, but I can't find them anymore.  I do not unfortunately know who this "researcher" could be...

Wasalaam
Shahida
Re: Coloring your Hair
Anonymous
04/24/02 at 14:04:52
http://www.islamicwell.com/iqano2572.htm

              2572
              Limits of looking at one’s fiancée and the ruling on touching her and
              being alone with her. Is her permission a condition of being allowed
              to look at her?

              I read the hadiths about the prophet peace be upon him allowing the man
              to see the woman before deciding whether to marry her or not.  My questions
              is, what exactelly is the person allowed to see exactelly?

              Is he allowed to see her hair (entire head) ?

                                                                                          Praise be to
              Allaah.

                                                                                          Islam
              commands us to lower our
              gaze and forbids looking at non-mahram women.
                                                                                          This is in
              order to purify people’s
              souls and protect their honour. There are,
                                                                                          however,
              certain exceptions in
              which it is permissible to look at a non-mahram
                                                                                          woman for
              reasons of necessity,
              one of which is in the case of proposing marriage,
                                                                                          because it is
              the basis on which a
              very important decision affecting a person’s life
                                                                                          will be
              taken. There are texts
              which indicate that it is permissible to look at one’s
                                                                                          fiancée, as
              follows:

                                                                                                 1.From
              Jaabir ibn
              ‘Abd-Allaah: “The Messenger of Allaah  (peace and
                                                                                                       
              blessings of Allaah be
              upon him) said: ‘If one of you proposes marriage to a
                                                                                                       
              woman, if he can look at
              her to see that which will encourage him to go ahead
                                                                                                       
              and marry her, then let
              him do so.’ I proposed marriage to a young woman,
                                                                                                       
              and I used to hide where I
              could see her, until I saw that which encouraged me
                                                                                                       
              to go ahead and marry
              her, so I did so.’” According to another report he said,
                                                                                                       
              ‘a young woman of Bani
              Salamah. I used to hide from her, until I saw that
                                                                                                       
              which encouraged me to go
              ahead and marry her, so I did so.” (Saheeh Abi
                                                                                                       
              Dawood, no. 1832,
              1834)

                                                                                                 2.From
              Abu Hurayrah: “I was
              with the Prophet  (peace and blessings of
                                                                                                       
              Allaah be upon him) when
              a man came and told him that he had married a
                                                                                                       
              woman of the Ansaar. The
              Messenger of Allaah  (peace and blessings of
                                                                                                       
              Allaah be upon him) said
              to him, ‘Have you seen her?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said,
                                                                                                       
              ‘Go and look at her, for
              there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar.”
                                                                                                       
              (Reported by Muslim, no.
              1424; and by al-Daaraqutni, 3/253 (34))

                                                                                                 3.From
              al-Mugheerah ibn
              Shu’bah: “I proposed marriage to a woman, and the
                                                                                                       
              Messenger of Allaah  
              (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
                                                                                                       
              ‘Have you seen her?’ I
              said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Look at her, because it is more
                                                                                                       
              fitting that love and
              compatibility be established between you.’” According to
                                                                                                       
              another report: “So he did
              that, and he married her and mentioned that they
                                                                                                       
              got along.” (Reported by
              al-Daaraqutni, 3/252 (31, 32); Ibn Maajah, 1/574)

                                                                                                 4.From
              Sahl ibn Sa’d (may
              Allaah be pleased with him): “A woman came to the
                                                                                                       
              Messenger of Allaah  
              (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and
                                                                                                       
              said: “O Messenger of
              Allaah, I have come to give myself to you (in
                                                                                                       
              marriage).” The
              Messenger of Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be
                                                                                                       
              upon him) looked at her
              closely, then he lowered his head. When the woman
                                                                                                       
              saw that he had not made a
              decision about her, she sat down. One of his
                                                                                                       
              Companions stood up and
              said, O Messenger of Allaah, if you do not want her,
                                                                                                       
              then marry her to me…’”
              (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 7/19; Muslim, 4/143;
                                                                                                       
              al-Nisaa’i, 6/113 bi
              Sharh al-Suyooti; al-Bayhaqi, 7/84)

                                                                                          The sayings
              of the scholars on the
              extent to which one may look at one’s fiancée

                                                                                          Al-Shaafa’i
              (may Allaah have
              mercy on him) said: “If he wants to marry a woman, he
                                                                                          is not
              allowed to see her without a
              headcover. He may look at her face and hands
                                                                                          when she is
              covered, with or
              without her permission. Allaah says (interpretation of
                                                                                          the meaning):
              ‘… and not to show
              off their adornment except only that
                                                                                          which is
              apparent…’ [al-Noor                24:31]. He said: ‘The face and hands.’” (al-Haawi
                                                                                          al-Kabeer,
              9/34).

                                                                                          Imaam
              al-Nawawi said in Rawdat
              al-Taalibeen wa ‘Umdat al-Mufteen (7, 19-20):
                                                                                          “When (a man)
              wants to marry (a
              woman), it is preferable (mustahabb) for him to
                                                                                          look at her
              so that he will have no
              regrets. According to another view, it is not
                                                                                          preferable
              but it is allowed. The
              first view is correct because of the ahaadeeth, and
                                                                                          it is
              permitted to look repeatedly,
              with or without her permission. If it is not easy
                                                                                          to look at
              her, he may send a
              woman to check her out and describe her to him. A
                                                                                          woman may
              also look at a man if
              she wants to marry him, for she will like in him
                                                                                          what he likes
              in her. What is
              permissible for him to look at is the face and hands,
                                                                                          front and
              back. He should not look
              at anything else.”

                                                                                          Abu Haneefah
              permitted looking at
              the feet as well as the face and hands. (Bidaayah
                                                                                          al-Mujtahid
              wa Nihayyat
              al-Muqtasid, 3/10)

                                                                                          “It is
              permissible to look at the
              face, hands and feet, and no more than that.” Ibn
                                                                                          Rushd also
              quoted it as above.

                                                                                          Among the
              reports from the
              madhhab of Imaam Maalik:

                                                                                                 1.He
              may look at the face and
              hands only.

                                                                                                 2.He
              may look at the face,
              hands and forearms only.

                                                                                          A number of
              reports were
              narrated from Imaam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on
                                                                                          him), one of
              which says that he
              may look at the face and forearms.

                                                                                          The second
              says that he may look at
              what usually appears such as the neck, calves
                                                                                          and so on.

                                                                                          This was
              quoted by Ibn Qudaamah
              in al-Mughni (7/454), Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim
                                                                                          al-Jawziyyah
              in Tahdheeb
              al-Sunan (3/25-26), and al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar in Fath
                                                                                          al-Baari
         
       [continued at above url]


              From Sheikh al-Munnajjid www.islam-qa.com
Re: Coloring your Hair
muqaddar
04/24/02 at 14:17:54
[slm]

permanent hair dyes have cancer causing chemicals
Re: Coloring your Hair
Beth
04/24/02 at 14:26:55
So does tip-ex.  So does talcam powder (don't stop me, I'm on a roll here)
Re: Coloring your Hair
Anonymous
04/28/02 at 05:00:44
Salaam

tip-ex? who needs tip-ex!...i never make mistakes...cause i use a pc!
and what would i do with talcum powder?

it's muqaddar my login is naffed by the way


[Admin note: Muqaddar send jannah or bhaloo an email]
Re: Coloring your Hair
HaRiSa
04/30/02 at 18:52:14
:-X  ahh if i could give you just one piece of advice it would be

DONT COLOR YOUR HAIRRRRRRRRRRR lol

really its a big waste of time, money, and it damages your hair

i dont care what brand you use, they are all bad  ;)

ive dyed my hair like a gazillion times, had it every color u can imagine, seriously and now, im soooo regretting having it dyed red, because the red just wont get outttt

and now, im just letting my hair grow out so i can have my boring natural hair color back :)

i havent seen it in like 6 years so, yea i miss it lol

ok so, realhy, dont dye your hair, its just a bigggg waste

:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* la la la la la  [] dieeeeeeeeet pleaseeeeeee
Re: Coloring your Hair
muqaddar
05/01/02 at 12:16:38
[slm]

hmm do you know those orthodox yahoodi women
they shave their heads and wear wigs...!  :(
Re: Coloring your Hair
Anonymous
05/10/02 at 05:12:08
[slm]

Does anyone have any idea what happens if you color your hair on top of highlights??  I have red highlights on top of jet black hair which are now some kind of strange coppery color. I was thinking of going for a reddish home coloring kit. Will my highlights dissappear? or will they turn a weird color or just be darker/lighter than the rest?
Re: Coloring your Hair
Kathy
05/10/02 at 08:06:56
[quote author=muqaddar link=board=sis;num=1016765442;start=45#50 date=05/01/02 at 12:16:38] do you know those orthodox yahoodi women
they shave their heads and wear wigs...!  [/quote]

My understanding is that they shave their hair when they get married. So for their husbands they are bald.

Must be a religious reasoning for this? Anyone know?
Re: Coloring your Hair
eleanor
05/10/02 at 08:39:42
[slm]

there is a religious reasoning for it - nobody is allowed to see a single hair on their heads except their husbands. Because they don't want to wear a scarf, they want to wear wigs and appear "normal", and it's too hot/itchy to wear a wig on top of their hair, so they shave their heads...
I saw this on some TV magazine programme or other....

If I am wrong - please correct me!!!!!!!!!!!

wasalaam
eleanor  :-*


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