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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| Anonymous |
| 03/27/02 at 00:20:54 |
| salaam sisters I have recently got a proposal for marriage and the brother seems perfect in every way mashallah but I do not feel very attracted to him. I feel sooooo bad and guilty and keep telling myself that I will grow to 'fancy' him. What do i do???? |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| M.F. |
| 03/27/02 at 06:35:57 |
| You're not attracted, that might not be a problem. It might take a little more than a look or two to get you attracted to him wallahu a'lam. If he seems perfect in every other way, then pray Istikhara and also ask Allah to put attraction in you heart for him. If however there's something about him that repulses you or disgusts you... well... there's not much you can do about that. But pray istikhara anyway. You wouldn't want to miss out on having a wonderful husband just because initially you didn't feel attracted. just my 2 cnts worth :) wassalam mariam |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| mujaahid |
| 03/27/02 at 07:15:32 |
| [slm] Sister you not being attracted to him not good. But dont feel bad about, its not something you can really control or choose. If you are not attracted to him, then i would advise not to marry him. Because everytime you see someone attractive, it will always divert your attention from your husband, they will always divert your attention away. The husband may be great, but if you are not attracted to him, then its gona be a problem, because attaractive men will always catch your eye. Attraction is a big thing in marriage. Sister, dont "try" and find him attractive, dont make yourself try and feel something you dont!! Your either attracted to him or not. But dont force yourself to feel something you dont. |
| 03/27/02 at 07:17:48 |
| mujaahid |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| Laila |
| 03/27/02 at 11:30:23 |
| [slm] ;-)-- There is a bit of difference in not feeling "attracted" to a person that is not related to them [u]being[/u] attractive. A "pretty/handsome" person is not always someone you want to associate with, let alone marry, no matter how "otherwise perfect" they may seem. If the :-)'s guardian has checked the ;-) out thoroughly and can find no moral fault that would cause problems later in a marriage, and it's not his physical appearance that has her worried, I would tend to say go ahead with the proposal. As we age, our looks change anyway, male and female, so basing a marriage on looks as the major criteria makes one awfully shallow( my humble opinion). [wlm] :-) Laila |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| Aneesa_A. |
| 03/28/02 at 04:47:53 |
| [slm] I agree with what sis Laila says. You say that you think he's perfect in every way, the only think lacking, you think is physical attraction from your side. Sis, i can understand that, but you see, since you say hes such a good person, that could be the very thing that will you will be attracted to over time. As human beings, when we meet people for the first time, since we dont know anything about them, we judge them solely on the basis of looks/dress sense etc, which in reality are not as important as the person within. But over time, once we get to know the person, we see them differently. Its like, i may see a very nice looking guy, but after knowing him for a while, he may turn out to be a really bad person, and that in turn, would lead me to think that he doesnt look so good after all and vice versa. Basically, i'm just saying that as time goes by, and you get to know him a bit better, you will be attracted to him because of the good person he is within...and you already say he's perfect in every way! :) In the end, its all in Allah's hands, marriages are pre-destined. So it may be a good idea to do an Isthikara before making a decision. This is my opinion..... :-* Good luck with everything! [wlm] |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| imran |
| 03/28/02 at 05:46:06 |
| [slm] Subhanallah, I don't doubt that looks are very important when deciding on a partner but at the same time I disagree that they should be the decisive factor for accepting or declining a proposal. Looks are very superficial and so it should really be the substance of a person underneath that should count. Allah[swt] is judging us on our piety and taqwa and if the Majestic is using this as his criteria I think our humble selves should think very hard if we are going to start making important decisions based on what the person looks like. Narrated Abu Huraira: The prophet said "A woman is married for 4 things, i.e her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be losers" Bukhari(Vol 7: Book 62: Number 27) and remember: Narrated Abdullah bin Umar I heard Allah's Apostle saying, "People are just like camels, out of one hundred, one can hardly find a single camel suitable to ride." Bukhari(Vol 8: Book 76: Number 505) I wish you the best in making your decision with hikmat inshallah. [wlm] Imran ;-) |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| eleanor |
| 03/28/02 at 06:10:22 |
| [quote author=Qurat-Ul-Ain link=board=sis;num=1017206454;start=0#4 date=03/28/02 at 04:47:53] As human beings, when we meet people for the first time, since we dont know anything about them, we judge them solely on the basis of looks/dress sense etc, which in reality are not as important as the person within. But over time, once we get to know the person, we see them differently. [/quote] I couldn't agree more. In my own case I have been married for over 5 years now and I don't even really *see* my husband anymore. I see what is within. So when he remarks on how his hair is thinning or how he has put on weight, I really have to take a step back and look at him completely objectively before I even really notice these things. However that was something that happened with time. Have you made Istikhara to see if you get an answer either way from Allah? Because sometimes, we don't realise what is the best step to take in life and it's only years later that we look back and smile and say "Alhamdulillah" :) wasalaam eleanor :-* |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| mujaahid |
| 03/28/02 at 09:23:58 |
| [slm] Sisters i think your giving this sister bad advice!!! You keep referring to "MAYBE" you'll grow attracted to him. Is that good advice? What if she don't grow attracted to him? I know this bro has good character etc, but attraction is a big thing in marriage, especially early on, and i feel it would be a mistake if she married someone she isnt attracted to. Eleanor, you said you know dont even notice your husbands growing weight, or thinning hair, but you admit its taken you 5 years to get to this stage! Which means you did find him attractive at first didnt you :D So its only right that this sister marries someone she finds attracive! If she dont, then she is not gona be a very happy sister. Other men will catch her eye. |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| eleanor |
| 03/28/02 at 09:35:03 |
| [quote author=mujaahid link=board=sis;num=1017206454;start=0#7 date=03/28/02 at 09:23:58] Eleanor, you said you know dont even notice your husbands growing weight, or thinning hair, but you admit its taken you 5 years to get to this stage! Which means you did find him attractive at first didnt you :D [/quote] When did I say I didn't??? wasalaam eleanor :-* |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| mujaahid |
| 03/28/02 at 09:51:03 |
| [slm] Eleanor i didnt say you said you didnt find him attractive, but thats my point, you DID find him attractive when you first married! But this sister does not find this brother attractive!! Eleanor was your atttraction to your husband a big thing to you when you first met him? |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| Kashif |
| 03/28/02 at 10:22:50 |
| assalaamu alaikum mujaahid, stop being a bully and trying to make everyone adopt your position. You are the only one who is saying that looks are a MAJOR factor in spouse choice... well thats your opinion and you're entitled to it, but everyone who differs is holding an equally valid opinion. btw. I agree with Eleanor. Kashif Wa Salaan |
| NS |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| M.F. |
| 03/28/02 at 10:33:13 |
| Assalamu alaikum Ok to be honest I think there's way too much hype about this attraction thing. If there's nothing that repulses you about someone, then indeed you're most likely to grow attracted to them or at least to accept them. Whether or not you're attracted to someone shouldn't be a reason to turn down someone who's otherwise perfect. Sister, do you actually find him ugly, or do you just not feel that "spark". If it's the spark thing, I can say it's probably just as well you don't since you're not married, and don't forget that for women, it takes more than looking at someone to feel the spark. You'll see after you get married :) Mujaahid, almost all the sisters suggested to pray istikhaara, and that's the best advice they could give. Also, don't forget, we're all sisters addressing a sister, and you're a brother, and attraction is viewed differently by bros and sisters... just to put things into perspective a little :-) |
| 03/28/02 at 10:35:30 |
| M.F. |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| Aneesa_A. |
| 03/28/02 at 10:33:24 |
| [slm] Mujaahid, its obvious to everyone that looks to you are extremely important, but there are lots of people out there that consider the person within to be more important. Looks can diminish, people can have their face fractured, burned etc. then what would you look at? THEN, it would only be the person she is that would attract you to her? Its obvious youve never known of a person that wasnt so nice looking, but just the person that he/she was made them pleasant to look at. I've known SO many people like this, and many would look at these people and wonder what it is i find attractive about them....but its their mind & heart that makes them so beautiful. [wlm] |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| imran |
| 03/28/02 at 11:04:00 |
| [slm] I think it is very wrong for Mujahid to be thinking that just because someone is not as attractive as you wanted them to be, there becomes an open risk for zina post nikkah. The discussion is about deciding to accept the choice, once the choice has been made then it is ridiculous to suggest that a pious sister will not protect her gaze and her husband. [wlm] Imran ;-) |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| pakiprncess |
| 03/28/02 at 17:57:10 |
| anonymous sis -- if you think about it, you have come to fancy him to a certain degree...i mean, you said yourself that he is perfect in every way...is there anything about him you find UNattractive? because, as has been said, unless there is something you don't like about him, i believe you will come to like him over time...seems like a part of human nature, in my experience. then again, i agree with bro mujaahid, that there is no pressure nor rush. if you feel like 'why am i agreeing to this?' or even 'im just doing this because i feel guilty,' then dont do it! you have a right to your opinion; this is your future we're talking about...plus, hes not the only one out there, ya know. give him a chance, but more importantly, give yourself a chance. i think the best advice given so far was by qurat-ul-ain...istikhara for the confused at heart :) |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| AMOORA |
| 03/29/02 at 03:37:53 |
| [slm] :-* Reading this post, I couldn't help but notice that attraction was described in only one way, (based on physical appearance). However correct me if I am wrong, I believe attraction comes from othr various ways than just appearance. Definitley the number one trait is a person't personality Manners, etc. I only point this out from experience, I have seen this happen with a lot of people, including myself. Therefore, I just wanted to point out that attraction shouldn't be clusterd under one definition because it is not. :-* [wlm] :-) |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| mujaahid |
| 03/29/02 at 05:13:33 |
| [slm] Stop picking on me guys, i'm only being honest, not coming out with hero talk, maybe the rest should do the same. All this stuff about attractive may grow, it may grow, what are you talking about? If you dont feel an attraction then why are you gona marry this person? Because someone said "you MAY grow to find him attractive". But you dont at the moment, so what makes you think that is gona change? Speaking from personal experience, sisters often give REALLY bad advice, based on Hero nonsense. Follow your gut feeling sister, thats the only things to do. If you feel uneasy for some reason, dont go ahead with it, no matter how much people try and push you towards it, which is what everyone here is doing. TO EVERYONE, you guys are pushing this sister, your basically saying go on, go for it, you may grow to find him attracitve, pushy pushy! ANONYMOUS It all boils down to this, follow your gut feeling. If you feel uneasy or uncomfortable, than do not go ahead with it. But do not make the mistake of allowing others to convince you into doing something you are not sure of. Their will be people you meet where you dont feel suitable, dont feel an attraction, be it physical or personality wise. Their will be others you meet where you *will* feel an attraction, both physical and personality. What you dont wanna do is allow people to convince you to make the decision, based on thier opinion. If you dont feel an attraction to this brother, how can you feel happy about going ahead and marrying him? P.s. i am not a Bully Kashief, i just dont like hero advice, especially when it comes to giving advice on marriage, because the hero advice is usually BAD advice. |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| Kashif |
| 03/29/02 at 05:53:03 |
| wa alaikum us-salaam I'm definitely with you when you say that sister's can slide into giving 'hero advice' (but only *rarely* on this board), and in this case i think they've made excellent points, and you ARE placing too much emphasis on physical attractiveness. Remember the advice of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam who listed four reasons for why people marry another: religion, wealth, beauty, lineage. And his clear advice was "marry the one with religion". This does not mean that beauty has no part in the choice - since beauty and piety aren't mutually exclusive - but religion is THE main quality to look for in a potential spouse. However, i DO think there should be something there that attracts you to the other half. Kashif Wa Salaam |
| NS |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| mujaahid |
| 03/29/02 at 07:37:33 |
| [slm] Kashief some of the advice given was good, but some was rather bad advice! Ia gree when you say you should marry for religion, for thier deen, but thier has to be some attraction thier, it may be small, i.e. the sister may think to herself "yeah he's ok, he aint a stunner or nothing but he's ok looking, his personality is ok as well", and this is ok, this means their is an attraction thier. But when she is saying "but I do not feel very attracted to him. I feel sooooo bad and guilty and keep telling myself that I will grow to 'fancy' him" then surely its better for her not to go ahead. She will get many more offers, why jump the gun and marry someone she is not really too happy with? Its too risky to go ahead into a marriage if your having such doubts!! The sister should be completely happy with the guy before agreeing to marry him. She is making the biggest decision of her life, and she should be given advice, not coerced or pushed, even gently, into making a decision. If she is not attractive to this bro, then trying to convince her that an attraction may come sometime in the future is simply bad advice!! And i'm sure if everyone is honest, they will agree! Sisters this is a girl who is about to make a massive decision, one that could will affect the rest of her life. Please think about some of the things your saying. What may sound good on paper, in reality could be seriously bad advice, especially when your trying to convince the sister that things *may* change in the future, because only Allah (awj) knows the future. And to say the sisetr may find the bro attractive in years to come, is simply bad advice!! I hope knowone takes anything i said personally, i'm simply trying to offer the best advice for this sister. As a brother, IF a muslimah did not find me very attractive, i would not be happy marrying her, an` if i knew how she felt, i would not marry, OR make her feel bad over it. How can i be happy if the sister does not find me attractive? How can SHE be happy if she feels no real attraction to me? When people agree to marry, they should both be happy with each other, with character, persoanlity, looks etc. |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| Aneesa_A. |
| 03/29/02 at 08:05:04 |
| [slm] The best thing for you to do sis, is to do an Isthikara, instead of asking us what we think etc...all of us have different opinions, viewpoints & thoughts and this will just lead you to be more confused. We are putting ourselves into your position, and giving advice based on that. However, the situation you are in may have a lot more to it. Its best to do an Isthikara, that will show you what Allah's will is and will guide you to make the right decision, one which will the best for both of you. [wlm] :-) |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| eleanor |
| 03/29/02 at 08:10:17 |
| [quote author=mujaahid link=board=sis;num=1017206454;start=0#9 date=03/28/02 at 09:51:03] Eleanor i didnt say you said you didnt find him attractive, but thats my point, you DID find him attractive when you first married! But this sister does not find this brother attractive!! Eleanor was your atttraction to your husband a big thing to you when you first met him? [/quote] Brother let me be a little clearer. In the first part of my post I was referring to the quote which I had taken from a previous post - where the sister said that looks diminish in importance over the years. All I was doing was agreeing with this and backing it up with some of my own experience. In the second part of my post I was referring to the problem at hand, in which I could do nothing more than advise the sister to make Istikhara. I hope this clears your confusion, Insha Allah. wasalaam eleanor :-* |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| BrKhalid |
| 03/29/02 at 12:47:34 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) Sr Anonymous asked: [quote]What do i do???[/quote] And I get the feeling that the general consensus in this thread is that she should do Istikhara and take it from there. Anonymous, I assume you're still reading these posts. Have we helped or are you more confused than before? |
| 03/29/02 at 12:48:23 |
| BrKhalid |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| EdisonShi |
| 03/29/02 at 15:44:02 |
| There is a Woman in my life who is caring, thoughtful and knows me for my faults and favors and still finds me delightful. I am single and would one day like to marry, she has most everything I could want in a Woman, but I am not physically attracted to her. I've known her for 3 years now and I still can't see being with her on a physical level, so we remain "just friends" and I remain single. Attraction is important. Only the Anonomous Sister knows how important it is for her. I just think she should know that there is no shame in whatever desicion she makes, as a Muslim or as a Woman. |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| explorer |
| 03/29/02 at 16:50:54 |
| [slm] With some people we don't feel physically attracted to them at first instance. With others we do. However in the former case, not feeling attracted to a potential spouse at first instance doesn't mean this will always be the case. It makes you confused at first but the more you get to know someone the more attracted you become to him/her and this certainly applies when ones personality and character is top notch. Every case is different so its best to pray istikaara to put yourself on the right track. Eventually there does need to be some degree of physical attraction between marriage partners. This is important for the physical relationship. We're human and have an in-built desire to be attracted to the things we find beautiful. Theres even a hadith where a woman refused to marry someone she wasn't attracted to and the Prophet(pbuh) allowed her to exercise this right. I can concur with EdisonShi above. We can know some great muslimas with all the qualities of a pious wife but feel no attraction to them whatsoever, so marriage is off the cards. Not everyone has those sharp beautiful features we tend to drool over. In that case just give it time, reflect on the good things about the person and you will eventually see the physical beauty shine through inshallah. If it doesn't and you don't feel comfortable, pray that Allah grants you a spouse whom you feel attracted to but also has the qualities of a pious husband. ameen Anyway as BrKhalid said we've probably confused you as hell! Sorry :'( |
| 03/29/02 at 16:53:09 |
| explorer |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| Mentallect |
| 04/01/02 at 21:42:02 |
| The question I pose is: How many people have risked a marrying a person they werent attracted to in hopes for attraction on another level that comes with living with a person for an extended period of time and got short changed? Divorce is frowned upon and a wife is basically pinned to one husband at a time. How excactly does THAT work out for the better? |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| Kathy |
| 04/01/02 at 23:21:43 |
| [slm] The reason I have been hesitant to lock this topic is because of Mentallect's question/comment. I know of two seperate incidents of this happening. The first- where the wife did not find her husband attractive- but married him because of all the other positive areas. Yes- she did grow to love him and find him more attractive. The second- the husband married his wife for her deen. While she was not homely - he was not attracted so much to her. They have a room mate type marriage. She continues to wait for him to notice her beauty. On a seperate note, - I really am disappointed in many of the remarks about the advice females give. As in both genders- some give good advice- others give bad advice. i know most of us are aware of our accountablity before Allah swt. |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| mujaahid |
| 04/02/02 at 10:37:23 |
| [slm] I am glad to see some of the people have realised that attraction is a big thing when it comes to marriage. Thank you poeple for beiong honest :) |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| eleanor |
| 04/02/02 at 16:13:14 |
| [quote author=mujaahid link=board=sis;num=1017206454;start=15#26 date=04/02/02 at 10:37:23] [slm] I am glad to see some of the people have realised that attraction is a big thing when it comes to marriage. Thank you poeple for beiong honest  :)[/quote] Salaam I don't like the implication here... wasalaam eleanor :-* |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| maariya |
| 04/15/02 at 11:14:09 |
| salaam everybody :-* It seems to me that the sister is in a tight spot :(. My advice would be to go with what seems true and honest to yourself. Noone can expect anything more. You should never feel 'bad or guilty' because it is not your fault. The right muslim bro ;-) will come along and you will feel confident in your choice inshallah. Keep doing istihara prayer and making lots of dua....Everything will fall in place......Allah knows best your sis maariya |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| eiman |
| 04/15/02 at 23:37:43 |
| [slm] I was recently in a very similar situation anonymous. I think the BEST advice you can take from this is to pray Istikhara... and listen to your gut... your instinct... 6th sense... FITRA :).....That way, you are guided through the right means insha'Allah..... Ask Allah swt with complete trust, reliance and conviction in him.... and do keep in mind that its all Naseeb.... so really, there's only SO MUCH that you can do :) But definitely, Istikhara... and keeping in tune later with how you feel is the best way to go... Wallahu A3lam.... May Allah guide you in making the wisest of choices... Fi Aman Illah, Serenity. |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| arielsharon |
| 04/18/02 at 17:33:42 |
| the truth is that you must follow your heart ..and your head. only you can decide if you can share your whole being with another. this question needs serious thought and is not a matter of whim. attraction can be on many levels, for mujaahid it is about physicality and for him that is the basis though not the only basis for his choosing. for others the beauty lies elsewhere,it is in the beholders eyes. for you to ask this question is surely an answer. |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| Road2Jannah |
| 04/19/02 at 13:49:04 |
| [slm] subhanallah, I hope some of these advices helped our sister, who posted this Q. basically every1 said it all. My advice would be give it time, and depend on Allah. Ask ur self how important is looks to u. and give the guy a chance to show his true beauty (in halal way I mean). I am sure that looks r important but they r not the most important as we all know. Looks can disappear while life comes and goes. What if u did marry a guy who was gorgeous and all of a sudden he gets burnt and his looks r damaged, would that matter to u then? i know this is kind of off topic, but this is just an idea that we can test our selves with. I personally say depend on Allah alone, and pray Salat istikhara, and give the guy a chance. At the end evaluate everything and see if that guy makes u happy, and comfortable. Then u will know. I hope inshallah that this problem would be solved, and plz keep us up to date. Take care sis. I hope we all helped in some way. [slm] :-* |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| mujaahid |
| 04/19/02 at 14:12:52 |
| [slm] OK, first of all, i knew Sharon sounded familiar!! He is an old foe of mine who posts on the BBC boards, under the name of Wendy Mann :D Anyway something which Wendy (sharon) said was just SOOO true!! "for you to ask this question is surely an answer" That says it all! Sister, their is the Answer you were looking for! For you to ask this question is surely the Answer!!!! The fact that you asked this is enough reason that this guy is not the one for you!! When the right one comes along, you'll know, you'll just KNOW he's the one, you wont have to ask! For you to have to ask shows that you dont feel he is right for you. |
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| Road2Jannah |
| 04/19/02 at 16:42:41 |
| [slm] I realized something that subhanallah, that we are all doing wrong. one thing is that we r telling this sister what to do. Its either to go with him or not. i apologize if i had done so, b/c it is not our right to get into it when we have no clue on how the whole situation is. like i don't want our view to effect her on marrying him, then she comes and hates the marriage and we would be responsible, nor can we discourage her, b/c she might regret giving him up. And we would also be responsible for that. This is only for the benefit of all. I think at the end. You keep on Allah's hand. and make a lot of duaaaaaaaaaaa. pray qiyam al layle. and never give up duaa, inshallah ill keep u in my duaa. I hope i did not offend any1. by all means i only want wats good for all. |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| Anonymous |
| 04/23/02 at 15:37:26 |
| Assalaamu alaikum brothers and sisters I posted an anonymous posting on the subject of marrying some1 you are not attracted to, even though the person may seem to be perfect in every other sense. I have read some very interesting comments and jasakallah khairun for all of your contributions. From my experience I have found that it is very important to trust your gut instinct in this matter. Allah is the creator of all things, and tests us in different ways. He (swt) has created humans in all shapes and sizes. However, He (swt) has also given us choice in the matter of choosing a spouse and I feel that it is wrong to say that 'looks don't matter' . There has to be an element of attraction between the two persons and if that spark doesn't ignite in the first couple of meetings then pershaps it never will. Remember you are not looking for a new friend, you are looking for a husband for life! Marriage is a very delicate matter and I believe that the best solution to a complex dilemma is always found in the istihara prayer. If after this prayer you are still double minded I would advise any muslim not to go ahead with it....Allahu Alim 'May Allah help those muslims all around the globe who are fighting for His (swt) cause' |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| mujaahid |
| 04/23/02 at 15:48:40 |
| [slm] You done the right thing sister ;-) |
| Re: Should I marry someone I'm not attracted to? |
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| muqaddar |
| 04/24/02 at 14:22:22 |
| [slm] hmm if you want to marry ... Marry! if not don't! personally i'm never marrying again |
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