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She took off her scarf...

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She took off her scarf...
Kathy
04/22/02 at 22:04:11
[slm]

A Muslimah's husband died a couple of months ago. She is in her 60's. Many in our Community treated her and the burial- poorly.

The last two times I saw her- once in public and tonight she came to class with out her scarf on.

The moment has not come yet in which we have talked about it. Would you initiate the conversation? If so- how?
Re: She took off her scarf...
Road2Jannah
04/22/02 at 22:15:06
[slm] subhanallah may Allah bring her back hidaiya to hijab. well it is kind of hard, but if u do see her lets make up a scene.

k u see her coming, and greet her with salams. u talk a lil. hows life anything new? any new sales in the stores lol. then u tell her ohh mashallah i saw this place where it had beautifull scraves, i wondered if u would like to go with me and check  out the good stuff, then she would go in the topic and might state her sitatuion with hijab. and if not u ask her.


this would fit if u actually did **see** nice scarves lol


or u can talk to her, and get a book, or tape about hijab and put it in a gift wrap and tell her this is a gift from me to u." I hope u accept it even though its something littel. but this is just to show my love to u for the sake of Allah"

inshallah i hope i helped.  :-*
Re: She took off her scarf...
Dawn
04/23/02 at 09:47:04
I don't think I would mention it.  If I were in your situation, I think I would continue to treat her as I always have, with perhaps a little extra attention as she is newly widowed.  She is clearly grieving and needs to be given time to do that, before she can get to the "getting on with her life" stage.   It could be that she just needs some encouragement, some reminders that she is still beautiful in God's eyes, some signs that she is still needed in her community, and emotional support for going through this difficult time.  In a couple months or so you could maybe remind her that she is a model for the younger women.   As an aside, if she is in her sixties, it is not a sin for her to go out without her "outer garments" (Qur'an 24:60), which, from what I have read, many apparently take to include the head covering.   But, I am not sure how right this interpretation is.  

Peace,
Dawn
Re: She took off her scarf...
M.F.
04/23/02 at 11:17:29
Assalamu alaikum
I'm having two thoughts on this: one would be not to mention it at all and just continue being supportive and positive till one day she decides to tell you herself what happened and how she feels about it.
Or, just straight out ask her: so how come you don't wear a scarf anymore?  plain and simple and in the most non judgmental way I could(especially if you know her well) and she might be relieved that ppl aren't pretending not to notice anymore.
If I knew the person well enough, I'd go with the second one.


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