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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Boundaries, just a my thought |
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| Caraj |
| 04/26/02 at 17:41:02 |
| Sometime folks on the board as in anywhere else on this earth.... Do not agree We care about each other ;D Hope the best for each other ;) Pray for each other :) Help each other :-X But we do not all, always agree Not that one is wrong, nor one is right But there are boundaries in all of life Don't walk on the grass :o Cover your mouth when you cough ::) Boundaries at countries boarders ;) Personal boundaries. We all set our own boundaries, as to how we will accept being treated :) As to how we will accept being addressed 8) As to how we will accept being talked to :-/ Setting boundaries doesn't mean one is mad or neccessarily angered, nor always offended. Doesn't mean one is wrong and the other right. A boundary is set is set by all, according to each persons individual comfort level. Just something I was thinking about the other day And was on my heart to share with all of you here on the Medina board. |
| 04/26/02 at 17:43:59 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Boundaries, just a my thought |
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| M.F. |
| 04/28/02 at 05:52:17 |
| Very good point Cara. We need to be able to set our own boundaries at our levels of comfort, and we also need to be able to tell people when they've crossed them. Now this telling people is the hardest thing because... well how [i]do[/i] you tell a person without offending them or hurting them or making them mad? I was told that children NEED you to set their boundaries, even though it may seem unkind, they need you to say no once in a while so that they know where their limits are. Children who aren't given limits keep on testing and testing them, till pretty soon they're doing horrible stuff while all you had to do is say no in the beginning. |
| Re: Boundaries, just a my thought |
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| sweetgrass |
| 04/28/02 at 19:02:44 |
| Actually Caraj, I really appreciate your bringing this up. It's a very important skill to develop. I've always sort of found it difficult to say no to others. Sort of funny you know, one of the first words in our vocabulary as children is the word "no". It's as if God/Allah values the importance of this word and gives it a place as one of our primary develpmental tasks to master at an early age--no doubt it is one of the most important words in our vocabulary! Unfortunately most of us spend the next twenty or thirty years being taught that there is something wrong with us if we use the word "no" and we are taught to say, well--ok, I guess so--Anyhow, and then after all that unlearning of this useful, important word, we have to spend the next twenty years learning to say it all over again! :D At any rate you've made a very good point :-* Glad you brought that up. :) Patti |
| Re: Boundaries, just a my thought |
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| Caraj |
| 04/30/02 at 15:52:23 |
| I know exactly what you mean Sweetgrass, I am 40 and spent the first 38 yrs of my life saying..., Ok, well I quess ::) I just say, "I mean no disrespect nor do I mean to come across rude, but NO I do not wisah to do that." Or, "NO I can't, hope it works out for you." Friends I have had for years, well some think it is a great new way and others can't handle my honesty and bluntness. As for me........................ I like me this way. ;D Always remember......... you are responsable for YOUR actions Not the REACTIONS of another If they cannot handle it and you spoke from the heart in a calm, level voice, then they need to deal with it, not you. However I know there are some who you have to be harsher with your boundaries at times Like teen-agers ::) Salaam |
| 04/30/02 at 15:54:51 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Boundaries, just a my thought |
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| muqaddar |
| 05/01/02 at 11:14:18 |
| [slm] hmm you need to also be careful how you say no |
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