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What Happenned Next II ?
jannah
05/02/02 at 04:15:34
[slm] True story... It was the year Fourteen Hundred Twenty Three after Hijrah, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, post 9/11...(ok ok on to the story!).... So there we were @ Friendly's, post 'msa palestine successful despite some rabble rousers' event, looking forward to some good brownie caramel dessert, discussing life and just enjoying ourselves.  It was me, 7, dhikr, and an older married palestinian sis rollin deep. We walk in and meet a nice Muslim couple walking out, we stop to give our greetings (the wife is 5ish months pregnant and lookin tired) and salams and suddenly this non-muslim woman (tall blonde business casual) apparently overcome by the sight of so many hijab heads coming into an american restaurant says "Where you guys from?"  "Hey, where you guys from?".  So of course noting the diversity of the crowd, I say "Oh our parents are from India, and her parents are from Egypt and she's from Palestine".  Apparently thrwarted by not getting the "Afghanistan" answer, she then asks "So why do you wear that".   So of course me and my "pre-prepared hijab blurb" starts on auto pilot, you know the one... "It's about modesty.. it's just like the nuns wear to be modest and recognized etc."  She interrupts and says "Ya know I love Jesus but even if he told me to I'd still never wear that thing on my head!".  So husband of said wife turns around and says, "You know I went to catholic school all my life and studied the Bible all my life. I respect your religion you can't respect ours?"  So then his poor wife starts to leave out the door, he follows and the other woman says as he's leaving "ITS EASIER TO CONTROL HER THAT WAY ISN'T IT !!!". ... ........................ and then.........guess what happenned !!??!!
05/02/02 at 04:16:43
jannah

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
eleanor
05/02/02 at 04:21:40
[slm] mmmm.. many different scenarios spring to mind - all of them based on gratuitous violence - brother boxes her in the face (naaa.. very bad for dawah) se7en bites her head off... (nup..) I guess the best answer is that the wife comes back in, pokes the woman very hard in the chest and says in a deadly and daring voice "What did you just say..?" ??? Or Jannah sighed, placed her hand on the woman's shoulder , says let me buy you a  [] and clear up a few misconceptions...... wasalaam eleanor  :-*

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
BUSHRA
05/02/02 at 05:51:45
[slm] hmmmm, The brother turns back and yells "I am not controlling her, she is my wife , my partner in life , she wears it out of her own choice and I respect and appreciate her immensly for it" So then the wife pitches in and gives the woman a mouth full meanwhie every one else in the shop is enjoying this and lapping it all up when sis. Jannah intervenes and tries once again to explain things to the woman in calm and cool way but they insist on still mocking and making fun of them so the sisters leave them alone and think that some people just don't want to open their minds. Was I near? Bushra :-)

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
M.F.
05/02/02 at 06:12:12
The brother turns around and comes back and says: And just how is it easy to control her that way?  And the lady says: well, ummm, I gotta think about that one, I just blurted it out cause that's what everyone says. The man says: Do you think someone was trying to control Mary and that's why her head's covered on every single painting of her. The lady's still at a loss for words. And the wife goes:  Look,   I wear this because I believe that's what God wants me to do.  What do you believe God wants YOU to do? The lady no longer knows what to say.  She goes red in the face, totally embarrassed.  Someone else walks up, curious, and says: Lady, just leave these people alone.   What do you have against them?? And she leaves quickly, redfaced.

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
Kathy
05/02/02 at 08:47:42
The wife is shocked that her husband asked her why she didn't respect his religion. She immediately went on the defensive and said that his religion's problems of perverts has been smeared all over the papers and there would be no way in "h-ll" that she would be oppressed and wear that on her head. Meanwhile jannah and se7en are glancing at each other knowing that a crowd of custmers are trying to listen in. They know this is a big dawah moment and say "bismillah..." The husband can't believe that all of those years of pentup  frustration about his wife's lack of respect just tumbled out of his mouth. - and a stranger got involved! He looks around to find someone who could help him. he glances over to the door and in walks.... Mujy! (jannah & se7en call over to Kashif (who at first wonders why two single women are giving salaams) but then his eagle sences alert to a possible dawah disaster and he immediately escorted Mujy to his table).

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
eleanor
05/02/02 at 08:50:50
[slm] umm Kathy.. I think this really happened, and we have to guess what the outcome was... :-[ wasalaam eleanor  :-*

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
Kathy
05/02/02 at 08:58:56
Yeah I know.... I just got carried away.... :D

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
bhaloo
05/02/02 at 10:14:00
[slm] That's when Se7en breaks her down and goes on for 20 minutes, basically making the woman feel like she wishes she was never born.  Jannah and dhikr look on in amazement and think OHMYGAWD, whats gotten into Se7en, take it easy girl, aiiittte.  But yo, Se7en doesn't stop, she really let's the woman have it.  The dust settles, Se7en and dhikr leave, Jannah smiles at the woman and says proudly, that's my sister and she too leaves.

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
HaRiSa
05/02/02 at 10:57:11
alright i want he real ending LOL  :-/

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
Maliha
05/02/02 at 12:40:47
[slm] Somehow I can't conjure up anything that doesn't include a fist in her mouth either   ::) Okay, you guys bought her a brownie caramel sundae, wiped her tears, as she broke down and confessed to her ignorance  :) I don't know, i'll jus chill and wait for the real deal...cuz man! I really wanna know what happened... Maliha  :-) [wlm]

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
BroHanif
05/02/02 at 15:57:05
[slm], Sis 7 gets in a huff and puff and makes the womans face the same colour as her hair. All in all, the caramel desert is put to good use. Sis Jannah then apologises and everything is kewl... Sis 7 goes back to her studying and dhikr is speechless. salaams Hanif

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
HaRiSa
05/02/02 at 21:19:10
alright this is what happened next..... SuperMuslimah flew in and threw an "Enlightenment Hijab" on the ignorant woman....after a few seconds.... the woman apologized, said the shahada, and hugged her new muslim sisters LOL how bout that  :-/

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
Kathy
05/05/02 at 00:43:27
[slm] What happened?

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
AyeshaZ
05/05/02 at 14:22:26
[quote author=Kathy link=board=bebzi;num=1020327334;start=0#12 date=05/05/02 at 00:43:27] [slm] What happened?[/quote] ;D Exactly... What happened  ??? ??? ???

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
jannah
05/05/02 at 22:03:22
Ok so then said woman turns back around to us, and we said "That's NOT the reason we wear it, we wear it out of our own free choice". And she says  "why don't you just take it off!" and then i think she starts saying something to 7 and then starts making comments to the people next to her. So now I was like OMG, we're going to be chased out by crazy friendlies customers and employees trying to pull off our scarves. so i grabbed 7 and looked the lady right in the eye and said "Look we didn't come here to get harrassed, so leave us alone." then we headed into the restaurant more and sat down at a table, we continued to talk about how rude some people are and then we see the manager or someone talking to the lady. Then after she pays for what she was waiting for she comes over to our table and says "Look, I just wanted to apologize, I didn't mean to be rude. I just came from watching what's happenning on TV and I don't  want  men to oppress you. I JUST WANTED TO SET YOU FREE.* " She turns to leave but 7 says "what makes you think that? what makes you think we're oppressed?" so she says "I just see it all the time on TV what's happenning in Afghanistan and I don't think men should control you". So then 7 explained how we wear it for ourselves. Then the married sister with us (we'll call her sis J) rocked the house and said how she chose it for herself as well and that her husband is american, blonde and blue eyed. To which the woman was like "OH REALLY!" (shocked). Then Sis J  talked about how when she goes to her in laws house she respects their tradition but within the limits of islam etc. And we talked about how some of our families didn't want us to wear hijab but we did anyway. At this point the woman is like "Oh ok... as long as no one is forcing you I don't care!"  Sis J kept on talking for a bit... and then the lady said "Ok thanks and I'm sorry again I just don't want men to control you" and then she left.   Then the manager comes over and says "Hey was that lady bothering you?" And we started to say she was rude at first but came over to apologize, but he interrupted and said "If anyone bothers you you come over and tell me! You have every right to be here as they do!"  and then he was extremely nice to us along with the waitress the rest of the time we were there. (7 and dhikr can maybe add their view of the events) but this particular occurence really bothered me for a lot of reasons: 1. probably the most glaring is that our dawah is NOT working or is totally ineffectual that a woman in a ice cream restaurant can practically start to rip off our hijabs. 2. that some people ARE SO IGNORANT about the rest of the world and DISRESPECTFUL about it too.. they don't want to learn about what's going on out there.. they just don't THINK (like what all 500 million muslim women out there, in the streets, hospitals,  schools,  farms, 85 countries  etc are ALL FORCED by men to wear it!!!  like if we were so forced why didn't we the second we walked in there whip of our hijabs??) apparently not only are we forced, but we're stupid too 3. highlighted the fact that people are such hypocrites- that  you should go ahead and take it off and be free but when you choose to wear it you're not  "liberated" until you take it off... 4. why do some people think anything different from their way of life/dress etc is wrong and needs to be fixed...sadly cultural imperialism and propoganda seem to be the winners this day. anyways it was really jarring experience, nothing like that has ever happenned to me... i mean we all occassionally get the "umm i don't mean to be offensive, but why do you wear that" stuff, but the outright hostility and stuff is new, really new i guess it just brings up all the old feelings of frustration after 9/11, and really brings home the point that we are living in a post 9/11 world and nothing will ever be the same for us again**. * emphasis mine, but can you believe that this is a prevailing thought, people actually believe that they LIBERATED AFGHANISTAN and the women there. ** on a positive note a 10 year old non Muslim boy at a church interfaith today says to us after he heard one of the imams speak about how 9/11 hurt the muslims too... "I think I know why God allowed this to happen. It was so people could understand and learn about the Muslims so they could go back to their high standing again (refering to talk about Golden Age of Islam)." Subhanallah.
05/05/02 at 22:12:19
jannah

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
bhaloo
05/05/02 at 22:20:13
[slm] Well the story doesn't seem that surprising.  I believe that most Americans think that way and are that ignorant about Islam.  I've heard so many stories, the discussions on talk shows, the news, the work place, etc.   But of course there are people that have opened their eyes and are seeking the truth.  It is struggle, but we need to be strong and continue conveying the message of Islam, and insha'Allah pray that Allah (SWT) guides them to the right path.   p.s. You didn't mention what you guys ordered? ???

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
jannah
05/05/02 at 22:23:02
;) hmm 7 got a sundae and a [] no ice, dhikr the caramel brownie ice cream thing, sis J wasn't sure so she got the same thing and I got the strawberry shortcake... (hey it's got fruit in there, that's gotta be healthy!! :))
05/05/02 at 22:23:28
jannah

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
Abu_Hamza
05/05/02 at 22:34:04
[slm] Hmm.  Maybe living in the redneck south for the last 10 years have desensitized me a bit (???) but I don't see anything overly surprising here Jannah.  Maybe it hit you hard because it happened to you personally for the first time.  Things like this have become very common, and yes, especially after Sep. 11. P.S. Sundae with a pepsi ???  I can't even take [i]one[/i] sip of pepsi (or coke) with an ice cream or a sundae!  It tastes *bitter*.  There is such things as fruit juices people!!!  Try them sometimes  ::)
05/05/02 at 22:35:26
Abu_Hamza

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
se7en
05/05/02 at 22:51:29
as salaamu alaykum, dude, that's soo not what happened! Here's the real story: after the woman made that crazy comment, Jannah *bugged*.  I mean, I've seen it happen before [she's my sister, I've been the *cause* of it before] but this is the first time I saw it happen on a daawa type scene.  (Usually she is the calm collected sort y'all think she is.. but not this time :))  I'd argue it was justified, because this wasn't the usual rude comment.. this woman took it to a whole nother level :P anyway, so I wanted to drop some science on this woman.. but jannah wasn't having it (because the woman wasn't going to hear it, and it would have caused a scene I guess).  so jannah said to her "that's not what it's about!  look, we have respect for your religion so have some respect for ours.*" and then as I was trying to calm her down "no, we didn't come to this restaurant to be harassed! let's go.." and then we sat and started talking about how ignorant some people are..  I mean, it's one thing to have a question, or even to disagree with something and dislike it - but to openly insult people for just practicing their religion?  what happened to common courtesy?  freedom of expression/religion?   I guess then the manager said something to her, and she came up to our table and apologized.. an apology that was weak at best :P  (I think she didn't want to get kicked out of the restaurant)   One thing that I just *didn't* understand is why she thought we would allow ourselves to be controlled in that way ???  I guess it irks me on a personal level because it means people think we're stupid.  That we'd blindly submit to whatever some man wants of us, even if it is to our detriment. So she said she's been seeing all this stuff on TV [she actually said CNN I think] about these poor oppressed Muslim women the world over and then she saw us come into the restaurant and felt that she needed to liberate us  ::) Anyway, after we all very *patiently* schooled the woman on how wrong she was, how we all love to be Muslims and it's a conscious choice on our part to wear a garb that was divinely prescribed and honors us as human beings, I guess she felt her moral duty to free us from the shackles of male domination was complete and she left  ::) hehe.. it was definitely an interesting day :P and we didn't even tell you about the rabble rousers at the Palestine Teach In  :) the responses to this were soo funny.. I can't believe y'all think I'm so vicious!! I'm not that bad :P wasalaamu alaykum  :-) ps - abu_hamza you just have no appreciation for good things   :P
05/05/02 at 23:33:14
se7en

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
bhaloo
05/05/02 at 23:18:23
[slm] [quote author=se7en link=board=bebzi;num=1020327334;start=15#18 date=05/05/02 at 22:51:29] dude, that's soo not what happened![/quote] That's what I was thinking.  You know how when you ask people a story and every person that was there, gives a different account of things.  I don't know if I believe your story entirely,  Se7en, Jannah doesn't seem like she would freak out.  But I can see how you would be the one that took charge of the situation, that part I guess makes sense. What's with all these sundaes and shortcake? ???  And you guys wonder why tae-bo doesn't work, tsk, tsk, tsk.  ;)
05/05/02 at 23:21:45
bhaloo

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
Kathy
05/06/02 at 09:28:00
[quote author=jannah link=board=bebzi;num=1020327334;start=0#14 date=05/05/02 at 22:03:22]I said "Look we didn't come here to get harrassed, so leave us alone." [/quote] Jannah... my kind of woman!! I hope I will never have to say this....But, sometimes it is all you can say! What ever happened to the husband?

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
Dawn
05/06/02 at 11:16:14
The nerve of some people!!!!  :o  Good job in handling her, Jannah and Se7en.  Now, hoping for the absolute best, as I always do, let's hope she took this to heart and is now blabbing to all her friends, acquaintances and a few strangers, about her new knowledge.  Cause, while only she might have been bold enough to say it, there are sooooo many people who think it but don't say anything.  So, if she can just enlighten a few of them ...  redirecting her energy in a positive way, one might say ...  this could almost be another story line  :D

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
Marcie
05/06/02 at 19:26:37
[color=Teal] [slm] When I lived in Germany it used to be like this, which was a huge reason for me leaving.  You could talk until you were blue in the face and people were still convinced that they were right.  Not just that but you were a second class citizen. I even had a professor, who could not believe that my relatives were not Muslims.  It was beyond his scope.  Too be honest it was difficult walking out the door each morning knowing that I always have to be ready to defend myself.  >:( Being back in the States was easier, because of the mentality of the people and because it is home.  Subhanallah things have changed though.  Phis is a test for us.  Not only do we need to be patient with others, but we also need to be able to explain ourselves.   It really is about us staying true to our deen and continuing to strengten our faith no matter what obstacles the world throws in our direction.   :-* [wlm] Marcie  :-) Ps. Whenever someone asks me where I am from I tell them New Hampshire.  It is very important that people realize that Muslims are Americans too![/color]
05/06/02 at 19:30:49
Marcie

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
eleanor
05/07/02 at 04:24:16
[slm] [quote author=Marcie link=board=bebzi;num=1020327334;start=15#22 date=05/06/02 at 19:26:37] When I lived in Germany it used to be like this, which was a huge reason for me leaving.  You could talk until you were blue in the face and people were still convinced that they were right.  [/quote] tell me about it  :(  Sorry for diverting the topic, but I am having huge problems with my landlady. And yesterday she told me that it would be better if I just go back to my country after the way I have treated the Germans!!!!!!!!!!  :'(   [I have damp in my apartment, which is caused due to a problem with the isolation, proven by an engineer who did an analysis... now she's still trying to pin it on me and I am going to have to sue her.... :'(  ) I want OUT of Germany  >:( wasalaam eleanor  :-*

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
Marcie
05/07/02 at 06:50:26
[color=Teal] [slm] Almost every apartment I knew in Germany was damp.   :P  That is the way that they are built.  She is just trying to pin in it on you because your are a foreigner and she thinks that you don't know your rights.  Do you have any German friends, who might know the law better?  There is also an agency that fights for the rights of the mieter.  I can' think of the name though.  Don't give in.  It is always about money!!!!!!!!!!!! >:( [quote]Sorry for diverting the topic, but I am having huge problems with my landlady. And yesterday she told me that it would be better if I just go back to my country after the way I have treated the Germans!!!!!!!!!!  [/quote] So what have you done?   ???  You know I lost a very good German friend when I decided to wear hijab.  She had been a foreign exchange student here.  She could not believe that I would live in Germany and assimilate with the Turkish.  She did not see any reason for me being in Germany if I was not going to act German!!!!!!!!!!  At least in the States the majority of us came from somewhere else at one time or another.   Hang in there Eleanor.  Maybe you should make hijra to Albany.   ;) [wlm] Marcie  :-)[/color]
05/07/02 at 11:06:19
Marcie

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
eleanor
05/07/02 at 07:04:35
[slm] I would *love* to make hijrah to Albany. I'd feel right at home with all the cows and rabbits and I'd have the Mafia to back me up in any problems. Thanks for the support. Yes we are members of the Mieterverein. (ALHAMDULILLAH). They believe that she doesn't have a leg to stand on and just wants money out of us. It looks like it'll end up going to court.  :'( It's really freaking me out. And yeah they are like that (no offense to any germans who are kind and tolerant). The general consensus on hijab is "they are in Germany now, they should take it off.." . Our neighbours also complained because we were cooking spicey food everyday. Said it stunk. Said if we wanted to live in Germany we should integrate better. (NOT if it means eating their horrible food  >:( ) OOhhh  just waiting till Aug.2003, then I'm finished school and then you won't see us for dust. wasalaam eleanor  :-*

Re: What Happenned Next II ?
Dawn
05/07/02 at 07:24:29
[quote author=eleanor link=board=bebzi;num=1020327334;start=15#25 date=05/07/02 at 07:04:35] OOhhh  just waiting till Aug.2003, then I'm finished school and then you won't see us for dust.[/quote]I guess that gives us about a year to make that 2.5 hour drive north to meet you guys, huh?  Well, that black forest trip just might be upped to this summer then. ;D And as for the apartments, I have a friend in Munich (american married to a german) and THEY have problems with their landlady.  Go figure. They have already been to court once (and won).  What is up with these folks who rent places?  Maybe you should consider moving to Switzerland!  :D  I know it's not EU, but they have this agreement thing going -- or it will be going soon.  Zurich is really nice, and very multi-cultural!  You hear LOTS of english on the streets too.  I don't know about anyone else, but we haven't had any problems whatsoever with our building managers.  Quite the opposite, actually -- they are really good.  And our place isn't damp at all.  There is a fairly large Muslim population here too, with a couple of Islamic centers, at least one Mosque, etc.  (Not bad for a city of only about 350K!)
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