A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Looking for sisterhood!? |
|---|
| Anonymous |
| 05/15/02 at 00:58:35 |
| As'salamu Alaikum, I have a problem that is bothering me deeply. I am saddened at this issue where I am from. The Muslimah's here are not very sisterly. I don't go out much because I have three kids that are really a handful and if I do go out , it is usually me and my husband only. I would like to have more friends, maybe i can meet them online perhaps, but what am I to do with no real source of sister hood? Please tell me? As'salamu Alaikum, Ruqish |
| Re: Looking for sisterhood!? |
|---|
| jannah |
| 05/15/02 at 01:41:36 |
| [slm] sister how are you reaching out to the sisters so you can become sisterly together? if you don't go out much and don't meet other sisters and become friends with them or arrange time to be together with them, it becomes sort of hard for the others to help you. :( no offense but it drives me crazy when someone says something like that to me and I know this sister has refused all public and private overtures of friendship, getting together etc with other sisters. i mean some ppl expect to come to the mosque and be greeted with open arms and love, which is all nice, but it's difficult if you don't know them and they don't know you!! :o so please if you are feeling this lack of sisterly-ness then do something about it... maybe invite the sisters over your house one day for lunch or dinner, maybe participate in some sisters event, maybe get more involved with the community -- all these things will help them know you and you know them and you'll feel less alone for sure. :-) . |
| Re: Looking for sisterhood!? |
|---|
| Kathy |
| 05/15/02 at 08:20:27 |
| [slm] I understand what you are saying. It seems to you that there is no real sisterhood. I found my life drastically changed when the kids arrived. [i](?)[i/] Before them, I had a very active social life. Going to the Masjid, classes, lunches and weekend road trips. If you asked me then, about the Sisterhood- i would have said it was overflowing. Later, after kids, I found there was no Sisterhood. Until I took a step back and looked at the situation. If I 'ever' got free time- I was too exhausted. When I was perky and had that rare once in a blue moon babysitter- I would rather spend time with my Hubby- who with work and school was quickly becoming a ship that passed by me! Needless to say- I began to become lonely for some Sisterly company- but in reality- I had little time. And when I did have the time- my fellow sisters were too busy too! So really the problem was with me- not them! For the last three years the internet was a blessing- I could foster relationships through the message board- at my convience and in between responsibilities. Some of the Sisters, I knew better than the ones in my own community. I actually have a friend- with children- whom I communicate more with her via computer- than in real life- and she lives up the street! Alhumdullillah, my son is a bit wee older and I have been able to start again my classes, teaching and lunches. Except now- instead of scheduling around nap times- I am scheduling around school and sports!- But I know after 8pm I am free! The other day i was at the Masjid and one of the ladies i was talking to said- Oh- so you are Kathy.... Trust me- I do not blend in with the crowd! I have been going there for the last ten years... But as you see- we were two women with kids- and going to the mosque is a hit or miss oportunity to meet people. Jannah is right- you gotta make the first move. There are alot of shy sisters who would love to come by for tea!- Allah who allum- a new bond of friendship might form. |
| Re: Looking for sisterhood!? |
|---|
| Anonymous |
| 05/17/02 at 03:37:16 |
| asalaam alakum, I have a similar problem, i just moved to an area that i have some family members who live here too. they introduced me to some of the girls in the community, there are a lot of them that i met at the masjid. i tried calling them later, e mailing too, and all this went unaswered by every single one of the girls who told me to call and gave me their numbers. i tried calling more than once. leaving me to wonder, well what did i do? did they hear something about me? maybe once they realized that i don't wear hijaab they didn't want to speak with me? i dont know. i dont get to the masjid as much as i would like becasue my job is very demanding so i dont see them. but i saw a group of them at the supermarket the otherday and they walked from me without saying anything when i said salaam to them and made eye contact. so it's not always the fault of the sister who feels like an outsider jannah, try to put yourself in that situation, where its gotten to the point that non muslims would rather talk to you than your muslim sisters. |
| Re: Looking for sisterhood!? |
|---|
| jannah |
| 05/17/02 at 03:46:21 |
| wlm, you're right.. in that case sister, i don't think they're worth trying to be sisters with!! inshaAllah keep trying with different people and over time you'll develop special friendships with some better sisters!! hmm about the hijab and non-hijab issue.. i think there is always some kind of barrier there.. like one side always feels like the other doesn't want to hang around with them.. so i hope inshaAllah that's not the case btw they might not have recognized you in the store if you wore hijab when you met them and then not at the store? also sometimes if you meet ppl for the first time you might not recognize them a second...esp in a different environment.. i remember when i saw my 6th grade teacher in a department store it was so weird ;) |
| Re: Looking for sisterhood!? |
|---|
| maariya |
| 05/17/02 at 17:06:29 |
| [slm] I personally find that lectures on islaam, activities organised, annual islaamic dinners are good ways of meeting other sisters. 8) But I understand your point, we as a sisterhood should be more welcoming and sociable especially if we see a sister on her own. The beauty is that we already know sooooo much about one another without even speaking a word :D......we all have the same goals and aspirations :).....Subhanallah ‘ And who is better in speech than He who says ‘My lord is Allah’ and invites to Islam and does righteous deeds, and says I am one of the Muslims’ [41:33] ‘O mankind we have created you from a man and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know on another. Verily the most honourable of you in the sight of Allah is the believer who has taqwa’ Allah Knows Best , always here for you sis :-* wasalaam :-) |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |