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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| I pray |
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| UmmWafi |
| 05/28/02 at 22:36:49 |
| [slm] Dear brothers and sisters, The past few months have been crazy for me and this past few weeks have been crazier still. Sometimes I waver between awareness and delirium. I guess my biggest mistake was to take too many credit units in my first term thus leaving me to struggle with too many term papers due after not schooling for 10 years. So many negative effects have been cropping up, slowly but significantly. I tend to find myself anxious more often now. I am filled with serious doubts most of the time and I am also exhausted 24/7. In these times of weaknesses, Syaitan has tried his darnest of course. I do sometimes suddenly have whisperings of doubts about our beautiful religion of Islam, Nau'udzubillah. Alhamdulillah, I am still able to counter such doubts. I pray that my Imaan is preserved by Almighty Allah, the Most Gracious The Most Merciful and I pray that He keeps me within the circle of His Loved creations, Amin. Sometimes though I have pangs of envy for other Muslims who I see and feel are Mu'minin and Mu'minat. Pardon the liberty but I sometimes wish I can have the peaceful aura emanating from Sis Jannah or Br AbuKhaled etc... I know since the first time I make the conscious decision to pursue my studies in a field different from what I am used to, I will face difficulties. I am not complaining but I sometimes wonder if perhaps I don't have the intellectual capacity and strength for it. Wallahualam. I do know that I am performing my own form of jihad and as with other jihad, the road is long and tough. I don't know where I am going with this thread. I started out wanting to write something different but well...I do know that my exhaustion is one of the causes of my emotional and spiritual weaknesses. I just wish I am stronger. And I sure truly wish that Syaitan would leave me alone. Sigh. That being so, just wanna say my Salaam to all my friends in here (and no I have not forgotton any of u. I am getting your scarves this week Kathy Insya'Allah) and a great big hug to my fave sisters :) Please include me in your du'a. I would appreciate any naseeha and help from anyone. As for me, my constant du'a now is for all of us to remain steadfast in our Imaan and remain a Mu'min till our death and may we be the dwellers of Jannah and strangers to Hell, Amin. Feel free to e-mail me cos I read my e-mails daily (apply to sis only ;) ) My apologies if I have taken anyone's time unnecessarily with this post. Wassalam. |
| 05/28/02 at 22:42:29 |
| UmmWafi |
| Re: I pray |
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| Maliha |
| 05/29/02 at 07:58:11 |
| [slm] Awwwww.....I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through sis:( May Allah ease your affairs and lift your burden...Know that everything we go through is temporary..and sometimes when things get tough, I just remember there might not be a tomorrow, and that helps me not dwell. Focus on what you have to do, and please no matter how busy you are, take some time out once in a while and chill. Get some perspective, some rest, go to the park, etc. We all have our own Jihads, and i am sure even Jannah, Abu Khaled, etc have their own struggles and weaknesses, it's how we are created. Be strong, you mentioned envy, the best way to overcome that, is to make duah for the Mu'min and Mu'minahs that Allah increase them in His bounties and make duah for yourself too. Exhaustion can cause negative thoughts, some ways to counteract is to try and fit in sometime to not only relax but work out (i hate to sound like the work out ad), but it does help make you feel better over all.... I don't know what else to say...hmmmm... some candle lights, a cup of herbal tea...some incense.... Reflect on your purpose, the reason why you wanted to do this to begin with...Draw strength from the Quran it never fails....Draw strength from prayer and continue being the awesome, loving, spiritual, wise, Sister you are and May Allah ease your affairs, lighten your burden, Shower you with infinite Maghfirah, Rahma, and Bounties (Amin) Take care of your soul sis, I will keep ya in my duahs :) MadSisLuv, Maliha PS: Next semester *don't* take sooo many credits ;) |
| Re: I pray |
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| Kathy |
| 05/29/02 at 08:29:15 |
| [quote author=UmmWafi link=board=bebzi;num=1022639809;start=0#0 date=05/28/02 at 22:36:49] I am filled with serious doubts most of the time.... In these times of weaknesses, Syaitan has tried his darnest of course. I do sometimes suddenly have whisperings of doubts about our beautiful religion of Islam, Nau'udzubillah. [/quote] [wlm] hmm... something is in the air... you are the third Muslim this week to write of this. [i]"Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate from the truth after You have guided us, and bestow upon us mercy from Your grace. Verily You are the Giver of bounties without measure."[/i] (3:8) |
| NS |
| 05/29/02 at 10:25:26 |
| Kathy |
| Re: I pray |
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| M.F. |
| 05/29/02 at 09:59:32 |
[quote]hmm... something is in the air... you are the third Muslim this week to write of this. [/quote] Assalamu alaikum I don't want to make light of whatever is in the air but insha Allah I think it's pre-finals end-of-semester/school year burnout. It's exhausting and sometimes depressing, and depressing thoughts often turn to doubts about our purpose, what our life's about, what we're even doing all this for, when in fact the answer is clear and there's not a whole lot that's required from us. As for the shaytan, all he can do is whisper, and no one has ever been forced to follow. Don't give him too much importance, he doesn't have alot of influence over Muslims. He's trying really hard though, so don't help him :) |
| Re: I pray |
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| Marcie |
| 05/29/02 at 10:04:08 |
| [color=Teal] [slm]Um Wafi, Insha'Allah hang in there and you'll make it through the semester. Please continue to have faith in yourself and don't give up. Many times I have read your posts and thought masha'Allah I would love to meet that sister, I'm sure that I could learn a lot from her. Please be patient and keep making dua and you'll make it past this trying period in your life insha'Allah. A big bear hug!! ;D [wlm] Marcie :-) [/color] |
| Re: I pray |
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| BrKhalid |
| 05/29/02 at 11:53:44 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) [quote]And I sure truly wish that Syaitan would leave me alone. Sigh.[/quote] Wouldn't life be so easy if the above was true!! Unfortunately he just keeps on coming back and we have to be on our guard each and every time. Oh for the Hereafter when inshaAllah we will be free of our avowed enemy. But in a way the test we all have to face is a sign that we are on the right path as Allah the Most Gracious says: [color=Brown]"Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To God we belong, and to Him is our return":- They are those on whom (descend) blessings from their Lord, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance" [2:155-157][/color] What's truly scary is when we are not being tested at all!!! InshaAllah I pray all goes well for you Sr UmmWafi ;-) |
| 05/29/02 at 11:55:45 |
| BrKhalid |
| Re: I pray |
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| Mohja |
| 05/29/02 at 13:44:33 |
| [quote] What's truly scary is when we are not being tested at all!!! [/quote] or when we are but we don't know it? :o Now that is SCARY!!! Sr. Umm Wafi, i remember when you told us about your wish to formally study islam in malaysia and how you were excited about all the stuff that you were learning. I also remember how sad you were at the thought of leaving your kids behind but made the sacrifice anyway fee sabeelillah. I remember reading all that and thinking man! This is one strong sister, and wishing i were more like you. So what i'm saying is that we all have our struggles and though we've heard it too often, it still is true that there's no gain with no pain. I don't think anybody is free from doubts at some point in their lives (or shaytan is not doing his job which i doubt as well) but the important thing to know is that there's Truth out there and that Allah has all the answers and if we persevere and trust in Him ,who's more Merciful to His servants than a mother to her child,we'll get to those answers in due time(there was a thread where Abu khaled talked about this in more detail, i'll try to find it insh'Allah). On a practical note make sure that you are eating well and are getting adequate sleep.I know you said you are overwhelmed with work, still remember that your body has rights over you. It has been my axperience that lack of food and sleep make one more suscetible to negative thoughts and moods.So please make an effort to take care of yourself. Also read the Qur'an for inspiration and peace of heart (i know you already do). One surah that i particularly like to read when i'm down is suratul Al-Duha. It never fails to cheer me up :) As for du'as,i found the following very helpful: [i]Allahuma alhemnee rushdee wa qenee sharra nafsee[/i] O Allah inspire me with my guidance and protect me from the evil of myself Sometimes it just helps to talk things over with friends. As a matter of fact, i would highly reccommend that just because of the feelings of estrangement that you must be feeling being away from home and all. So if there's someone in particular that you trust and can turn to then please do so.Alternatively, you can make a cyber trip to the medina and let us cheer you up :-* [u]A note of warning here[/u], make sure to immunize yourself against the mad madine disease before you come here (just check the akhawat folder under the story thread to see what i mean :o) Take care sister, i'll be making du'a for you insh'Allah. wassalam |
| 05/29/02 at 13:45:17 |
| Mohja |
| Re: I pray |
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| UmmWafi |
| 05/29/02 at 22:35:41 |
| [slm] [I]Rebirth Shrivelled by Time Prey to whispers Veiled vision of Destined end Incessant turmoil Tearing asunder Fragile Dreams A broken shell Of Truth contained Struggling wings Invisible hands Loving strokes Strength infused Caring hearts, Taking flight, Resting on tired soul. Invigorated, renewed Rebirth. (for my brothers and sisters in Madinat - May, 30th)[/I] Dearest Brothers and Sisters whom I love because of Allah, Thank you very much for all the kind words and care, be it expressed here or IMed or in e-mails. Most of all, thank you for the du'as. Masya'Allah, this invisible community contains so much love that its graifying and humbling. I know that Allah's love is infinitefully greater. So much has happened (including having to assist and witness a cousin's scary exorcism...sighhh) and I guess my body and mind are telling me to rest. Alhamdulilah, I have been stepping up my ibadah and I figure thats why Syaitan is also stepping up his whisperings. However, I bear in my heart the knowledge that Islam is the Truth and more importantly the knowledge of Allah's Mercy and Love. After all, I am sure this is all part of a bigger test for me to strengthen my Imaan. I know that when the time comes for me to seek help, Allah will offer me His resting place for He has promised me that I shall not be burdened with more than what I can bear, Insya'Allah. Jihad is never easy....and this is mine, Alhamdulillah. You have no idea how much your motivational words have helped. I pray that Allah will bless you and your family, Amin. That is the only way I can repay your kindness now. Your sister-in-Islam Olin |
| 05/29/02 at 22:37:09 |
| UmmWafi |
| Re: I pray |
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| BroHanif |
| 05/30/02 at 16:47:03 |
| [slm], Keep the zikr on your tongue, Keep the fear and love of Allah in your heart, Study the hardship of the prophets, Study how Imam Bukhari travelled on his thirst for knowledge, Give Sadaqah Call home from time to time, Speak to Sis Barr or invite her over to do your dishes and pamper you Eat well, sleep well, don't push you body. And my own story this week while training in Ju-Jitsu I kicked my training partner hard on his elbow. At first I didn't realise the pain, but slowly the pain was unbearable, as I got home I couldn't even walk. I crawled like Fatimah(11 month old baby) along the house ,man I was in a pathetic state, however I made myself a promise that the pain will come and the pain will go, what dosen't kill me will make me stronger. 24 hours later it still hurts but hey I'm enjoying it, I'm not a quitter. Remember, only Allah and yourself know your inner strength. Your inner strength is stronger than any physical strength that you posses, if you believe in yourself that you can do it, then you will. You'll always be a winner and never a loser in whatever direction you take. Insha-allah. Always in mee duas... Salaams Hanif |
| Re: I pray |
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| mwishka |
| 06/01/02 at 08:31:19 |
| sis umm wafi, i'm sorry things feel so rough to you right now. they will let up, if only because time passes, and things will change. i know that is not all that helpful to say, from when people say it to me, but once you feel better you'll recognize that it is a helpful reminder. as for your eventual success, if i'm not mistaken you are the mighty and invincible soleha! 8) enough said. mwishka p.s. i think soleha (meaning the "good one", right?) is a fine name to carry, and a quality worth making efforts to personify. and i hope i haven't mixed up my stories here...... |
| Re: I pray |
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| UmmWafi |
| 06/03/02 at 12:58:56 |
| Dear Sis Mwishka Strong and invicible Solehah ? Huh ? Uhhhh.... Yes Soleha means the good one. Its my daughter's name. Her full name is Amani Solehah meaning (loosely) the good one who is my hope and dreams :) We call her Solehah. She used to call herself Sol but now she insists everyone calls her by her full name. Thank u for your kind words. They mean something :) Wassalam. |
| Re: I pray |
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| mwishka |
| 06/03/02 at 19:32:17 |
| (i've sent for mujaahid, i think i need some help here........ :'( ) |
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