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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Getting physical before marriage? |
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| Anonymous |
| 06/03/02 at 01:31:23 |
| Assalamalekum Warahmatulahi Wa barakatuhu, Sisters there is something bothering me for past six months. I kissed my husband ( actually he came on to me) a day before our marriage, when we were moving my stuff to the hotel. I was legally married ( according to american law) but not islamcially married yet. The part thats botherin me is that i wear hijab and tries my best to follow islam, then how come i failed in this test. But then many ppl have told me, that since it was a day before, marriage, its not a sin, may be makhroo, but i'm not satisfied with this answer. Have i commited a major sin and if i have, how should i repent.? |
| 06/03/02 at 01:32:06 |
| Anonymous |
| Re: Getting physical before marriage? |
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| Kathy |
| 06/03/02 at 06:04:38 |
| [slm] During your American wedding... did your dad or wali know about this wedding and did they approve? Was there a gift given by your hubby? and finally were there two witnesses? |
| Re: Getting physical before marriage? |
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| bhaloo |
| 06/03/02 at 09:06:30 |
| [slm] Sheikh Munajjid was asked the following question and responded: Question: i searched through all the relevent sections but i could not find the answer for my question.so i am asking it here. i was engaged to my present wife. and during the engagement period (before Nikah) we used to meet and touch and kiss and fondle with each other.. etc . but we never committed an intercourse. and later on we married. now i came accross the ayat of sura Noor for which some scholars say that a couple who had committed Zinna with each other, then they can not marry each other. another related question is that in some parts of pakistan people use to renew their marraige contract (Nikah) without any sharee requirement. Is it permissible to renew ones Nikah if the earlier nikah is still valid. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The marriage contract is valid and it is no need from an Islamic point of view to renew it simply because of a doubt. But what is mentioned in the first part of the question, about kissing the woman during the engagement period – if this was before the marriage contract (‘aqd or nikaah), then it is haraam. The same applies to being stimulated manually by the woman. But if it was after the marriage contract then there is nothing wrong with kissing. With regard to adulterers marrying one another, there is nothing wrong with that, after waiting out an ‘iddah period and after both parties have repented. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Women impure are for men impure… and women of purity are for men of purity…” [al-Noor 24:26 - Yoosuf ‘Ali’ translation of the meaning]. Repentance is essential on the part of both, but it is not permissible to conclude the marriage contract until after the waiting-period and making sure that the woman is not pregnant as a result of zinaa. Once that has been established, there is no reason why they should not marry one another. In your case, as you describe it in the question, there is no need to repeat the marriage contract, but you must both repent to Allaah for the forbidden relationship which you engaged in before you were married. And Allaah knows best. |
| Re: Getting physical before marriage? |
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| jannah |
| 06/04/02 at 00:06:43 |
| [wlm] [quote] part thats botherin me is that i wear hijab and tries my best to follow islam, then how come i failed in this test.[/quote] sister you should not blame yourself, we will always make mistakes this is part of our humanity and had we been people who did not make mistakes Allah would create others to take our place. Allah loves people who if they make mistakes, they repent and come back to Him out of love and devotion. and if they do this in the correct sincere manner their mistake is wiped out completely like it had never been. so about this repentance, you are taking the first step which is finding out if what happenned was wrong or not. after this you may have to take the steps of repentance. in the words of scholars repentance is.... [i][color=green] "To uproot oneself from sin at present, to resolve not to repeat it in the future and to feel remorse over its occurrence in the past. Then if someone's right has been violated, one should return his due (like money, etc.)"[/i][/color] [color=teal] Ibn Masood says: 'sincere repentance is when there is no return to the sin just as there is no return for milk into the udder' Saeed ibn Jubair says: 'It is the repentance which is accepted and that is with three conditions: the fear that it will not be accepted; the hope that it will be and addiction (thereafter) to obedience." Hasan says: 'Sincere repentance is to hate that sin that one likes and to seek forgiveness when one remembers it.' Saeed ibn Musaiyib says: 'It is a repentance with which one counsels oneself.' Kalbi says: 'Sincere repentance is to regret from one's heart; to seek forgiveness with one's tongue; to uproot the sin and to be sure that one will not return to it.' Qurzi says: 'It comprises four elements: Asking for forgiveness with the tongue; to uproot from the body; to resolve not to commit it again and to leave bad company.' [/color] and so on. These quotes are from a beautiful little booklet called "Sincere Repentance" by Imam Ghazali, Ibn al Qayyim and Hanbali. Please see if you can purchase this book. It is of amazing benefit. take care inshaAllah |
| 06/04/02 at 00:11:00 |
| jannah |
| Re: Getting physical before marriage? |
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| Barr |
| 06/04/02 at 01:36:16 |
| Assalamu'alaikum :-) Sis Jannah's post reminded me of this... [quote]The part thats botherin me is that i wear hijab and tries my best to follow islam, then how come i failed in this test. [/quote] Just as Nabi Adam would not have known repentance and forgiveness, if he hadn't approached the tree, we too wouldn't be humbled and taste the sweetness of repentance and forgiveness, if we didn't fall too. Allahua'lam Take care, sister :-) |
| 06/04/02 at 01:40:31 |
| Barr |
| Re: Getting physical before marriage? |
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| Change |
| 06/04/02 at 14:46:12 |
| Assalamu 'Alaikum If my memory serves me right there is a particular verse in the quran that was revealed because a man kissed a ghair mahram woman and he was filled with remorse, I think it's this one, I'll double check for you insha allah. "And establish regular prayers at the two ends of the day, and at the approaches of the night: For those things that are good remove those that are evil; Be that the word of remembrance to those who remember(their lord)"(The Holy Qur'an 11: 114) |
| Re: Getting physical before marriage? |
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| muqaddar |
| 06/08/02 at 10:56:36 |
| [slm] whats important here is that you have sincerely repented I think most muslims here will pray that allah subhanatalla forgives you Wish you every success in your marriage |
| Re: Getting physical before marriage? |
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| pakiprncess |
| 07/08/02 at 16:14:59 |
| asalaam alaikum my long lost boardmates :) gosh, i havent been here in ages...i feel kinda guilty :( sorry yall! anyways, i looked n looked n looked, but i cant find an answer to this question...this post was the closest thing to it: how does one repent for fornification? a muslim sis i know used to date and she went well beyond the limitations of islam with a number of guys, but she is really regretful for her mistakes and wants to repent. another brother i know fasted an entire year for each premaritial relation he had....knowing how merciful the Almighty is, however, i dont think that is a requirement. does anyone know what the proper/mandatory way to repent for fornification is (if there even is such a thing)? plz include a source too, if possible. jazakallah khair! ps..i know i should be posting this in another section, but did anyone see that 20/20 from like 2 weeks ago, about the laughing israeli boys in a white van on top of a building by the world trade center on 9/11? isnt it a bit odd how they got off so easily? ::) |
| Re: Getting physical before marriage? |
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| siddiqui |
| 07/09/02 at 13:52:30 |
| [slm] I just want to pick up another part of the thread does getting married the"american way" is legal in the Islamic way"without the cultural aspect"?? [wlm] |
| 07/09/02 at 13:53:06 |
| siddiqui |
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