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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| what do men want? |
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| muslimah_bham |
| 06/08/02 at 01:25:29 |
| [slm] i know this may seem weird but im really want to know what men want? im going to be getting married inshaallah soon, but im realy anxious cos i have no idea how im suppose to please this guy. i dont think i understand the way the male species think, cos i have only one male in my house hold but hes no help at all. i know that generally men dont want the same thing, but the way men think, isnt that simlar? this all may seem alittle weird, but any suggestions are welcome. jazakallah khair :-) |
| Re: what do men want? |
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| dirt |
| 06/08/02 at 04:18:02 |
| [wlm] Alhumdulillah! Mubarak on your upcoming wedding! May Allah bless you and your new family and may Allah give you a wonderful marriage. Your question is so broad. When you ask what men want, what exactly do you mean? Can you be a little more specific? You want to know how men think in general terms. This is tough because I only know how one man thinks and that man is me. It is tough to generalize about what "men" want. Every time someone tells me they know what men want or what women want.....I can show them a score of men and women who want the exact opposite. Every person, whether man or woman, is different. Sure there are generalities but generalities are dangerous as there always seem to be exceptions to the general rule of thumb. It would be better to ask, "What does THIS man want?" In my opinion the best way to find that out is to learn from observation, to communicate openly and honestly with him, and concerning lesser issues like cooking and such, you can ask his parents, especially the mother. If you want to please your husband, follow the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah and Insha'Allah, everything will be wonderful. Of course, take my advice with a grain of salt as I am not married yet. I hope this helps somewhat. Please forgive me if it is a little vague. ;-) |
| 06/08/02 at 07:37:03 |
| dirt |
| Re: what do men want? |
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| simba |
| 06/10/02 at 10:44:44 |
| Actually, after reading the brother's advice, I would say take it with more than a grain of salt. Take it to heart! The best thing you can possibly do to please your husband is ALWAYS keep an open line of communication with him, be ABSOLUTELY honest, and ASSUME NOTHING. If you are honest with him, he'll be honest with you. Always be receptive to what he says. Remember that constructive criticism is NOT dissappointment, its NOT admonition, and its NOT domination. Its constructive criticism. Most men, if they are not happy with something, will generally let you know. Chances are, they will tell you straight up, or they will tell you in a joke or sarcastic manner. Always remember, there is always SOME truth in jest. Remember that if you expect that your husband will follow the example of the prophet(saw) in trying to be a good husband, you must follow the example of his wives while trying to please him. Before you become disheartened by his behavior, saying, "The prophet(saw) did such and such, and would never behave this way", remember to say, "Ayesha and Khadija did such and such, am I behaving this way?" Marriage, as with anything else, is a test. It is another series of actions by which Allah(swt) will judge you. You will answer for yourself and your actions, and he will answer for himself and his actions. In the end, Allah(swt) ALWAYS serves justice, so don't try to enforce the justice yourself. Finally, there are women who feel that if she does the VERY minimum according to the sunnah, then her husband should be pleased because if Allah(Swt) permitted her to just fulfill those few duties, then why should he expect ANY more than what Allah(swt) expects. This train of thought is very wrong. Allah(swt) doesn't expect the very minimum. He accepts the very minimum. Remember there is a HUGE difference. assalamu'alaikum a rahmatullah |
| Re: what do men want? |
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| muslimah_bham |
| 06/11/02 at 00:36:46 |
| [slm] jazakallahkhair for you help, both of you i have found both of advices useful. :) :-) |
| Re: what do men want? |
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| mujaahid |
| 06/12/02 at 09:24:00 |
| [slm] I dont know about others but my preference in order of preference are these 1) Deen 2) Honesty 3) Caring 4) Funny (funny looking is a bonus) She should be a nice person, friendly, warm and caring, and being able to cook is a bonus. I would want my wife to be someone i enjoy being with as in funny etc. Mujaahid |
| Re: what do men want? |
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| Zara |
| 06/24/02 at 05:48:53 |
| a supermodel in hijab lol :D |
| Re: what do men want? |
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| eleanor |
| 06/24/02 at 08:36:36 |
| [slm] [quote author=simba link=board=bro;num=1023513930;start=0#2 date=06/10/02 at 10:44:44]Always be receptive to what he says. Remember that constructive criticism is NOT dissappointment, its NOT admonition, and its NOT domination. Its constructive criticism. [/quote] This was an excellent post from (Brother?) Simba... This is something which occurs often. The husband, being a man, points out mistakes that the wife makes, and tells her how she should do it right. She thinks he is just trying to show her who is boss. Sadly this happens to me all the time, but it is something I am working on. Thank you for this post. It's made me start thinking on the right track again :) wasalaam eleanor :-* |
| Re: what do men want? |
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| sam |
| 07/02/02 at 09:50:24 |
| [slm] i agree with eleanor that the brother known as simba has made an excellent point. whenever my husband told me to do things a certain way and that the way i was doing them before was not ver effective, i would get upset. but as the brother has said... that constructive criticism is NOT dissappointment, its NOT admonition, and its NOT domination. so now i will remember this...but i must add...that there is no harm in using a freindly tone when telling your wife that what she is doing is not very effective....there is no need to show annoyance as she is a completely different person and will not always think like her husband. |
| Re: what do men want? |
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| muqaddar |
| 08/04/02 at 17:55:26 |
| [slm] ok i've had to rewrite this to clarify what i mean! 1) a woman who can have a argument but dosn't hold a grudge like poison 2) she cares for my honour and reputation like i care for hers 3) she is courageous enough to tell me when i'm wrong without telling everybody else first! 4) she knows her own faults and some of mine 5) she can cook at least ONE thing really well ! 6) and she knows that looks are more important than nagging when dealing with a bloke Mubarak ! hope the bloke will try hard as you...go easy on his self confidence unmarried men have strange ideas 9mostly picked up from uninformed friends and stupid books about what women want ! he'll be just as nervous as you |
| 08/04/02 at 18:09:46 |
| muqaddar |
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