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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Help |
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| nemo |
| 06/19/02 at 20:21:49 |
| Who makes these changes? I shoot an arrow right. It lands left. I go to rescue a deer and find myself Chased by dogs. I dig pits to catch my dreams And fall in. Yet I cry in pain from others’ torments And my sorrow evaporates. I weep for love of God and my tears Dry in an instant. I strike my heart And it hurts my hand. I do not love. I do not hate. I do not hope. I do not despair. I have lost my heart And can’t seem to care. ________________ This is a genuine plea, brothers and sisters. I don’t feel as if I care about anything one way or another – and strangely, I can think of no valid reason why this should be so. My mind fears becoming hard-hearted as the enemies of Islam of whom Allah speaks in the Quran, but there is no emotion to accompany it…how can I remain a believer like this? |
| Re: Help |
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| mwishka |
| 06/19/02 at 21:59:42 |
| brother nemo, you are not lost, merely waylaid. your graceful ability to express your state reveals to me that you yet retain some small degree of objective perspective on yourself. you're aware at this point that things make no sense to you, as they seem to be happening around you or to you, yet you also are aware of the possibility that something has somehow hardened your heart to god. you haven't lost your ability to believe, only to feel deeply. i'm not muslim, so the advice i would give you might not sound like what you might expect to hear here. i am sure that there is indeed a "valid" reason why this is happening to you, and i think you need to take some time to try to figure out what could induce a sense of hopelessness in you, which is what often leads to a lack of ability to feel. i think you might get different advice from the brothers and sisters here, some of it recommending you to ask for god's forgiveness and to try to repent for everything you have done wrong knowingly and unknowingly. i was once told by a friend that it is frequently the overindulgence in one of four things that causes the heart to harden: food, sleep, sex, or speech. perhaps this will help you to look into whatever is so troubling you that you feel almost unlike a believer. i wish you well, and i'm sure others here will be able to offer you more islamically based insights into what might best aid you to recover from where you find yourself now. mwishka |
| Re: Help |
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| Kathy |
| 06/20/02 at 22:30:44 |
| [slm] I used to feel this same way. And then Allah swt sent me one trial after another. ..then after I knew pain... did the tears for others come....and my hopes and dreams... |
| 06/20/02 at 22:32:16 |
| Kathy |
| Re: Help |
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| mwishka |
| 06/22/02 at 09:10:04 |
| brother nemo, i now recognize your words... ;) i hope you're doing better than you were, and that other changes than those you describe will appear around you soon, changes which will re-orient rather than disorient you. mwishka |
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