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| A Predicament~~help me |
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| Anonymous |
| 06/22/02 at 22:05:56 |
| [slm] Iam sure this must have been discussed in length and many people are going through this too I need your input and advice I was approached by a family with a marrige proposal for their kid and asked me to convey it to my parents Well I did and my parents didnt take it too kindly cuaz of the cultural diffrences (although we come from the same country originally) Iam a desi with considerable 'cultural baggage' :) and the other person has been brought up here ABCD? ;) excuse me.They say they are against it for they say the cultural diffrence dosent make it comaptible and they have a big log to prove it (and wouldnt realise compatability is a gift of Allah swt and back home marriges fail too),but they say if Iam hell bent on it.I can go ahead. The thing is its not and Iam not in love or such kind with this person but I respect this person immensly for knowledge and taqwa and think would make a good spouse. My parental dissent is complete and they wont budge except if Iam in love or hell bent on the proposal which Iam neither,and on the other hand feel immensly sad :( to say NO and miss such an opportunity Time is clicking and I have to answer that family PLEASE help me [was] |
| Re: A Predicament~~help me |
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| zomorrud |
| 06/23/02 at 12:25:53 |
| assalamu alaikum, pray istikharah first. then try to find out more about this person from the his/her friends and or acquaintances. it seems to me that your family are giving you some room to take a personal decision about this matter. i guess you are just afraid of taking the wrong decision alone, then being blamed for it. but to take decisions and accept the consequences is all part of being grown up. there is no escape from it. that is why you have to rely on Allah (swt) only and put your trust in Him. do your homework about the person in question, if it is possible try to correspond with him/her with the intention of marriage and knowing more about them. ask PLENTY of questions! try to get a feel about the character of the prospective. consult trusted friends who will give you unbiased opinions, even though they are friends. and give yourself plenty of time to consider and reconsider. never feel that you're pressed for time, or alone. if the person who is proposing is serious about this, he/she will understand. hope this helps. take care |
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