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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| not my place but i'll ask nywayz.. |
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| nur-ul-aain |
| 06/30/02 at 22:11:07 |
| [slm] bros, i feel kindda awkward being in this chat area but i thought i'd just ask for the sake of knowing..ya know :P i dont know maybe it's just me but i get the feeling that many times bros get real hesitant in any type of communication, be it formal or informal (but i'm focusing on the formal...trying to keep it halal :D) when it comes to sisters who dawn the hijaab. Have y'all noticed that too or done so as well?? i pray i'm not intruding but i find it kindda silly, since i myself am a hijabi/hijabun :-) at times it makes me feel uncomfortable to see bros who talk to me act as if they're walkin on real thin ice.... just something i've noticed and picked up by experience..maybe i'm looking too much into this whole crazy scenerio..prolly cuz of all 'em communication classes i'm taking...anywho.. peace be with ya, nur ul aain :-) |
| Re: not my place but i'll ask nywayz.. |
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| The_Naeem |
| 07/01/02 at 10:56:19 |
| Salaams, Good question. Well I think for some it's a matter of adaab, some brothers are really really convervative and some are way loose, and then you have some in the middle. But if you ask me, I think it's the sisters. The muslim woman is an enigma for muslim men or actually for the whole world. Some have no problem being approach for the simplest thing by a brother, while some run at the sight of a guy walking there way, some may even be hostile to you if you approach them. So what I think happens for the brothers is that they hope for the best but expect the worst. We don't know what will happen. Personally for me, I deal with people all the time from all over the spectrum, so I try my best to not look like I have ice water running through my vein when talking to anyone. |
| Re: not my place but i'll ask nywayz.. |
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| nur-ul-aain |
| 07/01/02 at 19:21:24 |
| walaikum salaam bro, jazkallah khair...well said and it's an issue. Like recently i was at this youth prgrm right and we were discussing modesty...many sisters were confused as to why the bros use a kindda double standard while talking to sister..if the girls is a hijabi their reaction is different whereas, if she werent they would feel more comfortable..Allahu alim.. it was just something i thought i'd ask..though in my opinion both types of sisters deserve the same respect by Muslim brothers...ya know just illustrating the beauty of our deen and emulating the traditions of our beloved Rasul saws.. peace out, nur :-) |
| Re: not my place but i'll ask nywayz.. |
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| The_Naeem |
| 07/02/02 at 09:30:36 |
| Salaams, You know there is another thing too. I grew up in a community where basically there was no such thing as someone who didn't cover, I mean like my sisters, their friends, my mom, and her friends. A couple of the kids bugged out once they left home but that was after we all grew up I guess. So hijabis for me is nothing out of the ordinary. But you go to some places where girls don't cover, these hijabis are looked at like Nuns. I'm serious, I remember when I was younger I made some funny remark to some sister at a masjid and my buddy was like "HEY MAN SHE'S A HIJABI", and I was like "SO?". At the time I grew up with hijabis, right in my own home, I joked around with my sisters all the time, but since this sister was hijabi she was like the Queen Mum. I guess that concept became more relevant as I travelled around to other masjids than my own. In a world where more and more sisters don't cover, the few who do, are being turned into NUNS. |
| Re: not my place but i'll ask nywayz.. |
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| nur-ul-aain |
| 07/02/02 at 21:36:59 |
| [slm] subhan'allah..to see and grow up with hijabis :-) yea i get wut u're saying bro and it does make sense...i guess it really does depend how much exposure one gets to hijabness :D i feel some bros think that proper adaab should be followed while conversing with such an overt believer (if i may say)...ya know keeps them in check with what our deen teaches..though i wish that many more try to practice the same adaab at all times.. peace out akhi, nur ul aain :-) |
| Re: not my place but i'll ask nywayz.. |
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| Kashif |
| 07/03/02 at 04:11:07 |
| assalaamu alaikum I think if a brother has what is perceived as 'double standards' it can only be judged on a case by case basis. The fact is that dealing with a sister, and dealing with a non-muslim lady can actually be two different experiences altogether. If you waved 'hi' to most non-Muslim women, i don't think they would think anything of it, and they wouldn't even give it a second thought, and just respond. And likewise with other simple acts of courtesy. But *some* Muslim sisters are really ajeeb. Some just don't want any contact with any brothers at all, and its probably the inability to distinguish between hijabis that are like this, and hijabis who aren't that a brother will act uncertain when speaking to them. There are some sisters who if i see them, there'll be an exchange of salaams and perhaps asking after the health of families etc. But there are sisters who are really different, and i wonder if any sister here might like to comment if i said a sister can actually end up being uncourteous by her 'never-speak-to-brother' attitude. I have two things in mind. One brother who i do da'wah work with, i have to drop some materials off to his house once a month. On 5 occasions i've visited the house and found the brother not at home, and his wife who was at home refused to open the door and take the material.. she just sent her kid to the door to tell me that the dad wasn't in and that they wouldn't open the door. Second, i was at Southall mosque once, and i was walking to the door of the masjid to leave, and a hijabi sister walked through on her way in... i was like two footsteps away from the door, and its one of those situations where you *expect* a person - regardless of whether you know them or not - to hold the door open for you. And the sister didn't. Even a few months later, that incident just bugs me. At the time i was about to turn to her and ask her if she thought it was haram to keep the door open for a non-mahram brother? If a sister doesn't want to talk to a brother if possible, fine, alhumdulillah, i don't have a problem with that. But she should bear in mind that people will notice when common acts of courtesy are neglected .... for example, holding open a door. Kashif Wa Salaam |
| NS |
| 07/03/02 at 04:21:10 |
| Kashif |
| Re: not my place but i'll ask nywayz.. |
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| nur-ul-aain |
| 07/03/02 at 16:47:29 |
| [slm] point well made bro kashif..i totally understand what u're saying and believe u me i've seen it.. there's this whole weird concept around hijab and how one should act..but that isnt the discussion here.. but u are right...it's a case to case type of scenerio..we should all strive to do things that help us attain the pleasure of Allah swt... masalaama, nur :-) |
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