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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| How much love is enough? |
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| Anonymous |
| 07/03/02 at 12:48:10 |
| selamun aleykum have any of u having difficulities in showing your love towards someone/anyone? Allah swt knows how much one love Him cause Allah swt knows one innerheart very well unlike human beings. just bcs someone does not love u the way u wanted, does that mean he/she does not love u at all or love u with all they have? how can u tell? how do we know/tell the feelings one have inside? sorry for the detour up there..i'm just confuse bout something. when i firstly met a good and practicing bro, i wasnt a practicing sis, unfortunately:(. he knows that and he still wanted me to be a good and live my life as a good muslimah. honestly from a non practicing person like me, i sometimes find him tough - full of restrictions etc but deep inside i knew those things are necessities in a muslimah life so i fought that tough feelings and tried very hard to go on with things he wished me to be. actually my deep feelings for him helped a lot. after we started discussing bout marriage i became more motivated cause i wanna prepare myself as the kind of woman/wife any good bro would wished for. bcs of misunderstanding i did something against his wishes and made him upset unfortuantely. it was after this , he started questioning bout my feelings for him. he said i dont love him the way he love me and never believe that i have ever love him at all. of course the marriage thing became at stake. he said he love me so much that if i asked him to kill himself , he would. isnt that contradict for a good and practicing bro? later he talked bout another woman who really understand him very well unlike me. he didnt love her but she is ever willing to do anything for him and its much easier for her to be 'corrected'by him too. she would even jump from the window if he asked to. am i not being understanding if i'm not willing to do as the girl would? i dunno if he really expect me to jump from a window cause with all the love i have for him, i will never kill myself for him cause i know Allah swt forbid anykind of suicide. Allah swt knows how much i love him but i'm just not willing to sacrifice my believe for that love. what makes a good and practicing bro look at love that way? how much love is enough for him? wasalam remorseful sister |
| Re: How much love is enough? |
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| M.F. |
| 07/03/02 at 14:20:23 |
| Bismillah, Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah, It sounds to me that this brother equates feeling love with proving it by actions, and for some very wierd dark reason his highest proof of love is killing oneself for love (while I see that killing oneself is the highest proof of weakness). I wonder why that is? How come this is the strongest proof for him? Does he want a person to love him so much that they would go against Allah's wishes? So what about this other woman? Is he trying to make you feel threatened, jealous by mentioning her or what? Is he telling you he wants you to be more like her and show your feelings by actions, or is he telling you he might consider marrying her because she loves him so much. It almost seems as though he doesn't want to be in a situation where he's the one who loves more strongly, since he told you he doesn' t believe you love him the way he loves you but she loves him etc etc. So how does he want you to prove his love, that's what it all boils down to. You're not married so there's not many ways you can show your love by actions. What does he want? Again that you go against Allah's commands? Are you asking how do you know you really love him? Some people say that if you have to ask, then you don't :) but honestly I don't think anyone can tell you what love feels like. And also I honestly believe one doesn't know what love feels like till after you're married. So, have I confused you a little more? ;) It seems that there are a few things to think about before you get married to him. What you're telling us makes him sound like something of a controller, but that's just from the few lines you wrote and there's no way of judging him just from that of course. |
| Re: How much love is enough? |
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| siddiqui |
| 07/03/02 at 16:16:43 |
| [slm] EK LAFZ E MOHABBAT KA ADNA SA YEH FASNA HAI SIMATAE TK DIL AASHIQ BIKHARE TO ZAMANNA HAI YESH ISHQ NAHIN ASAAN ITNA TO SAMJH LEEJIYE YEH AAG KA DARIYA HAI IS MIEN DOOB KE JANAA HAI please dont take this literally its just a metaphoroc urdu sher/couplet "THE WORD LOVE IS A VERY SIMPLE STORY RESTRICT IT AND ITS THE HEART OF THE BELOVED FREE IT AND ITS THE WHOLE WORLD BEING IN LOVE ISNT VERY EASY,TRY AND UNDERSTAND THIS FACT ITS SEA OF FLAMES THROUGH WHICH ONE MUST SWIM TO ATTAIN IT" may allah swt bless you with what is khair ameen [wlm] |
| Re: How much love is enough? |
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| bhaloo |
| 07/03/02 at 20:52:15 |
| [slm] What kind of question is this to even be asking? ??? You shouldn't even be engaged in this type of relationship with a man before marriage. He is willing to kill himself for you? He is willing to do something that will send him to hell for eternity? How crazy. [quote] what makes a good and practicing bro look at love that way? how much love is enough for him? [/quote] Someone that has some serious problems and that is being controlled by his desires and emotions, obeying the creation instead of obeying the Creator. |
| Re: How much love is enough? |
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| Fatimah |
| 07/04/02 at 01:59:24 |
| salam alaikum sis, I agree with bhaloo 100%. You should not be having a premarital relationship like this. If you would like, I can post the way you supose to deal with your fiance. Also.. Allah knows best, but this man doesnt sound too practicing to me. I mean, first he is talking to two woman in a way he shouldnt be doing in Islam, and he's saying he would do suicide which is haram and would put himself in the fire..for love?. Doesnt sound good to me sis. |
| Re: How much love is enough? |
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| Kashif |
| 07/04/02 at 06:37:17 |
| wa alaikum us-salaam [quote]later he talked bout another woman who really understand him very well unlike me. he didnt love her but she is ever willing to do anything for him and its much easier for her to be 'corrected'by him too. she would even jump from the window if he asked to.[/quote] Alarm bells ringing. It seems to me that this other relationship is a bit too close for comfort. I think you need to have a frank talk with this brother and define the limits of what is acceptable both Islamically and to yourselves, in two respects: 1) What is the correct distance/closeness you should keep between each other in respect of the fact that you are unmarried - and thus in Islamic Law - an unrelated man & woman. 2) What is the correct distance/closeness you should keep between members of yourselves and other members of the opposite sex. If you're planning to marry this brother, you know now what he is like, and what his peculiarities are, and bear in mind that you would see this up & close if you were to marry him. Kashif Wa Salaam |
| NS |
| 07/04/02 at 06:39:24 |
| Kashif |
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