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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Kicking the habit ... |
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| Anonymous |
| 07/03/02 at 12:57:16 |
| Asalaamu aleikoum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh Brothers and sisters, please make dua for me. I have, Alhamdulillah, finally made the decision to give up smoking. After Jummuah prayer today, I made an oath that I would give up the evil weed (tobacco, that is). I'm posting this in case there are any other "addicts" out there who want to join me in my monkey-off-my-back-ness. I'm posting anonymously because I don't want to come completely out of the closet, as it were. So, here's my plan for giving up: 1. Don't smoke any more cigarettes. 2. That's it. Simple huh? Seriously, here's how I arrived at my quitting. 1. Decide finally to give up. Not as easy as it sounds: that's what makes most people fail to give up. They don't really WANT to give up. I do. Here's three good reasons why: (a) To earn the pleasure of Allah. If I quit smoking because it is "makruh" (at least) or "haraam" then, Insha Allah, if my intention is correct, I can earn myself some reward. (b) Health reasons. Both personally and because, Insha Allah, I would like a family soon. Far better equipped to be a parent when you don't smoke. (c) Where does the money go? Tobacco companies really are low on morals (treat that as a euphemism). Smoking only lines their pockets and helps them fund their dispicable activities like aiding Israel, persuading kids in Africa to start smoking and pretending that tobacco doesn't hurt you really. 2. Make an oath to give up. Man, I prevaricated for ages before doing this. I had to be sure that I could stick to the oath once I made it. Insha Allah, I'll do it. Making the oath gives a solemnity to it all. 3. Make dua. Immediately after making the oath, I supplicated to Allah, subhana wa t'ala, for the strength to stick to it. 4. Make more dua. When I begin feeling that I want a cigarette, I'll make dua, Insha Allah. If it goes on, I'll go and say a couple of rakats. 5. Keep occupied. The devil does, indeed, make work for idle hands. Smoking is one of his many activities for idle hands. For those amongst you who have never smoked, I can tell you this: being physically addicted to nicotene is not the worst part. Unless you smoke loads and have done so for years and years, it's not so bad and passes relatively easily. The worst thing is the psychological addiction: actually wanting to smoke. My mind throws up some fantastic excuses for a smoke: "Oh, I always think well when I'm smoking, it clears my mind"; "I really enjoy a cigarette after a meal"; "It's really sociable" and loads of others. Each and every one a nasty whisper from the shaytan. 6. Go public. Okay, so I've only gone semi-public here but you get the idea. I'll check in every couple of days to let you know how I'm getting on. So, like I say, please brothers and sisters, make dua for me. Wa salaam |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| M.F. |
| 07/03/02 at 14:01:57 |
| Assalamu alaikum, May Allah ta'ala help you in your decision, and make you strong in sticking to it. You're doing it with a very pure niyah and that pretty much guarantees Allah's help on it :) It's great that you're going public with it. This'll make you more inclined to stick to your decision because you know we'll be bugging you--I mean encouraging you- every once in a while to make sure you're sticking with it :) |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| Saffiyah |
| 07/03/02 at 15:57:15 |
| [slm] May Allah (SWT) make it easier for u. Like u said, keeping urself busy is essential. Try to surround urslef with ppl who don't smoke eg other brothers. Try to engage in Islamic activities to help yourself and others (eg, the youth) Inshallah this will also help u 2 remember Allah (SWT) at all times and earn u rewards. Also remeber that smoking, as well as affecting ur health, affects the health of others. And think of all the money u would save....u could give it to charity or save it for ur future family. As adults, we have to be an example to our muslim youth, so they don't have a chance to turn around and say 'well i saw him do it'. I can understand that it is very smoking can be addictive and stopping is very hard, so inshallah, with ur good intentions and actions, u will be able to stop and earn some rewards as well, inshallah. [wlm] |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| bhaloo |
| 07/03/02 at 20:54:23 |
| [slm] Let us know how you are doing now and how things are going. We're here to help and support you, insha'Allah you will be able to quit smoking. |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| Addison |
| 07/04/02 at 18:54:31 |
| Dear Anonymous smoke-ender, First of all, I would like to CONGRATULATE you on your decision to quit!! (Do you not feel somewhat improved in your person already?? It gets better... ) You DO want to come out of the closet or you would not be posting!! COME OUT! It's OK!! YOU CAN DO IT....!!!! And you are right about people who quit (again and again...) Don't you love the people who are always quitting, but who insist on getting that one last cigarette from you?: "I thought you quit?" "I did." "So what is this about?" "Just a couple puffs. I'm not going to smoke the whole thing." "Did you quit or NOT?" Honestly, it sounds like "slightly pregnant" or "sort of married." I quit three years ago, Sept. 9th (at 2347hrs, 23 seconds....) I did the same thing that you did. I quit "cold turkey" as they say here...The easiest way to do it too ( I think, just as you did...) and that was to make an oath to G-d that I would never do it again. It is the best way, because I know that whatever happens, no matter how I am tempted, that I will not smoke again because I have made a promise and I am bound by it. It is as simple as that. Who would be so bold as to go back on an oath made to G-d??? Having said that, let me also tell you that I could EAT one right now.... What I mean is that it can take a great while for the craving to go away. I am told that there are medicinal therapies available to help you with the cravings and you may or may not want to look into that, however, I have colleagues who say that the patches worked really well... You are absolutely correct about the psychological aspects of this dependency, and I EMPATHIZE with you completely, however, it WILL get better. You will have more strength to fight your desire to smoke when you see how much healthier you will become. And do not believe what some people might tell you about weight gain after cessation... It simply is not true (unless you decide to eat every time you want a cigarette!!!) You WILL feel better. You CAN do it. You have made up your mind - the greater part of your battle has been fought. And for the record, you can be "Anonymous" if it makes you feel more comfortable, but I have found the folks at jannah to be about the most supportive and magnanimous people whom one would ever encounter! So don't be afraid!! Everyone will pray for you to be strong!! FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!!! (And always remember that G-d will not allow you to be "tried" beyond your capacity to resist.) Take care, KEEP IN TOUCH!! Respectfully, Addison |
| NS |
| 07/04/02 at 18:55:17 |
| Addison |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| Anonymous |
| 07/06/02 at 02:06:41 |
| slm] brothers and sisters I'm not sure whether this will come up as a new post or a reply to my post above but I just thought I'd give you an update. By the grace of Allah, I have gone one week without a cigarette. From my limited understanding, I believe that there is now no nicotene in my blood anymore. Alhamdulillah. Having said that, I still think of having the odd crafty puff every now and then. Jazka Allah Khair to you all for your kind wishes and duas (and, sister Adison, your empathy). Wa Salaam |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| Addison |
| 07/06/02 at 03:14:45 |
| Dear Anonymous smoke-ender, ONE WEEK!!! WAY TO GO!!!!! We will all keep praying for you to be strong. It's very difficult at first and you are DOING IT!! YOU SEE???? Tell as many people as you can so that you will be even less tempted to start up again. DON"T GIVE UP!! You are doing GREAT!!! Take good care of yourself, and try to be patient! It WILL get better... You CAN do it!! Best regards, Respectfully, Addison |
| NS |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| Anonymous |
| 07/07/02 at 04:03:43 |
| Assalamu 'alaikum! Congratulations on quitting! What helped me when I quit (smoked for 8 years...smoke free for 3 Alhamdulillah!) was a tradition I had heard (I do not know if it is hadith...it could be just a nice story -- maybe someone could let me know???): that the Prophet (SAW) suggested that if you stop a bad habit, or instate a good habit for 40 days, you will keep doing it for life. So I counted 40 days, and Alhamdulillah, never felt the urge! Keep it up, you can do it! Wasalaam |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| sabirah |
| 07/07/02 at 19:28:08 |
| [slm] Mabruk and congrats on coming to the decision to quit, and sticking to it. I smoked for 5 yrs and it was really hard to quit but alhamdulillah I did. I know what you've been through and probably will be going through for a while, but Inshallah Ta' Ala you will only become more firm with time and be able to help others to make the right decision. Personally for me, it was the whole idea of being "addicted" that led me to quit. We were created to worship Allah SWT ALONE and when we let the physical urge of a deadly addiction take precedence over preserving our bodies, we are definitely displeasing Allah SWT and setting a bad example. So Inshallah Ta'Ala you will be an inspiration to others and you will stand firm in your wonderful and wise decision. Fi Aman Allah Emily |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| Kathy |
| 07/07/02 at 22:34:39 |
| [slm] I was a heavy smoker too and about 8 years and 8 months ago I quit....AlHumdullillah! My best advice is to stay away from smokers... they want company! The other day I was in a car and my friend went inside to the bank for a second. She left her cigs in the car. Oh how I wanted one, just one puff, it was horrible as if I was on drugs! I actually had to say many duas sitting there. I just wanted one puff....no one would know... I was going to an Anual Dinner... ah the agony....ah the percieved immediate gratification.... Then all of a sudden I saw my son's eyes... looking at me in horror.... Subhana Allah... Allah swt answreed my duas and my friend came back and off we went.... |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| Aliya |
| 07/08/02 at 08:19:17 |
| Salam, Hope u will achieve ur goal. Insha'allah u will... May God guide is all. Aliya |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| amatullah |
| 07/08/02 at 13:44:02 |
| Bismillah and salam, I ask Allah to make it easy for you and to give tawfeeq in this persuit. I ask Allah to keep you steadfast in your decsion. Sadly i have been around a few who quited. It is not easy at first but know that with time it does get easier. If it doesnt work out right away don't be too discouraged, almost everyone i mentioned there had a few tries. There is an anti-deppressant pill called Zyban. It didn't work i guess for tha depression people but they realized they all quit smoking and so now it is for that purpose. It worked for everyone who tried that i know. THe closes person to me who took it, not smoking now for four years or so. Hope the same for you insha'Allah. |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| AyeshaZ |
| 07/11/02 at 12:27:40 |
| [quote author=Anonymous link=board=madrasa;num=1025715436;start=0#7 date=07/07/02 at 04:03:43]Assalamu 'alaikum! Congratulations on quitting! What helped me when I quit (smoked for 8 years...smoke free for 3 Alhamdulillah!) was a tradition I had heard (I do not know if it is hadith...it could be just a nice story -- maybe someone could let me know???): that the Prophet (SAW) suggested that if you stop a bad habit, or instate a good habit for 40 days, you will keep doing it for life. So I counted 40 days, and Alhamdulillah, never felt the urge! Keep it up, you can do it! Wasalaam [/quote] The numer of days is forty based upon the verse in the Qur'an in which Allah(swt) promised to "meet" Musa (allahy-us-salam) after forty days. In his commentary, Imam Sawi says that this was b/c the complete service of the servant toward his lord and the gifts that result from his Lord are completed in forty days based upon the hadith " The completion of vigilance on the borders (ribaat) is forty days". Al-Sai 'ala al- Jalalayn, vol.1.p51. The hadith is narrated by Imam Tabraani and is weak according to Imam Suyuti in al-jami al-Saghir. However, the verse and its commentary strenghtens the meaning. Also, given that it is an exercise in order to achieve an obligation and nothing less, it is not an innovation but is similar to using an alarm colck to wake one from sleep for prayer. This is also from where the Jam'aat Tabligh derive the khuruuj of forty days. A habit can be firmly established in forty days, and according to the wisdom of early people, "Whoever lives with a people for forty days becomes one of them." Sh Humza Yusuf Hanson, "Agenda to Change our conditions" p29 ( May Allah(swt) protect him) W'Allahu A'lam InshaAllah all is going well with you and May Allah(swt) make your journey to a smoke-free life easy. InshaAllah. :) |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| Addison |
| 07/12/02 at 19:11:02 |
| Dear Anonymous smoke-ender, It is almost 1900hrs on the coast and I must retire for a few hours' sleep before I go in to work. When I awake, it will be on the anniversary of your second week....I hope that you are still going for it...How are you feeling?? Are you beginning to notice any difference in your physical health? Can you take a deeper breath? Walk an extra 1/2 mile? (Run to your car without being winded??) Are you hungry? Are you frustrated? Quick tempered? Jittery? Restless?? It WILL get better. Did you try a medicinal therapy? Something herbal? Something musical? ( Qur'anic recitations helped to heal me of something significant...I guess we all have our therapies...) Friend, ( if I may be so bold as to call you that,) I know that it is difficult, but DON'T GIVE UP!!! You CAN do it. You CAN!!! Keep us posted, Everyone is praying for you to BE STRONG!! With my respects, Addison |
| NS |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| sabirah |
| 07/16/02 at 13:54:18 |
| CHAT WITH A SMOKER Dear Brothers & Sisters: (The Smokers) I used to be a smoker for about 20 years and thanks to Allah, after I asked him to help me quit. I did quit and never went back as of since Septamber of 1995. Unfortunately, I am still taking Asthma Medications, thanks to Allah it could have been worse. As an Ex-Smoker, I would like to chat with a Smoker. (I wish that some one chatted with me before)!!! W Do you remember Allah when you Smoke? W Do you say Bism Allah when lighting a Cigarette? S Do you say Alhamdu to Allah (Thanking Allah) when distinguishing your Cigarette? T Do you have the intention to quit? T Is there any food or drink we should give it this attention and taking the Cigarette where ever we go? T Is it from the Sunnah to break your fast by smoking? T Do you have the intention to quit? T According to Cigarette Ingredients Reports declared that one of the ingredients is WINE, and if smoking Cigarette is "Macrooh", then what about the WINE? T There are two Angels, one in your right and one in your left. As we all know that good deeds and Halal will be taken care of by the Angel on the right and the Haram and bad deeds will be recorded by the left. Do you know who must record Smoking Cigarette? In which category smoking, because there is no Angel for Macrooh but the one who record bad deeds and good deeds.T In what category you consider Cigarettes? Do you have the intention to quit? If you see an Imam or a Scholar with a Cigarette in his hand, would you ask him for "Fatwa"? How do you feel praying behind such an Imam? T As it is known and clear that from the Sunnah to eat and drink using your right hand, in which hand you smoke your Cigarettes? T When a frind gives us a gift, we should to say to him "Jazak Allah Khairan". What do you say to someone offers you a Cigarette? T Do you have the intention to quit? T Have you ever seen any food or drink with a lable saying that "It is dangerious to your health"? T Have you ever ckecked if the Cigarette is "Expired Worning before buying? T If you insist that smoking is Macrooh, is Macrooh good to follow and to be Macrooh from Allah. May Allah gives you his guidance and the strength to quit. THE AMANA HEALTH COMMITTEE some one sent me this article and i thought of this particular post to forward it to....hope it is of use to someone. inshallah |
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| Addison |
| 07/22/02 at 21:41:46 |
| Dear Anonymous Smoke-ender, Week three??? How is it going?? Are you hanging in there?? You've been quiet...Don't give up, O.K.? You CAN do it! You CAN!!! All of us who have been there know how difficult it is...We are all thinking about you and we're still here , praying for you to BE STRONG!!! Don't stop trying!! ( Those who haven't "been there" are behind you too!!) Try not to be discouraged...It will get better...You CAN do this!! Let us know how you are doing... Take care of yourself... With kind regards, Addison |
| NS |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| Anonymous |
| 07/23/02 at 13:50:13 |
| [slm] Dear all, Many thanks for the support that you have shown me in my own little battle, may Allah reward you all with Good. Sister Addison, your concern is particularly touching and it is SO good to read words that are as polite and considerate as they are supportive and helpful. I gave up smoking on 28 June but I have to admit that I cracked on Thursday 11 July. My silence on this thread is due, in part, to this failure. I can assure you that the shame I feel in front of you brothers and sisters is nothing compared to the shame I feel in front of Allah. I could not keep my vow to Allah, preferring instead to listen to the whispers of shaytan. (As an aside, is there any particular expiation for breaking my vow? I've got mixed messages from the people I've asked.) Anyway, the "good" news is that the cigarettes that I smoked that Thursday (two, one after the other) tasted awful. This is probably not news at all for non-smokers among you but the (ex)smokers will know that that is a bit odd. Usually, the first cigarette in a long while tastes good ... But not these! Oddly enough, smoking that cigarette confirmed to me that I don't miss smoking, not at all. So, I went back inside, made wudhu, prayed for forgiveness. And began again. And, oh, by the way: I feel a lot better now that I've given up smoking. Cleaner, less smelly breath (oh smokers, if only you realised!!!), a little bit more puff (no pun intended). Oh Allah, I ask that you help me keep to the straight path and to ignore the whisperings of Shaytan. Salaam |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| Addison |
| 07/23/02 at 16:56:02 |
| Dear Anonymous Smoke-ender, So good to hear from you! I know that it was difficult for you to write what you did, and it was most courageous of you. Now listen... I think I quite well knew the meaning of your silence, as did others, but did you ever once feel that we were not still supporting you with our thoughts and prayers? I sincerely hope not! And if we,... how much more, HE.... I sometimes have the belief that our shame at our own shortcomings is indeed the greatest part of the punishmnet of having "failed" at a thing...But let us put off the use of this word "failure." It is most distasteful. G-d knows very well how you are trying and He will help you fight your temptation to take it up again. I started making little "X's" for you on my calendar when you first posted (now knowing the true starting date, I will amend it!) with "A-S-E"...After seeing it every day, I began to imagine that it stood for "Allah Senses your Eagerness." Silly, I know, but sometimes things come into your mind quite beyond your control...and then they just stay there...like a bad "jingle." Nevertheless, I am reminded that He is quite aware of our weaknessnes, but ever so willing to forgive us when we are truly mindful of Him. You keep trying "A-S-E"...you can make it. You WILL... I am happy to hear that you are feeling better in your health...So many subtle differences which will become more and more apparent...It WILL get better. Thank you again for checking in and for sharing with us. It is good of you to let us know when you are feeling weak, so that we can pray all the more for you!! Take care, With my respects, Addison |
| NS |
| 07/23/02 at 16:58:19 |
| Addison |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| mwishka |
| 07/28/02 at 20:04:41 |
| dear anon., i came across this today while looking for something completely unrelated - since it so specifically mentioned giving up smoking i thought it might be the kind of thing you were looking for. hope it helps, and that it is not so late as to be of no use..... mwishka """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" Rules Regarding Oath (Qasam) 2679. If a person takes an oath that he will perform an act (e.g. that he will fast) or will refrain from doing an act (e.g. that he will not smoke), but does not intentionally act according to his oath, he should give Kaffarah for it, which means he should set a slave free, or should fully feed ten indigent persons, or should provide them with clothes. And if he is not able to perform these acts, he should fast for three consecutive days. |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| theOriginal |
| 07/29/02 at 15:36:57 |
| [slm] I have an uncle who used to smoke more than any of you can imagine. And he did it for a lot longer than any of you can imagine. And he started a lot earlier than you can imagine. (I'm not going to give you figures, I have a reason for it, and I'm really sorry.) Point being, he quit cold turkey, on the insistence of his best friend (my grandfatrher). He said that it wasn't the craving that got to him, it was the absence of having something to do. (You know like in 35 below weather, when you can see your friends stepping outside to warm up with a cig? lol....always found it odd, but the psychology behind it is that they are filling up some sort of void.) So, he took up another habit, just to keep his hands busy. (no no, come on guys, be creative!) He started playing with Play-Doh!! All different colors, shapes, and sizes. He even used to make figures while driving. It was actually highly amusing for the rest of us. He hasn't smoked in 14 years. (there's always hope!) Best of luck, SF. |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| Addison |
| 08/07/02 at 19:57:51 |
| " finis coronat opus" ( the end crowns the work ) Dear Anonymous Smoke-ender, just checking in on you to see how you are doing....It's a month and a week or so...Did you try any of the treatments for cessation, or are you still going it on your own? You know right well that you are in our thoughts and prayers EVERY day...And we all will continue to pray for your strength as you continue to strive towards your goal. Do not give up. DO NOT GIVE UP!! Try, try, and keep on trying. You have GOT to be feeling a significant change in your person by now. Have you discovered any new ways to channel your energy? Have you considered keeping a journal? It helps sometimes if you have a way to "vent" that does not include other people ( those of us who have been where you are, are well aware of the tendency to take out our frustrations on innocent bystanders!!! ) Have you taken up a sport or hobby of some sort? You could be very near stumbling upon some hidden talent which could ultimately bring you great joy! You just never know how these things are going to work in your favor....!! Please do not dismiss the idea of getting on a program of some sort, even if it is something as simple as Nicorette ( this little gem helped my Aunt quit and she could have been the SPOKESPERSON for Brown and Williamson!! Honestly! This woman's philosophy used to be, " I SMOKE, therefore I am." ) I am only saying that I hope you will not be against considering the possibility of getting on a program. It could give you an extra "boost." Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. We are here for you, yea or nay, up or down. Best regards, Respectfully, Addison " What though the mast be now blown overboard, The cable broke, the holding-anchor lost, And half our sailors swallow'd in the flood; Yet lives our pilot still..." Third Part Henry VI, V, iv |
| NS |
| 08/07/02 at 19:58:55 |
| Addison |
| Re: Kicking the habit ... |
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| Anonymous |
| 08/09/02 at 04:39:37 |
| Asalaamu Aleikoum one and all Dear Brothers and sisters, it has been four weeks now since my last "slip". I thank you all for your support for me and your concern. Sister Addison, in particular I thank you for your concern for me. May Allah bless you all and give you nothing but good. Four smoke free weeks, Alhamdulillah. Not so much as a puff to pass my lips during that time. Truely Allah has blessed me. The key so far? Remove yourself from temptation and make dua, much dua!! Twenty eight days gone, eleven days to go before non-smoking becomes a habit??? Jazak Allah Khair to you all, once more. Salaam |
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| Anonymous |
| 08/09/02 at 04:42:45 |
| standard message = assalamu alaikum, mashallah bro/sis anonymous - i think that your decision to finally kick the habit is incredible masha'allah. may allah make it easy for you, and give you the strength to turn your back on it for good..... (no cheats or urges here and there...) i must admit, you've given me hope. i am ashamed to admit that i am a smoker myself. when i began many years ago, i dont think it ever dawned upon me how difficult it would be to stop... i thought that i could just kick the habit, whenever i felt it was time. little do i know, a few years down the road and many cancer sticks later... it is THAT difficult and more. the previous posts all had things that i could really empathize with.. especially the point about NOT being addicted to the actual drug (the nicotine) but being addicted to the habit.... lighting up.... having that something to do when youre bored, waiting for a bus, or on break at work.... or when its simply one of those days when you're annoyed and hating the world one day and somehow, indulging in that one cigarette and sipping on your coffee can make all the difference. when meanwhile, i can list a million and one things that could be that much more beneficial to do in that moment (dhikr, prayer..etc)... but no, somehow, we make the stupider choice everyday. the choice that doesn't benefit us in the least.... the choice that cuts down the minutes and days to our lives.... the choice that destroys our health and destructs our physical, social and spiritual beings... and after acknowledging all of this... i am ashamed to admit that i still make the choice. please make duaa for me. i would love to quit. but at the moment, i know that i dont have the willpower nor the strength... in other words, im not wanting it enough as i should be... which is shameful but its only true... however bro/sis anonymous - i want you to know that you've given me THAT MUCH more motivation.... and inshallah, sooner then later... i will choose to make the right choice. please remember me in your duaa's. sister anonymous. |
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