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Quranic Concept of Love |
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Anonymous |
07/05/02 at 03:00:24 |
Bismillah hirrahman nirraheem'In the name of Allah (SWT) the Merciful, the Beneficent. As-salamu-'alykum-wa-rahmatullaahi-wa-barakatuh. The article entitled "QUR'ANIC CONCEPT OF LOVE " is an article written by Kashif Ahmed Shahzada. The article can be found at the Muslim Editorial Service website,(www.musedserv.com)- THe Islamic Research WEb Site. THe site has been recently recognized for its efforts and has been been voted as beingone of the top 100 Islamic web sites on the internet.QUR'ANIC CONCEPT OF LOVE "Certainly We have revealed to you a Book in which is your ownreminder; what! Will you not then use your reasoning?"-Al Qur'an21:10 Do we have a free will to select our life partner? Are we permittedto Love someone? Is it acceptable for girls to have boy friends and for boys to have girl friends? What are the criteria for selecting a life partner? Following is a discussion of such questions from a Qur'anic perspective. FREE CONSENT FOR MARRIAGE The Qur'an informs us that women cannot be forced to get married and thus they have the right to express their will. The following Ayah tells us; "O you who believe! You are Forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness that you may take away part of the dower you have given them -except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good." (4:19) In Sura 4, the believing man is also given the permission to marry women of his choice, thus he too can excersize his free will.As reminded; "If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, so Marry women of Your Choice two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one.Or what your right hands possesed.That is nearer,that you do not decline from justice" (4:3) Thus both believing women as well as men have been given the right to have a say in their marriage, i.e. women cannot be married forcefully and men also have been given the right to marry women of their choice. Then again in Sura 4 Ayah 21 ,Marriage has been identified as a `Meesaq' (Contract) that women have taken from men: "And how could you take it when you have gone in unto each other and they (Your wives) have Taken from you a solemn covenant? " (4:21) A contract or covenant requires the free consent of both parties in agreeing to that contract. An agreement in which a person is forced to do something against his or her will, does not constitute a 'Meesaq' or contract. If the woman has been forced into getting married or the will of the man has been manipulated by coercion then such an agreement does not become a contract or 'Meesaq'. Thus for a contract of marriage to come about, both parties i.e. the man as well as the woman have to use their free will in coming to terms and agreeing to live the rest of their lives with each other.If out of these two any one is forced or does not have their free will involved then such would not constitute a 'Meesaq'. This should clarify that a believing man or woman does have the right to accept or reject his or her would be husband or wife.They do have the right to express their will. THE LIMIT OF LOVE First of all we need to ascertain as to what do we mean by the term 'loving someone' ? That 'someone', do we like his or her physical appearance? Or do we mean we like his or her character traits? Or what his or her views are about life and many other things? Do we like the background he or she is coming from ? Their economic status ? All of us do have feelings and emotions in us. We are not rocks or made of stones, we do have feelings, we cry when we get hurt, smile when we are happy, get depressed when something happens against our wishes, all these feelings are within us, but we should not let these feelings and emotions rule our lives.The feelings are there, no denying that, but they have to be kept within the limits ordained by Allah. We should not let these feelings rule our lives. There has to be a balance between our feelings and emotions and our reason and intelligence. We should be constantly aware of our duties and responsibilities and they should not be neglected by feelings and emotions overcoming our minds. When a person is emotionally worked up i.e. he or she is under the influence of emotions like love, anger etc then that person cannot use his or her faculty of reasoning and intellect in ascertaining things. He or she will only listen to what the emotions are telling, no matter how much you try to make such persons understand, they will not analyze things logically and with reasoning until their emotions are settled down. We should let our feelings be subdued and look at things in a more practical, reasonable and logical way. Usually with young people this is difficult to understand, but with the passage of time, when one attains some maturity we do realize these things. Now about the issue of whether we can like (love) someone, the Qur'an has laid certain conditions for loving people as well. All of us do have these emotions in us, after all it is Allah Himself who has given these to us, but we cannot surpass the law of Allah in that love. Our total devotion and dedication has to be for the cause of Allah. We often hear the very common expression that people under the influence of emotions say to each other, something like; "...I will give my life for you.." or "...you are my everything..." etc.. Such devotion is not allowed by the Qur'an.The Qur'an renounces such people, who are so infatuated. Allah informs us through His Messenger; "Yet there are among people who take others besides Allah as equal(with Allah): THEY LOVE THEM AS THEY SHOULD LOVE ALLAH. But the Believers are strong in their LOVE FOR ALLAH. If only the oppressors could see behold they would see the penalty: that to Allah belongs all power and Allah will strongly enforce the penalty." (2:165) The Believer in the message of Qur'an cannot be totally devoted to someone rather than the cause of Allah.His or her goal of life is mentioned in the following verse; "Say:' Surely my Salat and my solitude and MY LIFE and MY DEATH are(all) FOR ALLAH, the Sustainer of the Universe;" (6:162) The above verse should be the motto of a true believer, and a person who has such principles, can he give his total love and devotion to someone else? We cannot surpass the law of Allah in having any feelings or considerations for any one, no matter how close relations they may have with us.We (The believers in the Qur'an) are strictly reminded; "Say:'If your FATHERS and your SONS and your BRETHERN and your SPOUSES and your RELATIVES and the WEALTH you have acquired and the TRADE whose dullness you fear and the HOMES in which you are satisfied,if you LOVE any of these more than ALLAH AND HIS MESSENGER AND THE STRIVING IN HIS CAUSE, then wait until ALLAH brings about His order; and ALLAH guides not the oppressing people." (9:24) To the believers the cause of Allah is what matters the most, the way of life that is prescribed for them in the Qur'an, they don't make any compromises with anyone against that way of life, even to their very loved ones. Such quality of theirs is identified by Allah Himself: "You shall not find a people who believe in Allah and the last day LOVING those who act in opposition to Allah and His Messenger, even though they were their (own) FATHERS, or their SONS, or their BROTHERS, or their RELATIVES; these are they into whose hearts He has written belief , and whom He has strengthened with a spirit from Him: and He will cause them to enter gardens beneath which rivers flow, abiding therein; Allah is well-pleased with them and they are well- pleased with Him these are Allah's party: now surely the party of Allah are the successful ones." (58:22) THE CRITERIA FOR SELECTING A LIFE PARTNER The Qur'an is very clear about what to consider in selecting a life partner.The following verse informs us: "And DO NOT MARRY 'mushrik' (Polythiest) women UNTIL they believe, and certainly a believing maid is better than a 'mushrik'(Polythiest) woman, even though she should please you; and DO NOT give (believing women) in marriage to 'MUSHRIK' MEN UNTIL THEY BELIEVE, and certainly a believing servant is better than a mushrik man, even though he should please you; AND THESE(MUSHRIKEEN) INVITE YOU TO THE FIRE, and Allah invites to the garden and to forgiveness by His will, and makes clear His Ayat (verses) to Mankind, that they may be mindful." (2:221) The above verse negates the concept of beauty or physical attraction, along with wealth or economic status of a person, and establishes that it is 'Eimaan' i.e. Belief and conviction on the Quranic laws that should be the point to consider in selecting a life partner. MAKING BOYFRIENDS OR GIRLFRIENDS The Believers are informed in the Qur'an that they are to maintain a modest lifestyle and are discouraged from having paramours.An important injunction concerning those with whom marriage is permissible is that they should not have any paramours.: "This day (all) the good things are allowed to you; and the food of those who have been given the Book is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them; and the chaste from among the believing women and the chaste from among those who have been given the Book before you (are lawful for you); when you have given them their dowries, taking (them) in marriage, not fornicating NOR TAKING THEM FOR PARAMOURS; and whoever denies belief, his work indeed is of no account, and inthe hereafter he shall be one of the losers." (5:5) Secret affairs and intimacy of this sort is not permitted by the Qur'an.It is clearly reminded regarding those women with whom the contract of marriage is sought: "There is no blame on you if you make an offer of betrothal or hold it in your hearts.Allah knows that you cherish them in your hearts: But do not make a secret promise with them except that you utter a recognized matter…" (2:235) Believing women are also reminded what type of behavior they are to maintain with un related men: "O Women of the Prophet! you are not like any other of the women; Ifyou will be on your guard, then be not complacent in (your) speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease yearn; and speak a recognized utterance." (33:32) Believing men are also reminded to maintain a modest behavior: "Say to the believing men that they restrain their gaze and guard their private parts; that is purer for them; surely Allah is Aware of what they do." (24:30) TOTAL COMMITEMENT TO THE CAUSE OF ALLAH To a believer the first preference in life is the Cause of Allah, he or she is totally dedicated to that cause and cannot have any emotional considerations which would neglect their duties as believers. The above verses are very clear in indicating this aspect.I would like to repeat that verse again which clearly expresses the agenda of a Believer in the Qur'anic message: "Say. Surely my Salat and my solitude and MY LIFE and MY DEATH are(all) FOR ALLAH, the Sustainer of the Universe." (6:162) Total dedication to Allah.This is what is required to be a Believer. Kashif Ahmed Shahzada Follow the Quran and the Sunnah and do not be disillusioned by these wordly tempatations. |
Re: Quranic Concept of Love |
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mwishka |
07/06/02 at 09:54:28 |
um, i don't even really want to reply to these two articles (other one on choosing a mate), but....well...sigh. guess i would be remiss if i didn't. :( ok, everyone get out their thinking caps - and you can call up your creative abilities to aid you in your explanations, too! ;) there seem to be two contradictory statements run together here: first one is about loving within the laws allah has set forth, as this says [i]Now about the issue of whether we can like (love) someone, the Qur'an has laid certain conditions for loving people as well. All of us do have these emotions in us, after all it is Allah Himself who has given these to us, but we cannot surpass the law of Allah in that love.[/i] and then there is this part, which is about something different - yet they're set together as though they're the same [i]Our total devotion and dedication has to be for the cause of Allah. We often hear the very common expression that people under the influence of emotions say to each other, something like; "...I will give my life for you.." or "...you are my everything..." etc.. Such devotion is not allowed by the Qur'an.The Qur'an renounces such people, who are so infatuated.[/i] i think most of us would agree that the second type of "over-devotion" to other people, as far as a marriage is concerned, sounds a lot more like an old movie than real life. yet there are real ways in which we live this type of devotion to everyone around us. wouldn't any of us save another person or an animal from harm or death if confronted with such a situation? and might it not be possible that that could require us to put our own person at some risk to do so? in that moment, the one you need to save is equivalent to your everything, since you're offering the sum totality of your earthly existence for them - admittedly if your faith in the afterlife is strong, your risk at losing your own life is then nothing, is insignificant, and so you then might be offering nothing, but you don't know which. and the circumstances of your life so far would not enter your mind at that moment, as in "i will save them because it will erase my wrongdoings..." but i don't see how this, below, tells us NOT to love someone, just not to "over"love them (if such an idea can even exist...since "love", as opposed to infatuation, can never be given too freely, in my opinion.). this just kind of sounds to me like the idea that we're all unintelligent and barbaric, and, actually, unpious and can't differentiate right from wrong or good from bad.... (bummer....didn't want to copy so much --- guess i have to....) [i]Do we have a free will to select our life partner? Are we permitted to Love someone? THE LIMIT OF LOVE First of all we need to ascertain as to what do we mean by the term 'loving someone' ? That 'someone', do we like his or her physical appearance? Or do we mean we like his or her character traits? Or what his or her views are about life and many other things? Do we like the background he or she is coming from ? Their economic status ? All of us do have feelings and emotions in us. We are not rocks or made of stones, we do have feelings, we cry when we get hurt, smile when we are happy, get depressed when something happens against our wishes, all these feelings are within us, but we should not let these feelings and emotions rule our lives.The feelings are there, no denying that, but they have to be kept within the limits ordained by Allah. We should not let these feelings rule our lives. There has to be a balance between our feelings and emotions and our reason and intelligence. We should be constantly aware of our duties and responsibilities and they should not be neglected by feelings and emotions overcoming our minds.[/i] and this same "running together" is again emphasized here [i]The above verse should be the motto of a true believer, and a person who has such principles, can he give his total love and devotion to someone else? We cannot surpass the law of Allah in having any feelings or considerations for any one, no matter how close relations they may have with us.[/i] ok, this part directly above (bold) really (really really?)kind of bothers me. it goes back to what i sometimes hear here, that some people believe the way of islam is to ignore everything around them that they want to as long as they accumulate rewards on some path heading for heaven. i know that sounds crude in the way i've stated it, but this perspective does not sit well with me, and the words above make me very uncomfortable, to think that people around me are regarding the world in this way, with "no feelings or consideration for anyone"...... um...ok, i'm ending this here..... mwishka (sorry if this is kind of non-linear.......i had the content of the two articles mixed together in not only my mind, but my "notes"... hope it's all sorted out in an orderly way now....) |
07/06/02 at 15:00:32 |
mwishka |
Re: Quranic Concept of Love |
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se7en |
07/13/02 at 15:11:34 |
salaam, First of all, with no disrespect to the author, the article was not written in very clear English. [quote]there seem to be two contradictory statements run together here: first one is about loving within the laws allah has set forth, as this says Now about the issue of whether we can like (love) someone, the Qur'an has laid certain conditions for loving people as well. All of us do have these emotions in us, after all it is Allah Himself who has given these to us, but we cannot surpass the law of Allah in that love. and then there is this part, which is about something different - yet they're set together as though they're the same Our total devotion and dedication has to be for the cause of Allah. We often hear the very common expression that people under the influence of emotions say to each other, something like; "...I will give my life for you.." or "...you are my everything..." etc.. Such devotion is not allowed by the Qur'an.The Qur'an renounces such people, who are so infatuated. [/quote] Hmm.. I don't see a contradiction.. maybe you can explain? The first sentence is stating that the Qur'an has laid certain conditions for the type and nature of love we should have for people; and the second states that one of those conditions is that, the love we have for people is not so intense that it overwhelms our love for and in the way of Allah. [quote] We cannot surpass the law of Allah in having any feelings or considerations for any one, no matter how close relations they may have with us. ok, this part directly above (bold) really (really really?)kind of bothers me. it goes back to what i sometimes hear here, that some people believe the way of islam is to ignore everything around them that they want to as long as they accumulate rewards on some path heading for heaven. i know that sounds crude in the way i've stated it, but this perspective does not sit well with me, and the words above make me very uncomfortable, to think that people around me are regarding the world in this way, with "no feelings or consideration for anyone"...... [/quote] Hmm. I had to read the sentence you quoted a couple of times to understand it.. it's strucuture is definitely confusing. I think what is meant is "We cannot surpass the laws of Allah in our consideration and feelings for people, no matter how closely they are related to us." Now this is not saying that we should have no regard for people or that we should "ignore everything around us" as you've said, but simply that we should make sure our natural, human emotions, inclinations, feeling, desires etc are in accord with Islamic teaching. Meaning we never reach that level of devotion to an individual that we would be willing to sacrifice our lives for them, or compromise our faith, or do something that is harmful or detrimental to ourselves. So again, it's not about annihilating or erasing our instinctual feelings and attachments for people (as this is impossible), but simply trying to keep these feelings balanced and healthy and not allow them to reach extremes. salaam :) |
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