Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

A R C H I V E S

Humor.... automated Madina News generator ;)

Madina Archives


Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

Humor.... automated Madina News generator ;)
jannah
07/10/02 at 03:40:30
[slm]

http://www.peacefire.org/staff/bennett/autodave/

Ok try it out it's a lot of fun, here's my little news story that was generated :):

Recently in Madina (motto: "I love the Izlaam!"), residents reported an outbreak of bebzis. Perhaps you think there are no bebzis in Madina. Perhaps you are an idiot.

As the French say, au contraire (literally: "whatchu talkin bout willis!?!"). I have here in my hands a copy of an Associated Press article sent in by alert reader se7en, whose name can be rearranged to spell "SNEE", although that is not my main point...
07/10/02 at 03:40:58
jannah
Re: Humor.... automated Madina News generator ;)
Barr
07/10/02 at 07:52:57
Assalamu'alaikum :-)

Here's mine :) .. though longer:

Recently in Tampines (motto: "Make like a tree and leave"), residents reported an outbreak of geese. Perhaps you think there are no geese in Tampines. Perhaps you are an idiot.

As the French say, au contraire (literally: "You mean... you actually think?!"). I have here in my hands a copy of an Associated Press article sent in by alert reader Rubeea, whose name can be rearranged to spell "RAUEBE", although that is not my main point. "Rubeea", by the way, only has the letters "eea" in in common with "Monica Lewinsky", so there is no other reason to mention Monica Lewinsky in this column.

According to a quote which I am not making up, from Tampines Mayor Wilfred (formally "Mayor Wilfred" and informally "Ikky"), geese ranks as a major crisis just behind feather, birds and duster (insert your "sneeze" joke here), as evidenced by the following conversation between Tampines government employees:

FIRST TAMPINES EMPLOYEE: "heh heh"

SECOND TAMPINES EMPLOYEE: "ouch!"

FIRST TAMPINES EMPLOYEE: "Oiii! You there!"

Fortunately I have a suggestion for Mayor Ikky, and that is: pinch George Steinbrenner's nose.

No, seriously, my suggestion does not involve George Steinbrenner's nose, although it might involve stop Tobacco Institute scientists. My suggestion is more along the lines of a coup de grace, from the French coup, meaning "work", and de grace, meaning "from home". The procedure (you may want to write this down):

Invent a vaporiser
Let my dad have a hand at it

But instead the Tampines city council (motto: "We'll lead and manage the country in accordance to Allah's law. when you pry the phone out of our cold, dead fingers") thinks that they (the geese) will pull out feathers soon, sending this message to the public, and to the world: "Make du'a that Allah guides me.".

Speaking of which, "The Tampines Geese Outbreak" would be a great name for a rock band.

Re: Humor.... automated Madina News generator ;)
bhaloo
07/10/02 at 09:04:15
[slm]

Seems like it only has one story, here's mine.

Recently in Albany (motto: "No more bebsis for you!"), residents reported an outbreak of cows. Perhaps you think there are no cows in Albany. Perhaps you are an idiot.
As the French say, au contraire (literally: "Loser!!"). I have here in my hands a copy of an Associated Press article sent in by alert reader Se7en, whose name can be rearranged to spell "SNEE", although that is not my main point. "Se7en", by the way, only has the letters "Seen" in in common with "Monica Lewinsky", so there is no other reason to mention Monica Lewinsky in this column.

According to a quote which I am not making up, from Albany Mayor Bro. Hanif (formally "Mayor Bro. Hanif" and informally "Stumpy"), cows ranks as a major crisis just behind barns, cows and jannah (insert your "hay" joke here), as evidenced by the following conversation between Albany government employees:

FIRST ALBANY EMPLOYEE: "Oh oh!"

SECOND ALBANY EMPLOYEE: "What a punk!"

FIRST ALBANY EMPLOYEE: "You want a piece of me?"

Fortunately I have a suggestion for Mayor Stumpy, and that is: spend all George Steinbrenner's money..

No, seriously, my suggestion does not involve George Steinbrenner's money., although it might involve getting back at Tobacco Institute scientists. My suggestion is more along the lines of a coup de grace, from the French coup, meaning "I", and de grace, meaning "plan on buying bebsis.". The procedure (you may want to write this down):

Give someone else the garbage.
Using a plunger or a snake.
But instead the Albany city council (motto: "We'll waste taxpayer's money. when you pry the bebsi out of our cold, dead fingers") thinks that they (the cows) will moo soon, sending this message to the public, and to the world: "Idiot on board!".
Speaking of which, "The Albany Cows Outbreak" would be a great name for a rock band.

Re: Humor.... automated Madina News generator ;)
eleanor
07/18/02 at 06:26:20
Recently in Singapore (motto: "git outta town befoh I blow yoh head off"), residents reported an outbreak of long toothed
               greasy headed youths. Perhaps you think there are no long toothed greasy headed youths in Singapore. Perhaps you are
               an idiot.

               As the French say, au contraire (literally: "sad depreciated worthless artefact!"). I have here in my hands a copy of an
               Associated Press article sent in by alert reader Sister Barr, whose name can be rearranged to spell "SRIRSATBE R",
               although that is not my main point. "Sister Barr", by the way, only has the letters "Sisea" in in common with "Monica
               Lewinsky", so there is no other reason to mention Monica Lewinsky in this column.

               According to a quote which I am not making up, from Singapore Mayor Abu Hamza (formally "Mayor Abu Hamza" and
               informally "Slam Dunk Yeehaw"), long toothed greasy headed youths ranks as a major crisis just behind smog, traffic and
               spaceships (insert your "radar screens" joke here), as evidenced by the following conversation between Singapore
               government employees:

               FIRST SINGAPORE EMPLOYEE: "I'm outta here"

               SECOND SINGAPORE EMPLOYEE: "Do I look like a complete idiot to you?"

               FIRST SINGAPORE EMPLOYEE: "Hey! don't you mess with me Sucker!!"

               Fortunately I have a suggestion for Mayor Slam Dunk Yeehaw, and that is: tweak George Steinbrenner's nose.

               No, seriously, my suggestion does not involve George Steinbrenner's nose, although it might involve to throw a water
               balloon at Tobacco Institute scientists. My suggestion is more along the lines of a coup de grace, from the French coup,
               meaning "Go", and de grace, meaning "to a warm sunny peaceful place". The procedure (you may want to write this
               down):

                  1.stop eating
                  2.put your hand in and yank it out

               But instead the Singapore city council (motto: "We'll get off our backsides and do something when you pry the barbie dolls
               out of our cold, dead fingers") thinks that they (the long toothed greasy headed youths) will only shave on Saturdays soon,
               sending this message to the public, and to the world: "Boom Shaka Lak".

               Speaking of which, "The Singapore Long toothed greasy headed youths Outbreak" would be a great name for a rock
               band.

Re: Humor.... automated Madina News generator ;)
gift
07/18/02 at 07:55:31
[slm]

hee hee this is funny :D

Recently in London (motto: "git outta my face"), residents reported an outbreak of snakes. Perhaps you think there are no snakes in London. Perhaps you are an idiot.
As the French say, au contraire (literally: "you're so fat that when you wear a yellow dress people yell 'Taxi'!!!!!!!"). I have here in my hands a copy of an Associated Press article sent in by alert reader qamar, whose name can be rearranged to spell "QRAAM", although that is not my main point. "qamar", by the way, only has the letters "ama" in in common with "Monica Lewinsky", so there is no other reason to mention Monica Lewinsky in this column.

According to a quote which I am not making up, from London Mayor mr smith (formally "Mayor mr smith" and informally "bobby"), snakes ranks as a major crisis just behind eggs, flour and sugar (insert your "butter" joke here), as evidenced by the following conversation between London government employees:

FIRST LONDON EMPLOYEE: "i am soooooooo outta here"

SECOND LONDON EMPLOYEE: "oi where'd you get your licenece??????"

FIRST LONDON EMPLOYEE: "*dirty look*"

Fortunately I have a suggestion for Mayor bobby, and that is: George Steinbrenner's .

No, seriously, my suggestion does not involve George Steinbrenner's , although it might involve slapping Tobacco Institute scientists. My suggestion is more along the lines of a coup de grace, from the French coup, meaning "", and de grace, meaning "". The procedure (you may want to write this down):

pray
call a plumber?
But instead the London city council (motto: "We'll govern when you pry the chocolate bar out of our cold, dead fingers") thinks that they (the snakes) will slither soon, sending this message to the public, and to the world: "please keep your distance - noxious fumes".
Speaking of which, "The London Snakes Outbreak" would be a great name for a rock band.

Re: Humor.... automated Madina News generator ;)
Ruqayyah
07/18/02 at 11:36:39
[slm]

the re-usable love poems are kinda funny too, here is my favorite line:

[quote]For you are my swan and I am your duckling
You are the girl that keeps my world from sucking
[/quote]


i dunno, it just made me laugh :D

[wlm]
Ruqayyah


Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
A R C H I V E S

Individual posts do not necessarily reflect the views of Jannah.org, Islam, or all Muslims. All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners. Comments are owned by the poster and may not be used without consent of the author.
The rest © Jannah.Org