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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| New husband not religious... |
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| Anonymous |
| 07/11/02 at 04:04:19 |
| dear friends AOA I have recently had my Nikkah . that is i'm legally married but not yet living with my husband. the complete wedding will be in a few months. it was arranged according to the wishes of my parents. with my consent of course. i didnt know the guy before. but after talking to him a couple of times now i've found out that he is not religious at all. he says that he says his fajr prayers regularly but he doesnt believe in eating Halal food or that muslims are any better than people of any other faith. although i wouldnt say i'm a good practicing muslim in the sense that i dont say my prayers regularly but still religion plays an important role in my life. i think in all matters i will be thinking more religiously than my husband. i dont know how we will live our life together with such different perspectives on life. i had been thinking of wearing the head scarf once i got married but i feel my husband will disapprove of it. what should i do? how should i live my life with my husband once we are living together. any advice will be appreciated. |
| Re: New husband not religious... |
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| muslimah_bham |
| 07/15/02 at 11:24:08 |
| [slm] i hope you will be reading this in the best of iman and good heath inshaallah. i think that you should pray istikhara prayer and asked allah , this prayer is a specail prayer you pray when yyou want to make a decision and you need guidance. do you know how to perfoem his prayer? if not please let me know and i will try my best inshaallah to post it up in a tread. :-) |
| Re: New husband not religious... |
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| jaihoon |
| 07/15/02 at 12:06:31 |
| [quote] it was arranged according to the wishes of my parents. with my consent of course. i didnt know the guy before. but after talking to him a couple of times now i've found out that he is not religious at all [/quote] ??? don't mean to be rude... but isn't it time for the ulama to review the arranged marriage system among the muslims, at least in this age of 'knowledge-based' economies? [quote] although i wouldnt say i'm a good practicing muslim in the sense that i dont say my prayers regularly but still religion plays an important role in my life [/quote] ??? don't mean to be rude... i don't exactly get the logic of this statement. Also, ur very belief of 'had been thinking of wearing the head scarf once i got married ' doesn't hold much relevant. From what you've described, what I feel is that both of you are 'religious' in your own way. To compare each other seems nonsense. Just like any other average muslim (includin me), there are + and - in everyone. ::) Sorry if that hurts |
| Re: New husband not religious... |
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| Danyala |
| 07/15/02 at 19:40:31 |
| Salams I think you should consult your local imam. As far as I am aware if you have not had the 'proper wedding' i.e you have not yet had intimate relations then the marriage can be anulled and you are not considered a divorcee. Please check this out with someone knowledgable. But before you make this decision make istikiara and review this decison very seriously. I think I know where you are coming from sis...in saying that you do not pray at least you do recognise that it needs to be done and you recognise what is halal and what is haram, and subsequently what is right and what is not. Whereas your husband may be refusing to even acknowledge that Islam is the perfect religion. Keep in mind that this man will be the father of your children, and you will need someone to encourage you to seek further into your faith rather than take you away from it. Perhaps it is wise for you to have a chat with your husband of religion and different expectations. Ask him what his feelings would be about you wearing hijab and why he thinks its not important to eat only halal food if Allah comands it. Make istikiara sis and my duas are with you. Allah hafiz :-) |
| 07/15/02 at 20:12:37 |
| Danyala |
| Re: New husband not religious... |
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| Anonymous |
| 07/23/02 at 13:32:36 |
| But i did do istakhara before my Nikkah. and i had prayed a lot. and i had finally accepted this to be the will of God that i should marry here. |
| Re: New husband not religious... |
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| jannah |
| 07/24/02 at 15:40:46 |
| [slm] I think you should sit down with your husband and discuss these issues of deen. This will impress upon him how important islam is to you and you'll also get his perspective to see if you would be able to live and be married to such a person. After that you can decide which way to go... |
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