A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Daily Questions in Islam!!! |
|---|
| Dream_Of_Islam |
| 07/11/02 at 07:10:44 |
| [slm] My name is Mohd , and i'm a new member in this site! i think its very helpful and God Bless whoever started it and all who contributed in making it satisfactory ! Al Hamdilah.,! I live in an Arab country fot the past years of my life, but i always go abroad to Europe and mostly the States because my family studies there and many do live there! I , myself am going tehre in a weeks time to start university. So you could i've been around! and what hits me the most is that when i'm away in a non muslim country, u feel more secure and my faith tends to grow stronger and i practice the Islam much mroe than here, and many other do agree with me! I have a couple of questiosn to ask! first, the concept of shaking hands with a non- muhram! Ever since we were kids when we meet new people, our parents would force us to go over to them and " welcome" them by shaking their hands or kissing them! and then once we've gotten used to it , BAM, they all take it away and suddenly its haram~! :S ... ??? i really feel very uncomfortable when i'm meeting a non muhram because all the time i'm thinking in my head, " should i shake or not...?????" " if i do will she reject me and i'll feel soooo embarassed and uncomfortable ????,,,, " will she think that i'm disrespectful if i don;t ...?????" " should i initiate it or not ???"... maybe u might find this not a baig issue, but to mee its really big, because i'm a very sensitive person, and in opur house we always get guests! right now i'm up stairs writting this and we have more than 10 people having lunch over and meeting them was very uncomfortblae! to me, i really don't think tis haram becuase the concepmpt os sshaking hands is saying " salam alaykum " "peace be with you", your initiating peace between tweo people! please if anyone has anythign, it would be great to hear something, becaus ei'm trying my best not to amke mstkaes and if this is a sinful act, i will work on it as soon as i can ! Jazakum Allah Kheir.. Thank you.. |
| Re: Daily Questions in Islam!!! |
|---|
| Fatimah |
| 07/11/02 at 07:52:30 |
| Question: I would like a detailed answer on the ruling on a man shaking hands with a woman, and the views of the four imams and the majority of scholars on that. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: It is not permissible for a man who believes in Allaah and His Messenger to put his hand in the hand of a women who is not permissible for him or who is not one of his mahrams. Whoever does that has wronged himself (i.e., sinned). It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486. Shaykh al-Albaani said in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045, that this hadeeth is saheeh. This hadeeth alone is sufficient to deter and to instill the obedience required of us by Allaah, because it implies that touching women may lead to temptation and immorality. It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the believing women migrated to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), they would be tested in accordance with the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the Bay‘ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse’ [al-Mumtahanah 60:12] ‘Aa’ishah said: Whoever among the believing women agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed to that, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to them: “Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’ No, by Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance with words only.” And ‘Aa’ishah said: “By Allaah, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allaah, and the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman. When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, ‘I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.’” (narrated by Muslim, 1866) It was narrated from ‘Urwah that ‘Aa’ishah told him about the women’s oath of allegiance: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched any woman with his hand. He would explain to the woman what the oath of allegiance implied, and when she accepted, he would say ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’” Narrated by Muslim, 1866 This infallible one, the best of mankind, the leader of the sons of Adam on the Day of Resurrection, did not touch women. This is despite the fact that the oath of allegiance was originally given by hand. So how about men other than the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? It was narrated that Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I do not shake hands with women.” Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (4181) and Ibn Maajah, 2874; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2513. Secondly: It is not permissible to shake hands even with a barrier in between, such as shaking hands from beneath a garment and the like. The hadeeth that was narrated allowing that is da’eef (weak). It was narrated from Ma’qal ibn Yassaar that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to shake hands with women from beneath a garment.” Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat, 2855. Al-Haythami said: This was narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer and al-Awsat. Its isnaad includes ‘Ataab ibn Harb, who is da’eef (weak). Majma’ al-Zawaa’id, 6/39. Wali al-Deen al-‘Iraaqi said: The words of ‘Aa’ishah, “He used to accept the women’s oath of allegiance by words only” mean that he did so without taking their hands or shaking hands with them. This indicates that the bay’ah of men was accepted by taking their hands and shaking hands with them, as well as by words, and this is how it was. What ‘Aa’ishah mentioned was the custom. Some of the mufassireen mentioned that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called for a vessel of water and dipped his hand in it, then the women dipped their hands in it. And some of them said that he did not shake hands with them from behind a barrier and had a Qatari cloak over his hand. And it was said that ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) shook hands with them on his behalf. None of these reports are sound, especially the last one, How could ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) have done something that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who was ma’soom (infallible), would not do? Tarh al-Tathreeb, 7/45 Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The most correct view is that this (i.e., shaking hands with women from behind a barrier) is not allowed at all, because of the general meaning of the hadeeth, according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I do not shake hands with women;” and so as to ward off the means that may lead to evil. (Adapted from Hashiyat Majmoo’at Rasaa’il fi’l-Hijaab wa’l-Sufoor, p. 69) The same ruling applies to shaking hands with old women; this is also haraam because of the general meaning of the texts on this issue. The reports that say it is permissible are da’eef (weak). Al-Zayla’i said: “As for the report that ‘Abu Bakr used to shake hands with old women, it is also ghareeb.” (Nasab al-Raayah, 4/240) Ibn Hajar said: I cannot find this hadeeth. (al-Diraayah fi Takhreej Ahaadeeth al-Hidaayah, 2/225) Fourthly: With regard to the views of the four imams, they are as follows: 1 – The Hanafi madhhab: Ibn Nujaym said: It is not permissible for a man to touch a woman’s face or hands even if there is no risk of desire because it is haraam in principle and there is no necessity that would allow it. Al-Bahr al-Raa’iq, 8/219 2 – The Maaliki madhhab: Muhammad ibn Ahmad (‘Ulaysh) said: It is not permissible for a man to touch the face or hand of a non-mahram woman, and it is not permissible for him to put his hand on hers without a barrier. ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never accepted a woman’s oath of allegiance by shaking hands with her; rather he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to accept their oath of allegiance by words only.” According to another report, “His hand never touched the hand of a woman, rather he would accept their oath of allegiance by words only.” (Manh al-Jaleel Sharh Mukhtasar Khaleel, 1/223) 3 – The Shaafa’i madhhab: Al-Nawawi said: It is not permissible to touch a woman in any way. Al-Majmoo’, 4/515. Wali al-Deen al-‘Iraaqi said: This indicates that the hand of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not touch the hand of any woman apart from his wives and concubines, whether in the case of accepting the oath of allegiance or in other cases. If he did not do that despite the fact that he was infallible and beyond suspicion, then it is even more essential that others heed this prohibition. It appears from the texts that he refrained from doing that because it was haraam for him to do so. The fuqaha’ among our companions and others said that it is haraam to touch a non-mahram woman even if that is not touching parts of her body that are not ‘awrah, such as her face. But they differed with regard to looking when there is no desire and no fear of fitnah. The prohibition on touching is stronger than the prohibition on looking, and it is haraam when there is no necessity that would allow it. If it is the case of necessity, e.g. medical treatment, removing a tooth or treating the eyes, etc., if there is no woman who can do that, then it is permissible for a non-mahram to do that because it is the case of necessity. Tarh al-Tathreeb, 7/45, 46 4 – The Hanbali madhhab Ibn Muflih said: Abu ‘Abd-Allaah – i.e., Imam Ahmad – was asked about a man who shakes hands with a woman. He said, No, and was emphatic that it is haraam. I said, Should he shake hands with her from beneath his garment? He said, No. Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen also favoured the view that it is prohibited, and gave the reason that touching is more serious than looking. AlAdaab al-Shar’iyyah, 2/257 And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) |
| Re: Daily Questions in Islam!!! |
|---|
| Muneerah134 |
| 07/11/02 at 12:55:04 |
| [slm] Sister Fatimah gives excellent daleel on not shaking hands! I work at a University in the US and have found something that works well for ie. When I meet someone new, I smile and greet them by repeating their name and saying hello. If they extend their hand (most do) and if they are male, I explain that I am forbidden to do that. I then pause, and move right into conversation. If they ask why, it is an excellent opportunity to give dawah. If not (they probably know already) then I have attempted to put them at ease and not embarrass them by treating it as a normal thing and not something out of the ordinary - conversation accomplishes this. Your attention to your Islam is usually admired by those who know. You are older now (attending University) so it is different from when you were a child. Do it gently and most will understand and respect you for it. May Allah reward you for your efforts. :-) Muneerah [] |
| Re: Daily Questions in Islam!!! |
|---|
| Anonymous |
| 07/14/02 at 03:57:38 |
| Assalamu Alaykum, One thing I still have not figured out is how to explain to non-muslims about the shaking hands business. If I were to say that I can't due to "religious reasons" then the person I'm talking to might think "Oh... what a sexist religion"...or something like that. Could someone here please tell me how to provide a satisfactory explanation? Wassalam |
| Re: Daily Questions in Islam!!! |
|---|
| Dream_Of_Islam |
| 07/14/02 at 06:31:41 |
| [slm] thank you so much ! i feel uch lighter now, althought , i still feel bad when someone gives me there hand to shake, i try to not initiate it, but inshallah my faith will grow and i'll learn how to stop! actually, i have no excuse, i should stop now! there are many things that confuse me, like for examply, listening to music? i really don't know the effect of listening to music, i understand that if it leads you to doing bad things then its definetly haram, but lets say, when your in the car driving, or on the computer, i usually enjoy listeniung to a little music, ~! its no soemthing i have to do everyday, but occasianaly i liek listening to it? so is it haram? and the same implies for movies? i'm not a movie fan, i can go on for months and not go to the movies or rent out a tape,~ but once in a while i go with ym friends or family? and recently i heard that watching movies is very haram~~ and he who watches movies shall be the first to set foot in hell~!!! and last but no least, i have sisters, and they have not yet worn the hijab~ hamdulah they pray and fast and do everything right and well, but people have come to tell em that i am sinful becaue i am not forcong them into hijab..~ i believe that i shoudlk not force anyone to wear it, and that they should do it in they're hearst? i try to encourage them, but i dont' wnat to sound forceful, we have a very close and respectful relationship which i'm very prud of! they are mroe than my sisters, they are my best freidns at the same time! so am i doing a haram by not forcing them! thank you so much [wlm] |
| Re: Daily Questions in Islam!!! |
|---|
| mwishka |
| 07/14/02 at 08:43:12 |
| anonymous, i don't think most non-muslims would "get" or even be comfortable with the phrases "forbidden to" or "cannot for religious reasons". i think that whenever you want to get across anything about islamic practices that you know are practices that are not only different but also often completely misunderstood, you just have to pop over into a non-muslim mind for a moment -"role playing", you know? i think, as in sis muneerah's situations, where the person might already be aware of the practice, saying something like "forbidden" is sort of more a reminder of the category of the action. but for most non-muslims, you KNOW they're going to assume you or your religion is stand-offish at best, but worse, would be seen as not even just sexist, but as looking down on non-muslims. if you put what shaking hands means into context, you know that it is a ubiquitous form of greeting that can be seen as everything from formal respect to kindness to warmth to acceptance to welcome to fondness. and, of course, it's the fondness end of that continuum that islam requires you to stay away from. but, you need to offer an explanation that makes it clear that you are not also denigrating the respect end of the continuum, because that is the most likely misinterpretation. (and of course that's what sexism is, a form of basic disrespect.) as someone who has been in this situation, both after i understood what was going on but also BEFORE i did, i'd suggest that you choose words that clarify that it is NOT the very thing it will be misinterpreted as: say, "my religion teaches that handshaking is too familiar a practice to show proper respect to those who are not family", or something like that.... for brief interactions this will most likely suffice, BUT, if you find yourself in a situation with a non-muslim which includes extended interactions (business, academic, or whatever), you will most likely find that even this explanation will need to be clarified further. for myself, it was pretty hard to understand completely this was not an unwillingness to show respect or to be friendly, and i really didn't "get" this until much later, until i had learned a LOT more about islam than i could from just intermittent brief exposure to islamic practice. mwishka |
| 07/14/02 at 10:07:43 |
| mwishka |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |