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Looking for Him? He's looking for YOU
Addison
07/14/02 at 14:51:49
Greetings to my kind hosts,

If you will indulge me, I would like to make an observation...I am still struggling with this study version of the Holy Qur'an, and am quite unable to bandy words regarding this Great Book as most of you can and do, however, a thought keeps returning to me and I would like to venture forth with it...

I know quite well that some people come onto this site with dubious intentions...to see what harm they might do...or to see for themselves just what evil is lurking behind that "veil," so to speak, or for some other nefarious reason. However I also know that many people come here looking for real answers and viable solutions to their problems. They come broken in spirit and feeling quite useless and empty because they cannot feel a G-d who will touch them.

The thing I could never articulate to my fellow Crristians was the fact that no matter how honey-sweet or poetic the words may have been expressed, the truth of the matter was that one could read the Bible repeatedly without ever feeling that the words of G-d were meant for him (or her.) I always preferred the Old Testament, but even so, I always felt as if G-d were speaking only to nations and not to  particular individuals - that He did not have any awareness of ME as an individual.. He might be aware of the population of the country in which I lived, but did He know that little Addison was driving down 95 at 1000hrs on her way to a Doctor's appointment?? Was He aware of my existence when I was in the grocery store? Or picking up my order at the book store? I think not.

I had always heard my fellow Christians talk about that "close personal relationship with G-d," but I never felt it. "What is wrong with me?," I thought.  "I have read and read and re-read for so many years and I just don't FEEL Him." How horrible a feeling. Not a disbelief in G-d, ney! Never! But rather...an...alone-ness...

Dear hosts, I am saying it badly...But can you understand? I never began to feel G-d's awarness of me as an individual until I began to read the Holy Qur'an.

Now to read these words, one is immediately struck with the idea that he (or she) is being spoken to directly. Perhaps it is due to the narrative form, if that is indeed the right way to express it. In retrospect, I see how confusing, ...how conFOUNDING the Bible can be...Who is talking to whom? Who wrote this book? And what dear reader would not lose ones' self in the endless channelling of the New Testament? ( Timothy says that Philemon says that Peter says that Jesus says,...Yes, but what does G-D say?) And what poor reader did not flounder in the contradictions of the gospel of John ( to name one...) Granted, the book is more philosophical than the other three gospels, but what reader wants a philosophy lesson when reading the Bible?

But I digress. Forgive me, as I begin to recall the frustration I once felt, as I write these words, and it begins to reveal itself most inpleasantly...

More to the point, let me just say this to those who might be venturing onto this site in search of a G-d who will speak to them as individuals. He is here. Now I challenge you. Go to the bookstore and pick up a copy of the Qur'an. Open it. Anywhere. No matter what page you open to, you will feel G-d speaking to YOU. You will feel a G-d who knows that you are standing in the bookstore with the Qur'an in your hands. It is the most amazing thing...

I used to carry a pocket Bible with me to read at stoplights or in the "Express line" at the grocery store, or whatever. I would open it at every opportunity, looking...to feel His presence. I would always come away feeling depressed.

Now I tote this huge book with me (!) and read it to ASSURE myself that He is there and that He knows who I am. ME. Little nobody Addison. I'm SOMEbody now. I don't care anymore who comments on it (I had some problems awhile back, as I mentioned elsewhere...) I tell them what it's done for me...(Remember those folks who went around asking, "Are you saved?" I would always think, "I could NEVER do that. I could NEVER be like that." I didn't think that I had the courage. I didn't think that I would ever have the belief...But you know what? I GET it now, because when you have conviction, you don't NEED courage. People ask, you open your mouth, and words come out. That's it.

I read in that Book, and I see that G-d speaks OF great nations, but He speaks TO me. And if you are feeling that no one is there for you,...that you are alone or that your life is of no import because you feel invisible, then I challenge you to open your mind and open that Book.

G-d is there...and He knows YOU..

Best regards,

Addison
NS
Re: Looking for Him? He's looking for YOU
se7en
07/14/02 at 15:48:41

Addison,

this was so touching to read..  may God guide you always, and make easy for you the path to knowing Him.

salaam,
se7en

Re: Looking for Him? He's looking for YOU
Kathy
07/14/02 at 23:12:25
wow... Addison... you are so right! I never thought about this.

I too, saw and felt this, but did not realize it until reading your posts.

This is wonderful information for me to have when I am wearing my dawah cap [i](I mean...scarf!)[/i]

Out of curiosity... when you type God you do it G-d. Why?
Re: Looking for Him? He's looking for YOU
AbdulJalil
07/15/02 at 09:31:43
These words from an American convert reflect what you have been saying:

"they [converts] recount occasions when
the Qur'an seemed to respond to their emotional and
psychological states or even to their reactions to certain of
its passages, as if the scripture was being revealed
to them personally, immediately, page by page, with
each subsequent passage anticipating how the previous
one would affect them. They found themselves slipping
into and becoming immersed in a veritable dialogue
with the scripture, a dialogue that occurs at the
deepest, truest, and purest level of being, where a
communication of attributes transpires and mercy, compassion,
kindness, knowledge, love--divine and human, perfect and
imperfect, infinite and finite, creating and created, of God
and of man--embrace."

[i saw this quote somewhere else,i don't really know who wrote;i tried to find out,but could not find out]


What Ibn Qayyim(ra) said:
"In short, there is nothing more beneficial for the heart than
reading the Qur'aan with contemplation and reflection. The
Qur'aan encompasses all the levels of the travelers, the
conditions of the workers, and stations of those possessing
knowledge. It is the Qur'aan that generates love, desire, fear,
hope, repentance, reliance, pleasure, entrustment, gratitude,
patience and the rest of the different states that are life to the
heart and perfection of it. Likewise, it repels all the rebuked
characteristics and actions that cause the corruption and ruin of
the heart.
If people were to possess a realization of what recitation of the
Qur'aan with contemplation contains, they would devote
themselves to it at the expense of anything else. When the
person reads it with reflection and he comes across an aayah
that he is in need of, for the cure of his heart, he repeats it,
even if he does so a hundred times or the whole night. Hence,
to recite a single aayah of the Qur'aan with contemplation and
reflection is better than reciting the Qur'aan to completion
without any contemplation or reflection. It is also more ben-eficial
for the heart and more conducive to attaining eemaan
and tasting the sweetness of the Qur'aan ..."

Miftaah Daar as-Sa'aaadah, page 204.




when you are able to read Qur'an in Arabic it is even more amazing!Not only it will speak to you,but with maginificient eloquence(especially if you have a recitor that you like ,the recitation will  sweetly "echo" in your mind).




07/15/02 at 09:37:35
AbdulJalil
Re: Looking for Him? He's looking for YOU
Addison
07/15/02 at 19:39:07
Dear Se7en,

how kind of you to say! And I appreciate your support!!

I thank you as well Kathy, and with regards to your inquiry, well...it is interesting  to note how some habits are incredibly difficult to rid one's self of.

When I was growing up, the most popular curse phrase was the blasphemous two-word phrase, "G-- ----." ( Now, of course, this phrase seems archaic, and has since been replaced with even more colorful expressions. It boggles my mind to see how de-sensitized people have become to vulgar language. But do not let me start on that...)

My father was particularly aggressive in his delivery of the importance of having proper respect for the name of,...om...the Creator (now I am self-conscious!!) "When we speak His name, we call Him forth..." was always a scarey phrase to me. Imagine a child's response to this, of course...I had visions of "Him" before me, looking like an angered Father Time, with brows knitted, and hands on hips, tapping His foot, and asking me why I had called Him...(Who knows why a child thinks such things...)Nevertheless, my father was adamant in his message, and I think I eventually became afraid to use His name at all. (I hope that I do not make my father to sound like a tyrant! Far from it! Strict yes, but not overbearing. When I use words such as "aggressive" and "adamant," I only mean that he was persistent and dedicated to his beliefs...My father was a quiet, deliberate sort of fellow...it was his CHARACTER which proclaimed itself loudly.) But I digress...Kathy, I do not know why I persist in this thing...I suppose that the little girl in me is still terrified of conjuring up an angry G-d.

AbdulJalil,

thank you for your lovely quotes which rather reduced me to a teary, red-eyed, puffy-cheeked, sobbing, snotty mess.

No really, ...you hit the mark...I do not know what else to say but that your remarks were desperately appreciated and well met. It is interesting too, that just yesterday I was talking to a Turkish friend about dual-text translations...I told him about this new study version of the Qur'an which I am working with - that although it was helpful, unfortunately, much of the beauty of its poetic expression in Arabic is lost in the translation to English...So, yes, I am looking forward to being able to do just as you said. If it has such a powerful effect on me in English, what might it do for me in Arabic?? I have spoken elsewhere of the miraculous healing which the Qur'anic recitations afforded me...It seems impossible, however, I feel as if it is all spiraling...upward...

Thanks to all again for you kind responses,

Best regards,

Respectfully,

Addison
NS
Re: Looking for Him? He's looking for YOU
haadiya
07/15/02 at 21:50:36
Assalamu Alaikum Addison

Shukran for what is called a Testimony about studying the Bible and its consfusion.  I just finished a book that tells of over 36,191 errors in the Bible and who ACTUALLY wrote the Bible.  The genalogy of those who write the Bible.  I too had much difficulties with the Bible.  I did however experiencing the scriptures speaking directly to me.  For example.  i am an inspiriting writer of (7) books).  I read a scripture that said.  MY TONGUE IS A PEN FOR A READY WRITER.  This scrpture was talking to me saying:  If I BE STILL and listen to GOD voice, I would be able to write, write , write.  Another Scripture said as i read.  WRITE DOWN ALL THE EVIL THAT MEN DO ON A TABLET/book, FOR A PERMANENT RECORD.  That was to me.  I am doing just that.  I am writing all the evil I encountered in two of the 7 books I am working on.  There was some other scriptures that as some Christians says leaped off the page to me.  911 I experienced numerous scriptures that leaped of the pages of the Bible.  Beofre 911 I was reading the destruction that God said he was going to cause/allow to happen to ALL Nations.  How He would start withthe HEAD (nations/Priesthood). Then came 911.  I was no shocked when that happend because I had read it in the Bible.  All have came to pass and true.  If this is what is call a personal realtionship with GOd, then I can say i experienced it.  I too asked the same questions about others claiming to have a personal realtionsgip with God and I too felt like I did not feel the same they felt.  there is a scripture in 2Corhtinians that speaks of another JESUS.  I just want a closer walk with God via the Quran.  I too can not continue to deal with inconsistencies and confusion.  I admit that the Bible has its share of inconsistencies and I am truth seeker and I like you carry my Quran like an America Express Card, Or let's say i will for now on. DO LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT.

AA-Haadiya


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