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bit of humour

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bit of humour
Nafisa
08/01/02 at 17:03:21
[slm] everyone,

this is my first post so i thought i'd try and break the ice with an Islamic joke that i read.  It tickled my funny bone so see what you think of it.

A man dashes into the Pope's office, panting, gasping, and trying to speak all at once.

"What's the matter?" the Pope asks, offering the man a seat.

"Oh your Grace!" the man exclaims, flopping on the chair. "I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"

"Give me the good news," the Pope says.

"Oh your Grace! JESUS is on the phone and he wants to speak to you!" the panting man exclaims.

"Praise the Lord!" the jublilant Pope replies, "What could the bad news possibly be?"

"Your Grace, he's calling from Makkah!"


*ka-boom tish* ;D

You've been a lovely audience, my name's Nafisa and I'll be here all week!
Re: bit of humour
Muneerah134
08/01/02 at 17:37:40
[wlm]

Tee hee! Welcome Nafisa!
;D  ;D  ;D
:-) Muneerah  []
Re: bit of humour
Fatimah
08/02/02 at 06:17:21
[slm]
Welcome to the board! Its quite addicting ;) (pretty soon it'll be your homepage) :D. InshaAllah you'll enjoy yourself here!
Re: bit of humour
Nafisa
08/02/02 at 08:57:27
[slm] Truthfinder and Muneerah,

thank you for your replies.  This site is very informative and I enjoy reading the posts.  Everyone is so knowledgeable here, I hope to learn something each time i visit!  

wassalam
Re: bit of humour
dirt
08/02/02 at 11:26:57
[slm]

.....

[img]http://www.plauder-smilies.de/eek7.gif[/img]

Ahhh, I'm just joshin.  Not a bad joke but what made me really laugh was your Vegas style ending.  I thought that was an American only phrase.  In any case, thanks for making me chuckle.

And yes, this site is cool.  Everyone here is great.  I think what sets this place apart is the level of respect people have for each other here.  It is very refreshing.  

I'm going to  finish with a joke of my own...actually it's more slapstick comedy than a joke but....
























[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/xautsch01.gif[/img]



Hahaha......ha......ah.........*cough*......um...........yeah.  I'll be quiet now.

[wlm]
08/02/02 at 11:29:21
dirt
Re: bit of humour
sabri
08/02/02 at 13:15:49
[slm]
 Welcome to the board and enjoy yourslef here insha Allah. ;-)
[wlm]
Re: bit of humour
mwishka
08/02/02 at 14:13:10
sis nafisa,

welcome, and thanks for entering with humor - keep telling us jokes and making us laugh.....

but um sis, i have to tell you about the joke within your joke that made me laugh a LOT harder than the joke itself, in fact keeps bringing a funny image to my mind even now:  sis, the pope is CATHOLIC.  and um catholics do not ever ever EVER say such things as "praise the lord"....except on um saturday night live, maybe, which is why it's so funny...   i keep having an image of the current elderly pope kind of dancin around and raising his hand in witness (as the small protestant faiths that would use such an expression might do) and saying those words you put in your joke.....    (what the pope would more likely reply is something like "glory be to God in the highest.  all glory and praise is due Him.  His grace is upon us."   or somesuch....)

(catholicism is a very um...dignified religion, scholarly, quiet, private, almost somber in most of its manifestations, and eschews the kind of lighthearted and physical style of the missionary type protestant faiths....   all worship of god in catholicism is serious and respectful....and NO i'm not saying anything here EXCEPT that i know this because my family is catholic....  and i only bring it up because there is so much confusion here at this board about christianity, the same as i'm sure there is a lot of confusion about islam at christian boards.....)

sis nafisa i apologize for um sticking a bunch of stuffy stuff in after your joke.......  :( :)  you really did make me laugh, doubly..;)

mwishka
(and um p.s.  this is an old old mormon joke.  the call is usually from salt lake city.  it's a joke told between christians all the time....)

( and um p.p.s.  BRO DIRT:  them sheep?  you rounded up them sheep for bro ahmed yet?  i KNOW i've seen sheep icons......somewhere....)

(AND um p.p.P.s.  could i please please PLEASE have a goat or camel to cheer me up??  :)   i LOVE that! :D )
08/02/02 at 18:50:51
mwishka
Re: bit of humour
dirt
08/02/02 at 20:25:01
[slm]

I've got dogs, cats, elephants, bugs, fish and many more.  Basically, I have a veritable zoo on my hands.  Here's some sheepy sheep.

[img]http://www.plauder-smilies.de/tiere/sheep.gif[/img]

[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/tiere91.gif[/img]

[wlm]
Re: bit of humour
Fatimah
08/02/02 at 20:56:13
[slm]
[color=blue]After much playing around, I finally figured it out![/color] [img]http://www.plauder-smilies.de/natur/ylflower.gif[/img]  [color=red]I got the cool smileys too..[/color] [img]http://www.plauder-smilies.de/cool2.gif[/img] [color=green]But where can I find islamic ones?[/color]
08/02/02 at 21:17:56
Fatimah
Re: bit of humour
dirt
08/03/02 at 03:30:22
[slm]

Oh no!  They found my smileys!  

[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/augen19.gif[/img]

The closest thing I could come to Islamic smileys was this little smiley bowing in worship.  

[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/div181.gif[/img]

This gives me an idea though.  Does anyone know how to animate gifs like smileys?  Maybe someone could animate a salaat smiley.  That would be cool.


[wlm]
Re: bit of humour
Nafisa
08/03/02 at 12:57:52
[slm] everyone,

Dirt, you had me worried there for a minute when I saw your gasping smiley, you little tinker!  the Vegas style ending is used in the UK too (where I'm from BTW) and I usually mime the drum parts and nod my head to one side as if I'm headbutting the cymbals....wierd.  ;)
your slapstick joke was funny too.

mwishka,  your little explanation on Catholicism was very informative and highlighted my slight inaccuracies when using catholic phrases but for the purposes of comedy I feels it does its job  :D  I have no goats or camels at my disposal but if i did have one I'd give it to you, sis.  aah.

Now I know that in showbiz you're supposed to leave the audience wanting more but I'm not one to leave my audience dissatisfied so here's another one:

Three imams were walking down a street talking, when a very beautiful young woman walked past. They all turned their gaze to the floor as she walked past. The first one slowly shook his head and said: "mashallah, mashallah.." The second one also shook his head and said: "subhanallah, subhanallah.." The third one look towards the sky and said:" INSHALLAH, INSHALLAH!!"

now, it's open mike night so if any folks wanna step up and tell any jokes they are welcome to.  

[wlm]
Re: bit of humour
dirt
08/03/02 at 13:31:10
[slm]

[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/xautsch02.gif[/img]
[wlm]
Re: bit of humour
bhaloo
08/03/02 at 13:40:28
[slm]

[quote author=Nafisa link=board=bebzi;num=1028235802;start=0#10 date=08/03/02 at 12:57:52] now, it's open mike night so if any folks wanna step up and tell any jokes they are welcome to.  
[/quote]

*tap* *tap* *tap*  Is this thing on? ???

Two men were seated in an airplane on a business trip to the UK.  They spotted a Muslim sitting in front of them and thought they might give him a hard time.  One of the fellows says to the other, do you want to go to Pakistan, and the other says oh no, there are way too many Muslims there.  So the other says, well how about Turkey that seems like a fun place.  The other says, no, that place has a lot of Muslims and I don't want to be near them.  The Muslim sitting in front of them is getting annoyed at these comments and is becoming more and more angrier.  One of the guys says well how about America, and the other says no, I hear a lot of Muslims are converting over there.  Finally the Muslim turns around and looks at them and says, why don't you both go to hell, I hear there are no Muslims there.   :D

Welcome to the board, Nafisa, enjoy your stay insha'Allah. :)
Re: bit of humour
Nafisa
08/03/02 at 13:40:44
[slm]

You can run but you can't hide!  Mwah ha ha ha ha...herr..he..ahem.

[wlm]
Re: bit of humour
eleanor
08/03/02 at 14:12:26
[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/lachen18.gif[/img]


[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/xjury09.gif[/img]
08/03/02 at 14:17:58
eleanor
Re: bit of humour
dirt
08/03/02 at 21:40:58
[slm]

I think eleanor used her 1337 mod skillz to see where my smileys come from...

:'(

[wlm]

Re: bit of humour
eiman
08/04/02 at 00:56:59
[slm]

ok this thread has got to be the funniest i have read on any msg board...(either that, or i need to get out more on these things...:))

and um.... dirt, your lil morbid men are traumatizing me.... ;) ...oh, and nafisa.... please send my salam to england.... :( i have an unhealthy obsession with it, and miss it so much its UNREAL.

take care - and sorry for being joke-less. its been a long day, and im dry on jokes tonight... ;)
[wlm]
Re: bit of humour
eleanor
08/04/02 at 10:09:24
[quote author=dirt link=board=bebzi;num=1028235802;start=15#15 date=08/03/02 at 21:40:58]
I think eleanor used her 1337 mod skillz to see where my smileys come from...
[/quote]

[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/cool20.gif[/img]


             [img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/em01.gif[/img]

I'd let everyone else know but it's
           [img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/schmuddel11.gif[/img]
08/04/02 at 10:10:07
eleanor
Re: bit of humour
sabri
08/04/02 at 10:20:29
[slm]

[quote author=eleanor link=board=bebzi;num=1028235802;start=15#17 date=08/04/02 at 10:09:24]

[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/cool20.gif[/img]


             [img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/em01.gif[/img]

I'd let everyone else know but it's
           [img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/schmuddel11.gif[/img][/quote]

Oooooh!...I figured it out.  ;-)
[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/lachen12.gif[/img]

Actually, there are two ways I've found...

[wlm]
Re: bit of humour
dirt
08/04/02 at 13:48:46
[slm]

I would just like to say that everyone on the bebzi is crazy.  Carry on.

[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/party90.gif[/img]

[wlm]
Re: bit of humour
Nafisa
08/04/02 at 18:34:25

slm

okay first things first, I'd like everyone to give it up for br Bhaloo who took to the mike and told a fab joke.  *round of applause*

Serenity, did you live in the UK or visit here?  It's lashing down with rain here.  I'm sure you ain't missing the weather!  8)

oh and i agree with sis Serenity, the smiley matchstick men are ever so slightly sinister but not as bad as the smiley with body, eek! it's just not natural I tell you.   ;D

[wlm] you crazy folks!


Re: bit of humour
muqaddar
08/04/02 at 19:38:03
[slm]

 can somebody please do that dog from men in black 2 he's way
 too cool for will smith!
Re: bit of humour
eleanor
08/06/02 at 00:28:37
[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/party74.gif[/img]


Bring it on down for:

[move][glow=red,2,300]BRO DIRT AND THE DANCIN' SMILIES[/glow][/move]
Re: bit of humour
sista
08/07/02 at 20:26:26
[slm]

Ok I'm going 2 flaunt my ignorance now - WHERE'D U GET THOSE ICONS FROM?

Br Dirt - the lil men were cool, but Dancing Duke Smiley totally cracked me up!  :D

[wlm]

:-)
Re: bit of humour
dirt
08/09/02 at 03:26:30
[slm]

Yeah, that dancing smiley is pretty hilarious.  As for where I get them.....

[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/conf36.gif[/img]

......I don't recollect, senator....

[wlm]
Re: bit of humour
eleanor
08/09/02 at 06:32:11
[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/conf09.gif[/img]

it's a mystery!
Re: bit of humour
M.F.
08/09/02 at 08:01:37
[quote author=eleanor link=board=bebzi;num=1028235802;start=15#25 date=08/09/02 at 06:32:11][img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/conf09.gif[/img]

it's a mystery![/quote]


If you don't tell, I will...

[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/div39.gif[/img]  


[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/frech11.gif[/img]

ok I'm outa here

[img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/div63.gif [/img]


Re: bit of humour
Fatimah
08/09/02 at 08:17:23
[slm]
You guys are toooo funny!  :D Poor dirt use to be so cool with all his smileys, now everyone stole them..  :'(  Here, have a bebzi  []  :D
08/09/02 at 08:20:19
Fatimah
Re: bit of humour
dirt
08/09/02 at 10:27:19
[slm]

My smilies!  My poor, poor smilies.  At least they're in good muslim hands...but still, they were like my children....  :'(

[wlm]
08/09/02 at 10:27:48
dirt
Re: bit of humour
Nafisa
08/10/02 at 11:10:16
[slm]

okay, you've all shown your smiley prowess (which I'm sadly lacking).  So, I'm posting a nice piccie in an effort to impress.  Ta-da!

[img]http://islamicity.com/Culture/ICALLIG/ART05.GIF[/img]
Re: bit of humour
eleanor
08/10/02 at 11:16:08
[slm]

Masha Allah!!! Very nice, better than any old smiley....


                                           [img]http://www.jordysworld.de/emoticons/xjury10.gif[/img]
Re: bit of humour
Nafisa
08/10/02 at 16:35:44
[slm]

thanks Eleanor.  i love Islamic calligraphy.  there's loads of stuff on the net which i've come across that's real pretty.  I used to write calligraphy as a hobby except i wrote English not Arabic!  anyhoo, the Arabs invented it so that's rather cool. "nbsp;

But there's nothing like a good smiley to cheer you up. we should have Smiley Parade.  okay, I'll start.

[move]   >:( ;) :) ::) :D ;D :-[ :o :) [/move]
Re: bit of humour
Nafisa
08/10/02 at 17:22:30
[slm]

just been surfing and found a coupla jokes which made me larf.  just listen to this one:

What did the inflatable teacher say to the inflatable pupil who brought a pin into the inflatable school?
You've let me down, you've let the school down but worst of all you've let yourself down!

here's another:

What was the badger doing in the sky? Falling

well, it made me larf anyway,  ;D

[sub] no badgers were harmed in the telling of this joke [/sub]
Re: bit of humour
muqaddar
08/10/02 at 20:07:01
[slm]

ok a good one liner....

 On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK".   ;D   ;D   ;D
Re: bit of humour
readagain
08/10/02 at 20:44:26
k a bumper sticker:
"suicide is one way of telling god...You cant Fire me..I QUIT  >:( "


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