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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| How do you express your sympathy... |
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| Aurora |
| 08/05/02 at 21:14:29 |
| ..and offer words of comfort upon the death of a non-muslim to their non-muslim family members. I always have a hard time figuring out what to say, specifically due to the differences in beliefs, at times the words you find seem so empty, so inadequate because its almost like you have to keep them devoid of your own faith - which is impossible, but nevertheless it gives that feeling of inadequacy because you can't express yourself in the way that you would've liked to ....does that make sense to anyone out there? I mean death is imminent for all of us, and its awareness only increases the uncertain fragility of the lives we live in the world. Minutes, hours, days, weeks and even years pass, the world keeps turning, but it wont turn forever, one day this seemingly stable world will come to an end just like our own lives, and all but for our lives our actions our intentions will become nothing, this life is but a test....(i'm struggling to say what I want to say).....i guess, i'm trying to ask you how do you 'reconcile' (thats not the word i want to use but can't think of a better) their beliefs - whatever they may be - with your/our own.... I think i'm going to stop typing before i confuse you guys even more, i guess to put it simply, what would you do upon the death of a non-muslim acquantaince. |
| Re: How do you express your sympathy... |
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| DO3aa |
| 08/05/02 at 21:38:22 |
| hi aurora :) i've no much idea about what should b said in such suituations , but i think that just visiting them or offering ur help has a great meaninig .... hope u get more satisfactory replies |
| Re: How do you express your sympathy... |
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| mwishka |
| 08/05/02 at 22:23:41 |
| sis aurora, i don't know how in your heart you reconcile these beliefs, so i can't reply to that part of your dilemma, but as far as offering words of kindness to a non-muslim family, i don't think the words you say are what matters at all..... i think what most reassures any family when they're going through the process of separating from a loved one who has died is to hear sincerity from those who wish to help them with the transition. probably letting them know a few words of how you appreciated their beloved family member and a way to connect you with that person, as in "your sister/daughter was such a kind woman. we worked together for several years. i really enjoyed her company......" and then whatever you would add personally as your own expression of the idea of death or expression of your faith. in any situation of death, no matter what, most people are not so numb or dumb as to have any feelings that someone said or did not say the right thing. most people would welcome your presence alone, even if you found yourself unable to say much of anything... i wouldn't worry about exactly what words you say.........assuming you had no intention to say harsh things, which i don't think you did..... mwishka |
| Re: How do you express your sympathy... |
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| eiman |
| 08/05/02 at 22:35:32 |
| [slm] ..... without a doubt...i would say what i truly and sincerely felt. anything else that wasn't in tune with what was being sent to me from within would be utterly empty and meaningless...... in which case i think its simply better to remain silent... i mean, realisitically, i would substitute things such as Allah (swt) to God... and so on, however, i wouldn't stop myself from saying anything less that what i knew was right. and im certain that whoever your condolences are going out to, will appreciate your kind, truthful and sincere words beyond belief..... and definitely more then your average person who is expressing sorrow just for the sake of doing so. and will definitely not underappreciate your words simply because they happen to be based on a foundation that lies on a different (and higher...;)) wavelength then theirs. its unfortunate, but death happens to be one of those occurences that slaps us in the face when we least expect it, and puts us in our place... it gives us a renewed perspective on our lives because it happens to trigger questions that were never posed before... so you never know that in NOT keeping ppl devoid of your own faith.... you might just make them ask that one question about islam that could mean everything, and maybe bring someone that much closer to the path of truth and sincerity. :) may Allah (swt) guide us all, and grant us the strength to continuously nurture the ember within us.... and allow its flames to grow only stronger, ..... fi aman illah, serenity |
| Re: How do you express your sympathy... |
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| Aurora |
| 08/07/02 at 12:46:07 |
| JazakAllah:) Thanks all of you for your words, they gave me that lil' needed push of that worrisome shelf of uncertainty. I'm too much of a worrier my mind always turning over the various possibilities, which isn't right because we are supposed to act in accordance with our teachings and put our trust in Allah swt. But hmm okay before I go off topic. [i]so you never know that in NOT keeping ppl devoid of your own faith.... you might just make them ask that one question about islam that could mean everything, and maybe bring someone that much closer to the path of truth and sincerity. [/i] you're exactly right - jazakAllah for making me see that [i]may Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala) guide us all, and grant us the strength to continuously nurture the ember within us.... and allow its flames to grow only stronger, ..... [/i] Ameen |
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