A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Surprising news |
|---|
| Serena |
| 08/10/02 at 00:20:48 |
| My dearest Brothers and Sisters in Islam, Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. I pray you are all in the best of health and iman! :) Well, I tried to stay away from here for a year but I have a serious dilemma that I need your advice on…. My one living (non-Muslim) sister informed me today that she is bi-sexual. Well, I don’t know what to do. First of all I am highly saddened and disappointed by this news. :( I feel like I want to turn my back on her and never speak with her again. I know that’s not right… Second, the *only* time she *ever* speaks with me is when she wants something, namely money. If I don’t have the money to give her then she usually stops speaking with me for several months. Third, she has advertised in a local newspaper that she is looking for a bi-female or a couple for *entertainment* (shaking head :(! ) My husband has asked me to cut off relations with her. :( Please, can someone kindly advise me on what I should do? Wa’assalam, Serena PS – Everything else is wonderful, Alhamdulillah! :-X :-/ :-* |
| Re: Surprising news |
|---|
| Fatimah |
| 08/10/02 at 02:39:54 |
| [slm] If you want to cut the ties with her I think that is ok, but make sure you tell her what she's doing is wrong. Do you want to keep the connection? If so, you need to talk to your husband about this, and make lots of dawah to your sister. Allahu Alim. Question: I entered Islaam five years ago, and my family find it hard to accept. My sister cut off ties with me for a year, then she got in touch and asked me to forgive her, which I did. But she has not stopped insulting my Islaam and attacking me at every chance she gets. I told her several times that she is hurting me, but she didn’t stop. After years of suffering, I sent her a letter telling me to contact me only if her attitude changed, otherwise, not to get in touch. Did I do the right thing? Answer: Praise be to Allaah Because of the insults that you suffered, there is nothing wrong with what you did, in sha Allaah. This would not be considered as breaking family ties", and it may give her the opportunity to think about what she has done. Al-‘Allaamah al’Safaareeni, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in his book Ghidhaa’ al-Albaab: "Ibn Abi Hamzah said: ‘The ties of kinship may be by money, by helping at times of need, by warding off harm, by meeting them with a smiling face, and by praying for them. The general meaning is that one helps them in good ways as much as possible and helps them to resist or fight evil as much as possible. This is the case if one’s relatives are righteous, but if they are kaafirs or are wrongdoers, then cutting off ties with them for the sake of Allaah is how one maintains the tie, on the condition that one tries to warn them, and tells them that the reason for cutting the ties is because of their deviation from the truth. At the same time, the connection of making du’aa’ for them should remain, and you should pray for them in their absence that Allaah will guide them to the Right Path.(al-Tuhfah: Ghidha’ al-Albaab, 1/356). And Allaah knows best Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) |
| 08/10/02 at 02:44:13 |
| Fatimah |
| Re: Surprising news |
|---|
| Barr |
| 08/10/02 at 09:40:18 |
| Assalamu'alaikum :-) In support of the post above, I'd like to share a true story of something similar. A muslim woman married a catholic man via civil marriage. The husband was a nominal catholic, but she insisted that they get married via that way, coz, she wouldn't want to hurt his mother, who is a staunch catholic, who would be terribly hurt if her son converted to Islam. At the same time, this muslim woman's mother was so heartbroken, and depressed, crying and begging her to have a Muslim marriage, and hence, teach the "then" boyfriend of Islam, and become Muslim first etc. But she ignored her mother's pleas and said that he is a good man, having all the universal values of goodness. Her argument was: What will Islam do to him to make a difference? She has met Muslim men who are far worse in behaviour and character than him. So they got married. Now, the Muslim woman's mother and family were at loss.. what shall they do with their daughter... cut all familial ties? If they don't, would it be a sign that they are "encouraging" or "accepting" such a state of rebellion that their daughter did? So, they discussed, and decided to remain cordial and friendly, however, with a purpose. Her mother would often visit the Catholic mother-in-law and her daughter and her new family, in their family gatherings, Xmas etc.. and after a period of time, the catholic mother, began to understand more about Islam, and is not as hard-hearted as before, and was even advising her son to consider Islam. And the son did.. he became closer to Islam, and even wanted to become a Muslim and re-marry the Muslim woman, in accordance to the Islamic rites, mashaAllah. And this process was done with a lot of patience, strength and hikmah. It will take a lot of time and hardwork, but the Muslim mother perservered, with endless du'a for her daughter and the "son-in-law". The Muslim mother never lost hope and trust from ALlah. And sister Serena, I don't really know what are the dynamics of your relationship with your sister, or how comparable your case is with the story I told. But the point is... sometimes, gentleness with hikmah and help from Allah, can turn the hardest of heart... for Allah is the One that comes between a man and his heart. And sometimes, if we feel we can't do the job, we still pray for Allah's guidance and others who may help bring them closer to Allah's guidance. I don't think this story gave you practical tips, but inshaAllah, an inspiration for your next course of action, whatever that you decide to do. Allahua'lam :-) P.S. All seems well, but currently, the Muslim daughter still resist on having a Muslim marriage. She doesn't see the need. Please pray for Allah's guidance to reach her heart and soul, and be manifest. Ameen. P.P.S. I'm so glad that everything else is wonderful! :-X :-/ :-* Alhamdulillah :) |
| Re: Surprising news |
|---|
| humble_muslim |
| 08/10/02 at 23:39:37 |
| AA Serena, welcome back. I did not know you got married! Congratulations!!! |
| NS |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |