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Marriage Contracts?
Anonymous
10/21/02 at 16:24:31
As-Salamu Alaykum Wr.Wb.

                I had a question about the marriage contract.  At the time of the nikkah, what should a
                women write in her marriage contract.  I know many people have various opinions about this
                but if anyone would like to enlighten me on some helpful advice on what to put in a
                marriage contract it will be of great help.  What are some good things that a women should
                really think about in terms of her contract.

                J/khairan.
Re: Marriage Contracts?
WhatDFish
10/22/02 at 03:50:32
assalaamu`alaikum

you talkin abt pre-nups? i too would like to know what sisters would include in their pre-nups . . . . .
Re: Marriage Contracts?
jannah
10/22/02 at 04:14:17
[slm]

There's a book that contains sample Marriage Contracts by Sr. Hedaya Hartford in Syria. I think it's published out of the UK. It should help you out in writing it. As for what you should put in it.. that's a whole 'nother story and I think it really depends on you and your spouse and what you want from your marriage.

One thing that was suggested by scholars at a previous ISNA for women to put in their contracts is that in event of dispute there be a mutual arbitrator that you both can appoint, like an Imam or someone. Also recommended was that sisters not only get married Islamically but legally as well.

There are a lot of past threads on this subject too. check out the ARK:)

Re: Marriage Contracts?
Al-Basha
10/24/02 at 02:44:59
[slm]

How does it work out in the event of a dispute? Does that mean where the couple are wanting to get a divorced? I mean what if it is a small argument over why the husband didn't take out the garbage hehe ?




[quote author=jannah link=board=sis;num=1035231871;start=0#2 date=10/22/02 at 04:14:17][slm]

There's a book that contains sample Marriage Contracts by Sr. Hedaya Hartford in Syria. I think it's published out of the UK. It should help you out in writing it. As for what you should put in it.. that's a whole 'nother story and I think it really depends on you and your spouse and what you want from your marriage.

One thing that was suggested by scholars at a previous ISNA for women to put in their contracts is that in event of dispute there be a mutual arbitrator that you both can appoint, like an Imam or someone. Also recommended was that sisters not only get married Islamically but legally as well.

There are a lot of past threads on this subject too. check out the ARK:)

[/quote]
Re: Marriage Contracts?
jannah
10/24/02 at 03:12:44
[wlm]

Hopefully smaller arguments like that 'taking out the garbage' can be resolved at home.. (by the guy doing it.. j/k :))  sometimes smaller arguments like that are really symptoms of something bigger? Allahu alam.. Maybe they wanted couples to put that clause in because sometimes there is just a stalemate and they can't agree on a certain issue.. but if an imam or objective arbitrator comes in it could save their marriage...
Re: Marriage Contracts?
IYT
11/19/02 at 11:52:13
[saw]
I sometimes wish that my ex and I had drawn up a more elaborate marriage contract.  Ours was very simple, one that the Imam from the Islamic Center had on file.  It was signed by all parties and that was it, we were married.  a couple of months after the Nikaah, we found that we were pregnant, by this time he had taken another wife who was also pregnant.  He sent me to my parents house, after the child was born i came back to the same state he was living in and he was livid with me.  He had pretty much abandoned me and my child. We were living in my car for a short time and a fellow sister took us into her house, fed us and gave us a place to sleep until i could afford a place to live.  When I asked him for Talaaq he refused.  I finally had to go to the Imam and request him to end our marriage.  

the sister who said to get married legally as well is right on the money!
Re: Marriage Contracts?
theOriginal
11/19/02 at 13:36:05
[slm]

SubhanAllah sister IYT.  That's horrible  :'(

I hope things are well with you now, inshaAllah.

What if someone wants to get divorced because they just don't feel they can live the rest of their life with this person.  People are different, granted.  And a marriage cannot work if Allah (swt) is not on your side.  Because He (swt) is the one that instills love, trust, and compassion between a husband and a wife.  Otherwise, how could two people from completely different lifestyles, who have been brought up by different parents, who may have different idealogies, levels of comfort, etc, live together?  It is also true that divorce is one of the most disliked things.  

However, what if you get married, and you just think "umm...nahhh....i can't do it.  I can't put up with your mood swings, I can't deal with your mom, I wanna go home...i QUEEEEET!!"  Then what?    

(I ain't married, so I'm not talkin' bout maself.)

Wasalaam.

SF.


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