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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| I don't wanna be Pregnant! |
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| Kathy |
| 10/31/02 at 21:42:13 |
| [slm] What advice would you give to a older woman like me- mid 40's- whose had kids, youngest is 10 and her much younger husband wants more kids? |
| Re: I don't wanna be Pregnant! |
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| Jenna |
| 11/01/02 at 00:11:08 |
| [wlm] To ask Allah to give you guys what is best for you........ ;) Your Sis'n Islaam Jenna :-) |
| Re: I don't wanna be Pregnant! |
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| BUSHRA |
| 11/01/02 at 08:18:52 |
| [wlm], I suppose what sis.Jenna said would be the best advice because it really is up to the individual. However, if I were in that situation myself , I don't think I would go for another one :-[. Actually I feel that way already which is kind of sad :( because I know what a great blessing my own two are but it's a tremendous responsibility in every possible way. I am in my early 20's and yet me and my partner feel overwhelmed at the thought of a third one ::). We have one of each , both a boy and a girl and sometimes feel that it is enough but I am often told by both my inlaws and my own family that two children are not enough ,i.e. think of the old age, etc, etc :P. If I was in my 40's , I wouldn't be worried as much about the pregnancy or delivary as much as I would be worried about the child's upbringing. Then again I think mothers in their mid or late 30's make more patient mothers then those in their 20's. So I guess a mother in her forties would have a lot more wisdom, patience and maturity to pass on to her own kids :). When I lived in Jeddah with my parents, I remember that our neighbour who was a young arab woman in her 20s , was pregnant and after she had given birth , we were told that her mother in her early 40's was also due to give birth in a few months. I thought it was lovely to have your grandchild and your own child play together and grow up as cousins and stuff :). A very good friend of mine had a little girl :-* last year mashallah which made it her fourth child. She's in her mid 30's and has two teen age girls as well mashallah. She wanted the fourth one because she wanted her third child, a ( 5year old boy) to have somone to play with. Now she says she wouldn't mind going for a fifth one, :o because it would give her fourth one some company plus she says it keeps her young :D. Anyway that's enough rambling from me, Bushra :-) |
| Re: I don't wanna be Pregnant! |
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| theOriginal |
| 11/01/02 at 13:33:01 |
| [slm] [quote]She wanted the fourth one because she wanted her third child, a ( 5year old boy) to have somone to play with. Now she says she wouldn't mind going for a fifth one, because it would give her fourth one some company plus she says it keeps her young . [/quote] lol...talk about a vicious circle. MashaAllah that's great. :) Wasalaam. SF. |
| Re: I don't wanna be Pregnant! |
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| Kathy |
| 11/05/02 at 10:13:22 |
| [slm] Thanks to those that IM me with their concerns. I was talking to her last night, I understand her dilema. She can not say "no" to her husband. He refuses to use any kind of accepted birth control. He can't marry another, financially. Her other concerns were that this like the others would be a "trophy" child. All his other buddies are having kids and he does not help ,teach or pay attention to the ones he has! She was wondering if it would be lying if she secretly used birth control and is she than abusing a "right" of her husband and marriage. We did get tee heeing when it was suggested that she go to bed with 5 layers of clothes on! To ask Allah swt what is right is best....but sometimes so hard to do! |
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