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Forbidden to wear hijab by parent..please help!

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Forbidden to wear hijab by parent..please help!
noor0183
11/18/02 at 19:19:31
[slm]
Hi, I hope everyone is doing fine here (Alhamdulillah). I'm a new member to this message board, so forgive me if I say anything that may offend anyone.  I was just wondering if anyone can help me out with this dilemma I am having.  See, I have recently decided to start wearing hijab ( I thank Allah (swt) for guiding me to the right path)..however, my dad has forbidden me to wear hijab. He believes that it is an option and that wearing hijab leads to "extremism"?  I completely disagree and believe that hijab is a wonderful blessing and is mandatory.  I was wondering if any sisters here can help me or give me some advice on how to handle this situation.  I still want to wear hijab, but how will i be able to convince my father? I told my father that in the end we do not answer to anyone but Allah, so we should not be worried about what other people say... I would really appreciate if anyone can respond, Jazakhallah..Assalam-Alaikum.
Re: Forbidden to wear hijab by parent..please help
oneway2paradise
11/19/02 at 02:08:05
[slm]

[quote] I told my father that in the end we do not answer to anyone but Allah[/quote]

There is your answer in your own words.  Say that and add, "and I WILL obey Allah before I obey you.  Hijab is not an option and so I must ignore your request in this issue."  I know this may be difficult but it would be much more difficult to face Allah on the Day of Judgment after disobeying Him and obeying your father.  Is your father Muslim?  I hope this helps insha Allah.

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
Amber :-)  :-*
Re: Forbidden to wear hijab by parent..please help
noor0183
11/19/02 at 15:24:58
 [wlm]
Thank you for your reply sister Amber. I really appreciate it. I will try to speak to my father again.  Yes, he is muslim. I know that obeying Allah is more important than obeying your father. I just hope that inshallah my father realizes the importance of hijab.  By the way, does anyone know where exactly in the Quran it talks of covering the head, body, etc? Jazakhallah, Assalam-Alaikum
-noreen
Re: Forbidden to wear hijab by parent..please help
jannah
11/19/02 at 15:47:29
[slm]

Well I think the most you can do is show him the evidence for hijab, the verses, hadiths, the unanimity of ALL the scholars of islam that say it is mandatory. Maybe you can tell him the benefits: respect, no one will bother you, take advantage of you, it's a protection for you, etc.

After all that I think that it might take some time to get used to, so just be gentle and nice but steady in continuing what you think is right.
Re: Forbidden to wear hijab by parent..please help
Sabr
11/20/02 at 09:36:40
[slm]
Sis ....Allhamdulillah that u are wearing the hijab.Your character reminds me of the early muslim women ....eg the Ansar women. You display great strength and I pray that other muslim women would have that same strength and courage :) :-*

Sis my advise is the same as the other replies. However i urge you to make DUA for your father so that allah would lift the veil from his eyes and he would undersatnd . When explaining to him ,,,,refer to quran 24:31 and 33:55 where allah  tells the believing women to cover themselves and explain to him what  the Ansar woment did when  the verse was revealed . (they tore their aprons and coverd themselves..check tafseer of ayat i just mentioned)


Sis , u can also get the imam in yr masjid to talk to him as well INSHALLAH
I pray that allah would continue to guide us to the path of quran and sunah. Ameen
[wlm]

Re: Forbidden to wear hijab by parent..please help
eleanor
11/21/02 at 06:36:45
[slm]
I reckon the burden of proof is on him - tell him that until he can prove to you that the hijab is an option and not fard, you will continue to wear hijab.
If he gets really angry about it then put on hijab when you leave the home and try to avoid him seeing you in hijab as much as possible.


Allah will help you, Insha Allah
Re: Forbidden to wear hijab by parent..please help
Ruqayyah
11/24/02 at 01:24:39

[slm]

alhamdulilah for wearing it sister! if it is any reassurance, my parents were the same way in the beginning. they really didn't like it and thought it was too "arab". but w/ time, they got used to it. so inshallah show them your evidence and be patient w/ them and inshallah it'll work out. i'll make dua for you :)

[wlm]
Re: Forbidden to wear hijab by parent..please help
AyeshaZ
11/24/02 at 10:46:24

Asalamu alykum,
I went through the same ordeal.. "too arab"  ;)
But alhamdullilah, my parents have accepted hijab, and some of my close family members respect hijab now. When i started hijab, i felt like it was huge test b/c people around me not that supportive but after a while alhamdullilah all these doors opened for me. May Allah(swt) give you  himah to continue all your good work and remember Allah(swt) tests us in different ways. :)
wasalamu alykum
Re: Forbidden to wear hijab by parent..please help
an
11/24/02 at 14:45:54
[slm] sis,

Congrats for wearing the hijab. Subhanallah ..it always makes me smile whenever I hear stories of sisters who've started wearing the hijab...

My parents are not as yet supportive too .. it makes me sad but that's alright...just go for it and InshaAllah, Allah will open their heart....

Wear the hijab and also be an example of a good Muslimah and maybe they'll see the change and become more receptive to learning more abt the deen InshaAllah....

In the beginning when my dad told me to stop wearing it, I was so down....my friend told me a story of a friend... this friend of hers started wearing the hijab... but her father was really against it.... wherever she went... her father would be there scolding her to take off her hijab ..and kept pulling her hijab in  the public!

But you can't imagine what happened a couple of years later.....her father from being against it...become someone who is even more pious than her! Trully...Allah changes people's hearts...

So yup... I say go for it sis  :-)
Also, it would be good also to try to ask your father why he thinks that wearing the hijab is an option. Sometimes, hidden behind all of what he thinks is fear. Maybe he fears for you that you'll become too extreme and do something unimaginable ..(I'm not sure where he got that preconceive ideas from but you can ask...)

But it all stems because he cares about you as his daughter and doesn't want anything to happen to you. That's why I think it's such a good opportunity for you to do dawah also... try to gently explain to him ...rationalise his ideas....and remind him to fear Allah first...not humans....

it does take some time and patience.... I'm still trying to convince my parents not too worry too much and to just make dua for me and really trust Allah instead....
but yes...InshaAllah they'll slowly understand...

Last night, I was listening to Sister Ayesha Yilmaz's speech abt the situation in Turkey for our hijabi sisters there  (see bottom of page http://www.youngmuslims.ca/media/speeches.asp?offset=20) ... it made me cry hearing it....
...let us also make duas for our sisters everywhere who've been robbed of their rights to wear the hijab...may Allah give them much strength and open the hearts of those who're oppressing them...amien..

Wassalam :-)
11/24/02 at 15:17:28
an
Re: Forbidden to wear hijab by parent..please help
noor0183
11/24/02 at 19:34:38
[slm]
Thank you so much for your kind replies sisters!  I am so glad that I came across this site and this message board. You all have great hearts, mashallah and may Allah make them even greater  :)
I will always make dua (inshallah) that our other muslim sisters learn the beauty of hijab and start before it's too late as well. Because it has opened new doors to me and I'm sure other muslimahs as well.  Jazakhallah..
[wlm]


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