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Masjid Etiquette
Anonymous
11/24/02 at 03:00:10
As Salaamu 'Alaikum,

I have gone to numerous iftars over the years but have stopped going so much because it
has become a bit uncomfortable.  A number of sisters come in for the iftar with their
children and just let the children go.  I mean they turn them loose and don't watch what they
do or say.  When someone chastises the children they become upset.  I have seen this at
jummah as well.  I know that children are going to be children and they should get use to
coming to the masjid but I feel that they should be taught etiquette of the masjid.  The
older sisters should not just let their children run through the masjid like it is a
playground.  It was even so bad that the brothers had to ask if the sisters knew where their
children were and for them to get them.  What can be done about this situation?
Re: Masjid Etiquette
BroHanif
11/24/02 at 03:29:59
Salaams

Hmm a tough one, if you say something which is take out of context it may be that the children or thier parents don't come again. However, little children running around and disrupting peoples salaah is again a cause for concern.

Yet I'm of the slighly liberal type, I think nowadays since the kids are bombarded with TV, and game consoles every where there is a danger of them going away from Islam. The best place for any kids would be in an Islamic environment, i.e. the masjid.

Some of the siters may also be coming to the mosque because there is no one else to care for the kids, faced with an option of sticking your four year old in front of the box and watching Oprah or do you take them to the mosque where they both will see other Muslims and develop thier Islamic awareness skills.

Perhaps the masjid should cater like a facilty for a creche or have dedicated bro's and sisters who entertain the children, talk to them, play with them and above all make them welcome.  Rememember if you do it with the right intention its dawah. Children have an amzing tendency to learn and pick things up, if you speak to them softly that to run around while salah is being conducted is not wise, or on the aspects of controlling the tonuge they will understand.

The children are our future, if we nuture them from an early age then surely we have got them for life otherwise we will be giving them dawah from years from now and the example of the masjid will  be re-layed in their minds that its a place full of fuddy duddies and people who show little rahmah and love.

Salaams

Hanif
NS
Re: Masjid Etiquette
theOriginal
11/24/02 at 07:10:42
[slm]

Well...isn't that a pet peeve.  

I think that the men should take the kids in the men's side....As a child, I was always much more well-behaved when I was with my dad.  (It always seemed more official, somehow)

But that's just an opinion.

I find the best way is not to expect the sisters to handle their kids.  They usually don't.  They have become so tuned into the sound of their kids wailing that I guess they don't understand how discomforting it can be.  So I always tell the child to sit down, in front of his/her mother.  Usually the mother will then say something like "Look she's telling you to be quiet, she doesn't like it."  After a couple of "no-no's", the child permanently sits down...ORRR the mother leaves with him/her.  

I truly believe that this "adab" is something that can be taught to the kid even at the age of 6 months....IF the mother knows her child's limits very well....I'm not a mother, but I've heard it's intuitive ;)

And I like BroHanif's suggestion..

[quote]Perhaps the masjid should cater like a facilty for a creche or have dedicated bro's and sisters who entertain the children, talk to them, play with them and above all make them welcome[/quote]

I pray that Allah grants all of us with children that are easy to handle.... (it's my primordial fear)

Wasalaam.

SF.
Re: Masjid Etiquette
Abd_al-Rashid
11/24/02 at 08:27:03
[slm]

Children are wonderful.  At the masjid it's good to play with them and at the same time teach them etiquette.  You make it fun so that they want to come to the masjid.  What me and my friends do is line them up to race in the parking lot, or sit down and play islamic q & a.  

Question: is it ok to yell inside the masjid?

Children: no....

Question: Why not?

Children: Because ppl are praying and they need to concentrate and for that they need quiet

Then u give them sweets.  At the masjid for iftar the ice cream truck comes, so now we tell them "if we see you running or yelling when ppl are praying no ice cream for you"  

The goal is to create the big brother/sister atmosphere, and like Hanif pointed out make it a pleasant place for them.  Some parents are overwhelmed with work and such,  so it's like that saying "it takes a village to raise a child"

[wlm]


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