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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| In need of some desperate help |
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| noor0183 |
| 12/12/02 at 06:43:18 |
| [slm] I hope you are all doing fine Alhamdulillah. Unfortunately, I'm not doing so well. I posted before about my dad forbidding me to wear hijab. Well my mom just woke me up for Fajr and then she told me that from today onwards I will not wear hijab anymore. I just started on monday! i feel so depressed and to makematters worse, I would have sneaked out and wore it but my mom took away all my scarves, and she said "do it for me, i can't answer your questions, but if you don't listen to me, something bad will happen to me". i don't get it, and she is not telling me. Brothers and sisters I'm in a dilemma. What should I do? I know crying is not the solution but that's all I can do. How can I go back to college, looking like a total hypocrite to everyone? Plus, I'm so scared. I mean this is a grave sin isn't it? i do not want to take it off, i will feel so bad without it. Please help! [wlm] |
| Re: In need of some desperate help |
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| jannah |
| 12/12/02 at 07:17:15 |
| [wlm] Sister maybe you can call one of your friends and ask them to meet you with a scarf or just bring one and hide it in your bag. Is there an MSA room on campus? You could go there and keep a stash. Wear a hood or something for now.... Most parents are pretty oblivious of what goes on at college itself, so if you wore hijab there I doubt they'd ever find out.... |
| Re: In need of some desperate help |
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| Maliha |
| 12/12/02 at 08:11:18 |
| [slm] I like Jannah's idea... I was thinking maybe you can get a local Imam involved to talk to your parents. Make lotsa duahs that Allah Inshaallah guides them and opens their heart. I will keep you in my duahs. Sis, Maliha :-) [wlm] |
| Re: In need of some desperate help |
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| Rameeza |
| 12/12/02 at 09:42:12 |
| [slm] I think that obeying your parents is important until it leads you to disobey Allah. SInce your parents are asking you to disobey Allah, I dont know if you should go against them in secret. Yet, I agree that, if you openly disobey them, they might take the kind of action that you can't deal with. The other sisters' advice seems like a good short term solution but you need to get help from the muslim community in your area for a long term one. For example, the sisters advice on talking to your Imam seems like a plan. I just feel bad to tell a child to go against his/her parents. But, your case seems unique. Insha Allah I will pray for you. I know how hard it is to start covering because I started about two years ago. Even the slightest comment seems more than it is. It takes a while to get used to other people's reactions and then ignore it. I can ONLY imagine your situation. Reading your note makes me feel grateful for mine, so I need to say Jazaka Allah to you, so with this I hope and pray that ALlah will give you the best help, soon. Ameen. |
| Re: In need of some desperate help |
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| noor0183 |
| 12/12/02 at 14:23:54 |
| [slm] Thank you so much sisters for replying back and giving me some good advice. Luckily, I had one of my winter scarves in my bag and it was big enough to wear over my head so I had to resort to that for today lol. It is true that I cannot do that forever and my parents need to find out someday...the Imam solution is a good one, jazakhallah for that, but unfortunately.. my dad is a bit pessimistic and he has this weird opinion that most Imams are "fake"? Astaghfarullah, and I hope I did not offend anyone, because that is not what I think. I just pray that he (insh'Allah) is guided to the right path. Thank you for your prayers sisters, I am very grateful. [wlm] |
| Re: In need of some desperate help |
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| zomorrud |
| 12/12/02 at 14:31:16 |
| assalamu alaikum, dear sister, you have my sympathy. i would like to assure you that you are doing the right thing by insisting on doing what Allah has ordered you to do, despite the disapproval of your parents. look at the current situation as a test to your patience with your parents. in terms of practical advice, do whatever you can, and you can do alot, to drive the message that you are DETERMINED to wear the hijab. Stash food in your room without anyone knowing, then declare that you are not going to eat or drink until they take you seriously and respect your wishes to obey Allah. Maybe they'll soften up then. also, in the absence of a scarf, wear a hat or toque or something when you go out. Be resourceful. Don't let them break your spirit. Just say that it isn't fair what they are doing. Rebel a little here, and it is in your interest to do so, because, look at the alternative. In terms of friends, this situation will be a test of which friendships are true. Learn from the outcome. Surrond yourself with supportive friends. Make lots of dua, and ask friends to make lots of dua. Read surah yaseen frequently. Wake up before fajr and pray 2 raka'at sincerely asking Allah to help you and strengthen you in the situation, while softening the hearts of your parents towards you. Dua in the last third of the night is accepted insha'Allah. Stay focused and positive. You are the one who is right here. Don't lose sight of that. take care z. |
| Re: In need of some desperate help |
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| Sis_Malak |
| 12/13/02 at 02:43:06 |
| [slm] :-) Sister, I have a friend at college with the same problem. She just started wearing hijab this semester, and is the only one in her family to do so. Her parents expressed their disapproval, but she kept wearing it. Finally, her father told her that he wouldn't let her go out of the house until she took off her hijab. So she said, "Ok dad" and went back to her room. She didn't leave the house for 4 days, and then they got the point. Maybe you can try this after finals. Show them how serious you are. Right now they think that they can get you to give up, and that's what they want you to do. I have another friend whose father told her that he'd divorce her mother if she wore the hijab. She had to wear it in secret for a long time, but then she told her dad straight out that she was going to wear it and that if he did anything to her mom because of it that he would have to face Allah for it. I think she also asked the imam to talk to her dad. Just some suggestions. Hope it helps. Tara |
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