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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| iftars and eid common problems/dawah opportunity |
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| amatullah |
| 12/17/02 at 21:22:53 |
| [slm] I didn't want to ask during ramadan but now that it's over (sadly) what was some of your experience with the Group Iftars? Were they in the actual masjid or rented hall or annex to masjid? was the men and the women in the same hall or two seperate? How would you think is the best way to deal with improper dress for women in the masjid? should it be addressed or better left in order to encourage them to come again and hopefully learn gradually? Do you feel it is sinning to take part of such groups when people mix the sexes in the iftars, when they are not dressed or behave according to shari3a? what do you suggest if the trend is to eat and then go home and mostly not staying for taraweeh even on weekends? Finally, many people see Eid day instead of socializing as a ibada, it is a break from ibada of ramadan, they come to the masjid with extra make-up short sleeves, duppattas on shoulders, men and women shake hands,etc If there is no one imam in a masjid do you think the responsibility falls on others to educate each other and enjoin good and forbid evil? what is the best way to go about it? |
| Re: iftars and eid common problems/dawah opportuni |
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| se7en |
| 12/21/02 at 00:59:37 |
| as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatAllah, One thing that's really beautiful about Ramadan is the number of people you see in the masjid :) You get to see a lot of new faces, and faces you haven't seen in a while, and reconnect with Allah *together*. I think that for many people who may have lost sight of their focus, Ramadan is an opportunity given to them to return, to Allah, to practicing, and that gives us the opportunity to nurture and encourage that. I think one of our biggest faults is that we tend to judge and draw conclusions without fully understanding a persons circumstances or situation. Rarely is the solution to bringing a person back to the the deen treating them with harshness. One advice I can give: please, don't ever, ever, *ever* approach a sister you don't know and lecture her about not wearing the hijab, or other 'inappropriate' behavior. I've heard Sh. Muhammad al-Shareef tell the story of a sister who took shahada recently, who went to attend an iftaar in the masjid with no hijab.. this was her first trip to the masjid.. and the sisters there were so harsh with her that she started crying, called her husband to come pick her up.. and vowed never to return to the masjid again. And I know personally of many situations in which a sister or brother was treated very harshly when they made that initial tentative step to become part of the community.. and were so hurt by it that they refuse to return. So.. none of us want to be responsible for driving people away from the masjid or the Muslim community. Rahma, encouragement and bringing people *in* is the way to go. w'Allahu a'lam. One thing I learned from organizing and stuff is that.. usually you can curb inappropriate behavior and stuff based on how well you organize the event and particularly the setup. For example, if you are worried about a lot of inter-mingling going on, set up the room/area in such a way to minimize that.. (ie brothers and sisters on opposite sides or in a way where they don't need to use the same facilities) Or make the program such that there isn't much time to go and do anything shady. About ppl not going to taraweeh.. all I can say is that, it is really encouraging when there is a group of your friends and people you know attending taraweeh. It really helps strengthen and support you and keep up the good habit. Maybe next time if you see a woman who is new to the masjid, or has not attended taraweeh, you can casually start talking about how amazing it is, and how much you benefit from it, and how cool the khatira's are.. etc etc, and then ask her to come, and then you guys can go out for ice cream afterwards :) I know this is a bit late.. and I'm kinda rambling.. sorry... may Allah accept our deeds this past ramadan. wasalaamu alaykum :-) |
| Re: iftars and eid common problems/dawah opportuni |
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| zomorrud |
| 12/21/02 at 09:27:17 |
| [color=blue]bismillah... assalamu alaikum, i think that sis amatuallah was not specifically talking about new muslims who come to the mosque without hijab - i think she was talking about muslim women in general who somehow choose to ignore dressing properly in the mosque. i agree with the suggestion to approach people with gentleness and sincerity. again, i know that sis amatullah is already aware of that. however, there should be more respect for the house of Allah and there should be rules around that. it is not healthy nor respectful for people to make light of that. my suggestion would be for the imam to keep reminding the congregation that the mosque welcomes everyone at anytime and out of courtesy, muslims should display due reverence and respect. he should outline certain behaviours that would not be conducive to the worship/learning atmosphere of the mosque. such behaviours are not limited to dressing immodestly (for both men and women) and not lowering the gaze, but also disturbing the cleanliness and tideness of the mosque and creating distractions for worshippers (such as screaming infants). any sensible person would respect and understand these things when they are approached calmly and respectfully. Even Queen Elizabeth II covered her hair (however loosely) and took off her shoes when she was visiting a historic mosque in pakistan (or india?) some years ago, so that she would not offend muslims. why would a born-muslim be belligerent enough to offend Allah in His house? but since there is no regular imam, the duty of reminding would have to come from somewhere else. if i were to guess, i would say that the mosque that sis amatuallah frequents suffers from lack of leadership. in any case, i don't see anything wrong with someone on the sisters side taking the initiative and reminding fellow sisters with hikmah and respect. it would make things easier to swallow for other sisters if they know how generous and sincere the advising sister is, so it might be more wise to cultivate an atmosphere of sisterhood, even if only among a few, prior to advising. also, why don't you keep a basket of spare clean hijabs or prayer clothes for the ones who come unprepared. as for encouraging people to stay for taraweeh after iftar, the imam must remind them not to miss out on the great opportunity. you should let it go if some people choose to come to the mosque to eat and not to pray. but try to be nice to them anyways next time you see them. and make dua for them. take care z.[/color] |
| 12/21/02 at 09:32:06 |
| zomorrud |
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