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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| showing gratitude |
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| zomorrud |
| 12/18/02 at 17:17:07 |
| assalamu alaikum, I have always struggled with the right approach to thank male colleagues (students, post-docs) to whom i go for help with my research. These people are not all in my lab; they are often from other sections of the department. Anyways, I go and ask them because I am usually stuck in my research, and they are very nice about giving out advice and explanations. I usually thank them verbally at the end of each "help" session. But, I feel that maybe a small gift/card should be offered. What I worry about is that I don't want to be perceived in a wrong manner - I don't like to extend interaction with males unnecessarily. I also don't want to be thought of as sucking up. Is it sufficient, do you think, to just offer sincere thanks whenever they help? take care z. |
| Re: showing gratitude |
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| Barr |
| 12/19/02 at 00:07:00 |
| Wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullah :-) [quote]Is it sufficient, do you think, to just offer sincere thanks whenever they help? [/quote] I guess so. I think it also depends on how you feel too... like how thankful U r, and how much he has helped you. Personally, if there r any projects, and a group of people are involved, I usually give an e-card or such for the whole group. And, if its just a single person, I sometimes drop a "thank you" e-mail, in addition to the verbal thanks that we usually say. As for sucking up..., well, it all depends on the intentions, and how big the "thank you" gift is :) ... hmmm.. knitting a sweater and baking his favourite special cake, may be a bit too much ;) ... well, where I come from. But I've known some people who would cook for some others as a kind gesture... but I think its done more of in a sisterly kinda way... its doesn't seem like sucking up. Guess it depends on what kind of relationship you have with the person too. Sorry for rambling... just my thoughts. Wassalam :-) |
| Re: showing gratitude |
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| WhatDFish |
| 12/19/02 at 03:21:54 |
| hey i wouldnt mind a cake or even a sweater(not that i need one here) . . :P |
| Re: showing gratitude |
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| M.F. |
| 12/19/02 at 06:18:50 |
| Bismillah, Assalamu alaikum, I think saying thank you sincerely is probably enough. Perhaps at the end of the year you could send them all cards thanking them for their help throughout the year? Because if you had to pick out a card every time you want to say thank you that would make a lot of work for you and a lot of cards for the people ;) |
| Re: showing gratitude |
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| Leslie |
| 12/20/02 at 02:31:58 |
| [slm] I agree with M.F., unless the gentlemen who helped you really went out of their way to do so. If you feel that their help was so valuable as to warrant a gift, get something small and include a thank-you card with it (this way, there can be no misunderstandings about the reason for the gift). If you feel uncomfortable presenting the gift to them yourself, you could wait for a time when you know that they won't be in their labs/offices, and leave it on their desk. The sentiment is still the same, but you can thus avoid any uneccessary interaction. I hope this helps. [wlm] |
| 12/20/02 at 02:33:23 |
| Leslie |
| Re: showing gratitude |
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| Asim |
| 12/20/02 at 10:38:08 |
| Assalaamu alaikum, Thank yous are enough, for the time being. In an academic environment, everyone is supposed to share ideas, so your colleagues are not really doing a big favor. Moreover, I suspect what you are really doing is bouncing off ideas. This technique has an amazing effect in that the ideas tend to gather additional mass while in transit from one person to the other. The ideas developed at the end of such conversations really do not belong anyone; they just materialize out of thin air :) I suggest a card, or lunch (for your research group members), or gift+card (if they went out of the way, as Leslie mentioned) *after* your defense or graduation. Also, you can consider acknowledging them in your dissertation, if you feel they helped in some way. And, good luck with your research! May Allah swt make is beneficial for you. Wasalaam. |
| 12/20/02 at 11:22:56 |
| Asim |
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