A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Breaking out of a relationship? |
|---|
| Anonymous |
| 12/23/02 at 15:24:08 |
| salaam ladies and whomever else ventures into this domain how would one go about dismantling or rather ending a relationship with a male person ..now consider that both of these persons are deeply in love with each other, respect each other etc..HOWEVER, one prays five x a day and wants a spouse that would also do that as well as actively participate in religious ftns, activities etc..whereas the other does not pray really and also does not know where they will be religiously in five years--they arel earning about islam but is not a person who sees themselves as religious but rather still trying to find themselves and their religion... so how would they go about ending this relationship? its easier said then done..b'c they find it hard to live without eachother.. |
| Re: Breaking out of a relationship? |
|---|
| dkb218 |
| 12/23/02 at 16:01:52 |
| Peace be with you all; Is the one who doesn't pray holding back the one who does? Is the one who prayers forcing the one who doesn't to pray? Has the one who is looking for themselves discovered that Islam is not for them? I don't understand the reason for the break up. |
| Re: Breaking out of a relationship? |
|---|
| Kathy |
| 12/23/02 at 23:20:58 |
| [slm] Relationship? What do you mean by this? :oEver take off a band aid? If you pull it off slowly it hurts alot more. The best thing to do is rip it off quickly. In other words just - stop. [i]I know, I understand what you are thinking...[/i] Please feel to write to me personally if it is too uncomfortable to post your emotions on this message board. :'(If it was a harram relationship, beg Allah swt for forgiveness and never do it again. |
| Re: Breaking out of a relationship? |
|---|
| Kathy |
| 12/26/02 at 10:18:09 |
| [slm] One of the members of this message board wrote me and thought I was being unrealistic about the advice I gave. The Madinat who wrote is a chaste person and was looking at the situation as if it was a halal relationship. Me, on the other hand, being a typical American once, saw it as a harram relationship with intimate mixings. Just to clear things up: my advice remains the same if it was an intimate relationship. It would be slightly different otherwise with a chaste relationship. |
| Re: Breaking out of a relationship? |
|---|
| Emerald |
| 12/27/02 at 22:13:14 |
| [slm] Now I don't mean to be rude but hearing stuff like this REALLY irritates me! Like ants crawling under my skin and it just makes me want to go up to the person in the relationship (especially the guy), smack them, and say "SNAP OUT OF IT!" Muslims should not be willingly getting into relationships with non- Muslims and/ Muslims without pure, honorable intentions and with a lawful goal in mind. I feel that what people fail to realize is that this kind of infatuation is just an illusion. It fades in time and after x amount of years they say to themselves, look who I'm with. Is this REALLY the kind of person I wanted to spend of the rest of my life with?! Is this going to be the father/mother of my children?! My advise is give them a lesson in reality. That they're compromising their religion- their akhira, for brief moments of so called love. It's really not worth it. TRUE love is helping your partner attain the greatest proof of love-- jannah and that's by protecting your own modesty, by giving them naseeha, by raising your children correctly so that they make duaa for you when you're 6 feet under. Outer beauty never lasts, and the charm turns into lashes when they figure out how all your buttons work and if someone tells me "oh but this person is not like that" it's a bunch of bull because we ALL do that when we find people's weaknesses. It's the person who fears Allah (swt) that will NEVER abuse you but will treat you with respect and make you believe it not because you deserve it but because Allah (swt) taught us akhlaaq. If this doesn't get to them, it's a pity. Make duaa. Emerald |
| Re: Breaking out of a relationship? |
|---|
| readagain |
| 12/27/02 at 22:38:18 |
| [slm] I think this person (who is thinking abt breaking it up) shld sit down and ask him/her self what they wanna do. If you "love" this person so much, and if you know them so well..you better know where this relationship is heading, how you will be in the future (realiatically) know all the pros and cons and then make a sane decision. you dont eat, sleep, drink love...if the everyday life becomes impossible with this "loving"person, you might not wanna spend the rest of your life with them...nobody else can help you with that, you are the one in that situation, YOU know taht person, YOU shld know if you want to break it up or not. and when you do decide to break it up....1) have a talk of what u want and waht you are not getting and make that an IF/Then possibility...If they agree to work with you..its cool give it time, u dont see results, break it up. If they dont agree to work with u, i think u might have to break it up. honesty and openness should be the base of every relation ship, especially with ppl you love, be it your parents, siblings, friends, spouse or whatever....and if you dont let them know what you are feeling, you will end up hurting them MORE when they later find a change in your behaviour due to them not being up to ur standards. |
| Re: Breaking out of a relationship? |
|---|
| Nafisa |
| 12/28/02 at 15:23:07 |
| [slm] [quote]Outer beauty never lasts, and the charm turns into lashes when they figure out how all your buttons work and if someone tells me "oh but this person is not like that" it's a bunch of bull because we ALL do that when we find people's weaknesses. [/quote] Hee hee! for some reason i like this quote. Emerald, you rock! |
| Re: Breaking out of a relationship? |
|---|
| Rameeza |
| 12/28/02 at 23:45:47 |
| [slm] I think that it might be a hard thing to break it off. Might hurt like hell. You might never find this kind of love again. You might find that there is not another who clicks as well with you. Might bring on the worst kind of blues, especially if you say that you love him/her. BUT, it seems like you have already got trouble in this life because of this relationship's affects on your Emaan. Do you want to risk the next life too?? The exact way to beak it off, I'm sure has to come from you. Because all relationships are different but is prolonging it helping? mm?? Will you be able to handle this loss for a greater gain from one whom you should love above and beyond all?? Sit down, pray for guidance, and ask your self these questions.. you might stumble on the answers that you need to put into action. Best of luck. May Allah guide you. |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |