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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

Njoy :-)
zanfaz
01/22/02 at 01:45:13
TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : "Hello boys, Remember !!! Nothing is impossible." One of the 20 Students: "Ok Sir, You please take out all the toothpastes and put back it into the tube again." -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand." -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor? CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables! -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* TEACHER: George can you count up to 5? George counts up to 5 slowly using his Fingers. TEACHER: Good, now can you count any higher? George climbs up on his chair and counts five again using his fingers. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"? JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it! -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O! -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George! -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WILLY: Me! -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? SYLVIA: Your name on this card(report card). -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake. SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? JOSE: Don't bite any. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you? JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands! -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime." -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father : No. Why do you ask that? Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then? -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again? Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute 5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks. "I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl,"'cause Mommy's still got hers." -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* A kid with a few packages in his arms asked a passerby, "Will you open the gate for me?" The passerby said, "Of course, sonny." The kid replied," Thanks. The gate was just painted and I didn't want to get my hands messy." -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Ed: What time is it when Dracula goes to the dentist? John: I don't know. Ed: Tooth hurty(2:30) -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Ed: My uncle and I went on a safari to Africa last year. John: Oh, yeah? How did it go? Ed: We spotted a leopard. John: Don't be silly. They're born that way! -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Student: Brotherly love. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday? Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog! -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything! Son: That's why I say she's no good! -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Pupil : A teacher. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Ed : How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed? John : You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's   performance repeated. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Man : How old is your father ? Boy : As old as me Man : How can that be ? Boy : He became a father only when I was born! -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the    field" Student : A cow and a bull are grazing in the field Teacher : How ? Student : Ladies first.

Re: Njoy :-)
veilsofbeauty
01/22/02 at 21:27:27
Oh these are horrible :P :) :) Wanna know what's even worse: How do peas talk to each other? They "mutter"!!  (if you're desi you'll get it)

Re: Njoy :-)
MuslimSis
01/23/02 at 08:13:26
as-salaam alaikum:) LOL-horrible but funny:) heres another 1; FATHER:   have u got a exam today? TEENAGER: Nah, just a test!!! take care w'salaam

Re: Njoy :-)
Ziggy
01/23/02 at 14:13:37
salaams. real cheesy.. Q. What are a dentist's 4 favourite letters of the alpahabet? A. I.C.D.K (gerrit? *I see de-cay* ) alright alright! I'll leave! ma'assalaam zakira :D
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