order in the court

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order in the court
bhaloo
01/22/02 at 08:37:29
slm

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are
things
 people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
 published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm
 while these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these
are excellent - Don't miss the last one.

 Q: What is your date of birth?
 A: July fifteenth.
 Q: What year?
 A: Every year.
 ------------------------------------------------------------------
 Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the accident?
 A: Gucci sweat-shirt and Reeboks.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------
 Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
 A: Yes.
 Q: And what were you doing at that time?
 ------------------------------------------------------------------
 Q: She had three children, right?
 A: Yes.
 Q: How many were boys?
 A: None.
 Q: Were there any girls?
 -------------------------------------------------------------------
 Q How was your first marriage terminated?
 A: By death.
 Q: By whose death was it terminated?
 -----------------------------------------------------------------
 Q: Can you describe the individual?
 A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
 Q: Was this a male, or a female?
 ------------------------------------------------------------------
 Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
 A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------
 Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
 A: Oral.
 ------------------------------------------------------------------
 Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
 A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
 Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
 A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
 autopsy on him.
 -----------------------------------------------------------------
 Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
 pulse?
 A: No.
 Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
 A: No.
 Q: Did you check for breathing?
 A: No.
 Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
 A: No.
 Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
 A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
 Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
 A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
 law somewhere.
 ------------------------------------------------------------------
 Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he
woke up that morning?
 A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
 Q: And why did that upset you?
 A: My name is Susan.
NS


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