Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Please Listen.. |
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| Anonymous |
| 01/22/02 at 16:57:57 |
| -In the Name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful- Friday Night at the Masjed I just want someone to explain to me. Why is it that I am so different from you? Is it because I am not Arab or Afghani, or maybe because my father isn't an engineer or hold a doctorate's degree? That's too bad...I'm just XXXXXX... My faith in Allah soars each day but my faith in this Ummah is slowly going away. We go to the masjed for help and what do we get? Just a look of distaste, like we are poor white trash and I sit in my room and the tears start to flow, as I remember Friday night...and you all just walked away, living in your only little world, and I sat in the masalah fighting back tears with all my might, thinking why am I here? I'm just an outsider looking in... It's sheer hell to have no one, do you know what that feels like? To have to sit and watch your Mother cry because she's doesn't know how to pay the rent, and all you can do is sit there helpless... No, you don't know how that feels because you have the engineer daddy, and princess mommy and your all just one happy family. But is it not the duty of a Muslim to want for his brother what he wants for himself? Forgive me, I forgot that my words can't be taken into account. I am just a revert after all... Your taught from an early age that 'look" You know what I'm talking about. I walk in and you look me up and down...and say she isn't wearing a jilbab or a shalwar, she doesn't have gold on and just look at her shoes...and that poor girl walks away thinking, "this is all I have." I am always that girl, the poor revert that you think doesn't know anything even though I can quote hadith with full tajweed and may have more emaan then you could ever know...But let me make one point, I will triumph because I'm still gonna make duaa for you, despite all you put me through.... |
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| Mystic |
| 01/23/02 at 12:25:46 |
| [slm] I am silenced by the depth of your words. You are speaking of a haunting truth within the Muslim community. I had a hard time when I immigrated into this country cuz all of a sudden everything I took for granted about the tranquility of being a Muslim, loving each other, etc was shattered cuz the masajids were so divided. I felt so alienated even though I was "born" Muslim...The racial and National divides were very marked and for a newcomer I didn't feel the warmth and love that I needed to grow and blossom within the community. I hated it. I even stayed away from the Masjid for a while cuz it would upset me soooo much to see people so caught up in their little worlds, not even bothering to smile, or even feign an interest in me (and those who did seemed sooo fake). After being used to the states and realizing that these divides exist everywhere, i had to refocus my lenses and my heart. I went to the Masjid and I extended myself to others. I noticed that if you initiate and keep inquiring and being your beautiful self, people open up too, and they will embrace you regardless of who you are and where you are from. Alhamdullillah I now am connected to some wonderful people in my community that I wouldn't have had the blessing of knowing had I been still in my shell. I am saying all this to say, you are not alone in those feelings and that sometimes stepping out of the realm of hurt, will open your soul toward a journey of healing, love, and peace. I realize we sometimes write poetry that's purely intellectual to make a point, so sorry if all the advice above doesn't apply to ya:):):) Maliha :-) [wlm] |
| Re: Please Listen.. |
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| *sofia* |
| 01/23/02 at 13:10:17 |
| Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah - I wish we would all take this to heart, and I remind myself first. I'm sure most of us have been on both sides of the fence at one point or another, whether knowingly or unknowingly. I've heard a lot of my friends who came into the fold of Islam talk about this phenomenan, and it's understandably a bitter bone of contention. We need to be mindful of others, who are either new to Islam or new to the masjid, and to make our intentions for anything (in particular, our acts of worship) to please Allah alone. I'm reminded of this hadith that I came across while surfing when I should be researching. Sorry if it doesn't all seem relevant, and I hope Allah joins our hearts as Muslims, and saves us from falling into the trap of "Iblis-ism". -------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.java-man.com/Pages/Khutab/khutba980904.html Those who rely on Allah and do not become obsessed with material things will have a higher station and a greater respect not only with Allah, but with the people of this world. It was said to the Prophet (sas): ..."Izhad fiy ad-dunyaa yuhibbuka Allahu, wazhad fimaa 'inda an-naasi yuhibbuka an-naasi." O, Messenger of Allah, guide me to an action which if I do it Allah will love me and the people will love me. He (sas) said: "Be zaahid toward the things of this life and Allah will love you and be zaahid toward what the people possess and the people will love you." Ibn Majah One of the early generations said: "The one who is zaahid in this life does not condemn this world nor does he praise it. He does not rejoice when it comes to him nor grieve when it leaves him. He does not look at it." |
| Re: Please Listen.. |
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| mujaahid |
| 01/23/02 at 13:19:01 |
| Assalaamu-alaikum Sister <I walk in and you look me up and down...and say she isn't wearing a jilbab or a shalwar, she doesn't have gold on and just look at her shoes> Why do you care if thats what such people say? If thats how they feel, if thats thier view, do you really care what such people think? <...and that poor girl walks away thinking, "this is all I have." I am always that girl, the poor revert that you think doesn't know anything even though I can quote hadith with full tajweed and may have more emaan then you could ever know..> Sister i dont know how often you come across these kinds of people, but myself, and many i know have the highest respect and admiration for converts/reverts. Those that look down upon you are usually those following a twisted cultural form of islaam, people who are threatened when they see someone better then them in terms of islaam, someone who was prepared to make the life changing, and hugely couragous decision to convert to islaam , and so to make themselves feel better, they try and put you down. Sadly i have seen all to often what you decribed with my own eyes, but usually its those muslims who are racists, tribal, and unable to undertsand the basics of islaam, and are therefore threatened when someone different, someone better comes along. Sister mix with the real muslims, those that follow true islaam, and not their parents version, and you will see a whole new world. Try and find young muslims, those that call to islaam, those that have grown up in open minded muslim communities, and you will see just how valued you really are, by those that really matter. Me personally, when i see a convert/revert, it brings a huge smile to my face to know these people have come back to the most beautiful religion in the world, the religion given to us by Allah (swt). Nothing beats the feeling of joy and happiness, and even pride i feel when i see with my own eyes people who have reverted to Islaam. Wasalaam |
| Re: Please Listen.. |
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| Marcie |
| 01/23/02 at 13:21:52 |
| As salamu alaykum, Yes, I do realize that we all at one point in time as Muslims feel alienated by our sisters. Yet at the same time I have been a Muslim for thirteen years now and many wonderful Muslims have helped me along the way in my growth as a Muslim. When I first came back to the States a sister made me feel welcome and helped me to find my place in the community al hamdu lillah. I do acknowledge that we don't always act as we should as Muslims, but I don't feel that it is always right to complain about born Muslims and their treatment of others, because I for one have been very blessed in the sisters that I have met al hamdu lillah. Sometimes the issues are cultural and what a person feels comfortable with. As an American I do put my foot in my mouth quite often. Al hamdu lillah my friends forgive me for my mistakes. I do agree with Mystic that you need to keep trying and breaking down the barriers. As salamu alaykum Marcie |
| Re: Please Listen.. |
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| amal |
| 01/23/02 at 15:04:00 |
| slm, It's a sad situation but all too common in our masajid. I wonder how we ended up being like that? Maliha, how long have you been in the states? I'm still going through what you described. How long did it take you to adjust? I was seriously thinking of moving to another more integrated community. But then i realized that people are like that everywhere and it's upto us to change the situation.Start from somewhere. I still haven't figured out what to do. Maybe one solution is to form a welcoming committee that will take care of introducing new members to the community and keep in touch with them. There can be forms at the masjids which new members can fill in and put in a mail box so that the committee can contact these people and introduce them into the community. One thing that complicates the issue is that some people are *very* shy by nature and thus don't have the social skills to approach other people in the masjid. And of course those in the masjid don't know this is a new person, or don't care, and might even interpret the person's silence as a sign of being uninterested. What are your ideas on this? |
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| mujaahid |
| 01/23/02 at 13:58:16 |
| Assalaamu-alaikum I think it is true that a lot of converts feel shy, or are just naturally shy, and i think having a welcoming comittee, as someone already mentioned, is a great idea! What they should do is introduce these reverts to a small group of easy going, welcoming muslims, possibly the local dawa group, who will make these people feel welcome, and gradulaly introduce them to the community. Another idea is thier should be active islaamic community projects, and the reverts should be encouraged to join in, hence they get to know a lot of the muslims that realy make an effort, and such muslims will usually be more welcoming, and freindlym and DEFINATELY will not look down upon you. The best group of muslims to mix with are the younger ones, or the older reverts. The older Cultural are suaully arrogant, stuck up, and suspicious of converts. Theirs a lot we can do, and alhumduliallah a lot of effort is being made, but more needs to be done, especially for those who have been pushed away by families because of thier conversion. |
| Re: Please Listen.. |
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| MuslimSis |
| 01/23/02 at 15:26:29 |
| as-salaamu alaikum, Sis Anon, ur post almost brought tear to my eyes!!! I am not a revert, and have only recently discovered how racist our bros and sis's at the mosques can be:( It sadens me when i see such ignorance! Sister, y dont u try and change the mosque u go to and insh'allah u'll find muslims which are not twisted into cultures' and wil wecumu with happiness:)!!! take care w'salaam |
| Re: Please Listen.. |
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| Mystic |
| 01/23/02 at 15:44:51 |
| [quote] It's a sad situation but all too common in our masajid. I wonder how we ended up being like that? [/quote] One of my theories on this, the situations in the Masajids are just a mere reflection of what's happening on a wider scale within the Ummah at large. My eyes were opened in the states cuz its here that you get exposed to so many different cultures and ideologies at once (vs. home where we tend to blend in with eachother)..and i guess a lot of my growth happened here too... [quote] Maliha, how long have you been in the states? I'm still going through what you described. How long did it take you to adjust? I was seriously thinking of moving to another more integrated community. But then i realized that people are like that everywhere and it's upto us to change the situation.Start from somewhere. [/quote] I have been in the states about six years....and honestly I haven't gotten adjusted to the stupidity of it all...At our masjid there is a core group of very active people (same faces who coordinate almost everything)..and this is the group that I associate with the most. Like Mujaahid said finding the *right* people is the key to the whole community. You are right Amal some people are naturally shy and that could be mistaken for being snobby. Others are simply too busy with their problems/life/ etc and they come to the masjid for connection to Allah and that's it. and the reasons are many... At our masjid we have an informal welcoming committee, and as soon as someone spots a newcomer we introduce her to eachother and try to get her involved. I think your idea is great Amal, it would lend structure to the process and ensure no one is left out...Start with a couple of people that share your ideas, and you'll be surprised at how much you can accomplish... anywayz, enough for now :):):) Maliha :-) |
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| Marcie |
| 01/23/02 at 16:33:03 |
| As salamu alaykum [quote] The best group of muslims to mix with are the younger ones, or the older reverts. The older Cultural are suaully arrogant, stuck up, and suspicious of converts. [/quote] You really should not generalize negatively about your brothers and sisters like this. I have met so many "older" muslims who were so excited about meeting a revert. I have even been invited into their homes, because I am a revert. As salamu alaykum |
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| veilsofbeauty |
| 01/23/02 at 16:49:52 |
| Salaams, I definetly agree with alot of the things said here. There is prejudice amongst us here inside our own mosques. THere are people (NOT everybody, just SOME people), who have a "I'm holier than thou" attitude b/c they've got a beard or were jilbaab. And then there's people (once again, only SOME people) who like to be known as the "rebels". Unfortunately, we have cliques, and we all know them. The modern group, the jaamati group, the convention people, the religious people, the immigrants/refugees, e.t.c. And then there's the core group who literally 'run' the mosque. It's horrible, and unless we all shelve our pride and arrogance this will continue. Rememmber it was Iblis' pride that got him our of Heaven. As for an actual practical solution, there's gotta be hard working Islamic...ummm...Workers! The welcoming committee is great, and... to be honest I don't know what else one can do... |
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| Marcie |
| 01/23/02 at 19:45:09 |
| As salamu alaykum sis, Can you tell that I can't get this topic out of my head? I do feel the pain that you are going through, but you should realize that it is not just an issue of born Muslim versus revert. Muslims in general tend to stick with their own nationality, even Arabs are not one big happy family. A sister, who moved down to Houston, told me that there are so many Indian Muslims that the mosques are divided according to where you are from in India and if you go to the wrong mosque they won't talk to you. Even what Aisha said is true. I really think that you need to find sisters who can cross these cultural boundaries and you need to be willing to do the same thing too. Don't expect the world from your sisters and forgive them for their mistakes. I always try to remember that while I am learning from others mistakes I wonder what they are learning from mine. Please email or im me. You can even call or I'll call you. I have my handy dandy telephone card from Sam's. Together insha'Allah we can think of ways for you to feel more comfortable in your umma. I As salamu alaykum Marcie |
| Re: Please Listen.. |
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| Mystic |
| 01/24/02 at 07:29:15 |
| [slm] On another note, if you haven't yet, please sign up on this board:):):) its awesome ;-D;-D;-D you will gain insight into many issues, meet some really great souls, and have fun too;-D;-D Mujaahid may even send you some luddoos, if you agree with him politically :):):) Maliha :-) [wlm] |
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| M.F. |
| 01/24/02 at 09:35:06 |
| Assalamu alaikum Wow. You've seen it. That look.... up and down and then away.... never looking into your eyes they disapprove of you you're different you don't belong... you think to yourself why did I come here in the first place? Oh yes to worship Allah to hear the khutba That's all that matters and you leave without anyone talking to you you try to smile at some people they don't know how to react You comfort yourself... I'm here to worship Allah He knows who I am He knows my heart He knows why I'm here He's all I need... |
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| MentallectCom |
| 01/24/02 at 18:37:07 |
| I remember when stuff like this used to irritate me. Alhamdulillah for indifference.:) |
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| amatullah |
| 01/24/02 at 21:42:53 |
| Bismillah and salam, I know that much classism exists in the world. And sometimes, you face people who are so called "privileged" and they will say infront of you dumb things. Not necessarly mean but just like oh i am nicer to the poor so that they are not conscious of it, as they are this and that. Or they will say all of a sudden in halaqa everyone has to put in a certain set amount for someone, which is something we all love to do, but it is better to ask for a secret bag and people put what they can, or at least privately or something. But wallahi sister i have never felt that my muslim brothers and sisters are doing it to be malicious. perhaps you feel as a revert more of this negativity to affect you. I will tell you honestly something i went through with a very hard time. I used to not know if it is right to approach someone who is new to the mosque or not. it was double edge sword. Once i had feedback that the person was just coming to check things out, another was distrustful, and you don't want to them to feel you are pushing the Islam on them. Then other times if you don't say anything you jear about people who don't say salam and chat and it hurts the new comer. It is a tough way to decide. Now i just say hello anyway and make little talk not about religion just to let them know they are welcome. It is good to smile and say hello even from someone who is the new to the mosque. I cannot help but feel lucky that alhemdulilah we are blessed to be Muslims, and we are given the knowledge from Allah to be able to look inwardly and be self-critical each an every moment of how we do in this life to judge it according to what Allah has shown us. Please sister keep making dua that Allah make things easy and unite with those who are evne better than you and to make "ulfa" between the hearts of the community member and ask Him to turn all the hardships you are going through into rewards for you. |
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