Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| jokes |
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| M.F. |
| 01/25/02 at 10:14:49 |
| A new Imam at the jumu'a stands up to give the khutba. After praising Allah sending prayers on the Prophet (S), he says: "Usseekum wa nafsee bitaqwa Allah" (I advise you and myself with Taqwa of Allah) He sits down then gives the second khutba: Allahumma Salli 'ala Muhammad etc. And he gives the Iqama. The next Friday, he gives the exact same khutba and this goes on for a few weeks. Then someone came up to him and asked him: How come you give the same khutba every time: Usseekum wa nafsee bitaqwa Allah and that's it?? The khatib answered: "Well, I want us to start with this step first, and then move on to other things" Here's another one: People were complaining about a khatib who gave really long khutbas. So the ministry of Islamic affairs sent a new one and warned him about why the other one had left. So he went and gave a really short khutba, and they were all happy. then he said: do you know the story of Yusuf (AS)? They all said: yes! He said, then you don't have to come next time :) Ok just one more: This is another Jumu'a imam. On Friday he stands up and he says: Do you know what I'm going to talk to you about? The congregation all say: No! He says: Then what's the point of me talking to you, when you don't know anything about it!! and he leaves. The next Friday he stands up and says: Do you know what I'm going to talk about? They all said: Yes! He says: Then I don't have to talk to you about it since you already know!! and he leaves. The following friday, he stands up and asks the same question. Half the people say yes, and half say no. He says: Then the people who know tell the people who don't know! And he leaves :) |
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