Women Only + Girls

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Women Only + Girls
Barraa
01/25/02 at 15:24:37
Salam Every1...
i have super frizzy curly full knotty long hair damaged split ended hair!!
what should i do?? i tried egg shampoo, olive oil, many conditioners and stylers, but my hair is stubburn! help, help, help! i guess this hair i have is what granted me with, but that doesnt mean i cant help it. i want to do some thing, i dyed my hair twice, now its red. but the dye i used didn't have lots of chemicals. please every female in this forum is allowed to reply.
please click the reply button and type what you are now thinking.
this is serious.
well that should be enough info about my hair for you to help me.
i'll be glad to hear you replies. salamualaikum females...and if men read this salamualaikum to the men too. :)

to the males
males:
you men probably don't have long hair, thats why i dont need your reply, but you know, if your a barber stylist whatever or know something that may help me you are free to answer.
thanx,
wasalam males...:)
Re: Women Only + Girls
Dawn
01/25/02 at 15:36:23
Barraa,
I don't have the frizzy curly full hair part, (actually just the opposite -- super fine, super straight) but I sure can relate to those split ends.  Regardless of all the remedies I have been told that help split ends, (and I tried just about every one I found) the only thing that worked was trimming off the split ends.  Otherwise, the ends just continued to split further up the hair, breaking off as they went.  So, it seemed like I always had split ends and my hair wasn't growing.  Once they are gone, then preventing them again is a different story, and what worked for my hair likely won't work for yours as our hair is so different in texture.  So, I will let others from the board fill you in there.
Re: Women Only + Girls
Sparrow
01/25/02 at 15:59:57
Hi Barra,

I too have long EXTREMELY curly hair.  I mean corkscrews. It was always on the bad side of frizzy until I discovered an amazing gel by Aveda, called Aveda Brilliant Retexturing Gel.  I's a bit steep at 15 bucks (for a good sized tube, though) but it works!!  They also have travel minis for 3 dollars a tube so you can test drive before you lay out 15 bucks. It smells pretty too.

Also, although I shower every day I only shampoo once a week, cause curly hair tends to be dry and washing strips the oils.

Hope it helps,

Sparrow
Re: Women Only + Girls
Caraj
01/25/02 at 16:34:15
A suggestion if I may? If I remember correctly you are young, a teen? I remember when my sons were teens they never drank water, just lots of pop (soda) Hair like other body organs and parts need internal hydration too, on top of a good shampoo and conditioner, make sure you drink lots of water.

There are herbs that promote healthy hair, Iif you'd like, I'll read up on it this week-end and let you know what I find out.
Re: Women Only + Girls
Kathy
01/25/02 at 20:36:05
slm

Stop me if I am wrong- but I think there is a Hadith about us not describing our hair in "public."

Re: Women Only + Girls
Barraa
01/25/02 at 23:27:16
kathy, i'm sorry to say but i've never heard of that. i didn't show my hair. and i dont think know one here has ever seen me. and i'm calling women only anywayz. i'm not surw about wat you said, anyway
thanx everyone, anymore. oh and i dont use gel too much it makes my hair really dry but i try out that aveda gel stuff
Re: Women Only + Girls
Hijabi4eva
01/26/02 at 07:51:29
salam
i havnt read ne1 elses replie, so excuse me if im repeatin somthing!

try hair oil, coconut hair oil is supposed to be good!
Try usin it 1ce a week b4 havin a shower, dat shoul help tattyness go, n it'll make it more healthy!

wa-salam
Re: Women Only + Girls
MuslimaKanadiyya
01/26/02 at 23:04:04
Assalamu alaikum,

Coconut oil works wonders for me. (not the scented kind) :)  I apply it at night before I go to bed, and then braid my hair.  Now, I leave the oil in for as long as I can stand it -- my hair absorbs the coconut oil very quickly, so by morning I can put on a hijab without worrying about staining the fabric.  I usually wash it out when I get up, though, because the oil does make my hair feel dirty.

I do this once about every two to three weeks, and it takes the frizz right out of my hair and makes it easier to brush.

wassalam
Re: Women Only + Girls
Madinat
01/27/02 at 02:51:31
barra, i sent you a message!
Re: Women Only + Girls
mujaahid
01/27/02 at 10:56:13
Assalaamu-alaikum

I think the best two things to do is 1) as Cara said, drink PLENTY of water, at least 8, 8pz glasses a day which is what the average person needs to ensure body is cleansed and in good working order, including strong healthy hair, and 2) cut the split ends of, quite a way back, and use baby oil in your hair.

Baby oil seems to make hair strong, dont know why. My little sister had split ends, and so she started using baby oil, and WALAA, problems solved within days!!

If you dont believe me, then try it out, ALL of you sisters, and see for yourself the results.

A tip though, dont put baby oil on dry hair, wet it slightyly, by rubbing a wet hand over your hair until slightly damp, then use a bi (not too much, oil around the ends of the hair, on about the last 6 inches.)

Also some things NOT to do.

1) DO NOT wash your hair more then twice a week, because washing hair, even with Shampoo, dries it out, and removes its natural oils,and protection (thats why hair looks funny the day you have washed it).

2) Do NOT comb it ten times a day. Once in the morning, maybe once in the evening, but why do women comb their hair so often, like every 5 minutes?

3) NEVER use Brylcreem, hairspray, ESPECIALLY hairspray, as it just totally WRECKS your hair, Mouse of any styling products. Just use baby oil, good quality one, or a simple hair oil from a local asian, indian shop. NOT cooking oil, hair oil, thier is a difference :)

Anyway hope that helps!

I know i'm not a girl, or girly, but i do know a bit about such stuff, i used to be obsessed with my hair when younger :)

Hope that helps

Wasalaam
Re: Women Only + Girls
Sparrow
01/27/02 at 11:11:24
Also, my mom uses and olive oil hair product that she gets in Saudi.  It's by a company called Dabur, and she swears by it. Don't know if it's available in this part of the world though.

Sparrow
Re: Women Only + Girls
kiwi25
01/27/02 at 15:28:16
salam,

for all the girls who said coconut oil, YOUR RIGHT:),

i put it all over my hair at night, and the next morning i shampoo and conditioner it away, and it helps soooo much,

of course dont do this everyday but at least once a week

wasalam
nouha:)
Re: Women Only + Girls
Barraa
01/27/02 at 20:41:36
i know kiwi25! it helps sooo much . i tried it with even olive oil. it helps. but the problem is when i wet it buns cause dandruff, braids stink up my hair, blow dryer dries it out. so what should do now?
Re: Women Only + Girls
MuslimSis
01/28/02 at 09:01:43
as-salaamu alikum,

Use DABAR AMLA:)-coz i use it;)-hehe

hay bro mujaahid, u seem to know it all, but i still wouldn't but baby oil in ma hair-lol, i use enough of that stuff!!!

but he's rite sisters, combin or brushing and washing ur hair to much damages it, so avoid pulluin ur comb outta ur bags every 2 secs plus it so annoyin wen ppl start brushing their hair in lessons:) once in the mornin once in the afternoon is MORE then enough man, so...

take care
w'salaam
Re: Women Only + Girls
mujaahid
01/28/02 at 09:35:30
Assalaamulaikum

I just had a passing thought, why dont you just shave your hair off, make it bold. If you wear the hijab, knowone will notice. If not bold, then short back and sides ;)
Re: Women Only + Girls
Barraa
01/28/02 at 13:19:36
excuse me mujaahid? i'm trying to grow my hair longer and healthier. :D
anywayz when i die people HAVE to put two braids in my hair or more. how are they going to do that??? and allah made a women to grow her hair and not look like a man.
Re: Women Only + Girls
mujaahid
01/28/02 at 15:19:03
Yeah but if you wear the Veil etc, knowone will notice your Terminator hairstyle ;) Go on, Admit it sisters, you ALL have a one time wanted to just shave of all the hair on your heads!!! I got that urge last year, and just grabbed the hair machine and without thinking, turned it on and put it through my hair (i knew if i thought about it, i would not have done it)! Then i looked in the mirrors and it looked SOOO stupid having a bald streak going through the front of my hair that i had no choice but to shave it ALL off! It looked MEAN and tough, but also a bit like a prison camp prisoner's hairstyle!!!

But my hair did grow back, finally!! And all the kiddies had a good laugh at me (my bold head to be precise...i hope) :)

Anyway sisters, bold heads are in fashion nowadays!
Re: Women Only + Girls
Barraa
01/28/02 at 16:10:22
listen up, i dont want to do that do you have anything more better in mind??? sorry if  i sound rude, excuse me.
but i still need help. not a shaving hair help, please :)
Re: Women Only + Girls
Ayla_A
01/28/02 at 16:37:02
[slm]

Baraa

I would actually take some of M's advice, though not the terminator style thing.

If your hair is damaged badly then no amount of oil/treatment is going to correct this problem.  I know this sucks but it is the truth.  Your best bet would be to get your hair cut shorter, to get rid of your split/dry hair.  I would find a very feminine short cut (of course not to short) and then let it start to grow out again after that, getting trims every 6 weeks at least until the hair is healthy

Then I would suggest using professional shampoo, rinse and a deep conditioner to use once a month.  Washing your hair once a week is also good too.  Try to let your hair air dry as well because blow drying is very hard on it.

If you want some more "professional advice" go to www.askjeeves.com and put in your question.  It leads you to many professional salons

[wlm]
Ayla_A

Re: Women Only + Girls
kiwi25
01/28/02 at 17:07:44
salam,

baraa -- i dont think anyone canbe more of help than a hairstylist herself,

go to a barber shop, hair salon, whatever, tell them your situation and im sure they can help you out,

maybe she can give you treatments for you hair,
if you were hijab, kindly tell them to get you a room someone else

ive done this before nad it works, if a man walks in you can sue;)

but anyway, u might not even have to show them your hair, beleive me theyll be more help then us im sure:)

wasalam
nouha:)
Re: Women Only + Girls
Hajreee
01/28/02 at 20:54:02
Salaams

don't wash your hair more than twice a week??? i'm sorry, but i can't do that, that's toooooooooo little!! doesn't you hair get all oily and nasty?!

and i heard cocoanut oil is really good and also..... i'm VERY surprised rehana hasn't posted this yet, i actually beat her! hehe...but she posted this thingy about honey and cinnamon powder and she said if you take a warm paste of olive oil, a tblspn of honey and tspn on cinnamon powder and leave on your hair for 15 mins and then wash it, it should work...but wait, that was for hair loss, you wanted to know about frizzies, correct?! hmmm, try the amla stuff, my sister has it and i heard it's good =) but i have frizzy problem as well, all these fly away hairs...sadly enough, i use gel...which doesn't even work that well either, just makes it all sticky...

and OH!! wait, if i remember correctly, you mashaAllah wear hijab, right? and ALOT of hijabi's don't really take care of their hair the way they should...you shouldn't just take a shower and then tie your hair back and then put on your hijab! there's lotsa mistakes in that..first, you shouldn't tie your hair back when it's wet, you start loosing hair at the top of your head and your hair line goes further back...second, you should let your hair BREATHE! let it out and let air come into it, give it some freshness and if you can do this in your backward without anyone seeing, let the sun go into your hair as well!

but i really don't think the shaving part is really a bad idea...my cousin did it after she got married and now her hair is amazing, mashaAllah! so just think about it, you might thank mujaahid afterwards, you just *might* ;-D

and ayla- i like how you went straight to the point and said the truth, really admired that :)

ayte, gotta jet...Wasalaams
Re: Women Only + Girls
Hajreee
01/28/02 at 20:49:56
and hey, how come mujaahid came in this thread? doesn't the title say only women and girls???

oooooooooooooh someone got busted!!!!

hahahahhahaha ;-D
Re: Women Only + Girls
Barraa
01/28/02 at 22:34:03
hah! hajree, im not like mad at him, hehe :)
anywayz, all i know how to do in my hair is ponytail, braid(s), bun, and spoiled stuff like that. i dont really take time to leave my hair breathe. anywayz, i would go to the barber but the stylists here are stubborn, and all the salons have naked women magging, men having showers, and other modeling and stylist stuff. they are very unobedient here in this city.
as i see, people laugh at my hijab. you know those caps under the hijab that some women wear to keep their hair back and not get knotted? how do i get those. even if you have a good sewing pattern for them online i'll be sure to make one.
but pleaz, forget that shaving thingy. my father HATES short hair on women. he'd be pretty angry
salam anywayz

gotta run....
Re: Women Only + Girls
Anik
01/28/02 at 22:56:10
aslaamu alaikum,

I thought Br. Mujahid was joking, but he has a good point:

cut short and starting over is good

no hairspray,

don't dye it...

i guess a relaxant WOULD ease the curls (I had a black friend whose hair was kinky and it went as straight as arrows right after and boy did it look different)

I had long hair once and i realized shapmooing too often would just make it dry.. so ease up with it, try putting coconut oil in it (Indian tehl!) and just learn to work with your hair naturally insha'Allah.  What do you think? asalaamu alaikum. abdullah,.
Re: Women Only + Girls
kiwi25
01/29/02 at 00:24:25
salam,

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO baraa -- DO NOT USE the relaxer, its just makes your hair worse!!! believe me i know -- i used it :(....

it only works for black people cause they got that kind of hair for it...

wasalam
nouha:)
Re: Women Only + Girls
Barraa
01/29/02 at 02:15:06
oh well i'm not black. i'm just yellowish whitish color on a brown.
but it really light.
and i wasn't thinking about it. my mother would never let me.
anywayz thanx before i would have asked
Re: Women Only + Girls
Marcie
01/29/02 at 19:34:52
As salamu alaykum,

I don't mean to be rude or change the subject, but if it says Women Only + Girls that should be respected.  Two brothers have actually posted, but how many have looked?  Now I know that if I wanted to post something for sisters only it would not be respacted.  What a shame.

As salamu alaykum
Marcie
Re: Women Only + Girls
MuslimSis
01/30/02 at 09:24:35
as-salaamu-alaikum,

Sr. Marcie, the fact that this is a public board, ppl will look into threads (thats not 4 them) cos they get curios:( Now that u've mentioned it, i agree with u! wat would u do if u wanted a sisters thread??? (now that u know ur request would b ignored)hmmm maybe we could sit here messaging the sisters privately;)

*please dont  take this offensively (the bros) i havnt wrote 2 humiliate any1*

Again i'm sorry if i hav offended any1 with my opinion!!!

take care,
w'salaam
Re: Women Only + Girls
Barraa
01/30/02 at 16:16:18
Yes marcie i understand. but i'm not going to get mad. i'm just going to ask politely for no man nor male to come in to here.
so please men, if you see this note tell why you came in.
Re: Women Only + Girls
Anik
01/31/02 at 00:46:40
As salamu alaykum,

[quote]
I don't mean to be rude or change the subject, but if it says Women Only + Girls that should be respected.  Two brothers have actually posted, but how many have looked?  Now I know that if I wanted to post something for sisters only it would not be respected.  What a shame.[/quote]

i was wondering though, she is the one who addressed males and asked them as well if they could help. aslaamu alaikum. abdullah,.
Re: Women Only + Girls
Barraa
01/31/02 at 10:05:44

[quote]As salamu alaykum,


i was wondering though, she is the one who addressed males and asked them as well if they could help. aslaamu alaikum. abdullah,.[/quote]


ok now, i'm not like mad or anything its just like i like to get advice from both sides, male and females advice.
i want to get back to this soon, its just that i'm a female and i'd like to hear from the sisters in this board more than the bro's, no offense.
salamualaikum
Re: Women Only + Girls
mujaahid
01/31/02 at 13:22:19
Why did we come? Because i read the thread, about hair, and i felt i could give some advice!
Re: Women Only + Girls
Anik
01/31/02 at 14:34:05
aslamau alaikum,


[quote]Why did we come? Because i read the thread, about hair, and i felt i could give some advice! [/quote]


ditto.  

We were asked for our input, but i guess the subject title was a contradiction.

I think the sister indicated she PREFFERED Female opinion and addressed women because of familiarity with long hair and experience, but didn't section this off and segregate it.  lol

hair issues a gender apartheid now?  after all, I had long hair once so i replied...

Sr.Marcie, its a shame the brother's opinions can't be inputed on a "girls" topic when they might have a thing to add, that's okay though, i guess you were probably only spekaing from the subject-line view.

Wanna hear from the sisters more? no prob. It happensa naturally anyways lol. asalamu alaikum. abdullah,.
Re: Women Only + Girls
Ruqqayah
01/31/02 at 16:51:01
slm all

aint it haram for women to shave their hair?!?!? As far as I know, women can only trim their hair to get rid of split ends...and that applies to those even WITH hijab on! I know a lot of people argue that yeh but no 'gher' male can see your hair so wots the diff, but this a sheikhs opinion on the net i read....InshaAllah ill get back to you with the link page.

wasalams

Re: Women Only + Girls
Barraa
01/31/02 at 22:17:17
Yes ruqqayah you r right :)
i also heard that in some authentic hadith.
but i dont know which one. anywayz, forget it already, he already posted right? now just leave that post and never mind.
any skin recipes?
Re: Women Only + Girls
Kathy
02/02/02 at 03:27:58
slm

This is the best eveidence i could find about not describing your hair in a public forum.

Question:


We have heard that the ‘awrah of a woman in front of other women is from the navel to the knees. Is this correct? Especially since in banquet halls we see women who come – may Allaah keep us safe and sound – wearing short or see-through clothes, or garments with cut-away designs which show her calves, or they wear light and filmy garments, or things that leave a part of the chest or back uncovered… So Muslim women come out and they look like dancers in the kaafir countries or improperly-dressed actresses on the screen. If we tell them not to do that, they say, There is nothing wrong with that; women’s ‘awrah is from the navel to the knee. Modesty has disappeared and women are becoming argumentative and imitating the kuffaar, and the problem has reached overwhelming proportions. Please advise us, may Allaah reward you.

Answer:

 Praise be to Allaah.

All of a woman is ‘awrah in front of non-mahram men, and it is not permissible for her to appear before men even if she is covered, if there is there is the fear of fitnah (temptation) because of looking at her and seeing how tall she is and how she walks. Concerning what was said about a woman’s ‘awrah in front of other women being from the navel to the knee, this applies only when she is in her house among her sisters and the women of her household. The basic principle is still that she should cover all of her body lest she be taken as an example and this evil practice become widespread among women. [color=red]Similarly, she must also cover her charms in front of her mahrams and strange women lest some of her mahrams be tempted by her or lest some of the women describe her to others. [/color]It was reported in the hadeeth that the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman should describe another woman to her husband so that it is as if he can see her.” What this means is that if her charms, such as her chest, her shoulders, her stomach, her back, her arms, her neck and her calves, become visible, whoever sees that will inevitably have an impression of her, and usually women talk about what they have seen to their families, male and female alike. So a woman may mention that in front of non-mahram men [i.e., men who are not mahrams of the woman being described] in a manner that may provoke them to pursue her, or which may cause bad people to form an attachment to her. For this reason, women have to cover their charms – such as their chests, backs, arms, calves, etc., - even in front of mahrams and other women. This covering becomes even more essential in parties, leisure facilities, hospitals and schools, even if there are only women present, because some non-mahram men and adolescent boys may see them or take pictures of them naked which will be a cause of temptation to those who see them. A stern warning has been issued to those who make a wanton display of themselves and wear see-through or tight clothing, when the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“There are two kinds of the people of Hell … women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait with something on their heads looking like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. They will not enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance.” What this means is that they are wearing see-through or tight clothes which show the size of their frame, or there are openings cut in the fabric which show their chests, breasts and other charms. This is widespread in parties and in general gatherings. And Allaah knows best.

Question:


I have heard that a kaffir woman id forbidden to look at a muslim woman withpu her hijab. Is this applicable to my mother-inlaw who is an unbeliever

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

The scholars differed concerning the ruling on whether Muslim women can take off their hijaab in front of non-Muslim women, because they differed in their interpretation of the aayah in Soorat al-Noor (interpretation of the meaning):

“… and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands… or their women…” [al-Noor 24:31].

There are three views concerning the Tafseer of this phrase:

That it means Muslim women;

That it means all women, Muslim and non-Muslim;

That it means Muslim women preferably but this is not binding.

The more correct view – and Allaah knows best – is that it is permissible for a Muslim woman to appear (without hijaab) in front of a kaafir woman, [color=red]unless she fears that the woman may describe her to her husband or to any other stranger (non-mahram man).[/color] In that case she has to keep her hijaab on in front of that woman. There is no difference between a kaafir woman and a corrupt Muslim woman in this case.

Among the evidence (daleel) that it is permissible to take off hijaab in front of a kaafir woman is the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) in which she mentions that a Jewish woman came in to see her and said, “May Allaah protect you from the torment of the grave…” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1007; Muslim, 584).

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“It is not obligatory to wear hijaab in front of them – non-Muslim women – because they are like all other women according to the more correct of the two scholarly views.”

(Fataawaa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/582).

What the Muslim woman can uncover in front of a kaafir woman is the same as what she can uncover in front of her mahrams, i.e., the places of adornment or the places of wudoo’.

Shaykh Muhammad Saalih ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: “In front of her mahrams she can uncover her face, head, neck, hands, forearms, feet and calves, and she should cover everything else.”

(Fataawaa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 1/417).

And Allaah knows best.





NS
Re: Women Only + Girls
Barraa
02/02/02 at 15:04:21
yes, i guess that was all right...
but could i please get some help???
not 2 be rude
Re: Women Only + Girls
Marcie
02/02/02 at 16:58:55
As salamu alaykum Barraa,

What do you mean by skin recipes?  You can try Dove soap.  Also Neutrogena has good products.  Their facial lotion is also very good.

As salamu alaykum
Marcie
Re: Women Only + Girls
SaadZ
02/02/02 at 17:29:32
as salaam u alaikum,

first thing, i have pakistani hair and it always got extra attention cuz im th only girl in the family. my grandmother used to put olive oil on it every day and put braids in my hair. so alhamudilillah i have long silky hair. i being the teen i am dyed it 8 times. causin ruff hair with split ends. the splits went away when my mom cut off 6 inches which devestated me. cuz i have always had long hair. but it grows back inshaAllah. ok... any kind of moisture for curly hair is good. for damaged hair there is this product called HAIR CHOLESTEROL it works wonders, is cheap and all u have to do is follow the directions. i shampoo my hair once a week and let it air dry before i put it in a bun and slap the hijab on to run to school. and to sisters who dont wear hijab. i went to a salon last year in 11th grade,  ive been wearing hijab since 8th grade. the stylists complemented me on my hair, and all the benefits of wearing hijab. they said that it protected me from sun damage, wind damage, rain, humidity and the works and were in awe at how "perfect" my hair is.
ok as a wet hair conditioner, or a leave in...BABY OIL IS PERFECT or LUSTERS PINK HAIR LOTION. they both smell good to me.
i hope this helps..o yea AMLA SMELLS TERRIBLE WHEN U GET IT FROM DESI STORES.
saadia
Re: Women Only + Girls
Barraa
02/06/02 at 13:04:03
Salam sister,
YOU DYED YOUR HAIR 8 TIMES???
friends, oooo, mashallah, their hair is silky-silk better than american hair and canadian!
well, i meant skin recipes like, in arabic hilba, we put it on our faces and leave it for sometime, then wash it out. pimples and blackheads get  busted right away!
but i dont use it....and apples, softens your face better....and yogurt and honey do a GREAt job yes tghey sure do ;)
anywayz salam now! :)


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