Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| trying to show the other side of islam |
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| Madinat |
| 01/26/02 at 01:03:43 |
| [slm] recently on another board i frequent, there was talk of religion. being the trouble maker that i am i asked the people there what if their understanding of islam came from the media or if they actually sought out the true meaning of islam. i was hoping to dispell any misconceptions people might have had from watching dateline. i always encourage questions rather than have people stay ignorant. anyway, most of the responses were positive inquiries, until this one woman posted. she wrote this: [QUOTE]Originally posted by b--------curls: [QB]I don't want to be rude but I just broke up with a Muslim from Eastern Europe and have had Muslim friends from the Middle East and Pakistan. My experience was good to bad. Islam is a peaceful religion I do agree but do most Muslims practice their religion peacefully, that is yet to be determined. I have found the women to be more religious followers and the men want the women to be very religious but they do what they want. A life with a Muslim is exactly what the media portrays it to be but not as bad depending where you are. My man never abused me but he expected me to be "good" all the time. Once I tried the head wrap and he was so excited and wanted me so badly. You must wash every time you go to the bathroom and so do the men but if you are not use to this it gets frustrating. He expected me to serve him. If I got angry I was told this was wrong and his friends told me I was wrong. I totally became reclusive. I did not want to go out anymore and stopped dressing sexy because it was for shame. I moved back east to be with my mum and now I am coming out of my shell. The one good thing I got out of it is I do not drink anymore (use to drink socially). My one friend Iran said we should not judge Islam and the actions of the Middle East is because they do not know better. She said when she visited she was so afraid because you cannot wear makeup or nail polish. She went to her homeland in 2000. She said she watched as women with makeup was caught and rounded up in a truck and driven away. My boyfriend told me how kind he was to me because most men hit their wives or girlfriends for talking back in his country and I asked other Muslims from his country and they said it is true. The media portrays Muslims as poor and most are very rich, especially in Saudi Arabia. And in fact, the sentiment about America is not good in any Muslim country right now. If they find out you are American you could be hurt. I have other stories but do not wish to post them because I do not want to start a debate or put down any religion but Islam is a peaceful religion but a lot of the people who claim they are Muslims are not. All I have to say is that you have to interact with more Muslims and go to these countries and see. Women truly have it the worse and some do not even see it that way because they are so use to it and not exposed to the rest of the world. But there are some real good Muslims out there and that should never be forgotten. Sorry so long but had to post this. I just wish to be honest because I feel so many people are not and I am not saying this because I hate my ex because although what I went through with him I still love him but I am not blind to the damage that was done to my self-esteem.[/QB][/QUOTE] i had no problems handling responses until now. this woman seems to have a personal vendetta against a religion because she wasn't strong enough to find out for herself about most of what she was spoon-fed by her boyfriend. i don't know why she posted about washing after using the restroom because i don't see why anyone would have a problem about being clean. i have a book with excerpts from the qur'an that i thought would be helpful, but then i felt that put in a literal way, this woman might interpret them to mean that. in short, she needs to study up some more instead of taking everything at face value. the other problem i had in responding is that some of what she says is true. especially about the beating.....i've heard some of that stuff before. i just don't think she could have known what she was talking about when she said she wasn't free to dress sexy. she wasn't married to the man so what was her obligation to change to his religion? any suggestions? [wlm] |
| Re: trying to show the other side of islam |
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| kareema |
| 01/26/02 at 02:53:15 |
| Well, you could start with how extramarital affairs aren't allowed in Islam, and how this indicates her boyfriend wasn't a shining pillar of Islam. Unless she means taking a full bath every time she goes to the bathroom, she should welcome not only the feeling of cleanliness, but also the health advantages....If she stepped barefoot in doggy doo, would she only wipe it off, or wash it? Umm, presumably he urged her not to go out, or was this due to her sexy dressing? Either way, he has no right to tell her anything at all as the relationship is not recognized Islamically. She mentioned friends, but do they practice any better than he did? I think the abuse rates for most of those Arab countries was about 30%, the US was 20% and India was like 50%, give or take some. You should look up the actual percentages, they are actually not much more than US rates, last time I checked(couple years ago). Same with the rich Muslims(looking it up) Even Saudi is far poorer on average than the developed nations. How good a barometer of Christianity is America? Sadly, some Muslims states seem to practice True Islam about the same amount.She herself recognizes that there are good and bad Muslims, but doesn't connect that to behaviour in those countries. Facts alone should help, but also construct a pos. pic of Muslim women, their rights, point her to sites like ...well like this one!! Seems the dressing sexy was more due to her boyfriend's jealousy than any religious attempts... |
| Re: trying to show the other side of islam |
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| se7en |
| 01/28/02 at 01:03:17 |
as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatAllah, Well, to be honest with you, it doesn't sound like this chica has a problem with Islam. It sounds like she has a problem with *Muslims*. I don't really think she has a personal vendetta against the religion. I think she just has a distaste for the practitioners of it, after she's gotten to know one so intimately and closely. And that's not really something I can blame her for. Shes says quite clearly that she thinks Islam is good, but that Muslims do not abide by it. Aside from that, it seems that the things she had trouble with are things a lot of converts have trouble with - just getting accustomed to different rituals and practices when it comes to day to day things. Changing the way you dress, your personal hygeine, etc are really difficult things to do. Personally I would first distinguish between the faith itself and its followers. (talk about how muslims make mistakes, do bad stuff, and that that doesn't detract from the faith itself and its teachings, etc) Then, I'd just mention that not all Muslims are like her ex-boyfriend (alhamdulillah), and describe how a lot of what he taught her was incorrect. wasalaamu alaykum :) |
| Re: trying to show the other side of islam |
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| Madinat |
| 01/27/02 at 02:47:59 |
| [slm] thank you for your responses. i said something along the lines of her not owing ANYTHING to him b/c she wasn't married to him among other things. another woman on the board pointed out that women are battered in every country, that has nothing to do with religion. it's just frustrating sometimes when people have their minds made up. but what more can you do? [wlm] |
| Re: trying to show the other side of islam |
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| Caraj |
| 01/27/02 at 13:14:22 |
| I know you have heard me say this in oher posts before, but may I remind people, especially those visiting this site for the first time. In the US, most all cities large and small have abused womens shelters. Most are always full. It is ashame this woman had this experience. But it is not at all limited to Muslims as here in the US our womens shelters are usually full to over flowing. I'm not Muslim but I get so angry at how the media reports and seems to single out Muslims as the poster children for wife abuse. |
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