Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Depressed |
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| Anonymous |
| 01/30/02 at 19:31:46 |
| Salam, I feel as though something is wrong with me. I get emotional lows far too often. Often cry at night. My whole world seems hinged on one person and whether they are have time for me that day or not. I shouldnt be feeling like this, but i cant break out of the cycle. My friends and family are all around me, but i dont let any of them get close. Just say im fine all of the time and dont let anybody into the way i really feel. For the people (esp women) that are married: do you feel as thought you're entire life revolves around your partner? Does it stifle them in any way? Wasalam |
| Re: Depressed |
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| siddiqui |
| 01/31/02 at 22:44:33 |
| ASSALAM ALIKUM, I understand how you feel, expectations love and extreme involvement with a particular person wants us to be with them all of the time wants us to get their attention all the time and wants us to be appreciated all the time. When that person doesn’t reciprocate TO OUR expectations we feel left out depressed and crave for the attention, love and APPROVAL. One should realize that it is not quite possible for our loved ones to OUTWARDLY EXPRESS the same amount of love affection and attention all the time even though its there deep down in their hearts. Trials tribulations of life dose not let one to be in the same constant frame of mind. So even though the person loves you a lot there are times when he/she cannot express it. We need to understand this fundamental point and learn to adjust to it by diverting our attention to other things like Allah swt his creation, prayers, our duties as parents, bro, sis, children good neighbors and members of the society. It’s a time to develop our selves our personality and do things we used to enjoy when we were unattached or just chill out and relax. Its also a time to build bridges with other members of our family and friends, talk to them about how we feel, sharing our burden with our loved ones for that lightens it. The last and the most important thing for us is to pray to Allah swt for he is really the only one that can provide solace. Hope this helps if you ever feel like talking about it more please feel to message me or any of our wonderful brothers and sisters in this forum wassalam |
| Re: Depressed |
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| M.F. |
| 02/02/02 at 04:43:49 |
| Assalamu alaikum, yes, I felt that way when we first got married, especially when I didn't have a job :( it was depressing. I still feel like my husband really should give me more time but when I balance things out, I feel grateful that he makes the effort that he does and that he's wonderful in most other aspects al hamdu lillah. I don't know if that stifled him or not, I'm sure it did the first month or two, but he was very good about it. |
| Re: Depressed |
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| Marcie |
| 02/02/02 at 07:49:23 |
| As salamu alaykum Sister, I think that if we are dependant on a person too much we actually stifle ourselves, because we can't get past a certain point. Mohammed was right that we can't place our expectations on others. I once heard a wonderful halaqa (masha'Allah) by the imam about how we place our expectations on others and are then disappointed and critical of them. If you are expecting too much then maybe you are also pushing the other person away. (People can be stubborn you know.) The best thing for you to do is to find activities that help to fulfill your needs so that you don't expect everything from one other person. Why don't you start going to sisters' halaqas or have the sisters over for breakfast. Whenever I go out and spend time with the sisters I always come back home real bubbly and chatty. Have you ever read any books that discuss how men and women are different? Maybe you are missing all of the signs because you expect him to be just like you and his idea of showing love is filling up your gastank for you. Maybe I totally misread your email, but insha'Allah this will help you. As salamu alaykum Marcie |
| Re: Depressed |
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| isra |
| 02/04/02 at 15:50:27 |
| [quote]Salam, I feel as though something is wrong with me. I get emotional lows far too often. Often cry at night. My whole world seems hinged on one person and whether they are have time for me that day or not. I shouldnt be feeling like this, but i cant break out of the cycle. My friends and family are all around me, but i dont let any of them get close. Just say im fine all of the time and dont let anybody into the way i really feel. For the people (esp women) that are married: do you feel as thought you're entire life revolves around your partner? Does it stifle them in any way? Wasalam [/quote] As Salamu Alaikum. Its diffucult, I know, there must be a reason why this all, find it and talk with your family or to one you trust him/her. My Allah swt helps you and make better your situation insha Allah and give sabr (patience) to you and your family.Your brother....Wassalam |
| Re: Depressed |
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| Dawn |
| 02/05/02 at 06:50:31 |
| Anonymous, how long has this been going on? Have you been feeling like this for a few days? weeks? months? years? Sometimes depression is not something which is simply a matter of us changing perspective. I watched my mother go through nearly two years of conditions nearly identical to what you describe. Then, things slowly got worse and worse. When my father couldn't make it home on time in the evening, she would spend the next day crying. Then one morning she couldn't even get out of bed. She spent a couple of days crying in bed, got up for a day, then was back in bed. My father, sisters, and I finally managed to get her to see a doctor. All this time she had been thinking that if she could just think positively, or have more discipline, etc., she would get better. The doctor told her that what she had, called clinical depression, was actually a chemical imbalance in her brain. She was able to start taking medicine which within a couple of weeks had turned her world right side up again. It took a long time to get totally back to "normal", but without the medicine, she would never have gotten anywhere. Many people suffer unnecessarily from depression, thinking it is their own fault, when indeed it is a disease, which has a cure. This is not to say that everyone who feels depressed has a disease, hence my questions at the beginning. But if you have been feeling like this for a while now, and the symptoms do not seem to be going away or even seem to be getting slowly worse, please see a doctor. There may be more to it than simply "feeling sad". I do hope that the advice I have given is not against Islam. I am not Muslim, but I am currently reading the Qur'an and learning about Islam. I just do not want someone to unnecessarily go through what my mother (and father!) went through. It is a terrible battle to have to fight. Sincerely, Dawn |
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