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Confused, scared, alone
Anonymous
02/04/02 at 22:04:41
salam alaikum this is very hard to write ... so please go easy on me in your replies ... i began studying Islam when i was 14, converted when i was 17, had been practising until a few months ago ... i dont know what happened to me ... i had a very bad experience with a brother who abused me severely ... i lost a lot of my faith and, i am so ashamed to say, have not prayed in a long time ... im not even sure i could pray correctly anymore ... i feel that i am completely doomed and i just dont know what to do ... there is no mosque near me, no other muslims that i know ... please ... help me

Re: Confused, scared, alone
Sadiq
02/04/02 at 23:04:11
Assalaamu Alaikum, I will keep this short and concise.  I too have gone through stages in my life where my faith decreased close to the point of disbelief.  One thing that helped me is when I realized that this is not our real life.  This is simply an "imann testing ground",to see if we are worthy of Jannah.  Allah (swt) has put us here to experience hardships and good times.  To see if we are willing to submit to Allah, no matter what situations we might go through.  I also realized that Satan is the one who wanted me to lose faith, Satan is the one who wanted me to give up, and join him in the hell fire.  Satan wants you to feel sorry for your self and feel regret and sad.  Because Satan knows that worshipping Allah (swt)makes you feel good, Satan knows that we need to worship Allah (swt), so he wants to take that away from us by any means neccesary.  So the best advice is to read the Quran, visit islamic web sites and learn about Islam, and most importantly start praying again.  Join this site and ask the brothers and sisters questions so we can help you to learn.  Don't give Islam up.  I hope this made sense, because sometimes I can be unclear.  Please correct me if I made mistakes.

Re: Confused, scared, alone
BroHanif
02/05/02 at 13:07:52
Aww, Well truly sorry to hear that a bro abused you. May Allah give him hidayat. We all have our ups and downs and sometimes in life we get a knock that sets us back a bit or causes us to ask questions whithin ourselves. In fact sometimes we think we are going ok then all of a sudden just as a gush of wind, something happens in our life and everything changes. Only then we realise how nelgectful we were to Allah when we had the good times. In these times we have to turn our attention, as always to Allah. Only Allah can help us out of our situations nobody else. Recently, I spoke to somebody who was very ill and that person can't even do some of the stuff that I take for granted and you know what the bad part is, that person is not even a muslim. I feel so guilty when comparing myself to this person, I feel that I have betrayed Allah, when Allah has given me so much. I thought man, heres this person and heres me, I, truly an ungrateful slave commiting sins night and day. How will I answer Allah for the wastage of time and life I don't know, yet, I always try and make dua and taubah for Allah to forgive me, because there is no one else to turn to. So Sister don't think yourself as doomed, insha-allah make a change today, be grateful for at least pondering for the situation you are in. There are some people who don't even want to check their lives, they just wanna carry on living as they are, you've made a difference, because you want to make a postive change by posting your situation here and asking for advice. Start by establishing the regular prays and make dua to Allah that he makes all of us strong and grateful. Keep the rememberence of Allah on your tongue and do good deeds and try and stay away from sins. If you feel your lonely perhaps you can do a number of actions, find a muslim community, keep in touch with old friends or perhaps for the short term you can join here and the sisters surely, and some brothers might be able to help you. Remember me in your duas. Salaams Hanif
NS

Re: Confused, scared, alone
haleema
02/05/02 at 14:21:40
salam alaykum this is a reply from my friend yasmin salaam alaikum,  How are you sis.  I cant imaginge how ur feeling but time is a great heeler. Well I know everyone is telling you to pray straight away, but seriously i think you need to increase your iman , you can do this by reading the Quran and i think u should try and be around sisters this should help u and start reading simple books on islam and read books which will help u ie reptance books. Its true that u should start praying but everthing takes time and theres no point in doing the action alone without the love and imaan once you have these u will want too pray anyway. What has happend to u should be looked at as a test, A test too see how u would come out and too see who u would turn too.  Allah or the Devils deception.  With every sin there repentance as long as your sincerely sorry then inshallah Allah will forgive u and u should always have hope Allah is the most mercifull. I hope this has hepled you sis and inshallah what has happened to you will make u a stronger person it might not feel like that now but with every hardship there is an ease my no is 07979603875 if you need to talk  wa alikum el salaam

Re: Confused, scared, alone
haleema
02/05/02 at 14:24:43
p.s im from england, so u can either dial 0044 or email me at yazminlewis@hotmail.com

Re: Confused, scared, alone
isra
02/05/02 at 16:52:07
[quote]salam alaikum this is very hard to write ... so please go easy on me in your replies ... i began studying Islam when i was 14, converted when i was 17, had been practising until a few months ago ... i dont know what happened to me ... i had a very bad experience with a brother who abused me severely ... i lost a lot of my faith and, i am so ashamed to say, have not prayed in a long time ... im not even sure i could pray correctly anymore ... i feel that i am completely doomed and i just dont know what to do ... there is no mosque near me, no other muslims that i know ... please ... help me [/quote] As Salamu Alaikum..I'm same situation too.My parents are muslim so I'm muslim too alhamdulillah. I have beginn to practicing as I was 22 year old. Now 4 years before I had a very bad experience with some muslims, whatever I love them for sake of Allah swt, there was misunderstanding, inshaAllah anyday will this misunderstanding clear. My Faith was also low, (I dont give up to pray), I could lose my emaan because I thought suicide in my brain, alhamdulillah Allah swt has mercy on me and help me not to do that. I lose my life, getting mixed up. Now its diffucult for me. Becaus I try to find me again. But nothing will be like before. I know how is you feel now. I think some brothers and sisters give (or has given) you advice. InshaAllah you will be better and I too. May try to go clinic may that helps. Have contact with muslims of this board they will help you. You can write but I cant write my situation (story) because I know no one wants help me...Wassalamu Alaikum

Re: Confused, scared, alone
bhaloo
02/07/02 at 00:05:44
slm If I understand correctly, you invovled yourself in a haraam relationship with this brother? Remember, in the Quran (interpretation of meaning): “… whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself…” [al-Nisa’ 4:79] and also: “And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much” [al-Shura 42:30] What things have happened are a mistake of which you are going to bear the bitter consequences, but you have to be sincere towards Allaah and strive to repent and turn back to Him. “Verily, he who fears Allaah with obedience to Him, and is patient, then surely, Allaah makes not the reward of the muhsinoon (good-doers) to be lost.” [Surah Yusuf 12:90 – interpretation of the meaning]. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The punishment for sin is lifted from a person by means of ten things: 1 – Repentance; this is agreed upon among the Muslims. Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings): “Say: ‘O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful’” [al-Zumar 39:53] “Know they not that Allaah accepts repentance from His slaves and takes the Sadaqaat (alms, charity), and that Allaah Alone is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful?” [al-Tawbah 9:104] “And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves, and forgives sins”[al-Shoora 42:25] 2 – Praying for forgiveness. It was narrated in al-Saheehayn that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a person commits a sin, then says, ‘O Lord, I have committed a sin so forgive me,’ He says, ‘My slave knows that he has a Lord Who may forgive sins or punish for it; I have forgiven My slave…’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6953; Muslim, 4953) In Saheeh Muslim it is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If you did not commit sin, Allaah would do away with you and bring people who would commit sins then ask Him to forgive them, so He would forgive them.” (al-Tawbah, 4936) 3 – Doing good deeds which wipe out sins. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And perform As‑Salaah (Iqaamat‑as‑ Salaah), at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night [i.e. the five compulsory Salaah (prayers)]. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e. small sins)”[Hood 11:114] And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The five daily prayers and Jumu’ah (Friday prayers) and Ramadaan take away the bad deeds between one and the next, if you avoid major sins.” (Narrated by Muslim, 344). And he said: “Whoever fasts Ramadaan out of faith and the hope of reward, his previous sins will be forgiven.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 37; Muslim, 1268). And he said: “Whoever spends the night of Laylat al-Qadr in prayer out of faith and the hope of reward, his previous sins will be forgiven.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1768). And he said: “Whoever performs Pilgrimage to this House, and does not behave in an obscene or immoral manner, he will go back free of sin like the day his mother gave birth to him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1690). And he said: “The expiation for the fitnah caused to a man by his family, wealth and children is prayer, fasting, enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 494, Muslim, 5150). And he said: “Whoever frees a believing slave, for each of (the slave’s) limbs Allaah will free one of his limbs from the Fire…” (Narrated by Muslim, 2777). These and similar ahaadeeth are narrated in the books of Saheeh. And he said: “Charity extinguishes sin as water extinguishes fire, but hasad (malicious envy) consumes good deeds as fire consumes wood.” 4 – The du’aa’ of the believers for the believer, such as when they pray the funeral prayer for him. It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah and Anas ibn Maalik that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no Muslim who dies, and a group of Muslims numbering one hundred pray for him, all of them interceding for him, but their intercession for him will be accepted.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1576). It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: ‘There is no Muslim man who dies, and forty men pray the funeral prayer for him, not associating anything with Allaah, but Allaah will accept their intercession for him.’” (Narrated by Muslim, 1577). This refers to praying for him after he has died. 5 – Good deads which can be done for the deceased, such as giving in charity (on his behalf), etc. This will benefit him, according to the clear, saheeh texts of the Sunnah and the consensus of the Imams. The same applies to freeing slaves and Hajj (on his behalf), indeed it was proven in al-Saheehayn that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever dies owing any (obligatory) fasts, his heir should fast them on his behalf.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5210; Muslim, 4670). 6 – The intercession of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and others on the Day of Resurrection for those who have committed sins. This is narrated in the mutawaatir ahaadeeth about intercession, such as the hadeeth in which he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “My intercession will be for those among my ummah who have committed major sins.” (Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 3965). And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I was given the choice between admitting half of my ummah to Paradise and intercession, and I chose intercession.” (See Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3335). 7 – Calamities by means of which Allaah expiates sins in this world. It was narrated in al-Saheehayn that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No tiredness, exhaustion, worry, grief, distress or harm befalls a believer in this world, not even a thorn that pricks him, but Allaah expiates some of his sins thereby.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5210; Muslim, 4670). 8 – The torment, squeezing and terror that happens in the grave. These are also things by means of which sins are expiated. 9 – The horrors, distress and hardship of the Day of Resurrection. 10 – The mercy and forgiveness of Allaah, with no cause on the part of His slaves. See: Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn Taymiyah, vol. 7, p. 487-501. To relieve worries and distress recite the du’aa’s narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), for example, the saheeh hadeeth narrated from Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him): “There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatija naasyati bi yadika, maada fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka. As’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghayb ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana al-‘Azeema rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’ huzni wa dhihaab hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Holy Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety),’ but Allaah will take away his distress and grief.” This is one of the remedies prescribed in sharee’ah. One may also say: “Laa ilaaha illa anta, subhaanaka inni kuntu min al-zaalimeen (There is no god but You, glorified (and exalted) are You, truly I have been of the wrongdoers).” [cf. al-Anbiya’ 21:87] Another form of treatment is ruqya with which a person may treat himself – which is better. The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do ruqyah for himself by reciting al-Mi’wadhatayn (the last two soorahs of the Qur’aan) when he went to sleep, then he would wipe his face and whatever he could of his body. Or a person may go to someone whose religious commitment he trusts to do ruqyah for him. See what the scholars have written about du’aa’ such as al-Waabil al-Sayyib by Ibn al-Qayyim, al-Kalim al-Tayyib by Shaykh al-Islam, al-Adhkaar by al-Nawawi, and Zaad al-Ma’aad by Ibn al-Qayyim. From the fatwas of al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, Kitaab Fataawa Islamiyyah, vol. 4, p. 465-467. I'd like to recommend that you read this online book, I want to Repent but.... http://65.193.50.117/books/wantrepent/english.html
NS
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