Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| top ten excuses of muslim women who........... |
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| Suha |
| 02/05/02 at 08:03:22 |
| The Top Ten Excuses Of Muslim Women Who Don't Wear Hijaab And Their Obvious Weakness [i]By Dr. Huwayda Ismaeel Rendered into English from Al-Bayaan Magazine [/i] Get on the train of repentance my sister, before it passes by your station. Deeply consider my sister, what is happening today before tomorrow comes. Think, my sister - starting now. All praise is due to Allah ta'aala as is deserved by His Majesty and Great Power. I send prayers and ask for blessings upon His Noble Messenger who drew the path for us to the pleasure of Allah and His Jannah. This path is a straight one that is surrounded by virtue from all sides and attends to the best moral characteristics which are increased by the clothing of purity, concealment, and chastity. It is the path trod by the two halves of human society, namely the man and the woman, toward harmonious contentment and happiness in this life and the Hereafter. This is precisely why the Protector, the blessed and above all imperfection, has made wearing hijaab (see this month's As-Sunnah Article) an obligation upon the woman as a safeguard of her chastity and protection of her honor and sign of her faith (Eemaan). It is on account of this that societies (both Muslim and non-Muslim) that have distanced themselves from the way of Allah and deviated from His straight path, are ill societies in need of treatment that will lead them to recovery and happiness. Among the pictures that point to the distance of society from that path and that make clear the level of its deviation and separation from it is the open spread of women not just uncovering their faces but enhancing and making a display of their beauty. We find that this is manifested regretfully, in Islamic (Muslim) society despite that Islamic clothing is also widespread. So then, what are the reasons that have led to this digression? We put this question to a varied group of women from whom we derived ten major excuses and upon examination and scrutiny, the frailty of the excuses became evident to us. Stay with us dear Muslim sister in these few lines so that we can know through them the reasons for turning away from the hijaab and then discuss each. Excuse One: I'm not yet convinced (of the necessity) of hijaab. We then ask this sister two questions. One: Is she truly convinced of the correctness of the religion of Islam? The natural answer is: Yes she is convinced for she responds "Laa ilaaha illallah!" (There is no god but Allah), meaning she is convinced of the aqeedah, and then she says: "Muhammadun rasoolullah!" (Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah), meaning by that that she is convinced of its legislation or law (sharee'ah). Therefore, she is convinced of Islam as a belief system and a law by which one governs and rules their life. Two: Is the hijaab then a part of Islamic Law (sharee'ah) and an obligation? If this sister is honest and sincere in her intention and has looked into the issue as one who truly wants to know the truth her answer could only be: Yes. For Allah ta'aala, Whose deity (Uloohiyyah) she believes in has commanded wearing hijaab in His Book (Al-Qur'aan) and the noble Prophet ('alaihi salaat wa salaam) whose message she believes in has commanded wearing the hijaab in his sunnah. What do we call a person who says they believe in and are content with the correctness of Islam but who nonetheless does not do what Allah or His Messenger have ordered? Certainly they can in no way be described as those whom Allah speaks of in this aayah: The only saying of the faithful believers when they are called to Allah and His Messenger to judge between them is that they say 'we hear and obey' and such are the successful. [Soorah An-Noor 24:51] In summary: If this sister is convinced of Islam, how then can she not be convinced of its orders? Excuse Two: I am convinced of Islamic dress but my mother prevents me from wearing it and if I disobey her I will go to the Fire. The one who has answered this excuse is the most noble of Allah's creation, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) in concise and comprehensive words of wisdom: There is no obedience to the created in the disobedience of Allah.[Ahmed] The status of parents in Islam, especially the mother, is a high and elevated one. Indeed Allah ta'aala has combined it with the greatest of matters, worshipping Him and His tawheed, in many aayaat. He stated: Worship Allah and join none with Him and do good to parents. [Soorah An-Nisaa 4:36] Obedience to parents is not limited except in one aspect, and that is if they order to disobedience of Allah. Allah said: But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. [Soorah Luqmaan 31:15] The lack of obedience to them in sinfulness does not prevent being good to them and kind treatment of them. Allah said afterward in the same aayah: But behave with them in the world kindly. In summary: How can you obey your mother and disobey Allah, Who created you and your mother? Excuse Three: My position does not allow me to substitute my dress for Islamic dress. This sister is either one or the other of two types: She is sincere and honest, or she is a slippery liar who desires to make a showy display of her "hijaab" clamoring with colors to be "in line with the times" and expensive. We will begin with an answer to the honest and sincere sister. Are you unaware my dear sister, that it is not permissible for the Muslim woman to leave her home in any instance unless her clothing meets the conditions of Islamic hijaab (Hijaab shar'ee) and it is a duty of every Muslim woman to know what they are? If you have taken the time and effort to learn so many matters of this world how then can you be neglectful of learning those matters which will save you from the punishment of Allah and His anger after death!!? Does Allah not say: Ask the people of remembrance (i.e. knowledgeable scholars) if you do not know. [Soorah An-Nahl 16:43]. Learn therefore, the requirements of proper hijaab. If you must go out, then do not do so without the correct hijaab, seeking the pleasure of Allah and the degradation of Shaitaan. That is because the corruption brought about by your going out adorned and "beautified" is far greater than the matter which you deem necessary to go out for. My dear sister if you are really truthful in your intention and correctly determined you will find a thousands hands of good assisting you and Allah will make the matter easy for you! Is He not the One Who says: And whoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty) and He will provide him from sources he never could imagine [Soorah At-Talaaq 65:2-3]? With regards to the 'slippery' one we say: Honor and position is something determined by Allah ta'aala and it is not due to embellishment of clothing and show of colors and keeping up with the trendsetters. It is rather due to obedience to Allah and His Messenger (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) and holding to the pure law of Allah and correct Islamic hijaab. Listen to the words of Allah: Indeed, the most honorable amongst you are those who are the most pious. [Soorah Al-Hujuraat 49:35] In summary: Do things in the way of seeking Allah's pleasure and entering His Jannah and give less value to the high priced and costly objects and wealth of this world. Excuse Four: It is so very hot in my country and I can't stand it. How could I take it if I wore the hijaab? Allah gives an example by saying: Say: The Fire of Hell is more intense in heat if they only understand. [Soorah At-Taubah 9:81] How can you compare the heat of your land to the heat of the Hellfire? Know, my sister, that Shaitaan has trapped you in one of his feeble ropes to drag you from the heat of this world to the heat of the Hellfire. Free yourself from his net and view the heat of the sun as a favor and not an affliction especially in that it reminds you of the intensity of the punishment of Allah which is many times greater than the heat you now feel. Return to the order of Allah and sacrifice this worldly comfort in the way of following the path of salvation from the Hellfire about which Allah says: They will neither feel coolness nor have any drink except that of boiling water and the discharge of dirty wounds. [Soorah An-Naba' 78:24-25] In summary: The Jannah is surrounded by hardships and toil, while Hellfire is surrounded by temptations, lusts and desires. Excuse Five: I'm afraid that if I wear the hijaab I will put it off at another time because I have seen so many others do so!! To her I say: If everyone was to apply your logic then they would have left the Deen in its entirety! They would have left off salaat because some would be afraid of leaving it later. They would have left fasting in Ramadhan because so many are afraid of not doing it later, etc. Haven't you seen how Shaitaan has trapped you in his snare again and blocked you from guidance? Allah ta'aala loves continuous obedience even if it be small or recommended. How about something that is an absolute obligation like wearing hijaab?! The prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said: The most beloved deed with Allah is the consistent one though it be little.Why haven't you sought out the causes leading those people to leave off the hijaab so that you can avoid them and work to keep away from them? Why haven't you sought out reasons and causes to affirm truth and guidance until you can hold firm to them? Among these causes is much supplication to Allah (du'aa) to make the heart firm upon the Deen as did the prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam). Also is making salaat and having mindfulness of it as Allah stated: And seek help in patience and the prayer and truly it is extremely heavy except for the true believers in Allah who obey Allah with full submission and believe in His promise of Jannah and in His warnings (Al-Khaashi'oon). [Soorah Al- Baqarah 2:45] Other causes to put one upon guidance and truth is adherence to the laws of Islam and one of them is indeed wearing the hijaab. Allah said: If they had done what they were told, it would have been better for them and would have strengthened their faith. [Soorah Al-Baqarah 2:66] In summary: If you hold tight to the causes of guidance and taste the sweetness of faith you will not neglect the orders of Allah after having held to them. Excuse Six: If I wear the hijaab then nobody will marry me, so I'm going to leave it off until then. Any husband who desires that you be uncovered and adorned in public in defiance of and in disobedience to Allah, is not a worthy husband in the first place. He is a husband who has no feeling to protect what Allah has made inviolable, most notably yourself, and he will not help you in any way to enter Al-Jannah or escape from the Hellfire. A home which is founded upon disobedience to Allah and provocation of His anger is fitting that He decree misery and hardship for it in this life and in the Hereafter. As Allah stated: But whosoever turns away from My reminder (i.e. neither believes in the Qur'aan nor acts upon its teachings) verily for him is a life of hardship and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection. [Soorah Ta Ha 20:124] Marriage is a favor and blessing from Allah to whom He give whom He wills. How many women who wear hijaab (mutahajibah) are in fact married while many who don't aren't? If you were to say that '..my being made-up and uncovered is a means to reach a pure end, namely marriage', a pure goal or end is not attained through impure and corrupt means in Islam. If the goal is honorable then it must necessarily be achieved by pure and clean method. We say the rule in Islam is: The means are according to the rules of the intended goals. In summary: There is no blessing in a marriage established upon sinfulness and corruption. Excuse Seven: I don't wear hijaab based on what Allah says: And proclaim the grace of your Rabb [Soorah Ad-Dhuhaa 93:11] How can I cover what Allah has blessed me with of silky soft hair and captivating beauty? So this sister of ours adheres to the Book of Allah and its commands as long as they coincide with her personal desires and understanding! She leaves behind those matters when they don't please her. If this was not the case, then why doesn't she follow the aayah: And do not show off their adornment except only that which is apparent [Soorah An-Noor 24:31] and the statement of Allah subhaanah: Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks all over their bodies [Soorah Al- Ahzaab 33:59]? With this statement my sister you have now made a shari'ah (law) for yourself of what Allah ta'aala has strictly forbidden, namely beautification (at-tabarruj) and uncovering (as-sufoor), and the reason: Your lack of wanting to adhere to the order. The greatest blessing or favor that Allah has bestowed upon us is that of Eemaan (faith) and hidaayah (guidance) and among them is the Islamic hijaab. Why then do you not manifest and talk about this greatest of blessings given to you? In summary: Is there a greater blessing and favor upon the woman than guidance and hijaab? Excuse Eight: I know that hijaab is obligatory (waajib), but I will wear it when Allah guides me to do so. We ask this sister on what plans or steps she will undertake until she accepts this divine guidance? We know that Allah has in His wisdom made a cause or means for everything. That is why the sick take medicine to regain health, and the traveler rides a vehicle or an animal to reach his destination, and other limitless examples. Has this sister of ours seriously endeavored to seek true guidance and exerted the proper means to get it such as: Supplicating Allah sincerely as He stated: Guide us to the Straight Path. [Soorah Al-Faatihah 1:6]; Keeping company with the righteous good sisters - for they are among the best to assist her to guidance and to continue to point her to it until Allah guides her and increases her guidance and inspires her to further guidance and taqwaa. She would then adhere to the orders of Allah and wear the hijaab that the believing women are commanded to wear. In summary: If this sister was really serious about seeking guidance she would have exerted herself by the proper means to get it. Excuse Nine: It's not time for that yet. I'm still too young for wearing hijaab. I'll do it when I get older and after I make Hajj! The Angel of Death my sister, is visiting and waiting at your door for the order of Allah ta'aala to open it on you at any moment in your life. Allah said: When their term comes, neither can they delay it nor can they advance it and hour (or a moment). [Soorah Al-An'aam 7:34]. Death my sister doesn't discriminate between the young or the old and it may come while you are in this state of great sinfulness disobedience, fighting against the Lord of Honor with your uncovering and shameless adornment. My sister, you should race to obedience along with those others who race to answer the call of Allah tabaaraka wa ta'aala: Race with one another in hastening towards forgiveness from your Lord and Paradise the width whereof is as the width of the heavens and the earth. [Soorah Al-Hadeed 57:21] Sister, don't forget Allah or He will forget you by turning His mercy away from you in this life and the next. You are forgetting your own soul by not fulfilling the right of your soul to obey Allah and proper worship of Him. Allah stated about the hypocrites (Al-Munaafiqoon): And be not like those who forgot Allah and He caused them to forget their own selves. [Soorah Al-Hashr 59:19] My sister wear the hijaab in your young age in opposition to the sinful deed because Allah is intense in punishment and will ask you on the Day of Resurrection about your youth and every moment of your life. In summary: Stop presuming some future expectation in your life will indeed occur!! How can you guarantee your own life until tomorrow? Excuse Ten: I'm afraid that if I wear Islamic clothing that I'll be labeled as belonging to some group or another and I hate partisanship. My sister in Islam, there are only two parties in Islam, and they are both mentioned by Allah Almighty in His Noble Book. The first party is the party of Allah (hizbullah) that He gives victory to because of their obedience to His commands and staying away from what He has forbidden. The second party is the party of the accursed Shaitaan (hizbush-Shaitaan) which disobeys the Most Merciful and increase corruption in the earth. When you hold tight to and adhere to the commands of Allah, and among them is wearing the hijaab - you then become a part of the successful party of Allah. When you beautify and display your charms you are riding in the boat of Shaitaan and his friends and partners from among the hypocrites and the disbelievers and none worse could there be as friends. Don't you see how you are running from Allah and to the Shaitaan, trading filth for good? Run instead my sister to Allah and follow His way: So flee to Allah (from His Torment to His mercy). Verily I (Muhammad) am a plain warner to you from Him. [Soorah Adh-Dhaariyaat 51:50] The hijaab is a high form of worship that is not subject to the opinions of people and their orientations and choices because the one who legislated it is the Most Wise Creator. In summary: In the way of seeking the pleasure of Allah and in hope of His Mercy and success in His Jannah and throw the statements of the devils among people and jinn against the wall! Hold tight to the legislation of Allah by your molars and follow the example of the striving and knowledgeable Mothers of the Believers and the female companions (radiallahu 'anhum ajma'een). In Conclusion Your body is on display in the market of Shaitaan seducing the hearts of men.The hairstyles, the tight clothing showing every detail of your figure, the short dresses showing off your legs and feet, the showy, decorative and fragrant clothing all angers the Merciful and pleases the Shaitaan. Every day that passes while you are in this condition, distances you further from Allah and brings you closer to Shaitaan. Each day curses and anger are directed toward you from the heavens until you repent. Every day brings you closer to the grave and the Angel of Death is ready to capture your soul. Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Hellfire and admitted to Al-Jannah, is indeed successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing). [Soorah Aale 'Imraan 3:185] Get on the train of repentance my sister, before it passes by your station. Deeply consider my sister, what is happening today before tomorrow comes. Think about it, my sister - Now, before it is too late! |
| Re: top ten excuses of muslim women who........... |
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| se7en |
| 02/07/02 at 23:48:25 |
as salaamu alaykum :) there was a discussion on this before [url=http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl/YaBB.pl?board=sisters&action=display&num=4325]here[/url]. wasalaam :) |
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| Tasnim |
| 02/08/02 at 13:05:51 |
| Salam sisters and brothers, I just wonder if there is no more important topic! I can't hear it anylonger.. hijab here, hijab there.... :-( Does hijab make a woman be muslima? I don't think so! It is my personal point of view and I don't want to offend anybody.... When the day has come that there is no human being on earth who has to starve, who can't go to school and can't consult a doctor then we can struggle for hijab! Wassalam Tasnim |
| Re: top ten excuses of muslim women who........... |
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| ABD |
| 02/09/02 at 00:15:51 |
| [slm] I agree with u, Sr. Tasnim that the tragedies of the world are very important but hijab is also a very important issue. I don't understand how ppl can say that hijab comes later and that we need to get our lives straight first. I'm not saying that getting our lives and deen in order isn't important, but wearing hijab is as important. Everyone knows that wearing a hijab is mandatory in Islam, and that it is ordered by Allah (SWT). Why do we leave for later in life? If it's ordered by Allah (SWT), doesn't that mean that we have to wear it the minute we become 'adults'. Every strand of hair that non-mahram men see of a Muslim woman's hair is haram and we will be asked of it on the Day of Judgment. The hijab is not an issue to be taken lightly. I'm sorry if i'm offending anyone but this is the truth, and the truth does hurt. Some sisters wear the hijab but they have hair showing from both sides of their faces, what kind of way is that to wear a hijab? Or sisters saying that they're not ready to wear a hijab yet b/c their peers or the ppl around them are not used to seeing her with a hijab. That's just an excuse to delay it and it really upsets me b/c wearing a hijab is such an awesome experience, SubhanAllah. But wearing a hijab is mandatory, in Surat-un Noor, ayat 31: "And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women...." It is clearly stated in this ayah that women have to cover their hair, and chest, and lower their gaze. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone or I've come on a bit strong, but that's how I feel. I feel that the hijab is taken very lightly among some sisters and that's not right. We should do the right thing and wear our hijabs to follow the commandment of Allah (SWT) Insha'Allah. May Allah (SWT) guide us all on the straight path and guide us in making the right decisions. Ameen. Plz forgive me if I've offended or insulted anyone, it was unintentional. Jaza Kumullahu Khayran. [wlm] Betul |
| Re: top ten excuses of muslim women who........... |
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| Tasnim |
| 02/09/02 at 03:04:17 |
| Salam, now one thing is clear for me. I believe in one single, unique God, but Islam is the wrong religion for me! I wish for all of you only the best... but your way is NOT my way! Fare well Andrea |
| Re: top ten excuses of muslim women who........... |
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| explorer |
| 02/09/02 at 06:37:16 |
| [slm] Sister Tasnin, Hijab alone does not make a woman muslima. If you recite Shahada with sincerity in your heart then you are muslim. Maybe the constant talk of hijab is pressurizing and giving the false impression that this is what Islam is all about, while your immediate feelings and thoughts are with those around the world sufferring from starvation, illnesses etc? Indeed the tragedies around the world are that, tragic, and let us pray and strive in whatever way we can to make someones life better, even its if for just one fellow human. In fact this is what muslims are obliged to do - help others - Zakat (charity) is compulsory(Fard) for a muslim. Even if our neighbour is starving and naked then we are obliged to feed and clothe him. Islam isn't just about Hijab. Some women may wear hijab but are they praying 5 times a day, covering the rest of their bodies, refraining from gossip/backbiting or perfecting their character? Prayer is the next action after Shahadah. You see theres more to being a muslim than just hijab. I'm not downplaying the issue of hijab but merely pointing out that its one of many obligations muslims are commanded to follow and our intentions are central to this. We are not judged by a single act alone. If you do, don't feel pressurized, ask as many questions as you like....:) |
| Re: top ten excuses of muslim women who........... |
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| explorer |
| 02/09/02 at 06:42:32 |
| Here a very good and thought provoking post about Hijab in the link given above by Se7en, by the ever-lurking, hiding-in-Jannah.orgs shadows, the mysterious Abu Khaled 8-) Hope he doesn't mind me pasteing his post here :) ---------------------- The ayat in Surah al-Baqarah which talks about the issue of no compulsion in the Deen is actually- if you look to the asbab al-nuzool [cause of revelation]- referring to the non-Muslims. Many times we have a misconception that it applies to us too, but in fact it doesn?t. Such a misconception perpetuates the notion that it is acceptable to delay acting on a hukm of Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ). This is dangerous. For it legitimisese the idea of ma?siyyah [disobedience], non-compliance and sin, by inculcating a sort of buffer-zone whereby we have time to become ready for a fard which Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ) has emplaced upon us. The conditions for taklif [legal responsibility] do not include readiness, wallahu a?lam [and Allah knows best]. To mention only some of the salient ones: sanity, maturity, understanding and capacity. Now some Muslims use ahliyya [capacity] as a crutch when they feel they are not ready to fulfil a particular obligation, claiming it is beyond their capacity right now. No. Ahliyya refers to that which is beyond your capacity *as a human,* not out of not being ready. [i]Yes, it may a big step to wear the khimar and jilbaab. Yes it may result in communal ostracization. Taunts. Astonsihment. Mockery. Etc. But none of this detracts from the fact that non-compliance inurs sin. It is the marginalisation of this through the lack of emphasis on it, by focussing instead on *easier* areas like graduality, which allow tolerance of sin, and thereby an acceptance of it. Note that the issue here is not to judge those who don?t wear hijab, for that resides with Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ). Too often for some inexplicable reason, it seems as if a sister?s whole Deen is defined by her hijab. Astaghfirullah. Hijab is just one obligation of many. It is not the be all and end all. Once a sister adopts it, her job has not ended, as some brothers/sisters seem to think. I know of many Sisters who don?t wear hijab, but measure them against the obligation of parental obedience, and they leave others who do wear hijab, standing. Of course I?m not generalising, just making the point that wearing hijab should be kept in context. It does not guarantee ones Deen, or even their Iman. But what it *does* mean is that non-compliance suggests that submitting to Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ) is secondary to submitting to those reasons which are obstacles. That is not intended to be condescending, for of course some of those reasons can be so hard to overcome. And yes, each of us is at their own stage in their road to Allah (awj). But we should be careful to become reliant on Allah?s (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ) Mercy if we deliberately forsake Him (awj). [/i] I remember once my cousin came to visit and brought her children. She took them out and treated tem to KFC, which here, is haram. Later on I asked her if she prayed for the welfare and prosperity of her children to Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ), knowing that of course, like any mother, she would. It would most likely be the first part of her du?a. She replied that of course she did, always. So I asked her why she thought Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ) would listen to her prayers when she deliberately and knowingly flouted His (awj) ahkam [rules]. She smiled knowingly. And I changed nothing. There is a difference between being indifferent to sin and accepting you are guilty, yet doing nothing about it, and being guilty, but it bothering your conscience. One doesn?t care, and one does, even if the latter feels unable to counteract it. The point is the effort. To try. Sincerely. Sometimes- and this is not directed at yourself- we act as if we understand *hikmah* [wisdom] to mean tolerance of the neglect of a fard/wajib. That in knowing that telling a sister to wear hijab will have no effect, it is better to coax her gently and give her time to adjust. To build her up, prepare her, mould her, in her uboodiyah [servitude]. Of course if someone disregards the shariah wrt to a specific rule, then it means that the relationship between the ?abd and Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ) has not been formed yet properly, like the embryo which is yet to reach maturity. Yet the link remains, so despair should not set in having read these words. The point is that allowing the delayal of a duty pre-supposes that death is far away, and so time is on our side. Whereas in reality, every prayer should be prayed as if it is the last. And likewsie every duty done as if it is the last time we might ever do it. Yet when graduality is crystallized within oneself, then it indicates that death is not at the forefront of our minds. But of course one cannot hope to come on so strongly effectively with someone who isn?t ready, for if you could, then the problem wouldn?t be there in the first place, right? It is somewhat of a catch-22, for whilst not being ready does not diminish the sin of not acting upon the wajib, telling someone what they already know does not work either. For if a person accepts they are sinful for not doing that which is fard, and yet still neglects that fard, their effort towards fulfilling it is only known to Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ), and both they and He (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ) know the sincerity behind that effort. The difference is that some of us, when in such a situation, still delude ourselves by being expectant of Allah?s (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ) forgivness and Mercy, and this leads to complacency, when in fact, at best, we are only entitled to be hopeful. And even that begins to erode if we perpetuate such ma?siyyah. All too frequently ?I can?t do this? is mistaken for ?I?m not?? Its not that you can?t, its that you won?t. Meaning free-will is involved, which in turn means accountability is everpresent. The weight of that alone is frightening. I pray for all my Sisters that Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ) facilitates their journey towards Him (SubHana Wa Ta`ala ) (and of course my brothers). Sorry if my words were harsh. It is only out of concern and care, even if that does not diminish any resultant chagrin. I smile at the thought that this is precisely what no one wanted to hear, and has maybe reinforced the perception that ?brothers just don?t get it.? In which case, I?m sorry for my ineptitude and lack of perception. Abu Khaled ---------------------- |
| Re: top ten excuses of muslim women who........... |
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| Hania |
| 02/09/02 at 09:21:06 |
| Salam Andrea (the sister formerly known as Tasnim :) ) I really admire you because you are searching for the truth. You have taken the time to study Islam and with courage you embraced it. What makes me admire you even more is your strength, even though you have no support from family and friends you decided to embrace Islam because you felt it was the truth. I was born a Muslim, so I cannot even begin to imagine the difficulties you have faced, all I know is you are someone I admire very much. I am sorry to hear that you feel Islam is wrong for you. If wearing a hijab is what has frightened you away then I’m a little surprised. You recently converted to Islam so no one is expecting you to perform every Islamic duty in under a week. Take things slowly and one step at a time. Learn about Islam and try and understand why Allah has commanded Muslims what they can and can’t do. After you have understood then decide whether Islam is or isn’t for you. I think the major problem you are facing is not the principles of ‘Islam’ but it’s loneliness. You feel alone and isolated because of your religion, and to wear a hijab would make you stand out and feel even more isolated. You are not alone, some of the sisters living in the West feel the same, but to overcome the loneliness you need to get in contact with other Muslims. There are so many sisters you can talk to here. One sister even sent me an IM saying she was so upset because you were having a hard time, see how people care about you. There are revert sisters here who have gone through the same thing. You can even tell us where you are in Germany and we can find organisations you can go to, to meet other sisters, I’m sure there are German sisters here who would welcome you to their homes. You don’t have to be a Muslim yet, just meet people see how you feel, overcome your loneliness and realise there are people to support you if you decide to become a Muslim. Hania |
| Re: top ten excuses of muslim women who........... |
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| Kathy |
| 02/09/02 at 09:31:57 |
| slm [quote]but Islam is the wrong religion for me! Andrea[/quote] Don't throw away such a gift from Allah swt because of a piece of cloth! Please e-mail me- I know exactly what you are going thru! Not only do I know- but understand and have been there! |
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| Hijabi4eva |
| 02/09/02 at 10:25:10 |
[quote] Sister Tasnin, Hijab alone does not make a woman muslima. If you recite Shahada with sincerity in your heart then you are muslim. [/quote] if u believe and recite tha shahadah with ur hear, den u'll wear the hijab neways! i dont think this is a dataeable topic! hijabi is a MUST, FULL STOP! |
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| Tasnim |
| 02/09/02 at 10:44:25 |
| really I wonder if there is no more important topic! It seems to be a lot much ado about nothing.... one under many other obligations.... I believe a peace of cloth isn't more than an outer sign, a signal... Some weeks or months ago I saw a young woman in the town, who covered not only her hair, but face too. Min. 20 ppl stood around her and starred at her! Why? Her clothes were completly transparent, you could see actually her skin! And as a scholar told me: there is no compulsion in religion! I won't wear a scarf! Regards Andrea FULL STOP!!! |
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| Tasnim |
| 02/09/02 at 10:55:01 |
| Assalamu alaikum Andrea, May I ask if you have already taken the Shahadah or if you are only considering becoming Muslim? I'll speak from the standpoint that you are already a Muslimah... Please don't allow posts such as these to upset you. It is very hard for new converts to begin wearing hijab. And it's not only converts...some born Muslims have a hard time beginning to wear it. I have been a Muslimah for almost 2 years now and started wearing hijab the day I converted. For me it was easy because I was surrounded by wonderful Muslims who encouraged me, not by judging me, but by allowing me to take that step when I was ready. :) Many women come to Islam because they know that it is the right religion and they jump in and take the Shahadah and everything else seems to fall into place...including the hijab. Now I know *many* Muslimah's who have been Muslim for years and they have yet to don the hijab. Does that make them less of a Sister in my eyes? Not at all. :) Maybe if you surround yourself with one or two strong Muslimah's who will stand by you and encourage you, not pressure you or judge you, it will make your decision to wear hijab easier. Allahu a'lam. Here in my area there are a group of Sister's who get together every few weeks or so to have hijab parties. They try out new styles, trade hijabs, purchase new ones, etc. It's not only a great way to introduce yourself to the hijab, but also to meet new Sister's. :) When you are ready, that day will come when you put the hijab on and you won't be able to imagine ever going out without it on again, insha'Allah. :) Please don't let a few off-putting remarks allow you to walk away from our religion. You have been blessed to be guided to Al-Islam. :) Have faith in Allah (swt) to guide you and to keep you strong. As new Muslims we are constantly tested in our faith and we will come across remarks, whether on forums such as these, or in person, that will throw us for a loop, and make us question our decisions. We must have sabr (patience) and trust in Allah (swt) to guide us to what's right. I'll post more later, insha'Allah. With du'a, Serena :-) |
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| Serena |
| 02/09/02 at 11:00:24 |
| Assalamu alaikum, Okay, this is odd. How did my post come up with Tasnim's user name? lol :) Serena |
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| ABD |
| 02/09/02 at 11:28:57 |
| [slm] Andrea I'm very sorry if I came on strong. Plz don't let my comment draw you away from the beautiful religion of Islam. I agree with everyone's comments and if you recite the shahadah with full sincerity in your heart, then you have entered the doors of Islam. The reason I stressed hijab was because it is an important factor in Islam. I actually didn't know that you had recently embraced Islam. I apologize again if I have come on too strong. May Allah (SWT) forgive me for my mistake and all of us. Ameen. There are more important issues in Islam besides for the hijab I agree. Prayer is the next important thing after saying the shahadah and there are people who may not cover their heads but they are sincere in their prayer, have haya'(roughly means modesty), stay away from backbiting/gossip/etc., and they are trying to better themselves. The hijab adds the final touch and when they wear it, it will Insha'Allah perfect their deen. I cannot truly understand what you are going through because I was raised in a Muslim family. Alhamdulillah you have embraced Islam and I pray to Allah (SWT) that He guides you and gives you strength as you struggle to become a better Muslimah, and that He guides us all in our struggles. Ameen. If there is anything I can help you with, plz email me. I know of a sister who just reverted and if you would like, I can give you her email address, Insha'Allah. Again I apologize if I have caused any discomfort and plz forgive me. [wlm] Betul |
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| Hania |
| 02/09/02 at 15:52:37 |
| [quote]now one thing is clear for me. I believe in one single, unique God, but Islam is the wrong religion for me! I wish for all of you only the best... but your way is NOT my way! [/quote] Siter Betul I didn’t think your post was too strong it was the truth mashallah. I’m not sure what religion is the right one for you Andrea and inshallah I pray you find what it good for you. But did you know that the hijab is not an invention of Islam, in fact it is part of Judaeo-Christian tradition. …… Just thought I’d share this with you. [color=green] Rabbi Dr. Menacherm M. Brayer (Professor of Biblical Literature at Yshiva University) quotes some famous ancient Rabbis saying:[/color] [color=red][I] “It’s not like the daughters of Israel to walk out with heads uncovered” and “Cursed be the man who lets the hair of his wife be seen…a woman who exposes her hair for self-adornment brings poverty” [/color][/i] [color=green] In the New Testament, St. Paul made some very interesting statements about the veil.[/color] [color=red][i] “Now I want you to realise that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of every woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dis-honours his head. And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dis-honours her head – it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or shaved off, she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. Or man did not come from woman, but woman came from man; neither was man created or woman but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head” (1 Corinthians(1:3-6)) |
| Re: top ten excuses of muslim women who........... |
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| Hania |
| 02/09/02 at 15:51:33 |
| [quote] really I wonder if there is no more important topic! It seems to be a lot much ado about nothing.... one under many other obligations.... I believe a peace of cloth isn't more than an outer sign, a signal... [/quote] [quote] I believe a peace of cloth isn't more than an outer sign, a signal...[/quote] [color=black] Insha’Allah I will try and explain why the hijab has been ordained for Muslim women using a leaflet from the Shariah institute. Insha’Allah by the end you will understand why many of the sisters wear the hijab. Unfortunately, for those whose only source of knowledge concerning Islam is the Western media, will inevitably believe that Islam is ‘oppressive’ to women - the hijab being the symbol/sign of oppression. Yet in the Western world women are suffering a nightmare and are oppressed in a different subtler way. A woman is expected to have boyfriends (or she is considered weird) and to lose her virginity before she is married. The media and multimillion-dollar film/advertising industries nurture the ideas of the common people and their principles, morals and conduct. [color=green] This unnecessary pressure on women to conform or be rejected is in itself a form of oppression. [/color] Everywhere in the west a woman is seen as an object of man’s desire only to be harassed and reduced to a source of temporary joy by nearly every advertisement that has to have a naked woman in order to sell its product. The western woman is led to believe that by selling her body she is achieving equality, but in reality she is just being exploited for the desires and financial gains of men. Thus, women in this society are not regarded as human beings with feelings and needs but as mere available commodities. [color=red] 38% of men have been found to physically abuse female counterparts in the modern workplace. [/color] Outside the workplace, men have let loose of their desires fuelled by the high exposure to media that exploits the femininity of women day in day out. Consider the following: [color=red] *A rape is committed every two minutes in the USA *In 1996 307,000 women were the victims of rape or sexual assault in the USA and only 31% of rapes and sexual assaults were reported! *75% of all sexual assaults are committed by men who know their victims personally. [/color] So this is the position of women in the west. Is this a society that promises the freedom and protection of its womenfolk? [color=red] The Solution:[/color] Many Muslim women are asked why they cover their heads. They are told it’s a sign of oppression. The hijab of the Muslim women is her protection. It allows her to be judged as an individual and not as an object of sexual desire, i.e. her sexuality is no longer in the equation and she is no longer a slave to the unfair demands of beauty made by this male driven society. The hijab inculcates modesty in a woman, it does not act as a sign of man’s authority over women, or her subjugation, rather it protects her from molestation. [color=blue] “O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women that they should cast their outer garment over their bodies so that they should be known (as Muslim and chaste women) and not molested” (33:59)[/color] [center][color=red] Hijab is our pride not our shame.[/center][/color] |
| ReDressing |
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| AbuKhaled |
| 02/09/02 at 16:51:18 |
| Bismillah Al-Rahman Al-Raheem Dear Sister Tasnim/Andrea, Assalam alaikum wa rahmatullah. I ask your forgiveness if my words that others have linked to, or pasted, have caused you heaviness, or grief, or even annoyance. That is my shortcoming, even though I was not the one who used them in this instance. But now I feel somewhat responsible for the outcome of your reaction. That said, I don’t know if you *have* read those posts of mine, or even if your alarming reaction is to my words, or others’ words. Whilst I hope it wasn’t a result of anything I wrote, my fear that it *might* have been, has seen me enter this thread. I wish people would think before they increase another’s burden, and I’m not alluding to Sister Andrea and hijab. I *know* it wasn’t done deliberately, but with good intentions. Sometimes though, a good intention just isn’t enough to carry the day. After all, it isn’t as if I am short of worry for my own hereafter without having to be weighed down additionally by feeling as if I may have contributed to a precious daughter of this Ummah not wanting to be a part of it anymore. Hashalillah… :( At the outset I’d like to stress that my remarks are not directed at any specific individual in this thread, lest anyone infer otherwise. I wrote this after I read Sister Andrea’s concerning remarks, and before I read the last few posts. And I don’t wish to fall into the same trap that I intend to be addressing. May Allah ta’ala reward those Sisters/Brothers who’ve responded in a way that is pleasing to the One who will ask us about all responses, and forgive the rest of us for our excesses. We need to learn how to convey before we go about the business of conveying, this Noble Deen. Sister Andrea, you are right, the world of Islam doesn’t revolve around hijab. You are right, there are more important things. But only in their place. And not in general. For example, when someone is at the point of walking away from Islam, is it more important to take the means to prevent that – bi’ithnillah – or to insistently restate the same point that they are so obviously resisting? Especially when that hukm is the cause of them wanting to leave the Deen of Allah ta’ala. Do we then try and forcefeed them the correct understanding concerning the issue, or maybe back off, let them release a little, and then address that which is more pivotal? And does doing so signify a belittling of the order of Allah ta’ala concerning hijab on our part, or does it reflect the maturity of the Prophetic wisdom being part of that character which attracts a person to aspire within the Deen? There is a time and a place. As one dear brother pointed out elsewhere some time ago, “it has been reported in an agreed upon narration by Umm ul-Mu'mineen A'ishah radiyAllahu 'anhaa, that the Messenger of Allah sallAllahu alayhi wa sallama said, “the most despised of men in the site of Allah is al-aludu al-khasm.” Imam an-Nawawi rahimahu Allah explains this hadith in his sharh of Sahih Muslim as follows: al-aludu: one who is intense (shadeed) in argumentation al-khasm: one who is skillful (haathiq) in argumentation. The blameworthy of which is: 1) one who argues against falsehood to raise the truth 2) one who argues to establish falsehood So “even if are in the right, we may become (through the intensity of our argumentation) no better than he who is upon falsehood.” And note, he further said, "The blameworthy was referring to the joint description of al-aludu al-khasm." So, not something to be overlooked, yet something which is all too often overlooked. Moreover, we should try to *establish* why someone has resistance, rather than speculate and suppose. Sometimes things aren’t as clear cut as we like to try and portray them. Yet we try to buttress our case, pile up the evidence, textual, rational, etc., and close off all possible avenues to resistance. And we do so with noble intentions. Yet it comes across as being less concerned with the feelings of that individual, and more concerned with making our point. Some of us talk to people from the perspective of hukm [law/rule] and we forget that what they may need is fatwa [legal opinion]. I am not saying anyone here is a Scholar, much less an ‘Alim, that they can be shooting out ahkam and fatawa. No, what I’m saying is that this thread reflects what happens when we don’t appreciate the difference between the two, because that difference parallels the difference in approach which two different realities entail. What is that difference then? Well, a hukm is basically a rule/law from Al-Shaari’ [The Lawgiver]. Now, that hukm doesn’t consider the reality of an individual, it is merely the rule which concerns a certain action. Like salat [prayer] being fard [obligatory], or talking about ones sins being haram [prohibited]. But a fatwa is like a hukm which *also* takes into account someones personal situation, and so *in that instance* the hukm may get affected, wallahu a’lam. In other words, ahkam tend to be general, and applicable to the *normative* reality which exists, whereas a fatwa is very specific and addresses a *positive* reality. I'm going to tell you a true story by way of illustrating this, which some of the other longstanding Board members will maybe have read from me before. One of the well-known Shuyukh related it. I tell you this because the worst thing you could do in your present state of mind is to renounce your Islam as a reaction to untoward comments made to you about hijab. Believe me, this would be unwise. Don’t let other peoples overbearing comments affect your decision to remain Muslim, because you are not Muslim for anyone here. So, whatever you do, don't do that. No one here has the right to enforce their comprehension of Islam upon you, it is your prerogative to take what you want, and leave what you want of words from a faceless name on a MessageBoard. Take myself, not a single person on this Board can even testify to my un/righteousness. No one can even say with certainty that I pray, so how then can we possibly consider acting on the words of people we have no basis for their trustworthiness in terms of their being a reference point for Sacred Knowledge? Yes, we extend the husn al-thann [benefit of the doubt], but we do that because that is what the Shar’a demands of us. But that is far from then assuming that that husn al-thann is grounds enough for accepting their words as the basis for my fahm [understanding] of this Deen. If anyone was to ask me, I’d say that to do that was carelessness with the most treasured gift I possess. When I take, I want to be sure I'm taking from one who is *qualified* and *authorised*, and not just someone who has the temerity to opine. Of our teachers, one recently said that despite having studied the Sacred Knowledge for over *25* years, he was *still* afraid of giving a fatwa that opposed any of the established fiqh (upon which a general consensus and khubool [acceptance] exists). Subhan'Allah, *that* is wara [scrupulousness] and taqwa [God-consciousness]. And you know what, for myself, I *prefer* it like that. I most definitely *don’t* want to have to bear the takleef for others acting on anything I write, astaghfirullah. Thus, it is your choice and it will be your outcome. In the same way that if I choose to rely on myself, rather than the Ahl al-'Ilm [People of Knowledge], then if/when I go astray I will have no one to blame but myself. Likewise, if I write ex cathedra, as if my word should be taken ipse dixit, then when others take *me* as their reference point, *I* will have no one to blame but my arrogant self in now having to shoulder their responsibility, and more fool them for following one such as me. We forge our own path in this Deen, and we will answer for our decisions. I don’t think any of us believe we can dictate to another Muslim how they need to live their Islam. We may advise, we can counsel, but when we do that in an overbearing and heavyhanded manner, then even the Truth can appear ugly, wal iyadhubillah. And then the blame will also be apportioned upon us, for the part we played in detaching Islam from it’s beauty by the inappropriate way we conveyed it. Wallahu a’lam. So, Shaykh X asked another Shaykh (Y) about a non-Muslim woman who wanted to embrace Islam, but she was presently married to a non-Muslim man. The latter Shaykh exclaimed "Zaniyyah, zaniyyah!" (referring to the illegitimacy of the conjugal relationship which would result). So Shaykh X asked him whether one who is non-Muslim has any chance of paradise? The other Shaykh replied in the negative. So Shaykh X asked him whether, on the other hand, a sinful Muslim has the chance for paradise, to which Shaykh Y replied yes. So Shaykh X told him that it is better she embraces Islam and is sinful, with a chance for jannah, than remaining an unbeliever and not even having that. Now, that is for one who is not Muslim and their entering Islam will result in a situation of sin. But the point of me mentioning it is to say to you that whatever you do, don't reject Islam, however unpalatable hijab seems to you, for whatever reasons you invoke. For however you are right now, being in the fold of Islam means you have that light at the end of your life’s tunnel. Without it, you will stumble about in the dark. I know that you are differentiating between your perception of Islam and what you are experiencing in this thread, and it is the latter you are rejecting, and not Islam. The problem is that others, who are intent on having their say, who want for their opinion to be uppermost, even at the price of a silence that might affect this unsettling development more positively, will claim that same Islam for themselves. You might find that they assert that what you are considering Islam is actually a mistake in your comprehension. Such is the way of argument sadly. So, my counsel would be to renounce all this secondhand information, and go and find someone learned, someone whom when you are in their presence will need to say nothing, but their mere company will make you want to draw closer to Allah ta’ala. Why? Because they will have been afforded by Allah ta’ala a fragment of the most fragrant aspect of the Prophetic character, that of his, salallahu alayhi wassalam, *example*. Because believe you me, *no one* who is from the People of Allah (awj) could ever speak the word of Truth and have it rebuffed by one *who was sincere*. Only one of two possibilities could explain such a phenomenon. Either that person isn’t as they (conceitedly?) imagine themselves to be, from the Salihin [Upright/Righteous], or that you are insincere. Now, since me thinking you to be insincere would involve me sinning unto myself by not granting you the husn al-thann, all that remains is the rather distasteful realisation that I am not of the Salihin. So, now, in coming to know this, is it then my business to sit here and try to convince you of the manadatory nature of hijab, or to go away and rectify my own affair? I think the one who possesses an ounce of wisdom will be able to figure out the answer for himself. Speaking only for myself, I know that whenever I am faced with such situations, where another Muslim seems to be having some difficulty accepting a certain aspect of the Deen from me, I look more to myself than I do to them. And more often than not, indeed the fault lies within me. And you know something else? Often it is not that what I may have said was wrong, but that the *way* I said it was not right. May Allah ta’ala guide me always to a way which is best. For this is His (awj) Shari’ah, not mine. It is not a toy I play with, something which I use to experiment my approach with to see what works and what doesn’t. No, that is not my right, for this is not *my* Deen. I am but a guest who has been honoured by an invitation. So, during my stay, I need to be on my best behaviour, lest my Host see fit to throw me out. And that is not something I want, yet it is something which, if I do wrong by the other guests, I may well find myself facing by way of recompense, wal iyadhubillah. Having said that, it is also imperative to realise, that as guests, both you and I are not the ones who determine the houserules. Our beloved Shaykh Abdullah Adhami, writing on the Adab of Knowledge, remarked on the ayat, ““O You who believe, do not press forward in the presence of Allah and His Messenger” {49:01} [Sayyidina] Abdullah ibn Abbas [radhiallahu ta’ala anh, 68AH] said that as a discipline this means that the believer never expresses an opinion about a matter of Shari’ah unless he first knows the ruling of Allah and His Messenger [salallahu alayhi wassalam]…” He also mentioned that, “In this regard, on the authority of az-Zuhri [[rahimullah] 124AH], the guidance of our Beloved Messenger [sallahu alayhi wassalam] helps to remind us to “speak about that which you have knowledge of. [And to] relegate that which you are ignorant about to the one who knows of it.”” Shaykh Adhami expressed that the “best awareness [ma'rifa] is for a man to have self-awareness. And the best knowledge ['ilm] is for a man to stop at the limit of his knowledge.”” I caution myself, and everyone else to heed these wisdoms, truly many of us remain heedless of ourselves in many regards. Subhan’Allah, may Allah ta’ala implant in us all the virtues of compassion, understanding and rahma. I pray He (awj) forgives us for transgressing you in any way. I am distressed by your reaction, and I *really* wished that people hadn’t referred to my words from a time gone by. Not because I don’t stand by what I wrote, but because those words *had a context*. I was dealing with a *particular* mindset, a specific reality faced by certain Muslims. To then apply my words to another context, and that too without sufficient forethought, does not only do an injustice to me, but allows for those very same words to be so easily be taken the wrong way by a reader who doesn’t appreciate the context they were expressed in. A reader who doesn’t maybe fall into the kind of mindset we were addressing then. That doesn’t diminish what was said, it merely confines it to a context, and that is fine. If someone had asked me, I would not have recommended pasting those words to one such as your blessed self, for clearly your reality differs, so what you require is not the same. My dear Sister in Islam, know that you finding yourself amidst the garden of Al-Islam was not by your reckoning, but by the reckoning of the One who had favoured you by this way. In adorning you with the manifestation of Islam, you were blessed to enter a fold which not everyone can claim the honour of. He (awj), told you, “Say: You do not flatter me by your claim to Islam- rather it is Allah's favour upon you that He has guided you to believe, provided you are truthful.” [49:17] So, don’t throw away a favour the likes of which you cannot possibly imagine the cost of. Hear the more learned and exemplar Sisters/Brothers here, out, please. Not myself, for I am of the guilty parties, astaghfirullah, but those who have something worthwhile to say. Sister Serena is an *excellent* example of such a Sister. You know, just to show you that what I wrote was not so one-dimensional, absolute, and general as maybe it may have seemed to you, here is something else I wrote to *someone else* on this very same Board, some time ago, about hijab. And you may note the marked difference in the approach I took: “…it is one infuriating reality of our time that hijab is seen as a symbol of piety. It isn’t. It is atrocious that Sister’s who don’t wear hijab are considered less pious than those who do. Not because it isn’t a sin not to wear it, but because it is only *one* aspect of your whole Deen. So how then can this one single act be taken as a defining criteria for the whole Islam of a Sister, a’uzubillah? This is unfair, unjust, and there needs to be a readjustment in such thinking. I know of Sisters who wear hijab who date. I know Sisters who don’t wear hijab who wouldn’t ever consider being alone in a room with a non-mahrem! My point is that wearing hijab does not make one a pious Muslimah *in and of itself*. Piety requires much one than a single outward action, yet how often is it witnessed the difference in treatment of Sisters who wear it and Sisters who don’t, for no justifiable reason, ma’adallah! How must that make those Sisters who don’t, feel? They have feelings, so why tread all over them? Is that your Islam? We have to realize the times we live in. It is not so easy as “Here, here’s the Quran and Sunnah, go figure.” No, many many Sisters *truly* believe that just dressing modestly (in the rational sense) is what is required. This is a result of a massive indoctrination that transcends generations. So we should not become so merciless that we assume insincerity having just shoved an article which mentions the ayaat and ahadith relevant to this issue, under some poor confused Sister’s nose, and demand she change her ways and she doesn’t immediately submit. A’uzubillah, where is our empathy? We are the Ummah of the one (saw) who was sent as a rahma [mercy] to mankind. Accordingly, know that taqwa [God-consciousness] is not established by the fulfillment of one obligation alone, rather it is the combination of your inward and outward ahwal [states] in obedience to your Lord (swt) that aids this. So just as a Sister may be remiss in not wearing the hijab, so might another Sister who does wear it, be remiss by being harsh, arrogant, and self-righteous towards her, in her indignation, judgementalism and by manifesting disappointment, for neither are these Islamic traits. I think there is another fact, which a number of us who approach the da’wa in a very naïve romanticized and idealistic fashion, would do well to realise. That is, that we’re dealing with a positive (i.e. how it is, not how it should be) reality, so we need to be careful, lest we dent our own efforts in an attempt to be righteous. The issue of hijab is not like the issue of salat, where *anyone* who doubted that it was fard could not be taken seriously, for it is indisputable to *both* the common wo/man and the scholar. Hijab is not like this. Yes, it is unquestionably an obligation, and you will find *no* faqih of any distinction *ever* who said otherwise, which I say in full consciousness and aware of making such a massive blanket generalization, which is kind of the point (because normally I’m extremely wary of doing so). But, and here’s the thing. That during the tumult of this decline we’ve suffered and the resultant hemorrhaging of the Muslim mindset that displaced Islam as our reference point in life, hijab, unlike say, salat and siyam [fasting] (to mention but two examples), *did* get dislodged from the *lay* Muslim’s mind as being one of the wajibaat [obligations]. To the extent that whole generations of Muslims have lived otherwise pious lives (wallahu a’lam) oblivious to the fact that hijab was mandatory upon them. They *genuinely* believed it wasn’t. Now, why the concept of hijab underwent such remodelling yet issues like salat and siyam remained untouched is another discussion for another time, albeit an intriguing question to ponder over if you haven’t already.” Sister Andrea, I know you claimed there is no compulsion in the Deen, and whilst I think it is prudent that you definitely go and contextualise this perception in light of the Shari’ah, I also feel that right now is not the time for us to be engaging in this kind of discussion. Not like this, and not in this way. For we cannot do justice to you having transgressed you if you’re still upset, and for myself I am more concerned not to have this count against me – since it could be a door closed to jannah, ma’adallah! – than to convince you of a certain point. I think what lies underneath is more fundamental, and yet, ironically, because that is where it lies, it will take more than a few words on a MessageBoard. Another thing, which I’d like to ask anyone else other than my self, who has ever been in the position of not being fully committed to Islam, despite being Muslim. When, during your protestations of being too weak, of being unable, of asking for some breathing space, of pleading for some understanding, you didn’t get it, *did you appreciate that*?? Did others being in your face about it all the time, pull you in, or push you away? Was the harshness of the call more tempting than the lure of gentility? Was the unyielding judgementalism you felt was being directed at you, a cause for your inclining *towards* that which you then couldn’t commit to, or was it the compassion of those who knew that Allah ta’ala would bring you to that which you needed to be doing, when He (awj) was ready, and not when they were? Why is it that when faced with others who maybe have some difficulty in accepting something about Islam, we suddenly get amnesia of how it was like for us? I know hardly *any* Muslims who went from being completely unpracticing one day, to totally practicing the next. It took time, and that time was not unimportant in the development of that individual as a Muslim. Take the wahy [revelation]. When it was being revealed, not all the ahkam were present at once. So, at the onset of revelation, salat wasn’t compulsory, alcohol wasn’t forbidden, etc. And nor did all these ahkam suddenly get revealed in one instance. They reached the Sahaba, radhi’Allahu ta’ala anhum, piecemeal. Yet today, when all the ahkam *are* present, we imagine that *as soon* as we become liable for takleef [legal responsibility] there can be no extenuating circumstance for not submitting to *every* single hukm immediately. So, my question: when the *best* of generations did not develop in such a way, how reasonable is it to expect those who are far from their quality to do so? Now, I am *not* saying it’s okay to forego obligations, or perpetuate the forbidden. Nor am I being complicit with respect to excusing that. I am not espousing gradualism, nor am I trying to enforce some notion of immediacy. Rather, I’m just saying, (y)ours is not to judge. (Nor am I saying anyone *is* judging.) This business is all about earning the rida [good pleasure] of Allah ta’ala. The one who is committed to the Deen can quite easily discount themselves from that rida by being a cause for making the Deen unbearable for another. And we shouldn’t delude ourselves into shifting the burden of responsibility from our pitiful selves onto the other. It is *not* *always* that they have a problem with Islam, but that their problem is with (some) Muslims. With me, and maybe with *you*. Dwell on that, and chew on its implications. Then don’t spit it out, but swallow it, so it lies inside of you, there all the time, so you can’t forget about it, insha’Allah. Because it is often when we *do* forget about it, that we become an obstacle to another Muslim’s Islam, rather than a vehicle for it, bi’ithnillah. I have found out, the *hard* way that the way to bring someone closer to Islam, is not through evidences and proofs, but by *example*. By company. By being like the one who was beloved to Allah ta’ala, sallalahu ayahi wassalam. Thrusting ayaat and ahadith in someones face doesn’t instil that desire to *be* one whom Allah ta’ala will be pleased with, it just provides a lot of information. But such is not how hearts are changed, or indeed affected. That is why when *some* people used to just *see* - as it was related to us on the authority of our teachers – the face of our Beloved Prophet, salallahu alayhi wassalam, they used to become Muslim. No debate, no proofs, no discussion. Subhan’Allah, some things you just can’t articulate. And some things, don’t need to be, for they just *are*. You just need to want to know that secret. That is not to say that discussion cannot be an avenue, or that words have no effect. I pray that any damage to your precious Deen by words of mine which you previously read, and which weighed down heavily on you, may have been undone by this meagre effort. I ask you to overlook the rushed nature of this post, as I wrote it hurriedly, out of my concern from your reaction. You are my Sister, and you have a right upon me. One of which is that I don't push you away from Islam because of my doing. Someone entering/leaving the Deen is not a matter we dilly dally about, for such a decision affects the whole of their future, so I sacrificed something better for something rushed. I solicit your du’a, restate my apology once again, and ask your forgiveness. Please know that had I been consulted, I would not have asked for those words of mine to have been read by yourself, wal iyadhubillah, Abu Khaled :( |
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| Hania |
| 02/09/02 at 15:49:18 |
| slm After reading Bro Khaled's post now I'm sorry for anything I may have written which caused offence Tasneem/Andrea. I hope we haven't drive you away.:( Hania. |
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| explorer |
| 02/09/02 at 17:25:52 |
| [slm] Excellent post! breathtaking Your words always much appreciated. |
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| Tasnim |
| 02/10/02 at 05:46:29 |
| Salam br. Abu Khaled, you are always welcome and I whish I would knew more ppl like you! Wassalam Tasnim |
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| solehah |
| 02/10/02 at 09:56:09 |
| Salaam I have read this thread with much interest despite my limited internet time. I have my responses to some of the posts here, but I shall deny myself the luxury of expressing them for fear of adding fuel to an already raging fire. One point to consider (though the form, content and nature may differ from the original and subsequent posts). We take wearing a hijab as natural, and where its permitted some even find it cumbersome, but elsewhere in the world, the right to wearing a hijab is denied a Muslimah, even if it is our hukm. There's much I want to say about so many things mentioned in this thread but Alhamdulillah, I was bestowed restraint by the Almighty. Would just like ask all of us to stop putting ego first, be it intellectual, spiritual or just plain ole, and offer a dua that ALL Muslims may practise his/her Deen with ease and tawaddhu', Amin. Forgive this gauche penning should there be any offence caused. Wassalam. |
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| Tasnim |
| 02/10/02 at 10:24:17 |
| Salam, you forget one thing: wearing hijab is as natural for me as eating pork for you! Wassalam Tasnim |
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| solehah |
| 02/10/02 at 22:07:46 |
| Assalamualaikum wr wb Dear Mods This is my first request and I pray be my last. If I am out of line with the request please feel free to tell me so. I think that its about time this thread is locked. There are just too many misunderstandings which written words cannot dispel. Rather, in this case, they are aggravated. I feel a lot of hurt and sadness have been generated from this thread, although perhaps the original poster, and subsequent ones, may not intend for it to be so. My sincerest dua that Tasnim and the rest of us are given the Hidayah from ALlah and allowed to practise our Deen in peace. My sincerest apologies also if I have offended. PS I have been thinking about withdrawing my membership if I feel that I have caused grief and friction on the boards for it was love I wanted to spread and not mischief I want to cause. I pray that each of us are granted the ni'mah of Iman, Amin. |
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| bhaloo |
| 02/10/02 at 23:11:50 |
| slm I'm sorry I missed this thread, a brother emailed me about this thread. Alhumdullilah, Br. Abu Khaled's post is "spot-on" in this matter. I can remember many years ago some issues being difficult for me to comprehend or grasp, and the people explaining the things were harsh in their approach (though they meant well), and it was frustrating. But then alhumdullilah there were people that did take the time to explain things to me, to listen to what I had to say, to understand what my issues were with things, and they explained it in a way that everything made sense to me. And I remember how wonderfuly it was to have met Muslims like that, that didn't force things down my throat but listened to me, that made sure I understood things, and that things were falling into place for me. These people had knowledge, and they knew how to convey this knowledge (something that is seriously lacking in so many people in this day and age). That approach that was used on me, I never forgot it, and insha'Allah try and use that approach with others. We are all at different levels of our knowledge and understanding about Islam. An approach that works for one person, doesn't necessairly work for another. I think that's why its so important to listen and understand where the other person is coming from, to understand why the person thinks the way they do. We all need to show patience and understanding to each other, insha'Allah. |
| NS |
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| ABD |
| 02/10/02 at 23:32:27 |
| [slm] I take full blame for the grief that has come out of this thread. Sr. Tasnim and everyone else who has seen, read and aswered this thread, plz forgive me for any offense, any trouble I may have caused b/c of my reply. It was not my intention to come on strong and I feel terrible about this. May Allah (SWT) forgive me for this mistake and may He forgive all of us. Ameen. I will turn the advice the bro's and sis' gave into action and I will keep my mouth closed in the future about any topic of this sort, I do not want to hurt anyone else. Jaza Kumullahu Khayran. [wlm] the sorry sister Betul |
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| Tasnim |
| 02/11/02 at 01:43:38 |
| Salam, No one is perfect. I just hope that this threat had something good for all of us. I think it made clear that everyone of us should first listen, then think and think twice and then speak. I myself exposed me in a very defensive position which gave some ppl the chance to render prominent their formal knowlegde. What can we learn of it? That is the question! Wassalam Tasnim |
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| Suha |
| 02/11/02 at 07:00:16 |
| Assalamu Alaikum everyone, May Allah (subhannahu wa ta'ala) forgive me for this failed attempt to share some useful information. also i want to apologize to everyone who i have hurted by posting this thread. i know it's my fault i should have thought about it before posting such info, which could led to so much miscommunication and misunderstanding. there are a few things i want to reply to but i wont do it, think its better not to put more wood in the fire May Allah (subhannahu wa ta'ala) blind us of the darkness that leads us ashtray and may He keep us always at the straight way(Amin) peace suha |
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| Tasnim |
| 02/11/02 at 07:49:07 |
| Salam, it wasn't your fault. If you look in a mirror, is the mirror guilty when you don't like what you see? My reaction is simply my own problem. From the formal point of view you are right! I know that hijab is an obligation... I became muslim a few month ago and often I felt pretty under presure to be a perfect muslima within a few days....that made me being impatient with others... Peace Tasnim |
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| eleanor |
| 02/11/02 at 09:24:55 |
| slm Dear Brothers and Sisters, These hijab threads always generate a lot of negativity. I'd say at a guess only 6 months ago, it was me who responded as Sister Andrea has in this thread. Since then I vowed just to stay out of hijab threads because to be honest it just wasn't worth it. This is an open, public message board. Where everyone has the right to express their opinion, and where generally one's opinion is accepted and not trounced as in this occasion. But there's something about hijab that manages to get the sparks flying. I'd just like you all to appreciate the fact that here in Germany, hijab has a *very* negative image. Much more so than in any other Western country. Hijabis are generally ignored, mocked, scorned or laughed at. Hijab is a symbol of uneducation and ignorance. The general stance is "take it off, you're in Germany now..". I don't want to prejudge here, but I would guess that by growing up in Germany as a non-Muslim, one is automatically impregnated with these stereotypes, and therefore it takes a great deal of time, study, learning and understanding to get over the hurdle that if *I* put on hijab, then it doesn't make me all of the above by default. There are practically zero learning opportunities for german speaking Muslims/non-Muslims here. Anything that is organised is either in Turkish or Arabic or some other foreign language. Literature on Islam is generally warped and portrays Islam in a very negative light. Alhamdulillah, I have made contact now with a german lady who organises a little get together for reverts/potential sisters. She is a revert and to quote her is "the only hijabi in the group", which consists of four sisters. The meeting is too far away for me to attend but we're hoping to organise something soon, Insha Allah. Sister Andrea, I know I offered before, but the offer is still open. If you want to get in touch then simply IM me here at the board. Hijab was/is one of my downfalls when I reverted and through posts from people like Brother Abu Khaled amongst others, I realised that hijab or no hijab, Allah had definitely selected me to be amongst the blessed Muslims in this world. I may or may not wear hijab, but I cannot deny the fact that "la Illaha Illah Allah, Muhammadan Rasulullah". Otherwise I might as well just deny my whole existence. May Allah keep you safe and give you strength, Sister Andrea. May Allah bless Brother Abu Khaled and reward him not only for his beautiful posting, but also for the profound and positive effects his posts have on us all. Ameen. wasalaam eleanor |
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| jannah |
| 02/11/02 at 09:28:54 |
| slm, if you go back to the thread link that se7en put up, the same concerns that are being voiced now were the concerns we had when this article was first put up. we never seem to learn from our mistakes eh? sometimes it is not the message but the way the message is communicated that is important. didn't our prophet teach us to use wisdom in these things... anyways, i'm locking this thread only because i don't think theres anything else to say. for those who are sick of the 'hijab this hijab that' welcome to being a muslim woman of today :) and check out and contribute to the threads where we talk about other things...(ie 'this is not a hijab thread') is a good one :) take care, |
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