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defying one's parents

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defying one's parents
tibet
01/08/03 at 12:38:38
i know i am notorious for asking a lot of questions, but i need to be informed.
what does the qu'ran say about defying your parents? and does it qualify as defying one's parent's, if the child wants to become muslim and the parents do not approve? :(
Re: defying one's parents
theOriginal
01/08/03 at 22:28:24
Hey,

Here's only PARTIALLY what the Qur'an says about parents...I picked out only stuff I thought would be relevant.  Might be better to get explanations from people who know more than me:

We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not. Ye have (all) to return to Me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that ye did.  (29:8 )

And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.  (31:14)

We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, "O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favor which Thou has bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I submit (to Thee) in Islam."  (46:15)

                                                        ***

Showing kindness to your parents is so essential...but secondary when it comes in the way of worshipping Allah.  I guess that's the Islamic pov.  You only asked about the Qur'an, but if you actually go through the numerous Ahadeeth (Prophetic Sayings) on this issue, it becomes even clearer what the status of parents is in Islam.  Having said that, to a Muslim, obeying God is much more important than obeying your 'rents.

SF.
Re: defying one's parents
Kashif
01/09/03 at 05:37:37
assalaamu alaikum

In such a case, you are not obliged to obey your parents, in fact, it would be obligatory to defy them and become a Muslim. Although, obviously you would still show them as much repsect as possible in doing so.

The point is that we are obliged to obey parents generally, however, this is only the case because Allah has obliged us to be like that. So when we are obeying our parents, really we are obeying Allah.

The First verse that theOriginal quoted above is the one you want to focus on:

"And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents, but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do." [29:8]

May Allah make everything easy for you.

Kashif
Wa Salaam
NS


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