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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Very depressed |
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| onemuslimgirl |
| 01/11/03 at 12:42:13 |
| [slm] I wanted to ask for advice in this matter. I have been overweight for almost 15 years now, and the reason for that is I eat toooooooooooooooo much. I especially eat when I get depressed. I get depressed over anything and sometimes for no reason at all. I especailly get depressed when I realize that I am overweight. Its like a never ending cycle. A certain situation reminds me that I am overweight, making me more depressed, making me eat more, making me gain more weight. I wanted to know if anyone has had this problem and was able to solve it. I tried reading Quran and remembering those who are less fortunate such as our Muslim brothers and sisters in Palestine and other countries, but I still feel depressed. Do you think I need professionally help? I am worried that they will give me medication and then I will become addicted to it. thank you in advance for your advice and help. w'salam alakum. |
| Re: Very depressed |
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| theOriginal |
| 01/11/03 at 12:54:21 |
| [slm] Dear sister, Definitely go see a doctor, and it might be good to get a second opinion..it might help you in understanding what the problem is. I am not a professional at all, but it sounds like this is a matter that could be easily resolved with a little will-power, inshaAllah. And since you said that you fear you might get addicted to the medicine that doctors might provide to you...again, this reinforces the fact that this is more than just a physical problem. Are you depressed only about your weight? Or are there other things you worry about? You have the ability to deal with this. The best thing to do is to make up your mind about what you want to do, and then do it, inshaAllah. It's a daily, hourly effort...and it might seem impossible...but I can promise you that it's not. Since being overweight is a problem that could be dangerous to your health in other ways...that already gives you an incentive to try to work on it. May Allah make it easy on you. Ameen. Praying for you. SF. |
| Re: Very depressed |
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| hijabi4L |
| 01/12/03 at 00:17:19 |
| [slm] Hey sista, that was def good advice from original. i def know what ur going through, i mean i used ot eat soo much, constantly whether i was bored, depressed, or whatever. then you find yourself gaining weight, and you become more depressed, then eat more and more. and basically you're getting nowhere. my best advice to you is to first of all make du'aa to Allah swt, for his help and making this task easier for you. then, find some sort of pasttime, like something to do when you become bored or depressed. my recommendation would be exercise, let everything out that way, whether you go for a long walk to get your mind off things, or run it out on a tredmill, anything to just be moving and keep yourself busy. or if you dont want to start with that, you can try writing, or reading, or just about anything else you can get your hands on other than a snack. that worked for me, i didnt start to lose weight right away, but i did start to feel better, in all aspects. so theres my take on it ;) i hope maybe it helps, or gave u some ideas... [wlm] with my du'aa, eman |
| Re: Very depressed |
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| sofia |
| 01/12/03 at 22:42:24 |
| As-salaamu 'alaikum wa rahmatullah - May Allah make things easier for you, sister. First thing's first, ask yourself if you could be doing more in terms of 'ibaadah to Allah. Seems like it initially would be unrelated to over-eating and/or a weight problem, but every and all problems are only helped by Allah, and He turns to us when we turn to Him. You mentioned that you "tried" to read more Qur'aan and think about others, but what have you *done*? This is a rhetorical question for all of us (myself, first). This deen is a deen of action, which I tend to forget. Even dhikr is action. And the connection between the tongue and the heart is, subhanAllah, a very interesting phenomenon. "Verily, in the remembrance/dhikr of Allah, do hearts find rest." Surah Ra'd. Please surround yourself with active Muslims, and talk to someone when you have a chance, preferably a Muslim counselor. But know that when you ask for anything, ask Allah. Every action of ours will be questioned, even the ni'ma/blessing that Allah gives us in terms of food (did we thank Allah? did we use it for its best use? etc). Maybe fasting more often would be helpful, since it helps us to perform more 'ibaadah. Overeating or even eating until one is full is not from one of our teachings. But the main thing to work on is what is driving you to overeat. Allahu'Alim, we'll make du'aa for you, iA. Btw-here's a good du'aa for many different situations (including getting out of debt!) that may be useful, insha'Allah. "Allahumma 'innee a'udhubika minal hammi wal Huzni, wal 'ajzi wal kasali, wal bukhli wal jubni, wa Dal'id-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijaal." [Bukhaari] O Allah, I seek refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being overpowered by men. |
| NS |
| Sorry veryyy longgg, i know!!! |
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| Road2Jannah |
| 01/13/03 at 13:47:12 |
| [slm] I agree with all of the comments made by the sisters alive. I have soo much to say but i dont know where to start from lol. oh wat the heck let me just start... first of all onemusilimgirl, u have to know that many women face this problem, it is not only YOU, and MANY have overcame it. so that is GOOD news!!! It is all in the mind, i will post some articles to make it clear for u inshallah. But the best cure is the peace in ur heart, the peace comes from ALlah, from dikr, and from Quran. ALways keep ur self busy. It wont hurt to do two things at once like run on a treadmill and listen to QUran or islamic lecture!!! ur serving ur SOul and ur Body, isnt that GREAT!! here is something to help u get started( igot this from Oprah's website) ;D ;).... phase one ==>is about changing the way you think. It's about moving toward your goal of enjoying a healthier and happier future. You must get in touch with some truths about yourself before you can learn how to lose weight and keep it off. In addition, you will start by making some behavior changes: drinking water and moving more. Make the commitment by setting goals and signing a contract with yourself. Get with the Program is all about patience, persistence and pacing. It's about self-discipline, self-control and personal commitment. Most of all, it's about feeling good about yourself and taking good care of yourself. This program is a realistic life-changing process—for life! Explore your beliefs, attitudes and behaviors that relate to yourself and the process of change. Learn all about the process of how you gain and lose weight. Make a personal pledge to Get with the Program. http://www.oprah.com/health/bob/program/bob_program_phase_1_getstarted.jhtml Complete the workbook and spend one to three weeks incorporating Phase One's requirements into your daily routine. http://www.oprah.com/health/bob/program/bob_program_phase_1_wb1.jhtml Workbook: Exploring Beliefs and Attitudes Start the process of change by acquiring a healthy attitude toward yourself. Complete the Phase One workbook. Personal Contract http://www.oprah.com/health/bob/program/bob_program.pdf Make the commitment! Print out the Get With the Program contract, sign it and hang it on your refrigerator, at your office ... wherever you will see it daily to remind you of your goals. You will need the free Adobe Acrobat Reader to see this file. Download it here. PRINT OUT THE CONTRACT and STICK with IT!!!!! Get Moving! Prepare your body for exercise and start increasing your physical activity to boost your metabolism. Here's how. In Phase One, Bob Greene says you have to increase your physical activity as much as possible. For now, you should aim for at least 30 minutes per day (you can break into 10 or 15 minute segments if necessary). By exerting a little more energy every day, you will boost your metabolism. A few ideas on how to get moving: Hide your remote controls. Walk instead of drive. Take stairs instead of elevators. Ride a bike. Jump rope. Pull some weeds. Wash a car. Polish your floor. Jog in place. Take a hike. Functional Exercise During phase one, you need to prepare your body for more rigorous exercise through functional fitness. Perform routine movements that improve your flexibility, balance and coordination, as well as the muscular strength and endurance of your abdomen, your back, the stabilizing muscles of your shoulder and lower legs. In the following phases, you will continue to build your strength and flexibility by increasing these exercises on a weekly basis. Functional Exercise Requirements Phase One: One set of 15 exercises, three times per week. Phase Two: One set of 15 exercises, four times per week. Phase Three: Two sets of 15 exercises, five times per week. Phase Four: Three sets of 15, five times per week. DrinkWater http://www.oprah.com/health/bob/program/bob_program_phase_1_water.jhtml Get the benefits of drinking water and tips for incorporating 6 glasses a day into your lifestyle. You should complete Phase One in between one and three weeks. Stay movitated on a daily basis by journaling and creating support groups online. Stay with the Program. Are you ready for Phase Two of Get with the Program? If you can check or say "yes" to the following statements, you're on your way! I completely understand and feel comfortable with the information in Phase One. I have a physician's permission to participate in an exercise program. I've signed the Get with Program Contract with Myself. I've made adjustments to my life so I have time to participate in this program. I informed people close to me that this program and my goals are important to me. I drank six eight-ounce each day for at least one week. I performed my functional exercises for at least three days a week for one week. I've looked at the requirements for Phase Two, and I'm confident I can meet the challenge! If you are able to check off all the boxes, congratulations! You're ready to move on to Phase Two—it's time to rev up your metabolism! http://www.oprah.com/health/bob/program/bob_program_phase_1_checklist.jhtml I know this is longgggggg, so i apologize if it is!! Well u can always check out the links its much more clear and organized. Inshallah if you do this and u see any success then tell us about it!!!! But overall, make DUAAAA, and inshallah everythng will fall into place, it is just hard at first but it gets easier lil by lil. The pain of losing weight is not as great as gaining weight, and living with it. Us muslim sisters shouldnt let that happen thinking how out hijab or khimar will hide the extra luggage, which most of us have!! inshallah if we make this a goal it will HAPPEN. Here is a diet [] :P sorry if i offended any1111. [slm] :-* :-* :-* :-* |
| Re: Very depressed |
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| amatullah |
| 01/13/03 at 17:43:31 |
| [wlm] I maybe not be much help here. I didn't ever was overweight. But I just want to say who says skinny is beautiful anyway? It is a social construciton. For example, where my husband originaly came from they like the women big and viluptous and curby. And one of the first things he wrote to me was to eat more! I do eat i just don't get full and i like to be hungry because of the hadeeth that when you have an empty stomache Allah fills it with nur. I think what is beautiful changes according to time and place. If you are healthy don't worry about it too much. If however, it is a problem becuase of health then that is different. Many women who are big are beautiful and they are very (moving fast) and active and they dance very well. Don't get sold to this culture where toothpick is the only way to be and all that because it is a sign of their mental illness really as a society. I think if you find somethings you like to do it would be good and just don't worry so much about body image. I know it is easier said then done espeically if you are a younger girl. but like i said i may not be much help but that is what i think anyway. I see many beautiful ladies all around me and they are all so different. and what makes them beautiful even in terms of physically, are all so different features. It is hardly just one body type. I came across this article and i thought of you and decided to write this to you http://argument.independent.co.uk/low_res/story.jsp?story=367961&host=6&dir=173 |
| Re: Very depressed |
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| Angelic |
| 01/14/03 at 21:13:05 |
| Assalaamu Alaikum Hello muslimgirl Everyone here has given you some good advice. I come to reply to your cry because I have experienced what you are going through and I still do. I wanted to share with you some things that have helped me. I had a joke with my friend the other day who was also depressed, I said to my friend that I've been depressed on and off for years and I don't seem to have grown out of it. This is so true and you will find it a while before you can really feel better and at peace in yourself but when you are surrounded by caring people life seems so much easier. Never feel guilty about your appearance, remember it's the soul that's important but of course we need to be responsible about our health because there maybe something that's just not working properly. I found out this year that I had diabetes which explained why no matter how hard I tried I found it difficult to lose weight. The things I am doing right now is trying to drink a glass of water every 1 and a half hours. Exercise at least 30 minutes 3/4 times a week (preferably walking and some stretching) and thinking about the food that I'm putting into my mouth. If you can afford a dietition, it would be highly recommended. Avoid the so-called fad diets. Depression is generally about something lacking in your life. Try to reflect on what makes you sad about life right now. Find a new interest and make sure you spend time with Allah each day asking for guidance and help. I have been overweight all my life. I found that it was due to a fear of men and not really what I was eating. A few years ago I moved to another country and I felt so much more relaxed since I was not really interested in Asian men that I ended up losing more than 60kgs. In the last year due to my diabetes I have put back 1/3 of that weight on but I'm trying hard to deal with it right now myself. I hope you find the answer. Angelic |
| 01/14/03 at 21:14:25 |
| Angelic |
| Re: Very depressed |
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| Anonymous |
| 01/18/03 at 07:41:53 |
| Assalamu Alaikum my dear sister, Firstly, I’d like to say that I am really sorry for the state you are in at the moment and that you are in my prayers. I think you have been given good advice by other sisters and may Allah bless and reward them all for their efforts. I would like to add a few more things. My humble view is that you need different kinds of help. Firstly (and most importantly), you should definitely make lots of dua and constantly seek help and guidance from Allah. Without His help nothing is possible!! This point has been emphasised sufficiently by all the sisters. Secondly, as we all know, the Qur’an says that Allah does not change anything or help us unless we help ourselves. Here I would recommend professional medical help. This is absolutely necessary. Sister Angelic mentioned the possibility of diabetes and I would like to add the possibility of hypothyroidism. The latter is the under (or not) functioning of our thyroid gland and this situation may result in various problems, including depression and being overweight. I am hypothyroid myself, though I am not overweight at the moment (but I may easily be if I am not careful). Hypothyroidism is very common especially among women and is usually overlooked. However, it can lead to many serious problems if not treated. And its treatment, though life-long, is easy and possible! While agreeing with sister Amatullah that nowadays many women exaggerate their weight problems your message did not give me the impression that your situation belongs to this category. Even if you are not (and insha Allah) diabetic or hypothyroid, you still need to get rid of your extra kilos in order to feel healthier and happier. Let’s not forget that even extra 10 kilos may lead to serious health problems while we get older, such as heart disease, cholesterol, cancer, circulation problems, etc. If possible, seek help from a good dietician for a healthy and balanced diet! The latter is essential for our religion as well. One of the key words in the Qur’an is “balance” and this applies to everything in life, including eating. I am Alhamdulillah coming from a health-conscious family including doctors and have been lectured about these issues since my childhood. So please my dear sister, in order to break the vicious cycle of eating and getting depressed, see a doctor (if possible, a good one) and ask him to make the following blood tests at least: blood sugar, free T3, free T4 and TSH levels. I am not saying that you have a disease, but if there is one which is the cause of your problems, then you will get nowhere without being properly treated first. In case you are diagnosed please don’t get disheartened. I have heard many successful treatment stories.... Please keep in touch and tell us your progress, concerns, etc. You are not and should not feel alone. You are going to be in my prayers. May the Most-Merciful Allah give you lots of strength and patience to deal with and solve your current problems. Take the greatest care Your sister Zahra |
| Re: Very depressed |
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| Bismillah23 |
| 03/10/03 at 23:30:20 |
| [slm] Salaams sister, I know exactly what your going through! its tough!, but as others have posted on here ask guidance from Allah swt, and ask to make this easy for you. I know of a sure way to lose the weight though. if you need more help E-mail me, or send me a message, Inshalah I will help you sister. Its easy when your on this plan. Andany other sisters who would ike help, let me know!! It's called the Atkins diet, i dont know if you have heard of it or not... but u pretty much eat Meat, cheese,eggs, salad, diet pepsi no caffeine... and ofcourse water.. you lose weight soo fast! i los about 15lbs in less tha a month. thi is all u stay away from okay... bread, rice <tough one for me!> sweets, milk, etc.. if u drink milk, drink soy milk, if u want a snack, snack on peanuts. the first two weeks of the diet, u can ONLY consume 20 grams of Carbs a DAY.. cause carbs are the thing that is making u gain weight. <me as well, as well as many others> do this sister, nd trust me, u will lose the weight. u will notice a big difference. just eat MEAT, all the meat u want. cheese to snack on, salad, eggs for breakfast, tea, <no caffeine> diet pepsi <no caffeine> and water... let me know how it goes for u!! That reminds me, i need to get back on it! Salaam's |
| Re: Very depressed |
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| safa |
| 03/11/03 at 22:00:30 |
| [quote]I get depressed over anything and sometimes for no reason at all. I especailly get depressed when I realize that I am overweight. [/quote] The way i see it, and forgive me for sounding presumptous if i do, the weight problem is a symptom of your depression and not the other way round. So it seems to me that its your depression that needs treating and not necessarily your weight problem. As far as your depression goes, you just need to find ways to boost your morale girl!! I would say, begin by phasing out negative people, places and situations as far as possible, but most of all du'a is THE healer. Cos i have gone down the road to depression, for about 3 years or so, during my teens (when my streaks of rebellion were just beginning to surface, which i am now so infamous for ;) ), and if it is one thing i CAN say for sure, it is none but satan who puts those thoughts of lack of self-worth into your head. And it is none but Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala who can show you the light. Try not to brood too much, keep yourself busy with anything constructive and that includes plenty of supplication. As one of Allah's wondrous creations, you are much too important to be wasted on something as fickle as a weight problem. Once your depression is under control, the weight problem as just another one of its manifestations should work itself out. And professional advice would help tremendously. Take care of yourself sis. With my dua'as safa |
| 03/11/03 at 22:03:48 |
| safa |
| Re: Very depressed |
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| sista |
| 03/16/03 at 20:43:12 |
| [slm] Got some folks coming over in a few weeks inshallah for a rishta...my mom told them I was "slim and tall"...I now have just under a month to lose 3-4 inches from my (hidden) waist...pretty good incentive, no? ;D Otherwise, if I want to stop myself eating, I have to keep myself busy with something else...exercise that I [i]enjoy[/i] for example, or study, or housework...add a few fasts and reminders of the hadith that sis Amatullah mentioned...tends to work out well enough (ie I end up shaped like a pear instead of a melon) Seriously though onemuslimgirl, can't really improve on the advice the other sisters have given you - will just pray that Allah makes things easy for you, inshallah. Head up and keep smiling, ukhti! You can be as slim as you like in Jannah...just work on getting there. For the time being you're just beautiful [img]http://www.jp3d.net/yahoo/images/new/05.gif[/img] [wlm] PS Subhanallah Bismillah23 only 20g carbs? I live on fruit! |
| 03/16/03 at 20:47:40 |
| sista |
| Re: Very depressed |
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| ummfatima02 |
| 03/16/03 at 22:59:32 |
| ASalaamu alaikum, Well, If you eat toooooooo much, I strongly recommend the Atkins diet!! You can eat more without having to watch the fat!! It may be a metabolism problem (very typical in american society) and I like this diet because once your body is in Ketosis/Lypolysis burning stage, Your body will burn off the fat stores you have, taking it that you will not eat no more than about 30 grams of carbs a day. Just a little advice, this is the last diet you will ever have to get on! Masalaam, Ummfatima PS lay off the [] |
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