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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| 20 years and beyond |
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| wired-up |
| 01/23/03 at 12:33:04 |
| Assalamualaikum Inshallah in a couple of days I am going to be 20!!!!geee that was quick I was just 13 like yesterday:).There aren't goina be no b'day bashes or b'day bumps .Just a normal day :) I feel soo old but atleast soon inshallah all these whack teenage years are going to be behind me.Alhamdullilah it has been a good life so far .Full of ups and downs and level plains. Actually I 'd REAAALY appreciate if all the ..ahem ...seniors(mentally,psychologically or physically) on this board could give me some invaluble naseeha .Anything at all that would be useful for me in this life and the Akhira:) JazakhAllah Khair Wassalam :-) ps:I wrote this post to extract handy advice from the elders.Don't get side -tracked by all the b'day talk okay?:) |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| Abu_Sashimi |
| 01/25/03 at 07:27:30 |
| [slm] I'm not much older than you, but at the age of 20, if I knew then what I know now, I would have changed a lot of things about myself. In Sha Allah, as time passes on, we get wiser from experience, from the knowledge we gain from those experiences and from our interactions with others. My only piece of advice for you, and fogive me if it's not as optimistic as one would want, but remember death. As we get older we are closer to our graves, one year that has passed, is one year closer to our death. For this reason, I really have no idea why people celebrate their birthdays. Some might think that this is a negative view of their lives and will only get one depressed. On the contrary, I think this is a positive view of the world, a realisitic view where humans understand their limitations and need to work as much as possible under those conditions, and to also submit to the One who has created those limitations upon us. When we reflect more of time, and our death, and the limited nature of this life, I think that we can gain a better sense of how to prioritize our lives, also appreciate whatever we have, and In Sha Allah submit ourselves more to the Will of The Creator. As I mentioned in another posting, I don't remember the exact hadith, but the Prophet [saw] advised us to take heed of five things (I can only remember three of them, but if others remember all of them please post it up, or if you know the entire hadith In Sha Allah): 1) health before illness, 2) youth before old age, and 3) free time before being busy. He [saw] advised us to make as much use of our time, and especially our youth. Fi Amanillah. |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| Kathy |
| 01/25/03 at 09:32:40 |
| [slm] Advice from a senior: If you are under 45 do not call yourself old. All of us "oldies" will just roll our eyes and smirk.... :P One of the best pieces of advice I got was "this too, shall pass" Keep it in mind. From the big things to the little things. When ever there is adversity, remember to trust that with every difficulty there is relief. Ah.. so your 20. This means the world of sexual temptations will be biting at your heals. Â Get married if you are able. Â If not, fast...alot... I have heard from many a people that the indiscretions they commited during this time, lasted a moment, in retrospect- but have provided years and years of regret and sorrow. Twenty is where the path splits... choose your friends carefully.. now is the time to become involved with the children at the masjid. They will look up to you and you will be gaining blessings and insha Allah, blessings from what you taught them will succeed after you die. Your life has just begun... watch the clock and do not waste any of it! |
| 01/25/03 at 09:34:11 |
| Kathy |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| Saffiyah |
| 01/25/03 at 10:10:10 |
| [slm] From what Abu Abu Sashimi said... Related by Ibn-Abbas; the Prophet [saw] said, "Grab five things before five others: your youth before your decrepitude, your health before your illness, your wealth before your poverty, your leisure before your work, and your life before your death." also Abu Hurayrah (R) related that the Prophet (S) said: "Every servant of Allah will remain standing before ALLAH on the Day of Judgement until he has answered five 5 questions about five things: > his life - how he spent it; > his knowledge - how much he acted upon it; > his wealth - how he acquired it and how he spent it; > and his body (and health) - how he used it." [wlm] |
| 01/25/03 at 10:13:19 |
| Saffiyah |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| theOriginal |
| 01/25/03 at 22:54:30 |
| [slm] I relate. I just turned 21 on the 23rd, and boy was it EVER! depressing. I mean, I think it was the most depressing day of my life...I tried not to think about it, and I hadn't told anyone, so the only people who mentioned it was my immediate family, but they know how touchy I am on the subject :) Then I changed my MSN nickname to "Happy Bidda' Day to Me" (Which I thought was mighty humorous, at least momentarily...and was the highlight of my abnormally normal day.) Anyway, I can't give you advice...all I can is that this is that perfect age, where I'm really too old to make excuses for myself. So here I am, facing my life, praying all the way, that I make the most of it...that every moment passes with some purpose, and that I can work on controlling my horrible habits. It's just that time, when it's useless to be irresponsible with your spirituality, time, energy, money, and even love. It's that time when you realize that your parents cannot bail you out for your mistakes, when the only friends that really matter are the ones who won't waste your time, when it's time to give back some of what you have received. It's that time, you know? I'm too old to invest in people who don't care, I'm too old not to care for people who invest in me, I'm too old not to work hard, I'm too old to be lazy. All puns aside, it's time for me to deliver. And Alhamdulillah for that. All I can do is make duaa for you. May Allah (awj) grant you Hikmah, may He grant you awareness, may He guide you everyday. And may He do the same for me. Ameen. Wasalaam. SF. P.S. Happy Birthday. |
| 01/25/03 at 22:55:15 |
| theOriginal |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| wired-up |
| 01/26/03 at 03:34:17 |
| Assalamualaikum Warahmatullah wabarakatuhu Firstly ,I'd really like to sincerely thank all those who took out their time and posted invaluble advice for me .JazakhAllah Khair :)This means a lot to me and I feel honored and blessed .Alhamdullilah .:) And to all those who didn't reply.....WHAT you guys waiting for ???.Buck up beoble:)How often do you find immature brats come to you and tell you that they are (inshaallah) willing to listen to any goodness you guide them to and keep away from harm and haram. [quote author=Abu Sashimi link=board=bebzi;num=1043343190;start=0#1 date=01/25/03 at 07:27:30][slm] . In Sha Allah, as time passes on, we get wiser from experience, from the knowledge we gain from those experiences and from our interactions with others..[/quote] Alhamdullilah there is hope for me. [quote author=Abu Sashimi link=board=bebzi;num=1043343190;start=0#1 date=01/25/03 at 07:27:30][slm] My only piece of advice for you, and fogive me if it's not as optimistic as one would want, but remember death. As we get older we are closer to our graves, one year that has passed, is one year closer to our death. For this reason, I really have no idea why people celebrate their birthdays..[/quote] How true! JazakhAllah bro for your post that contains personal advice ,prophetic wisdom and some real food for thought.I earnestly pray To The Almighty to make us ever -aware of our return to Him.You are cent % right if we remember death we will learn to live life. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sister Kathy I did not expect anything but goodly advice from you :) Sister to get married one has to responsible and over and above childish mannerisms. I have always wondered whether evolving from a child to a teenager to an adult has been the precious gift of time or a deliberate conscious individual effort . ??? In India there are children 10 yrs younger than me who will put me to shame by the level of their maturity and precocious behavior but then I know ppl who are much more elder to me still gropin about in the dark .Where does wisdom come from?books ,friends ,lectures..dunno ….I concluded it’s a gift of Allah (awj).Some got it ,others don’t . ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sister Saffiyah JazakhAllah khair for the hadith .:) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sister theoriginal :)Your energy and enthusiasm come out of your posts ,mashAllah . Yeah I know what you mean..I always wonder when and how will I ever pay back my parents and siblings for all that they have done for me .Is it even humanly possible? Being the youngest of four I am accustomed to them cleaning up after me and sorting out my life.Two of ‘em are on the board so thanks guys …for everything:)You are the B-e-s-t []mashallah. And ameen to your supplication .I pray that Allah(awj) forgive our sins and re-unite us all in the company of the righteous. Ameen Wassalam |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| BrKhalid |
| 01/26/03 at 07:14:48 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) [quote]Actually I 'd REAAALY appreciate if all the ..ahem ...seniors(mentally,psychologically or physically) on this board could give me some invaluble naseeha[/quote] Hang on can you be a senior physically but a minor psychologically? ;-) [quote]In Sha Allah, as time passes on, we get wiser from experience, from the knowledge we gain from those experiences and from our interactions with others. [/quote] 100% agree with this. Sometimes it's also useful to study those you respect, look at them carefully, see how they act and try and figure out why they do things a certain way. Sr Original I think you've been studying autocorrelation way too much. You need a break! ;-) |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| Barr |
| 01/26/03 at 11:19:53 |
| Assalamu'alaikum, My dear sister... In life, we would pass and find many diamonds in our life. Some of them, are bright and sparkly, that easily catches our eyes... yet, some of them, look like dull rocks.. but they are sometimes, the most rare and valuable ones. I hope U will find and recognise these uncut diamonds, as you journey through life... and it takes a lot of chiseling, hardship and polishing to make those diamonds shine. These diamonds are some things that U will have to find out for yourself... Those that would shape your heart, and give you insight, and help you to grow in strength, patience and beauty, that in turn, would help lighten other hearts, inshaAllah. Here's one of my favourite du'as of the Prophet [saw] ... that helps me in my journey, to recognise what really matters. :-) [color=blue][center] O ALlah, by Your knowledge of the Unseeen and Your power over all creation, keep me alive so long as You know life is good for me, and bring about my death when U know death is good for me. O ALlah, I ask You to make me fear You in the secret and in the open, I ask You to make me speak sincerely at times of contentment and at times of anger, I ask you to make me be moderate in poverty and wealth, I ask You for a blessing that does not end, contentment that never ceases, and for the acceptance of Your decree. I ask You of a good life after death, and I ask You of the joy of looking upon Your face and the longing to meet You, with no harmful adversity or misleading trial (fitnah). O Allah, adorn us with the beauty of faith, guide us and let us be means of guidance to others. [/color][/center] Hope you'll find many diamonds in your life, dear ukhti. I'm still on my journey, finding mine :-) Allahua'lam Wassalam |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| theOriginal |
| 01/26/03 at 12:05:02 |
| [slm] [quote]Sr Original I think you've been studying autocorrelation way too much. You need a break![/quote] Uhuh yeah. You have no idea how true that is. Wired-up....Just take it easy. 20 was a good age (in hindsight lol). I mean teenage years are so tumultuous...and I really hate the overplayed dramatic reality that I had created for myself. So *phew* I'm glad it's over. And as for being an optimist...I'm not. My cynicism plays out in different ways. Sis Barr that duaa...my gosh, I love it! Do you know where I might be able to find an arabic script for it? Wasalaam. SF. |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| Aadhil |
| 01/26/03 at 19:26:26 |
| [slm] I'm only 19 but what the heck. I never knew 20 was old. I thought the prime of life started at 33. So that means you have 13 years more to take advantage of your youth. I guess i'm lucky because I happen to by buddies with sh. Suhaib Webb (who recently moved to santa clara, California, where I live) and all the advice I need I could, inshallah, get from him. I work in the masjid bookstore so he visits here pretty often (and of course goes out with armloads of books). It would be good to read alot, and absorb information, since young people remember things better than people who have reached 40. (When young people memorize, it is like carving in rock, and when old people memorize, it is like painting on water, Hamza Yusuf [Quote from Mauritania].) [slm] ;-) |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| Mohja |
| 01/30/03 at 19:19:14 |
| [quote] Sis Barr that duaa...my gosh, I love it! Do you know where I might be able to find an arabic script for it? [/quote] [slm] Sr. Original, I don't know about an arabic script on the web but you can find this du'a and some other great ones (both in arabic and enclish format) in the booklet "Fortification of the Muslim through remembrance and supplication from the Qur'an and the Sunnah"..It's like $3 at the islamicbookstore.com transliteration: Allahumma be 'elmeka al-ghaybe wa qudrateka 'alal khalqe ahyenee mae 'alemta al hayata khayran lee wa tawaffanee edha 'alemta al wafaata khayran lee Allahumma ennee as'aluka khashyatuka fel ghaybe wa shahada was'aluka kelmatal haqqi fel ridaa wa ghadabe was'aluka qasdal 'ayshe fel ghinaa wa faqre was'aluka na'eeman laa yanfadh was'aluka qurratu 'aynen la tanqate' was'aluka ar-redaa ba'dal qadaa'e was'aluka bardal 'ayshe ba'dal mawte was'aluka ladhatul nadhare elaa wajheka wa sh-shawqa elaa leqaa'eka fee ghayre darraa'en mudderraten wa laa fetnaten muddellaten Allahumma zayyennaa be zeenatel eemane waj'alnaa hudaatan muhtadeena |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| Danyala |
| 01/30/03 at 20:37:18 |
| [slm] Watch the company you keep...seriously the friends you make WILL affect the decisions you make little by little...so keep good company and learn from knowledge because you wont always have the time you have now to do it. Take care Wasalams :-* |
| 01/30/03 at 20:38:11 |
| Danyala |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| Emerald |
| 01/30/03 at 20:56:07 |
One important thing to remember....DON'T call seniors "seniors" even if they are! >:( Just kiddin' ;D Well kinda... ;) |
| Re: 20 years and beyond |
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| Tesseract |
| 01/31/03 at 02:59:51 |
| Wa'alaikum Assalam wa Rahmatullah, [quote]Actually I 'd REAAALY appreciate if all the ..ahem ...seniors(mentally,psychologically or physically) on this board could give me some invaluble naseeha .Anything at all that would be useful for me in this life and the Akhira [/quote] A very rare finding, "Control of tongue", but try to adapt it and I am sure u'll not regret it InshaAllah. Try to speak only when there is need to and give urself time to think before u speak. I know that its very difficult to do, specially at an age like this i-e 20s, but challenges are better dealt with at this age and personally, I think there is no better age than this to learn habits which have almost become obsolete over time. Also, this is the age of shaping oursleves. Not all humans remain flexible all their life. Slowly and gradually with time, even without our realization, stubborness and rigidity takes over most of us, and then it gets harder to change ourselves even if we realize that our habit/s are unacceptable or unIslamic. There is a hadeeth on it too which goes something like that 'If u don't have anything good to say, its better to stay quiet.' Something that many of us miss out that our speech is one of the MAJOR means of expressing ourselves, and imagine not having control on something that is a major part of reflection of ur personality. And, finally, this advice goes to me first and then the rest of all of u. Wallahu Ta'ala A'lam. Wassalam. |
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