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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| is HEIGHT an ethnic/religious/universal criteria? |
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| jaihoon |
| 01/27/03 at 03:19:53 |
| [slm] ;-) and :-) Physical appearance plays an important role in the match making process. (or else Allah's Beloved [saw] would not have asked to have a look at the partner before marriage) And among the physical characteristics, height is perhaps the most visible aspect. Among the marrriage-related literatures I have come across so far, the only criteria relevant in ISLAMIC eyes is 'deen'. The hadith mentioning the four characterisitics for which a lady may be married - deen,beauty, wealth,ancestry- is very famous. And the Holy Prophet [saw] gave the preference (and i suppose not just recommended) to DEEN. Of course, it is desirable for both partners to be of same social class to avoid conflicts. fine. ::) However, in predominantly traditional asian cultures, height of the spouses is taken very seriously. Deviation from the normal rule arouses strong social reactions. my question: Is the height issue simply a matter of cultural taste? Or is it someting which Islam silently endorses, if not outright rejection? Or is it, still, a universal phenomenon just as the hot sun and the shining moon (i.e which requires no further explaination)? simply said, in the asian cultures that I know (indian and arab), the boy is 'expected' to be taller than the girl for a proposal to be considered. Is this the same in western societies too? If then, why has Islam or its knowledgeable ulama kept silent on this matter. (honestly, i havent read anywhere a recognized authority endorsing this matter). It is my firm belief that Islam is a, or the most, practical religion. There is no way it can miss such an important issue (if it is important for the harmony of the marriage). i'll appreciate some reply from dear bros and sis. Jaihoon |
| Re: is HEIGHT an ethnic/religious/universal criter |
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| Maliha |
| 01/27/03 at 08:26:34 |
| [slm] This is an interesting question:) I think taller women in general would feel awkward with a shorter man, that's just one of those universal things. May be not everyone feels like that, and some women don't care... Sh. Hamza Yusuf made a comment on how most of the world leaders have one common characteristic and that is height, people tend to look up to people who are tall. It's like a child looking up to an adult or something like that. Women like the feeling of being a lady, and it's just cute to be shorter than your man :-* I am making the broadest generalizations... i know a couple where the woman is taller, and Alhamdullillah they seem happy. I don't think it is something that should be addressed by scholars because really its a non issue. Unless the woman does feel weird with someone being shorter than her. Sorry if I am rambling... But my conclusion is, yes it's a culture thing, a universal cultural thing :) and it really depends on what is important to that woman. Some of us are pretty short and so this was never an issue ::) Sis, Maliha :-) [wlm] |
| Re: is HEIGHT an ethnic/religious/universal criter |
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| Kathy |
| 01/27/03 at 08:49:28 |
| [slm] I know the PC thing to say is height doesn't matter and in fact know of a couple of happily married Muslim couples where the wife is taller. Subhannah Allah, if you meet the perfect mate.. don't pass by one, because of height! |
| Re: is HEIGHT an ethnic/religious/universal criter |
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| BrKhalid |
| 01/27/03 at 09:16:13 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) [quote]if you meet the perfect mate.. don't pass by one, because of height! [/quote] May be it's a perception as to what the perfect couple should look like? I mean who's to say that a happily married couple doesn't involve the husband wearing higher heels? ;-) |
| Re: is HEIGHT an ethnic/religious/universal criter |
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| Chris |
| 01/27/03 at 11:03:19 |
| [quote]I mean who's to say that a happily married couple doesn't involve the husband wearing higher heels?[/quote] Please, don't make my mind go there, i've never been able to understand why girls like to wear high heels, and if guys start doing it i think i'll go become a hermit in Norway or somewhere. Chris [Edited by Admin] |
| 01/29/03 at 14:47:53 |
| jannah |
| Re: is HEIGHT an ethnic/religious/universal criter |
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| zomorrud |
| 01/28/03 at 14:24:28 |
| [color=blue]bismillah.. assalamu alaikum height can also intimidate some men, who would feel less powerful/secure if they are shorter than their wifes. most men would NOT want their wife to be considerably taller than them. although this thread is about height and marriage, other attributes do factor in. and it is just human nature to seek what is pleasing to the eye/heart. take care wasslam [/color] |
| 01/28/03 at 21:36:28 |
| zomorrud |
| Re: is HEIGHT an ethnic/religious/universal criter |
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| siddiqui |
| 01/28/03 at 18:08:31 |
| [slm] Personally I feel it dosent matter and infact would love to have a lady who is taller than me to be my spouse :-/ (boy would that piss my family off :-/) I think it is ethinico cultural phenomena across the world but if any one is asking a suggestion (Br Jaihoon or otherwise ;) ) Dont go by the rule be an exception ;) [wlm] |
| Re: is HEIGHT an ethnic/religious/universal criter |
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| a_Silver_Rose |
| 01/28/03 at 18:33:42 |
| [slm] When deen is there, height shouldnt matter... Every person feels differently. I know girls like to be tall like models...but in my highschool alot of guys liked short girls (makes them feel strong maybe?) And there are the guys who like tall girls... Sometimes when you get to know the person you start to like however they are...especially for girls. A girl can think gosh this guy is ugly the first time she looks, and then she gets to know the guy (and when he acts like a man), he starts to look not so ugly, but very cute. Alhumdulilah I will tell you something quite interesting.. Last month I went to two weddings in one week. In the first wedding the bride was much taller than the groom (and it was noticeable, but they were very happy, and i thought it was cute! :P) . In the second wedding the girl was 5'1 and the guy was 6'2! LOL it was funny because during the part where they steal the guys shoes he started cracking jokes bout his wife couldnt even reach his head to hit him (becaues one girl said if you dont give money then your wife will hit your head with the shoe) :-/ It was great.. may Allah give us the best of spouses... |
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